Thanks everyone for all the lovely reviews so far. I'm so glad you're all enjoying this story. This next chapter is probably a little shorter, but I hope you like it anyways.
Also, meeting Emily was amazing. It almost didn't happen though. I got there and they told me that the VIP part already happened at 4:30 when everything else told me to get there are 5. I blew a gasget. I was so pissed and I think I scared everyone working at the theater lol. But other people missed it too so I was able to meet her anyways. Emily loved my Beatles shirt :) Totally made my day. Then she was going to autograph my free poster I got and she was bummed cos she just had a black sharpie, I saved the day by having a silver one. She liked that too :) We're the same height! (sorry, random cool fact). Anyways, it was amazing and she's even better and prettier live. I'm still on cloud nine from her touching my waist and me touching hers (sighs happily).
Anyways........... Here is the next chapter. I would like to thank my good friend J. (did I get the spelling right? haha) for introducing me to this song. It's by Breaking Benjamin and you should listen to it so you get a better feel of it. If not, that's cool too. Thanks again for reading, and enjoy.
Chapter 10- Anthem of the Angels
"Lunch is ready, Jackson!" Ruthie hollered up the stairs to her grandson. It was now Tuesday and everybody was a bundle of nerves while preparing for the reviewal on Thursday and the funeral on Friday.
Jackson bounded down the stairs. "Smells good, Mamaw," he replied with a sincere smile. "What are we having?"
"Your Grandma Ruby's famous fried chicken," she replied.
"Almost done, too," Ruby quipped. "Once Robbie Ray and Dolly get back from their jog it should be good to go." There was a short pause before she spoke again. "Oh, we invited the Oken's and Truscott's too. They insisted on making us lunch but I figured they could all come here and bring something if they wished to."
"Do you think Lilly will show up?" Jackson sadly asked.
"Well, Heather said she'd try to get her out of the house. Apparently she hasn't been going out a lot." She let out a sigh. "They got her out once since she was here last. I don't know what for though."
Jackson didn't have time to reply as his father and Aunt Dolly walked in the back door. "Oh it smells absolutely wonderful in here," Dolly spoke up with a smile.
Ruthie glanced at her son while Dolly went to help finish setting the table. A sympathetic frown took over her features when she noticed the heavy bags under his eyes and lack of shine in his eyes. "Robbie, sweetie, why don't you go wash up and then come back down for lunch. It shouldn't take too much longer for it to be ready." He simply nodded and she watched him walk away.
"Hey, um… Can I tell you guys something?" asked Jackson. When all three women gave their attention to him, he went on with what he needed to say. "I-I don't think I can handle college this semester… Do you think Dad would be mad if I dropped out and went back some other time…?"
Ruby set the plate piled with chicken in the center of the table. "I think he would completely understand, Jackson. You don't need to worry about school right now anyways."
"Thanks, Grandma." He let out a sigh of relief.
Shortly after their brief conversation, the Oken's and the Truscott's -minus Lilly- walked in through the main door. "Afternoon everyone," Nancy Oken greeted, holding up a hot, tinfoil covered dish. "I brought over some scalloped potatoes."
"Perfect." Ruthie gently took it from her to bring it over to the table.
"Where's Lilly?" Jackson asked, looking past the adults.
"She refused to get off the couch," Heather sighed. "I'm getting concerned; she hasn't been in her room for days now."
"You left her home alone??" Jackson asked completely dumbfounded.
"No," Oliver piped in. "I asked Joannie if she could keep an eye out on Lilly for us for a bit."
"Good." Leaving it at that, everyone went over to the table; Robbie Ray showing up right on time. Jackson took a seat between Robbie and Oliver and couldn't help but choke up at how lost his Dad looked. Things were most likely going to get harder for them once Ruthie, Ruby, and Dolly all headed back to Tennessee. Deciding not to think of that just yet, he shook his head and started gathering food onto his plate.
After lunch, they all made their way into the living room for small talk. Robbie Ray sat quietly on the couch, barely listening to anyone, when he noticed his son nervously look at him. "…What's wrong, Jackson?" he asked with concern.
"I just, um…wanted to talk to you about something," he began. "About school actually." At this point all eyes were on him. "I…I don't want to go back… I don't think I'll be able to handle it this semester."
Robbie gave Jackson a small smile. "That's perfectly understandable, son. You go to school when you feel you're ready to."
A big weight was lifted from his shoulders and Jackson couldn't help but return a smile. "Thanks, Dad," he said as he leaned in for a hug.
"Did you really think I was going to say no?" Robbie teased.
"I don't know," he shrugged. "I thought you might have been disappointed in me or something…"
"Of course not. School isn't important right now. We all need time to…to get through this…" Robbie's voice shook but he managed to keep his tears at bay.
Oliver's eyes wondered around the living room- memories of Miley flashing right before him, causing his throat to tighten. His mind then went to thoughts of his blonde haired best friend. Pulling out his phone, he sent a quick text to Joannie asking about how Lilly was doing. Joannie replied stating that Lilly still had yet to move from the couch but kept looking at a box that was on the floor next to her. He sighed. "Hey, um…I'm going to go see Lilly. Is that okay?" he hesitantly asked.
"Is Joannie having problems with her?" Randall worriedly asked.
"No, it's just…" Oliver stood up, running a hand through his short hair. "It's a little hard being here and I just want to check on her myself." His eyes were glazed over with unshed tears, which didn't go unnoticed by anyone.
"Go on ahead, son," Oliver's Dad, Michael, sincerely told him. "I'm sure Lilly could use her best friend right now. We'll be fine here."
"Thanks," he breathed. Then, he looked over at Robbie Ray. "Thanks for inviting me over, Mr. Stewart…"
"Not a problem, Oliver. Take care, all right?"
"I will…" After waving to the group of adults and Jackson, Oliver made his way out of the house towards the Truscott home; allowing his tears to fall freely.
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Joannie sighed in relief when Oliver arrived. Lilly never looked up, even after Joannie stood up to greet her boyfriend. "Hey," she smiled, leaning in for a kiss.
"How is she?" he whispered hoarsely.
"She won't talk," she replied just as quietly. "Maybe she'll talk to you."
"I guess it's worth a try…" Oliver walked carefully to Lilly. His heart sank, or rather broke, at the distant, fearful eyes of the blonde. "Hey, Lilly…" he gently greeted, kneeling down next to her.
Lilly's tired eyes slowly looked up into Oliver's worried ones. Her throat was too tight to speak and, luckily, Oliver seemed to understand that she didn't want to talk at the moment. Instead, Lilly returned her gaze back down at the box she had still yet to open.
"Lilly…I want you to do something for me," Oliver said with ease. "You've been wearing the same clothes for days. It would make me and everyone else feel a lot better if you got into some fresh clothes. We're all worried about you…" Oliver jumped when Lilly's head snapped up at him.
"N-No, I…I can't…" she replied in near tears.
His look softened. "Why not?"
Lilly sat up, moving her left hand from underneath the couch pillow to reveal a bandage wrapped around her hand. She took in the worried expressions on her friends' faces. "It's not what you think…" she whispered. "But…I can't go in my room, okay?"
"Okay, we'll get back to that later. Just tell me what happened to your hand," Oliver practically pleaded.
"Yeah, it better not be what we think it is," Joannie added more sternly.
Tears slipped down Lilly's face. "It's not… I got a tattoo, all right?"
"A tattoo?? Seriously?" The brunette boy's eyes scrunched together in confusion.
"Yes," Lilly said tightly. "And I'd appreciate it if we didn't talk about it right now. My Dad brought me in yesterday; that's all I'm going to tell you."
"Lilly, you need to talk to us. You're hurting right now and all we want to do is help." Joannie looked Lilly in the eye, almost shivering at the cold glare staring back at her. "Please, just let us in."
A flow of emotions overpowered Lilly. She wanted to cry, scream, yell, anything. "Fine! You want in?!" She held up her hand. "I got a tattoo of the heart Miley drew on my hand the day of the accident, before she left! And the reason I don't want to go in my room is because that's the last place where Miley and I…We…" The blonde's body started shaking before she completely crumbled. When Oliver tried to pull her into a hug, she pushed him away. "Don't!" she cried.
Ignoring her request, Oliver grabbed both of Lilly's shoulders to make her look at him. "You can't push me away, Lilly… Miley was one of my best friends, too, and I miss her like crazy. We need each other, okay?"
"You don't know what I need." Lilly's voice was hard and steady. "I'll do things when I'm darn well ready to."
With a sigh, Oliver dropped his arms to his sides. "All I'm trying to do is help you through this. You'll have to go into your room sooner or later. Have you even realized how worried your Mom and Dad are about you?"
"People should just leave me alone! Don't people get how much pain I'm in right now?! I didn't get to be there for her! They took me away!" Lilly fell back against the couch sobbing; burying her face in the pillow.
Joannie bit her bottom lip as she turned in the other direction. It was too painful to watch Lilly fall apart like this.
A single tear trickled down Oliver's face. "They had to, Lil," he croaked out. "Visiting hours were over, the nurse told us to move you…"
"That. Doesn't. Matter…" she growled.
Oliver sat next to Lilly and put a comforting hand on her back. "Tell me what I can do to help you, Lil. You're my best friend… I don't want to stand by and watch you waste away."
"I just want Miley back…" she answered softly through tears.
"I know…" Letting out a sigh, his gaze fell to the box on the floor. "Maybe that's why she wanted her Dad to give you that box… Maybe there's something in there that she felt would help you."
The rage and complete heart ache seemed to ease some at Oliver's words. With tear filled eyes, Lilly looked down at the box again, but this time with a different view on it. She shook her head. "I-I can't do th-this right now…"
"Sure you can, Lilly," Joannie encouraged warmly.
Shaky sobs rang out and Oliver quickly wrapped Lilly into his arms, trying not to cry himself. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you," he whispered to her. "But we're not going to let you go through this alone, ever. I promise."
"I-I just w-want to t-take a-a shower…" she mumbled into his shoulder. "That's all I w-want t-to do…"
"Okay, good… That's a great step, Lil." Then, Oliver helped Lilly to her feet. She was still shaking so he kept his arm wrapped around her tightly. Sensing that Lilly wasn't going to say much else, the trio slowly walked up the stairs towards Lilly's bathroom.
-----
Steam had filled the medium-sized room during Lilly's shower and, surprisingly to her, it helped her calm down slightly. Hot water soothed her skin and for the first time since the incident Lilly actually thought about going into her room. It made her queasy just thinking it but Oliver and Joannie were right- she had to sooner or later. Lilly shut the water off and just stood there for a couple of seconds to compose herself.
Grabbing a towel, the drenched blonde wrapped it around her heat-reddened body, letting her hair hang loose in wet tangles, and exited the bathroom. There was one thing she needed to get from downstairs before she could go into her bedroom.
Joannie turned when she noticed Lilly walking into the living room. "Hey… How was your shower?"
"Fine…" she deadpanned. Ignoring the looks given her way, Lilly bent down to grab the box while trying desperately to keep her towel from dropping. Oliver could tell she was getting easily frustrated and quickly stood up.
"Here, I'll get it for you," he offered.
"…Thanks…" Lilly took the box from her male best friend and sighed. "I'll…I'll be in my room, okay?"
"…Want me to come with you?" asked Oliver.
"No," Lilly hastily replied, holding a hand up to stop him. It seemed like no matter what she did now she'd just end up crying. "I-I need to d-do this myself…" Her voice cracked, making her wince.
"We'll be here if you need us." He offered her an encouraging smile, not expecting one in return- which he didn't get.
Nodding, Lilly climbed her way back up the stairs. Her heart hammered in her chest when she kept getting closer and closer to her room. It took everything she had to keep her mind focused on the warm, comfortable pajamas that would be waiting for her in there. With her eyes closed, Lilly pushed the door open. A tear slipped out from between her closed eyelids and before too long she re-opened them. Her room was exactly how she and Miley left it… If she didn't know any better, she could've sworn she felt her heart shatter, right there, into a million pieces. 'One step at a time…' she thought to herself. Opening her dresser drawer, Lilly dug out some pajamas and started to get dressed.
Some time later, after she brushed out her hair, Lilly took tentative steps over to her bed. Her arms and legs shook- tears welling up- when her eyes landed on the purple-clad pillow that lie next to hers. Miley's pillow. She wiped her eyes before setting the box down on her side of the bed; not wanting to disturb Miley's side. If Miley wanted her to have this box, then it must've been really important to the brunette. Lilly groaned to herself at her rapidly shaking hands that slowly started opening the box.
The first thing Lilly took notice of were a small stack of leather bound journals that seemed to have years written on the lower right hand corner of each of them. Next to the journals were a few small photo albums, random mementoes, and…and Lilly's charm bracelet… Long moments passed before she picked up the small object. Remembering the day she gave it to Miley hurt more than she could've imagined. Pressing it to her heart, eyes closed, Lilly sat on the floor against her bed to calm her racing heart. For a split second it felt like Miley was sitting right there next to her, comforting her, and Lilly cursed herself for opening her eyes to see the harsh truth. Although, she took notice of something on the floor near her that was halfway under her bed. Curiosity got to her and she reached out for the piece of folded paper to find her name written on the front in Miley's handwriting. "What the…?" she started while flipping it over and began to read—
Lilly,
Right now you're sleeping, and I can't help but admire you in your peaceful state. I'm captivated. Sleep won't overpower me at this moment because, not to sound cliché, I don't want to miss a single moment. Do you know how beautiful you are?
How much I simply love you?
You're everything I need. You're all I think about.
I do everything I can, every day, to show you how much you mean to me. Sometimes I feel as if I'm not doing enough. There really aren't enough words. But, deep down, I know you can feel it.
When you look in my eyes, everything else disappears. Nothing else matters.
Whenever you laugh, my heart skips several beats.
When you smile, I melt.
When you kiss me… I'm in Heaven.
I'm in pure bliss when we make love.
I plan on loving you forever. I can't live without you. I don't want to know the agony of such a life (without you).
I hope you take my words to heart, because I mean every single one of them.
Now I shall tuck this note next to you, kiss you goodnight, and fall asleep holding you in my arms. You're smiling right now and I can't contain myself any longer.
I love you so much, Lilly-bear.
-Love always, Miley
-Oct. 9, '09
Lilly hadn't noticed she was bawling until several teardrops dripped onto the bottom of the paper. Miley had written this for her on their last night together. The last night they had made love in Lilly's very own bed. So many memories flashed through her mind and she curled herself into her folded arms and bent up knees. "M-M-Miley…" she painfully sobbed out. "G-God, why?!"
The note drifted onto the floor while she cried over how everything in her life had been taken away from her so suddenly and she was now falling apart every single day. Life had no meaning without Miley. She knew she promised Miley she'd try to go on with life without her, but it wasn't that simple. Nothing was. But what was she supposed to do? She promised her something, and she never broke a promise to her beloved Miley.
Lilly suddenly felt suffocated. She needed to get out of there- out of the room that held so many last happy moments. On her hands and knees, she pushed herself up and harshly swung her door open.
Oliver darted after Lilly when she ran past him and Joannie in the living room, tears streaming down her face, towards the front door. "Lilly, hold up! What's wrong??" he panicked. His hands got hold of her right arm and pulled her back. She turned to face him and he froze for the second time that day.
"Everything!" she spat. Oliver didn't know what happened up there in her room, but her eyes held nothing but anguish and emptiness. Forcefully, she pulled herself out of his grasp, ripped the door open, and ran down the driveway. She didn't know where she was going; anywhere was better than being at her house right now.
Oliver, still frozen in place, stared in shock at his retreating best friend. All day long he looked at his friend and saw nothing but a wrecked girl. This time, though, was different. When she turned to him he didn't even recognize Lilly. That was when he realized that he not only lost Miley, but he lost Lilly as well. There was nothing left of her at all. Lilly Truscott was gone, leaving behind an empty shell that was once her in a previous time. He couldn't stop the tears as he slowly shut the door…
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"There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
I keep holding onto you
But I can't bring you back to life
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye"
("Anthem of the Angels"- Breaking Benjamin):( I know this is depressing, but stick with me... Please? lol I know a lot of you still like it and I have to thank you for it. It means a lot. I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can, along with my other story. I'll most likely talk about the Emily concert on that one too, so yea :) Thanks again and please drop in your thoughts. Reviews make me happy :)