Disclaimer: Don't own anything in this story.

Author's note: So it's been a while since I updated this story. Work in real life and seeing how they've treated certain fantasy shows has led inspiration to be really low because they try hard to make it cool for certain audiences rather than actually make compelling stories. And unfortunately there are very few fantasy shows that actually make compelling storylines without offending certain sensibilities of beliefs. And before anyone says anything, considering the cosmology behind the buffyverse, they incorporated certain beliefs but never really established any identity of higher powers, and there was a mix of cosmological creation ideas that it didn't really mesh well. That being said, while this story is using certain beliefs, it is not used to offend anyone whatsoever. If there's something you don't understand, PM about the meaning. DO NOT use a review as a means to insult me behind an anonymous guest account. It shows a lack of courage when addressing me. On that note, here's the story.

Dormer Residence

Late February, 1999

Tara Maclay sat in her room as she was practicing some of her innate magical abilities. She was reluctant to have used her powers given what she had seen within the last few months of her life. Meeting Ambriel had caused her a bit anguish in knowing of an actual angel and the existence of God (which her father had forced into her head through fear and manipulation). And while the angel was staunch in what she/it (she wasn't sure how exactly that worked) stood for, the celestial being did not show any distaste towards her presence. Her thoughts were interrupted by a slight fluttering sound and she sensed something powerful in the room. She turned to see a man who was Zadkiel based on Xander and Faith's description.

"A-a-are you here to kill me?" the blonde asked with her stutter setting back in.

Zadkiel simply smiled before he replied, "No Tara. I'm not here to kill you. I'm here more so to talk."

"Talk to me about what?"

Zadkiel moved over to her dresser where he saw all of her items, from the different books to the symbols such as the triquetra. He smirked let out a small laugh given the different uses behind the symbol. He often wondered if humans knew the significance behind the symbols and the various uses.

The angel turned back to the teenager and stated, "I wanted to talk to you about everything you thought you knew."

Before he could continue, there was a knock on the door. "Tara. Is everything okay in there?"

"Yeah Mom, come on in."

Marie came in and saw the visitor. She felt her daughter's aura and his power and became worried.

"It's alright Marie. I just wanted to speak with Tara. But I am glad you're here. You can help fill in some blanks. You see Tara, your mother was someone who was born with her supernatural abilities just as you are. But there was something you may not have known."

"What he's saying is that our powers are not entirely genetic," Marie said.

"What? What do you mean? I thought the power was something that only some people were capable of."

"That's not exactly how it works. You see, throughout history certain people were gifted with certain abilities by Father Himself. Some teach, some write, and so on. But then there were those like you whom the Holy Spirit gifted with power. But things don't always go everyone's way," Zadkiel said as he gave a sympathetic look to Marie.

"What does my dad have to do with this?" Tara asked.

"You remember how your father acted and what he thought of our abilities. But when it came to your cousin Beth, he treated her like the daughter he never had, because she was powerless."

"He was jealous of what we could do?" the young witch asked.

"Yes. He thought if he was devout enough, God would grant him special favor. Looking at things now, I'd say that God granted us these abilities for reasons we may not fully understand," Marie said.

Tara looked the Zadkiel with slight anxiety as she asked her next question, "Why me? I can't imagine that God would think anything special of me, given the circumstances."

The angel smiled as he knew that she was reference her power and her dating choices. "Tara, I was there when I saw our Father reach out to Abraham. Most people think that Abraham was just righteous, but he was born and raised into a pagan society that would sacrifice children. Abraham would've been given over to that except God made him apart of His plan. And He has something in mind for you. It won't be easy, but you can rest assure that He will back you."

Tara smiled at the angel as she thought on how nice it sounded that she was given a purpose. Her thoughts were interrupted when Zadkiel spoke up again, "First things first, you need to speak with Willow about her power."

"Her power? What's wrong?" Tara asked.

"Get her to slow down before she does something even worse than she's already done," Zadkiel said right before his wings sprouted and he flapped away and he was gone.

Sunnydale High School

A few days later...

Jonathan and Xander were walking down the hall waiting for Faith and Amy. The two had planned to hang out with the girls once the school week was over. But as they were coming around a corner, they ran into Willow who was carrying some items for a spell. The two boys had a strange powder spill on them which they weren't bothered by. What they did notice were some of the other items.

"Hey Wills. What's going on?" Xander asked suspiciously.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. How are you guys? What's new in your world?" she asked before she began babbling.

"Will...breathe," Xander said as he grabbed her shoulders and gave her a slight shake.

"Right. Sorry. So what are you guys doing?" she asked.

"Thinking of what we're going to do on our double-date. I think Faith is nervous about the whole thing since she's never really dated before," the Harris boy explained. He immediately noticed how his oldest friend had flinched at the mention of Faith. He wasn't surprised these days as he knew how she felt ever since they had their "fluke". But he did his best to ignore it.

The three continued talking for a bit before they all split up. Jonathan and Xander continued talking but shifted to the subject of the supernatural. However, their talk was interrupted when Xander received strange visions. He saw himself as the thing he hated most: a vampire. He didn't know what was causing this but they stopped as soon as they came.

"You okay man?" Jonathan asked.

Xander shook his head before he replied, "Yeah. I'm fine. But I'm more annoyed than usual."

Xander figured that he was going to have to talk to his redheaded friend about what he saw, as he had known that most of her spells had gone bad even with the instruction that Giles was giving her.

Abandoned Warehouse

At the same time that Xander was assaulted with his strange visions, an intruder from another world had entered into this dimension. The stranger just so happened to look like Xander in his appearance. However, his skin was paler, and he was dressed like a vampire. The dark expression would let others know that it wasn't the Xander Harris that they knew. It was someone else altogether.

As the Xander look-alike took in his surroundings, only one question came to mind.

"Where the fuck am I?"

The Bronze

Later that night...

Tara sat with her girlfriend, Sandy, as she was expecting Willow to show up. Oz's band, Dingoes Ate My Baby, was performing tonight. Thinking on their relationship, she found Oz to be an alright guy. But she did wonder what it was that held the two together. She had been told about the entire history between the redhead and Xander. At first, it sounded like a rebound relationship since Xander wasn't interested in her. But then hearing how she chose Oz and Xander chose Cordelia caused her rethink her opinion.

Tonight, she was here for a different matter and she was hoping she would be wrong. She finally spotted the redhead moving over to the bar. She looked to her girlfriend to let her know that she'd be back and approached her friend.

"Hey Tara. You here for the band?" Willow said, expressing her affection for her werewolf boyfriend.

"No. I'm here for you," Tara said with a serious expression. Willow almost flinched when the young witch made her statement. She had initially been uncomfortable when she learned that Tara was a lesbian but was slowly coming around. The redhead noticed that Tara's disposition was one that belied a stern will.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked timidly, feeling like the person she was before she met Buffy.

"Maybe. Maybe not. That's what I'm here to find out. I want to know if you had cast any powerful spells lately," the blond said.

"NO! I mean, the new girl Anya tried to get me to cast one for her, but I told her that I couldn't do it," Willow replied.

Tara wanted to believe her. But given what she had been told by the group, not just from Buffy, she could tell that her magical power was escalating but she seemed to lack control. She wanted to say more, but their talk was cut short when the club was besieged by vampires. Unlike the times where they would sneak around trying to find their prey, these were in full game-face. It was made even worse when they noticed that the vampire leading them looked exactly like Xander.

"Ladies and gentlemen, there's no need to be afraid. We're just taking over is all," the vampire double stated.

"Xander?!" Willow asked in horror as one of her worst nightmares had come true. Tara however didn't seem so convinced as something about his aura didn't seem right.

The vampire double looked to Willow and gave a smile. It was one that Willow had never seen on her former paramour's face. She remembered dreaming for years about seeing love for her on his face. However, the vampire had a look on his face that seemed to express a depraved lust.

"Willow, you're alive," he said with a demented joy.

The redhead became scared as she saw the vampire double approach her slowly until he stopped and took a sniff. "You're alive."

The vampire Xander grabbed Willow by the collar of her sweater and took a long whiff and realized what he was smelling.

"You're human. Which means I'm in a different world. That would explain why the Master isn't ruling this backwater town," he sneered.

Oz jumped off the stage and approached the two as he asked, "Xander! What the hell happened?!"

"You! You're one of the white hats. But you're talking to me like you know me," the vampire said.

"Because he thinks you belong in this world. Bu the other you is still alive, still human," Anya said. "Maybe I can help you?"

The vampire double of Xander looked at Anya with disbelief written across his face as he approached the now human girl. "You think I'd want your help? A former vengeance demon? Please."

Anya would never guess that her fate would've led her to this point, as the vampire Xander grabbed her and sank his fangs into her neck. When her body was drained dry, the vampire simply dropped her to the ground without a second thought.

"Hmph. Tasted like grade A bitch. Does anyone else want to satisfy my thirst? No? Good. Now then, I'm going to be running this little town the way it should be, with the vampires in charge. If any of you meatbags get any bright ideas, you die. Any questions?" he smirked as he looked around until he spotted his other self with what looked like a hooded shorter man with him.

"Just one: you prefer vacuum sealed or swept up in a dust-pan?" the real Xander said. The vampire double roared out as his minions began to attack. However, Buffy and the others arrived to give backup.

As Jonathan, the slayers, and Giles fought off the other vampires, Xander squared off with his vampire double, the greatest fear in his heart ever since he discovered what lurked in the shadows, next to his fear of becoming like his father.

"So...you're the 'real' me. But you smell more than human. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you got in touch with something...holy," the demon sneered.

Xander looked at his dark reflection before he replied, "Guess someone up there was looking out for me. I'm only sorry the same didn't happen for the other me."

"Are you kidding? I was loser before I became this! Me and Willow both! I was some poor kid with a shitty family and shitty life. The girl I love was some mousy chick who couldn't stand up for herself. When the vampires came, Jesse died, and then me and Wills were turned. And now I have power. I can do anything I want!"

The vampire charged at Xander while the empowered human simply side stepped him, causing the demon to hit the wall.

"Is that what you think? If you really were me, you'd know that's not how I feel about power," Xander said as the vampire charged him but tried to go for a straight punch. Xander simply lifted an arm and blocked before he threw a punch hard enough to knock out his double's fangs. The vampire fell to the ground as he had never known any human that wasn't a slayer to punch like that.

"You think power is the reason I wanted to stick around with my friends?" Xander said. The vampire tried to get up only for Xander to kick it's mid-section hard enough to send flying into a wall.

Xander grabbed the vampire looked him in his demonic eyes as he said "Ever since I learned what hid behind the scenes, all I wanted was to protect my friends."

Xander punched him again, causing him to fall onto a table. The vampire couldn't believe that he was already beaten into submission. Before he could get up, Xander punched him again.

"Even when I was being thrown to the side because I was powerless, I couldn't stop! I can never stop! Not until I'm dead!" Xander declared as he began mercilessly pummeling his double.

The others had finished off the other vampires when they looked over to see what was happening. Everyone had heard his words and reacted in different ways. Buffy had been disappointed with herself as she had disregarded his thoughts more than once. When it came to Oz, she thought that Xander was simply being controlling. But after everything involving Angel and given his words now, she understood that he held in a lot, and she figured maybe things would be different.

Jonathan had been an outsider looking ever since Whistler brought him into the fold. He had heard the stories of what had gone down ever since Buffy arrived. But he knew that there were things that the group was hiding. As much as he didn't think Xander had to do things the way he did, he felt that Buffy could've done more to stop Angelus.

Faith watched as her boyfriend confessed his feelings as he beat the hell out of his vampire double. Part of what connected her to him what that she understood what he felt. She had been cast aside, considered worthless when someone was done with her. She had halfway expected that he would stay wrapped around Buffy's fingers yet knowing that he consistently stood up to her told her that it wasn't that simple.

Giles felt remorse in that he had tried to Willow and Xander out of the fight initially. Yet when Willow began learning magic, he hadn't done anything to help Xander. He had always thought that civilians should stay out of the fight. But served to remind him that civilians were among the largest targets for the vampire population, and not everyone knew what lay beneath the "real" world. Most of the council had people who had the knowledge but were not out in the field. It was a stark reminder of how the council and the slayer was not a strong defense.

Willow, for her part, was feeling like everything was not going as she had hoped. Xander had still been keeping things from her. And she hated that he wasn't as a part of her life as he used to be. But then she had cut him off after the fluke. She thought everything was better before Cordelia, let alone Faith. But things were different...too different.

The fight was coming to an end as the vampire Xander didn't bother fighting back. Xander withdrew a stake and prepared to stab his double when Willow's voice called out, "Xander no!"

He wasn't sure why she wanted him to stop, but he thought maybe something else may have tried to catch him off. But Buffy came up and stabbed the vampire double, making him crumble to dust.

"You killed him?" Willow said in surprise.

"Yeah. It needed to be done," Buffy said as she looked to Xander.

"Buffy...it was...it was Xander. Maybe if we had given him a chance, and sent him back, he could've had a chance to do better, to do good," Willow said in a pleading manner.

Buffy looked at Willow with sorrow in her eyes before she replied, "No he couldn't. I learned my lesson with Angelus. I wasn't going to let another situation like that come back to bite us again."

Xander turned over to Buffy in surprise. When he heard Willow's words, he became angered because it seemed like she had started repeating Buffy's mistakes. But hearing Buffy's reasoning had told him that something had changed.

Jonathan had observed what was happening and saw that the group had not resolved its own issues. And it seems that it was proving to be detrimental. He began to wonder how the group managed to survive when they weren't able to compromise, let alone resolve personal issues. Whatever it was that allowed them to survive, he knew that they were very fortunate. But he wondered how they would continue to survive if this kept up.

A few weeks later...

Giles Residence

Giles and Diana were going over their usual notes when there was a knock at the door. 'Who could that be?'

As the older man opened the door, he was surprised to find Jonathan standing there in full gear. However, the look on the short teen's face suggested that this visit wouldn't be pleasant.

"We need to talk," the young man said. Giles moved aside to allow him in, and Jonathan proceeded through.

Jonathan took notice of Diana and nodded to her before he sat down in the living area. He looked around and saw that there were books everywhere and figured they were trying to figure out the threat of the coming big bad. They had learned that there had been an evil that had settled there thanks to an incident with Belthazar, leader of Eliminati. And as it turns out, it was the mayor, who had been in the town for more than a hundred years. They had devised a plan where Cordelia had to infiltrate his office and find out what he knew since Finch had left town.

The plan in question involved having her apply as his assistant to learn about his plans. Part of it involved her trying to get close to Angel because the mayor assumed that sex would release his soul, only to resort to Wilkins' plan B of a spellcaster. However, the spellcaster helped the Scoobies as he owed Giles a debt.

In the end, they learned that the mayor was planning to become an avatar for an Old One. After a brief explanation, they knew that they could be killed. However, there was something Jonathan needed to go over something with Giles.

"Giles, there have been some things that I've noticed that I think need to be talked about," Jonathan started.

"Er...very well. What do you wish to discuss?" Giles said, not liking the feeling he was getting.

Jonathan leaned forward before he responded, "You've been with everyone for almost three years now. I want to know what you thought for all this time."

Giles sighed as he thought about what exactly Jonathan meant before the idea clicked in his mind. He took a sip of tea that he made for himself and Diana.

"If I had to give an honest assessment, I would say this. Buffy and Willow showed great promise initially. Xander I thought would be a liability. After seeing him survive, I saw that I was wrong. As odd as he is, he was always useful in some fashion. But there are times where I wonder if any of us could truly survive, given what they experience as teenagers."

Jonathan raised an eyebrow as he thought on the response before he replied, "If you believe that, what did you do? What did you tell them to help them?"

"I...I would tell Buffy and Willow what they needed to know so they would know how to handle their obstacles."

"What about Xander?" Jonathan asked.

Giles visibly stiffened at the thought. "I...haven't said anything...he never comes to me for anything."

"Have you ever thought that maybe he he was scared or embarrassed? I know how he feels about thinking like he doesn't matter. My parents are gone most of the time, so I've never had anyone to turn to until Whistler came to me that night. And now I'm part pf the group, but I'm not so sure how this group can survive if it can't get personal matters resolved."

Giles cleared his throat as Jonathan had hit on the very thing that he had always been worried about. He had seen when any of the original three were worried as individuals, though he now regrets not going to Xander. But he had seen when there was an issue that would affect everyone, not just Buffy. He saw how Xander wasn't afraid to stand up to Buffy. He believed it to be pure jealousy ever since they met Angel. But seeing his relationship with Faith, and how he was especially upset given what Angelus did the previous year, he couldn't help but note that Xander made good points about how Buffy had handled everything. He also saw how Willow would always agree even if Buffy was wrong. The older man resisted the urge to clean his glasses as he became annoyed with himself.

"You're right. I should've done better. But I'm not sure what I could've done. I always helped Buffy, and I never really said anything to let Willow know when she was wrong when she did her magic. But it was Xander I wasn't fair to the most. But I am going to fix that. In the mean time, we need to think start coming up with a plan to stop the mayor," Giles said.

With that in mind, Jonathan decided to help Giles and Diana with research.

Author's note: I know what you're all thinking. Here's the deal with the direction that Willow is going. Her handling Buffy coming into her life was something she fully embraced. But Xander not feeling the same way, and dating Cordelia she didn't handle well at all. Given how she handled things with Xander after their fluke, I find it disturbing that she was sad when she chose Oz but was crying when Xander lost his virginity to Faith. I could understand that she hadn't quite let go, but you would think she'd understand that she let him go. And her behavior when Xander was with Anya before they learned that he'd give his life for either was very odd because as Anya said "she didn't want anyone else to have him" and it was Willow who was partially to blame for Anya showing up, not just Xander. All in all, Willow's character took a very questionable turn. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Until next time.