There was one thing that Poppy hated on principal, (okay, so there were several but this was definitely the worst of the lot) and that just so happened to be people who thought they knew everything. And when it came to egotists, Gilderoy Lockhart took the cake.

The man had barely been working at Hogwarts for a month, and already Poppy felt the need to slap him upside the head every time he opened his mouth. It was always about his 'great feats of magic and bravery' when it came to him, and the greying medi-witch couldn't help the sinking impression that his 'feats' were nowhere near as great as he made them out to be. She had, in fact, read one of his novels, only to be shocked at the utter display of idiocy that it had portrayed. Yes, the way he claimed to have dealt with the 'monsters' seemed reasonable enough, but for a man who claimed such greatness to not understand that werewolves were people as well was, well rather unsettling. He did seem... a tad air-headed, but that was just ridiculous. Poppy shook her head and turned back to the injured student before her. And just how was the student injured? Poppy thought viciously, It was that utter braggart, Lockhart's fault!

"Honestly," Poppy muttered under her breath, "Cornish pixies in a first year defence class?" She looked down at Neville in resignation as she tapped her wand on the pin-prick bites covering his pudgy form. Hung from the rafters by pixies! The poor child, he always did seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Rocking back on her heels, the ageing medi-witch sighed, running a hand through her hair. What insanity had possessed Dumbledore let the man teach? Did he want to drive her mad? Poppy took one last look at Neville (He looked rather shaken), gave him a half dose of calming draught, and sent him back to the Gryffindor common room for rest. Perhaps spending more time with his house-mates would do the boy some good.

She must speak with Professor Dumbledore about getting rid of Lockhart. Maybe he would finally take her advice and hire Remus.

X

Less than half an hour later, Percy Weasley came running into the hospital wing, red-faced and frantic.

"Madame, Madame Pomfrey!" he called, looking around wildly, "Professor Lockhart's taking our class on a banshee hunt in the forbidden forest!" Poppy jolted from her chair, where she sat basking in the sun with a thin paper-back. She looked up at the prefect in alarm, closing the book with a snap.

"A banshee hunt?" she asked softly, "In the forest?" Were there even banshees in the forest? Poppy wasn't completely sure on that point. But there were those nasty spider things. She shuddered, thinking back to when James had returned from a full moon run with the others, covered in scratches courtesy of the Acromantulas.

Percy nodded frantically, "Yes! He's heading down now. Please, you have to stop him, he'll get us killed." Well, killed was a little extreme, but with Lockhart, you never did know.

"Well," Poppy said quietly, pulling herself out of the plush pink chair, "that won't do now will it?"

Percy lead her swiftly out of the warm castle. They rushed past busy classrooms, earning a look of disapproval from Professor Binns as they disrupted his lesson on the goblin wars. They soon burst out of the back door, which lead to the forbidden forest, the warm spring breezes tossing their hair. The pair stopped briefly at Hagrid's hut and then continued out into the forest. Thankfully the class had left a distinct trail through the woods. Branches were snapped and rubbish was strewn about. Poppy would have to ask for some of the house elves to come out later and clean up, the centaurs wouldn't take very kindly to their woods being dishonoured.

Soon catching sight of the class, Poppy motioned for Percy to be quiet. The pair snuck up into the throng of awe-struck students. Poppy could just make out Lockhart's speech.

"Now, my dear students! It is well-known that there are many dangerous creatures out and about in the forest. Werewolves and banshees are just a few. As you may know, in my critically acclaimed book, Break With a Banshee, I defeated these loathsome creatures." Several 'oohs' and 'ahhs' coursed through the female students and one or two groans from the boys. Poppy stifled a giggle, and turned to Percy, telling him to wait where he was.

Setting her shoulders, Poppy began to push through the students, several giving annoyed huffs, until she could just make out the back of the man's blonde head. Tapping him on the shoulder, she forced a smile.

"Professor, you are aware that bringing students into the forbidden forest in not permitted." Lockhart spun around to face her with a hearty grin on his face, "Poppy, dear! But they are with me, no need to worry!" Poppy grit her teeth, Lockhart could eat Merlin's hat and it still wouldn't be punishment enough.

"Madame. Pomfrey." Poppy replied stonily. Lockhart smiled cheerfully in reply, "Of course madame, but there is no need to worry" and turned back to the students.

Just as he did this, a shrill cry broke out from one of the Gryffindors, "W-W-WEREWOLF!" A shock went through all of the students. Lockhart froze beside her, then looked around nervously, eyes flitting in worry. Poppy gave a slight smile and crossed her arms.

"You'd better deal with that, professor. After all, you've defeated such creatures before." Lockhart paled, his blue eyes widening impossibly.

"R- Right, Right, of course. Students, follow me!" he cried, racing off back to the castle, students following in his wake. Poppy stood waiting for the 'werewolf' to make his appearance, and wondered briefly how long it would take the students to realize that the moon was barely a quarter full and that it was broad daylight. Poppy grinned, seeing a large, black shape appear out of the mist, a half giant striding behind it.

With a deep bark, the black form launched its self onto Poppy, knocking her over into the dark moss. A wet, pink tongue began to slobber all over her face. Trying to push it off of her, Poppy began to laugh, "Fang! Get off."

Hagrid whistled in the distance and Fang returned to his side, panting. Hagrid slowly picked his way through the roots and undergrowth to the witch's side. With a wink, he reached down and lifted Poppy up and on to her feet. He handed her a bright red handkerchief to wipe off the drool on her face with.

"So, did ya manage ta teach tha' bafoon a lesson?" he asked kindly, leading her back up to the castle. Poppy grinned up at him, "Yes, I think we most certainly did."

X

[After this particular event, Lockhart avoided the forbidden forest at all costs.]

I hope everyone enjoyed this! And if I wrote a purely siriusXpoppy story, would anyone be interested in it?