Chapter 10

Excitement and anticipation could both be felt in the air that Halloween morning. From the first years looking forward to their first time, to the seventh years waiting to enjoy their last, everyone was looking forward to the feast that night, with one notable exception. For Harry, Halloween had never been a day of fun and enjoyment; it had always been a day of loss and remembrance.

"You okay, Harry?" Hermione asked as she watched him slowly pick at his food. Harry shrugged.

"About as okay as I usually am today," he said before pushing his plate away. He wasn't all that hungry.

Hermione gave him a sympathetic smile before turning back to her own food. She knew today was always hard on Harry and his family, but she knew not to push him to talk about it. The best she could do was be there for him. If he wanted to talk, he would.

When she heard the chairs across the table from them being pulled out, she looked up to see Ron and Neville sitting down.

"So the two of you looking forward to the Halloween feast tonight?" Ron asked as he loaded his plate with food.

"Not really," Harry said.

"What? Why not? The twins tell me that there is going to be giant pumpkins and bats flying about and all sorts of good food," Ron explained.

"I'm going home to be with my family," Harry explained, "I probably won't be back until after the feast is over."

"Huh? Why?" Ron asked.

"We're going to visit my dad," Harry said simply.

Ron opened and closed his mouth before nodding in understanding. After all, he had gone with his mum to visit his uncles enough to know what he was talking about.

"That is today, isn't?" Neville stated, "When are you leaving?"

"After lunch," Harry explained, "I'm supposed to meet Professor McGonagall near the front entrance."

Neville nodded before returning to his breakfast. Harry looked back at Ron, noticing that he seemed a bit more subdued then he was before. He frowned. Just because he wasn't excited about the feast didn't mean his friends couldn't be.

"So Ron," he said, catching the redhead's attention, "What else have the twins told you about the feast?"

0o0o0o0

The rest of the morning past quickly for Harry, and it wasn't long before he was standing outside the Great Hall saying his good-byes.

"Give Alex and your Mum my best," Hermione said as she released him from a hug, "Tell them I'll be thinking about them."

"Always," Harry said, "And I expect to have a full report about the feast when I get back."

"I'll save you a peace of pie or something," Neville said, "That is if Ron doesn't eat it all."

"Oi!" Ron complained, "I don't eat everything I see in front of me."

Harry smiled slightly and shook head before stepping over to where Professor McGonagall was standing. He nodded telling her that he was ready to go. Waving one last time to his friends, Harry stepped outside.

"Thank you for doing this, Professor," Harry said as they made their way to the front gate.

"It's the least I could do Harry," Professor McGonagall said, "Your father was a good man, and it's been sometime since I last paid my respects."

Harry nodded and the two made the rest of the way to the gates in silence. Once past the wards, Professor McGonagall put her arm around Harry's shoulder and together they apparated to the secluded spot in his back yard. As they waited for the gate leading further into the yard to open, Harry still had to marvel at the ingenuity of it all.

Physically, it was just a small pathway situated behind the storage shed in his back yard. Any noisy neighbor would think that anyone walking from here was coming from the wooded area behind the house. Magically, it was, according to his Uncle Remus, a thing of beauty.

It had been designed by his mum, with the help of Remus and Augusta Longbottom, Neville's grandmother. Anyone attempting to apparate onto Harry's family's property, other than members of the Potter family, was magically funneled to this spot, which can easily be seen from the kitchen window. If it was somebody welcomed, the gate leading into the yard could be opened by himself, his mum, or his sister. If they weren't welcome, or nobody was home, the gate leading into the woods would be opened. Also, if anyone tried to force the inner gate open, they would be stunned and sent by portkey to one of about twenty locations picked randomly.

The inner gate opened quickly, allowing Harry and Professor McGonagall into the yard. He made his way toward the backdoor, only to find his sister waiting for him there. After a quick hug and greeting, Harry made introductions.

"Alex, this is Professor McGonagall, Transfigurations teacher, Head of Gryffindor House, and Deputy Headmistress at Hogwarts," Harry said, "Professor, this is my sister Alex."

"Hello, Alex," Professor McGonagall said, shaking Alex's offered hand "Are you looking forward to starting at Hogwarts in the next few years?"

"Very much so, Professor," Alex said.

"Is Remus here?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," Alex answered, "he and Mrs. Weasley are inside with mum."

"Mrs. Weasley?" Harry wondered, "Why is she here?"

"She overheard me tell Ginny why I couldn't spend time with her today," she explained, "After that she decided she was coming over this morning and wasn't going to take no for an answer."

Harry nodded. From what he had heard about her from Ron, that sounded like the exact thing Mrs. Weasley would do.

"How's Mum?" Harry asked, though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"About how she usually is," Alex answered, "Both Remus and Mrs. Weasley are trying to help, but…"

Harry sighed, before turning toward Professor McGonagall to explain.

"Today is one the few days in the year that my mum becomes the most melancholy and inconsolable, apart from my dad's birthday. She tries not to let it upset her, but it takes even less today than usual to set her off."

"Well, your father did mean a great deal to her," Professor McGonagall stated.

"We know that, Professor," Alex said, "and truthfully some years are better than others. But it's hard for us to see our mum like this. She's usually so calm and level headed."

"We just… feel so helpless today," Harry added.

"As do we all," said someone from behind them. Both Harry and Alex turned to see Remus standing in the back door, "But the best we all can do is be there for her."

Harry quickly stepped over, giving Remus a hug, one that was quickly returned.

"Good to see you again, cub," Remus said as he let him go, "you, too, Professor."

"I stopped being your professor some time ago, Remus," Professor McGonagall pointed out.

"Old habits die hard, I guess," Remus said with a small, though somewhat forced smile, before ushering them into the house.

As Harry entered the house, he felt both a sense of oddness and comfort. It felt odd to think that he hadn't set foot in here in almost two months, a place he had spent nearly ten years living. But at the same time, he was comforted by the familiarity of his surroundings. It was that comfort he tried to grasp onto as he stepped into the sitting room.

The sight was just as he figured it would be, but it still tore at his heart all the same. Sitting on the sofa, her head resting on the shoulder of Mrs. Weasley, a pillow wrapped in her arms and tears stains on her face, was his mum. She looked up at him as he entered, giving him a sad little smile, and that was it. Feeling the tears coming to his own eyes, he was at his mum's side in an instant. No words were passed between mother and son, but neither were they needed.

Sometime later, Harry wasn't even sure how much time had pasted, he felt his mum pull away. He looked up, seeing her giving him another sad little smile.

"It's time to go."

0o0o0o0

No one paid any heed to the small group of people making their way through the main square of Godric's Hallow. Even dress as oddly as some of them were, they blended right in with the crowd around them. Harry guessed, in some small sense, he was thankful that today was Halloween; it meant fewer questions were asked when a group of people, some dress in wizard/ witches robes walked into the cemetery

After a quick Notice-Me-Not spell to insure their privacy, everyone stepped through the gate and into the graveyard beyond. Slowly, as they made there way toward his father's grave, Harry moved away from the others and wondered over to an elegant, though worn, gravestone. Removing two flowers from the handful he had for his father, he placed them before the grave of a mother and daughter who died only a few months apart. Harry had wondered, when he had first found the gravestone a few years ago, what sort of tragedy had befallen the family, but with the surname unreadable due to age, it would be nearly impossible to find out. Since then however, Harry had taken it upon himself to leave a small token in their honor.

His first stop completed, Harry continued after the others. As he approached, he noticed that Mrs. Weasley in front of his father's grave, paying her respect. He assumed that Professor McGonagall had gone first, due to the fact that she was nowhere to be seen and had to return to Hogwarts before the Halloween Feast began. After Mrs. Weasley, he knew that it would be Alex, himself, then Remus. His mum always went last.

Soon, it was his turn.

"Hey dad," Harry began as he set the flowers down, "So I started at Hogwarts this year. Got sorted into Gryffindor, just like you and Mum. Oh, and remember my Muggle friend I told you about? Turns out she was a witch. Got sorted into Gryffindor as well, though she could have just as easily been sorted into Ravenclaw as brilliant as she is. Only been in school two months and she's already top in almost every class, the only exception being Herbology, though she comes in a close second after Neville. That boy knows his plants. I think I'm somewhere in the middle of the pack, but I've never really paid all that much attention as to how I'm doing in class. Made a new friend as well, you met his Mum earlier, and I'm sure Alex mentioned his little sister to you as well. He has these twin brothers that I'm sure you would have loved to meet. Oh! I forgot to mention, I also somehow got onto the house team this year, youngest to do it in a century. I play Seeker. First game is this weekend against Slytherin."

He reached out and touched his father's name.

"I wish you could see me play," Harry whispered, "I wish I could know if you'd be… be proud of me."

Harry dropped his hand away and stood up, moving away to allow Remus a chance to talk to his friend. He only stood around for a few minutes before he turned to leave. The cemetery had suddenly become very oppressive.

0o0o0o0

Harry didn't bother to read the sign that had seemingly grown out of the ground if front of him, he knew what it said by heart:

On this spot, on the night of the 31 October 1980, James Potter lost his life protecting what he held most dear. His son, Harry, remains the only wizard ever to have survived the Killing Curse. This house, invisible to Muggles, had been left in its ruined state as a monument to his sacrifice, and a reminder of the violence that took his life.

Instead, Harry gaze fell upon the cottage just beyond. Dark ivy covered it near completely, and the surrounding hedges and grasses had grown out of control in the eleven years since anyone had lived here. Rubble was still strewn about the yard where it had landed from where it had been blasted out of the right side of the top floor. There, Harry knew, was where both his life and his mums had changed forever.

Faintly he heard the sound of approaching footsteps, so he turned his head to find Remus walking up toward him. Harry turned back to stare at the cottage.

"Thought I'd find you here, cub," Remus said as he leaned against the small fence next to Harry. Harry grunted in response, but said no more.

Remus just stayed where he was and waited. He knew the cub well enough that he only came here when he had something on his mind; he also knew that he couldn't push Harry to talk about what was bothering him. The best course of action was to just wait and see if he would say anything.

"Moony," Harry started after a few minutes, "do you… do you think Dad would have been proud of me?"

"Without a doubt," Remus said without hesitation; not all that surprised with the question. He had had a feeling that's what this was about.

"Really?" Harry asked as he turned to Remus, and the older man could detect a bit hope in the boy's voice.

"Absolutely," Remus assured, "To be honest, I don't think proud would do James justice for how he felt about you. He was so ecstatic when he found out Lily was pregnant, I couldn't even being to describe it to you. I remember your mother was barely two months along, and already he and Padfoot had lists of ideas of what they would be teaching you when you where born. It drove Lils spar."

Harry smiled at Remus' description, only for his smile to falter at the mention of his father's best friend.

"Remus, do you think I'll ever be able to meet my godfather?"

Remus sighed, "I don't know, Harry. Without evidence to prove otherwise, there's little we can do."

"But he didn't even get a trial!" Harry exclaimed.

"I know Harry," Remus said, "And if it wasn't for your mother, everyone would still believe he's You-Know-Who's right hand man. But even if he was cleared of betraying your parents, there's still the murder of thirteen Muggles on his head. That alone warrants a sentence to Azkaban."

"But he didn't kill them," Harry said, "Right?"

"I'd like to think he didn't," Remus agreed, "but other than Sirius himself, whom I doubt the ministry would listen to unfortunately, only one person knows the truth."

"Peter Pettigrew," answered Harry. Remus nodded, "So you think he's still alive?"

"I hope so, though after eleven years, I'm starting to wonder," Remus said with a shake of his head, "but even so, I'm not giving up."

"Is that why you missed my birthday this year?" Harry asked, "You where looking for Pettigrew?"

"I didn't want to, cub, I really didn't," Remus answered regretfully, "But I had a lead over in Romanian that seemed promising. Turned out to be rubbish, unfortunately."

"That's okay, Moony," Harry said as he turned back toward his families old cottage, "I think the best gift you could ever give me is my godfather back."

0o0o0o0

A few hours later, Harry stepped out of the Floo into a very crowded, very noisy common room. Once he recovered from his surprise, Harry made his way through the crowd in an attempt to find his friends. Several minutes later, he finally found Neville, Ron, and Hermione tucked away in the back corner.

"Harry! Looks like you made it back for the feast after all," Ron said as he handed him a plate full of food, "Here, tuck in."

Harry looked down at the plate and then back up to his friends.

"What's going on? Why is everyone in here? Where did the food come from?" He asked, still slightly shocked at his surroundings.

"We'll explain in the morning," Neville said as he waved off Harry's questions, "Right now just sit back and enjoy."

Still a bit bewildered, Harry took his friend's advice and sat down in the seat next to Hermione. As he crawled into bed several hours later, full of food and feeling the best he had all day, two thoughts were drifting around his head as he drifted off to sleep. In the back of his mind, he was curious about the explanation. Harry was fairly certain he had heard the word 'troll' more than once over the course of the evening. But foremost on his mind was that perhaps, at least in part, he could look forward to Halloween in the future.