Beyond Secrets and Lies
Chapter 10: Rules on Starting Over
It's been seven hours since Sarah's contact with Chuck and he was supposed to be there an hour ago, but he was nowhere to be found yet. From time to time, she glanced outside her office, checking if he has arrived. However there was still no sign of him. Sarah's starting to worry and has been hesitating if she should call him. She doesn't want to sound desperate, but she's worried that something could have happened to Chuck. She was supposed to press call, but a knock came on her office door. She paused and her heart seems to stop beating for a second there.
"Come in." she said.
Chuck entered the room with a sly smile on his face. "Sorry, I got stuck in traffic. I thought you might be hungry, so I passed by the pastry shop downstairs. Here, some chocolate croissant. I know you love them." Chuck gave her the croissant and gave her a really big grin.
Sarah smiled a shy smile. "Thanks. You may sit down. We've got a lot of things to talk about.."
"Oh okay." Chuck sat down at the chair in front of her table. He started to look serious and he tried to reach Sarah's hands. "Sarah..."
"Chu-Charles, please stop." the truth is she wanted to feel the warmth of his touch, but she also needed to be cautious. She needed to be in control of her emotions to work this out. "I don't want to talk about what happened. I have some set of rules for you to follow, so we can peacefully coexist here.."
Chuck looked down feeling dejected, but when he looked back at her he tried to smile. "Okay. I'll do my best to follow those rules."
"Thanks. First, we need to forget everything that happened for the last few weeks."
"Why what happened?" Chuck joked. Sarah gave him a small smile in return.
"Next, since the last few weeks are forgotten, we should act professionally.." as much as possible..Sarah thought. "Therefore, we are only to talk about work and not about our personal lives.." unless I am already to talk about my feelings to you.
Chuck raised his hand and Sarah nodded. "The no talking about personal lives thing? Is it applicable after working hours?"
I hope not. "Yes." Sarah lied. She saw the dejected Chuck and sighed. "unless, I initiated it."
Chuck just nodded in agreement even though he really wanted to talk to her about his feelings.
"Okay, the third rule is you are to remain at arm's length of distance from me." because I might not be able to control myself on acting professional if you're too close.
Chuck was confused at first but smirked after he realized what could happen when they don't maintain an arm length distance.
"Finally, during office hours, you are to stay at my sight at all times, with the exception of bathroom breaks and other valid reasons."
Chuck smiled. "Of course, it's part of my job description anyway, to be extra close to you.."
"Okay, that would be all. You may leave now."
Chuck nodded and left his chair, but before he was able to reach the door, he turned back to Sarah and asked. "Miss Walker, can we have dinner tonight? You know, so we can talk about work stuffs?" Chuck lied.
Sarah raised an eyebrow. "What work stuffs?"
"You know, since I have been away for a long time, I was wondering if we can talk about the things I missed." like you..
Sarah thought about what he said and nodded. "Okay."
Chuck gave a big grin then looked at his watch. "Okay, since it's 5:30 already, dinner date.." Chuck cleared his throat. "Dinner work date at 8? I'll pick you up at your loft?"
Sarah fighting the urge to smile when heard the word "date" just nodded.
Chuck left the office premises to rush things for their work date. He needed to make a plan to make things special even if he is limited to talking about work stuffs.
At around 6, Sarah hurriedly left her office and went to her loft. She tried to look good even if she knew that this is not an official date. She wore a black tube dress under her blazer. She also fixed some paper works that she needed to discuss with Chuck and she also prepared her laptop. She wanted to make sure that they'll be occupied with things to talk about during the night. She wasn't ready to talk about anything else.
At exactly 8 in the evening Sarah heard the doorbell rang, she asked the maid to open it. Chuck was wearing a worn out jeans, a maroon button up shirt and of course, his converse-all star chucks. He brought with him a bouquet of gardenias. Sarah went down the stairs with her laptop bag. Chuck hurriedly walked towards her to help her with the laptop bag.
"Let me carry that, and here some flowers." Chuck grinned.
"Charles, I thought we've discussed we're going to be strictly professional towards each other?"
"I know, but I just felt like bringing you flowers, and besides its a gentleman thing to do." Chuck tried to reason out.
Sarah sighed in defeat. "Fine. Thank you, I guess." she smiled slyly.
"You're welcome." He grinned. "And can you please call me Chuck?" Sarah was supposed to say something but Chuck stopped her. "I know, I know, act professionally, but please, I don't like the name Charles and I prefer Chuck.."
"Then why did you introduce yourself as Charles?"
Chuck sighed. "I thought we're going to forget about the past weeks? Please? It's just a small favor." Chuck pleaded with his a puppy dog eyes.
"Fine!" Sarah acted a little annoyed. She was. Damn you Chuck Bartowski! How can I say no to those eyes?
He gave her a goofy grin and led her to the door. "Shall we?" Sarah nodded.
Chuck lead her to his sister's car and opened the door for her then skipped his way on the driver's side. He got in and turned to her. "Sorry, I know you're used to your Porsche, but this is all what I have."
"It's okay. Let's go?" Sarah smiled.
He nodded and brought her to a small Chinese restaurant downtown.
"Good afternoon Mr Bartowski and Ms Walker. Your table's this way." the waiter winked at Chuck. and he mouthed Thank you. in return.
They were lead into a private room. Sarah gave Chuck a confused room and he only got a sheepish smile in reply. When they entered the room, Sarah was stunned. There was a table for two in the middle of the room, but it is surrounded by flowers and there is a pathway of candles. The must be a speaker somewhere because she could hear a romantic music in the background. There was also a bottle of white wine and a platter of dim sum and a plate of noodles on the table. She looked back at Chuck, who has a big smile on his face.
"What? I just want my boss to be properly treated." He tried to cover up again but it didn't work this time since Sarah shot him a glare. "Okay okay. I'm sorry." Chuck looked at his feet uncomfortably. "I know this is against our rules, but please. I just need to do this. You don't have to do or say anything, I just need you to be here, with me…and enjoy the rest of the night.. After tonight if you don't change your mind on the rules or on anything else. I will act professionally as soon as I wake up tomorrow morning. I promise. Please?"
Sarah took a deep breath and thought about it. But as she looked at his eyes, she sighed at his puppy dog eyes again. "Fine." it's just one night. Nothing can happen in a night anyway. Or that's what she thought.
At first Chuck was doing all the talking, he was like talking to a wall. He talked about their missing years. But as the night deepens, Sarah's starting to smile, giggle, and replied. Their topics were usually about other people or about their past experiences. They didn't talk about themselves. Chuck was scared that he might ruin the night, while Sarah's waiting for him to initiate.
After dinner, they strolled at the park nearby. They both sat at the swing and they were silent. Sarah was busy playing her feet with the sand, while Chuck was trying to get some courage to start the conversation about his feelings for her.
"Sarah?" Chuck finally called.
"Mmmn?"
"Thank you."
Sarah looked at him. "For what?"
Chuck stood up then squatted in front of her. "Thank you for giving me this chance." Chuck reached for her hands.
"Chuck..."
"Sarah, I love you..." Chuck confessed almost inaudibly.
Sarah was taken aback by his confession. She removed her hands from his. She was shocked.
Chuck took the gesture as a negative thing. "I'm sorry.. I know its rash of me to say you that. and I know you don't trust me for what I have done. But please, let me make things right. I love you Sarah Walker and I will do everything to prove it to you.. If you just allow me.."
"I- I can't.." the scared Sarah has overtaken her. It was too sudden that she wasn't able to think straight. She has loss of words. (?)
Chuck looked down dejectedly. He took a deep breath, stood up and looked at his watch. "Okay, it's getting late, I guess I should take you home Miss Walker."
She noticed the change of Chuck's attitude. She looked at his eyes and only saw pain and hurt. She already miss the loving eyes of his. Damn this is a mess! "Chuck-"
"You can call me Charles again Maam." He interrupted.
"Chuck please, what are you doing?"
"I'm acting professional Maam. This is what you wanted right? I'm just following your rules." he said coldly and started walking towards Ellie's car.
Sarah sighed dejectedly. Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes and her heart is suddenly hurting. I don't want to deal with this Chuck. I need my Chuck. I love my Chuck. I'm in love with Chuck. I guess it's now or never. She hurried her way to catch up with Chuck. "Chuck- please. Stop."
Chuck turned around and sighed. "What do you want Maam?"
"Please stop acting like that. I- I don't want you to be acting that cold towards me."
"You are getting me confused Maam. First you wanted me acting professionally, and now you don't want me acting like this. What the hell do you want Sarah?" Chuck said almost yelling. He was beyond pissed. He was getting mixed signals from her and he didn't like it. He knew he might have deserved the rejection, but he thought it was inhuman to make people hopeful if there was no hope at all.
She cannot believe that Chuck just raised his voice at her. She was speechless at this Chuck and she doesn't like it. Tears suddenly started falling from her eyes.
Chuck noticed that she's already crying, so he sighed and approached her. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. Her sobs started to be louder. "I'm sorry Sarah.. I didn't mean to raise my voice. I know I deserved being rejected and I don't deserve your love for everything. But I just can't act like the real Chuck without feeling bitter about it. I love you Sarah and I want you happy. I thought I could handle seeing you and expect nothing from it. But my feelings are too strong for me to handle, I guess going back here is a bad idea." he sighed again.
"No" Sarah blurted out. Sarah released herself from the hug and looked at him. "Please don't leave me. I- I need you. I, I lo-care for you Chuck, a lot. That's why I don't want you acting cold towards me. It's just.. I'm not ready.. for anything yet. You really hurt me then.. That's why I need you to act professionally. I need you to be patient with me.. Please don't leave..."
Chuck kissed her temple, and then he looked straight at her eyes. "I won't. I'm sorry...for everything.."
They sat down at one of the benches and cuddles for hours before Chuck brought Sarah to her loft. They weren't able to sleep that night thinking how wonderful their night has been and how it changed everything between them. Things seem clearer and they both can't wait to see each other again.
A/N : I'm still working on the next chapter, if you have comments/suggestions please free to put it in the review. Thanks! I'll try to update within the week. :] More Chuck and Sarah moments on the next chapter, and maybe some preview of Shaw and Jill's evil plan. :] Anyways, hope you enjoyed this crazy chapter.