Love, Lettuce and Locke's Single Malt
Disclaimer: Very much not JKR. Praise her.
Lily comes to work at Peter's restaurant, Herbology, under the enigmatic head chef Remus Lupin. A tale of Love, Lettuce and Locke's Single Malt. RLxSB JpxLE
This one's for xXxGinnyxXx
(-)
"Sooo..."
"Yeah."
"How did you even crash?"
"Some bloke on his phone pulled out in front of us on a road-about. James tried to swerve to avoid hitting him."
Remus and Sirius lay side by side on their lumpy mattress, facing each other, with a heavy tartan blanket arranged over their undressed bodies.
"You do realise that you're never getting into a car with Potter ever again, right?"
"Agreed," murmured Remus, tapping his partner's nose with his right index finger.
"Glad to hear it," said Sirius, shifting his head so that Remus would stroke his hair.
"Poor, demanding puppy," Remus remarked, quietly, as his fingers slid through the silky blackness of Sirius's hair.
Sirius's mushroom soup eyes were softly closed in contentment, and his lips fluttered open in a silent plea for more.
Remus pressed a kiss to the parted lips, his hands still tangled in Sirius's hair, and smiled softly at the surprised look on his partner's face.
"Hello," said Sirius.
"Hello, darling." Remus nuzzled Sirius's ear with his nose, savouring the memory of the tiny shiver that Sirius did at their closeness.
Sirius grumbled, flipping them over so that he could be on top of Remus. He attacked his lips with ferocity. "You-" Kiss. "-taste-" Kiss. "-fucking-" Kiss. "-delicious."
"But of course." Remus nipped Sirius's earlobe between his teeth, earning a sharp yelp and a distraction to switch their positions again.
"Ponce," Sirius muttered, without malice. He presented his face for another kiss, and was obliged. Their kiss became rougher as their tongues fought; alternating between sloppy wetness and nipping bites. "Rem..." His fine-boned fingers trailed lazily down the well-cut curve of his boyfriend's back, gliding over the ink that he himself had etched into the hard, warm skin. On his right shoulder blade; a pair of ruby lips and a paw-print with the word 'happiness' woven around them.
"Shh..." Remus's tongue found his earlobe, teasing the tiny hoop earring that dangled there.
"Careful..." Sirius whispered softly, as teeth tugged on it gently.
Remus gave a breathless laugh, and his tongue replaced his teeth once more, tracing over the warm metal.
Sirius whimpered, and buried his face in Remus's shoulder, writhing up against the toffee-haired man. "Hurry up."
Remus chuckled airily into Sirius's hair, but reached onto their bedside table, pulling out a condom and a bottle of lubricant. After coating his fingers liberally, he got to work preparing his boyfriend carefully. "OK?" he murmured, after a while.
"Mm." Sirius's breath was hot and impatient against the side of Remus's face. "More."
Another finger was added, stretching and caressing.
"Siri?" Remus said, his voice almost a plea.
Sirius simply kissed him in response, and ended up moaning into Remus's mouth as he was entered gently.
"How you doing, puppy?" Remus murmured into his boyfriend's ear, stilling all movement.
To answer, Sirius merely tried to fuck himself against Remus, who laughed, and began a tentative pace, which grew steadily harder, faster, until Sirius was moaning and jerking delightfully every time that Remus skilfully hit his prostate.
After no time at all, Remus's frantic, almost desperate pace had reached its peak, and he was slowly withdrawing; spent and satisfied, while Sirius groaned at the feeling of being empty once more. Remus drank in all of his partner's complaints with a kiss so sloppy that it was almost undignified.
After they had both recovered their breath, Sirius mumbled something into Remus's warm shoulder.
"Hmm?"
"I said, I'm sticky." Sirius's tone was grumpy, as though he hadn't expected this to happen.
"Bath-time, puppy?"
"Are you joining me?"
Remus considered. "No. But I'll keep you company."
Sirius wrinkled his nose, but relented and stood up on shaky legs.
"Careful, you ponce," Remus muttered, as Sirius accidentally stumbled over his toes.
"Not a bad effort, Lupin," remarked Sirius, hanging onto the walls as he cautiously made his way to their tiny bathroom.
"Why, thank you," said Remus, dryly, lighting a cigarette before standing up.
Sirius set the taps running, filling the bath tub with steaming hot water.
Remus sat down on the floor, leaning back against the side of the tub, smoking.
"You know," Sirius mused, easing himself into the water, "water looks blue, but it's not." He stole Remus's cigarette, and took a deep drag from it.
Remus lit another, set it on his lip, and shuffled over to the bathroom cabinet. He opened the door, and pulled out a tiny packet of blue powder. He exhaled smoke into the steamy air, and sprinkled the powder into the bath water, marvelling at the way the droplets dissolved into dancing streamers, and then expanded into clouds as the water stained.
"Hey, the water's blue," said Sirius, exhaling earthy-smelling smoke.
"No shit," replied Remus, but smiled softly all the same.
"Do you think Lily will warm to Jamie?" Sirius asked, sinking deeper into the water.
"In time, perhaps," said Remus, "so long as he keeps his arrogance in check."
"Chances of that?"
"Piss-shit."
Sirius just laughed.
Their buzzer sounded, echoing through the flat.
"Ignore it," said Sirius.
"I was planning to," Remus assured him, taking another drag.
The buzzer went off again, more impatient this time.
"Oh," said Remus, an idea coming to him, "it might be-"
BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BU-
Remus ran for the door, pulling on a pair of Sirius's paw-printed boxers on on his way, and answered the buzzer. "Yes?"
"REM, let me up, I have BRILLIANT news!"
Remus let James in.
"Who is it?" Sirius demanded, from the bath.
"James," Remus called back.
"Eurgh. I'll stay put."
Remus located a t-shirt proclaiming: 'Awwwooooooooo werewolves of London' and tugged it on, without burning a hole in it.
James burst in, his face stretched out in a clown-like grin. "Remus, my friend, my man, my pack-mate, you have brought the most wonderful woman into my world. I am forever in your debt, my good fellow!" And then James Potter hugged Remus Lupin. And picked him up. And spun him around.
Sirius threw a rubber duck at his traitorous bespectacled best friend.
It bounced neatly off his skull.
"It went well with Lily, I take it," said Remus, thankful to have returned to ground level.
"Oh, yes. We have a date tonight. She thought the way I took you to hospital was very mature and sensible."
"Brilliant. I should break my nose more often." Smoke streamed from Remus's nostrils, giving him a slightly dragon-like appearance.
James stopped beaming momentarily, taking in Remus's slightly dishevelled appearance. "You look... ruffled, Remus Lupin. And you're wearing Sirius's clothes. And Sirius is oddly absent. And this whole flat stinks of sex."
Remus shrugged, and stubbed out his cigarette into a nearby ashtray. "Tea?"
"I was thinking more... champagne."
"Then buy some of your own." Remus stomped off into the kitchen area to put the kettle on.
James weighed up his options for a moment. "Back in five. And you'd better buzz me up."
"Sure."
James left the flat.
Remus found two mugs, and deposited a teabag into each. The water boiled, and he poured it in almost to the brim, before hooking the bags out with his thumb and index finger, and disposing of them. He carried the mugs back to the bathroom, where Sirius was examining his toenails with reserved interest.
"Who did you think it was?" Sirius asked, taking his mug of tea.
"Hmm?"
"At the door? You looked almost worried."
"Oh." Remus closed the toilet seat, and perched on it with his mug clasped in his hands. "We... that's to say, James and I, we saw your brother on our travels. I told him to visit if he wanted to."
Sirius blinked, obviously surprised. "Oh. Reg. OK."
"He seemed... a little deep."
Sirius closed his eyes. "Was he alright?"
"He's surviving."
"Better looking than me?"
"You're a very vain puppy."
"Well?" Sirius demanded.
"Girlier than you. Not an extra ounce on him."
"Explain."
"Neat little waist. Slim. Sharply dressed." Remus considered. "Not a bad rear."
"Are you perving on my baby brother, Lupin?" Sirius asked, indignantly, from the bath tub.
"Only a little."
Sirius turned sombre again. "Will he visit?"
"If he gets into trouble," said Remus. "If we don't see him, it's good."
"An odd spin, but I get you." Sirius sighed deeply. "Couldn't you have dragged him home with you?"
"He's not a puppy, puppy."
"I know; he's a kitten. Scratchy yet adorable. Wanker."
Remus took another sip of tea. "He'll be fine, Siri. Now, get some trousers on. I can't survive another James-hug."
(-)
Thanks to everyone who's reviewed the last chapter! XxxGinnyxXx, Jael McHale, iblamethesea, Raven-of-the-forests, owl-eats-waffles, xXxRizYxXx, Sparkling Soul, anon, Snowflake, TechNomaNcer28, mizzi, yHime, AsinisterQuest, Kimmimaru and Sweet Lily Potter. You're all gorgeous and wonderful!
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