Emergency Procedures
By Clair
Edited by Morty
Re-edited by Clair
…
Emergencies will happen and we must always be prepared ahead of time. Here are the emergency plans and some easy preparation. Is it as easy as you are? Shut up, Morty. I only slept with you because I was drunk.
Fire
Have a fire extinguisher and smoke alarms in you gym. You see those checks Lance gives you every year? Well, those are not your bonuses, those are your emergency budgets. I spent mine on a PSP! I can't believe that you are considered an adult.
If there ever is a fire in you gym, spray it with your fire extinguisher and get the hell out of there! Don't change you Facebook status or Tweet about it until after you are safe. Yeah, you lame-brain teenagers! That was directed at you.
Medical emergencies
Always have all of your medications on hand and make sure that at least one person in any group that you are in knows about your condition.
If you start to feel faint or show any symptoms of your medical condition, if you actually have one, tell someone smart, Like me, not like Morty, and ask them what the best course of action would be.
Robbery
Make sure to keep all doors and windows locked and don't do that key under the mat stuff. I bet that's how those fangirls got in and crashed our game competition last month. Yeah, you need some friends your own age.
If a burglar gets into your house, get out and call 911. If they are blocking the exits, text 911. But make sure autocorrect doesn't change burglar to burger. You should disable that feature.
Well, that wraps up this section, for all other emergencies call 911. You forgot zombie apocalypses. Morty, I doubt there will be any zombie outbreaks besides Beiber Fever. Honestly, you watchtoo much Walking Dead.