E POV***************************************************
January…Happy New Year…May ol' acquaintance be forgot…
February…Happy Valentine's Day beautiful
March…MadnEsS
April –- showers bring…
May— be this is all a dream…
June BUGGER... Last day of school. I can't believe I made it through the rest of the year, pretending the last 6 months never happened and that Bella never existed. At least I don't have to worry about Jessica or anyone else bothering me. At first people tried to give me their fake sympathy, but eventually they got tired of my moody behavior and stopped being concerned with my withdrawn behavior. Perhaps my father will change his mind about making me stay here, but I knew it was hopeless, especially after last night's fight about it.
"It's not safe…for anyone. You must stay here where I can protect you."
"…But I need to be with them. I don't care that they're different. You said yourself that they can control themselves now. I want to go!"
"It has to be this way…"
"Why? This coven you're so worried about hasn't been back since. Maybe they realized they got it wrong…wouldn't it be better if we were all together. I can't stay here and pretend everything is fine. I'm tired of going through the motions and I can't even call…"
"I'm sorry, Edward. I know this is hard. I hoped those emails between you and your brothers would help, but it's too risky to call and definitely to risky to leave. Be patient…"
Patient…that was the key word that ended the argument. He was right; that was what I needed to do. This summer was going to be hard, but at least I wouldn't have to pretend so much. My father wanted me to work at the hospital so he could watch over me…
At night I dream of being with her…
"We need to leave tonight. I am expected at work tomorrow evening and we don't want to do anything to create suspicion," my father explained to me, as the others listened in.
"What about Charlie? What are you going to say? What if they come back and he's home. I need to go back. I have to…"
"Bella, Charlie will be fine. I will see to that, I promise, but you must stay here. I know this will be hard for everyone, but we have to think of all the consequences."
I wanted to say something; put up another argument of why we couldn't leave, but I couldn't find one. I caught Bella's eye for a split second and thought I saw something in it, something that jolted my heart. I have to tell her…everything.
B POV************************************************
I watched Alice give Edward an awkward hug goodbye and it was truly starting to set it. I would be trapped here in some home in some little town in the middle of nowhere Alaska…indefinitely. I was beginning to feel a little like Ann Frank, only I didn't get my Peter to stay with me. Let's just hope things end a little bit better for me. Wait, what am I saying? My Peter? Edward? Why was I doing this to myself? Edward and I had stopped being friends for a couple years now and even though I was in love with him, it wasn't like he felt the same. Clearly he didn't, otherwise we would still be close. I couldn't still love him, not really. I was...confused. He was going back to his normal life and would forget all about me. When he said he didn't want to go back, it wasn't for me. I must realize this and stop this hopeless delusions.
Alice pulled away and gave a sad smile, retreating to her seat. I alternated from staring at the wall to the floor every few seconds. Esme pulled Edward into the other room to say goodbye. I couldn't stand there feeling useless and awkward any longer, so I stepped outside. The air almost knocked me over. I thought Forks was cold. Shivering, I struggled to get my zipper up. I started walking, without giving much thought to where I was going. Smart, Bella. Wander off alone in the middle of nowhere when there are blood thirsty vampires running about with a vendetta apparently against you…
"You shouldn't wander too far. It's probably not safe to be on your own till we know more," Edward sneaked up behind me and spoke what I was thinking. For some reason his presence didn't startle me, as though I had unconsciously hoped he would come after me. Why was he out here? I turned to look at his, still fiddling with my zipper, but when I caught his gaze my hands froze. Then he smiled at me, his perfect crooked grin and my knees literally went weak. His hands moved over mine and I pulled them away to allow him to zip it up for me.
"There," he chuckled, once he got it zipped up, all the way so it went over my mouth. "How are you going to keep from freezing if you can't even keep your coat closed," he teased, and it was lucky my coat was covering my mouth because I was unable to speak. I refused to break his gaze. If he was allowing me to look into his beautiful green eyes, then I would be greedy and take every second. After a long pause, he chuckled again and reversed my zipper enough so he could see my mouth.
"Thanks," I whispered and adjusted it myself. He stopped me by pulling my hands away and into his, as though evaluating them.
"Where are your gloves?" I shrugged, hoping secretly that he would never let go. When he did it was only for a moment, so he could pull out a pair of gloves from his own pockets and put them on my hands.
"Thanks," I said again, wishing I could actually say something of meaning before he left me possibly for forever.
"You're welcome," he breathed out.
"Are you leaving right now?"
"Yes, my father is waiting for me in the car."
"Oh…" I didn't know what to say. "I guess you don't have much time, then."
He looked at me and kind of frown and I mentally cringed. Why did I say that? Did he think I wanted him to leave me alone?
"Not much…listen," he sighed like he wasn't sure where to begin. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this. It's my fault that you're not at home, safe with your dad, without any knowledge of all this insanity."
"It isn't your fault."
"Yes it is," he spoke so darkly, I caught my breath.
"Edward, you had no way to know any of this could ever happen. It's too bizarre to dream up, much less consider reality."
"But I was warned…that's why…"
"What? Tell me, please."
"I don't want you to hate me, anymore. I mean, if it doesn't matter one way or another right now, I don't want to leave knowing you hate me."
"I don't hate you."
"You should hate me. I was awful to you. You were my best friend in the whole world and I just turned on you. You must have been so confused."
"You don't have to…We've all been through a lot—"
"Please—" he asked cutting me off, wishing to continue. "I only wanted to protect you—"
"What!?" I was certainly confused.
"I had to find a way to keep you away from me. I was told if I kept you in my life, you would be unsafe. That's why I treated you so terribly. I knew unless you hated me, you would never stop caring. If I told you the truth, you would try to help me; you'd refuse to keep away. Everything just got so messed up. I was so wrong to believe those things…I think I wanted to believe them, because then it was easier to not have you in my life…"
"It didn't work…"
"What?" he asked, not following.
"I never stopped caring about you…There were times I truly hated you, but I always hoped you'd come back to me…" I felt naked with his eyes on me.
"Can you ever forgive me?"
"For trying to keep me from this?! For trying to stop this from happening?!"
"For not being able to protect you. For ever thinking one bad thing about you. For treating you in the worst way. I was so horrible to you. I let them say things. I believed them. I said terrible things to you that you never deserved…please, Bella. I'll never forgive myself, but I can't leave without knowing."
"I forgive you, Edward…You're heart was in the right place. I know that. But this totally ruines my body snatchers theory," I laughed. He pulled me into a hug.
"Your what?!" He asked, but I just hugged him tighter and burried my face in his chest as a response. It seemed a long time before he let me go. When he did, I was unsure what to say and I knew we didn't have much time.
"Friends?" I asked, being to much of a coward to confess anything. He smiled and looked at me for a long pause.
"Friends," he agreed. "…why is it now that I have you back in my life I have to leave you alone again?" He tried to joke, but I could hear the clear pain in his voice.
"We'll see each other soon…" I assured him, knowing it was a lie.
"Please be careful, Bella. If something were to happen to you…I'd…"
"I'll be alright. You too. Please, look after charlie." It was hard not to get choked up, thinking about my father.
"Of course. I should probably go…" he said, but didn't make a move to leave.
"Right…" He surprised me by pulling me into another hug. This one was more powerful; full of fervor. I held onto him tightly and shivered when he kissed the top of my head.
"If you need me, if something happens, you just have to call me…" he said, not fully letting me go.
"I know."
"I'll miss you," he said, wiping my tears away.
"Soon…" I reminded him, just needing to hear him confirm it.
"Soon," he smiled, squeezing my hand, before walking away.
He didn't look back.
***************************************
E POV
October:
Tomorrow was Bella's birthday. Eighteen. Another birthday I would have to miss.
"Mr. Cullen…?"
"Yes, Mrs. Newart?
"Would you mine reading us the section, or would you rather continue staring out the window?" The class snickered.
"Sorry. What page?"
" The Poe poem on 422."
"Right…" I looked at the title and my heart tightened. Too close. I sucked in a deep breath and read.
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.
"Thank you Mr. Cullen. That was very nice. You sound like you really have a firm understanding of the pain Poe was trying to express about this great love of his…" I tried to push the teacher's voice out of my mind. For the hundredth time that day I pulled out the letter from my pocket. I read it over again and again. I'll love you forever, it read and I heard her voice say it.