Chapter 10: Lord Ambrose Thaddeus of Laurelshire

Disclaimer: You get the deal.

Note: In no way is this story historically accurate. I'm just messing history up to make my story better :). Tracy137 is the coolest! FFAMasquerade2005: Welcome to my story! I hope you won't disappear, but I much appreciate your review. You're absolutely right about Amanda's ankle. But, in good time, I promise you it serves a purpose. Also, it's part of her character to try and forget about pain.

Enjoy!

The next morning Amanda awoke in a bad mood, her ankle throbbing. Still brooding over what Arthur had said to her, her thoughts wandered to the battlefield. Racing out to the wall, Amanda was afraid to look over the edge. She looked and saw the many bodies of the Celts. Their flag lying on the blood soaked ground. Her eyes searched wildly for any of the Britons. She saw none, and she went back to her room and dressed. Then rushing down to the Round Table Room, her heart beat as she thought of the worst. She reached the door and calmed herself. Then, opening the heavy wood door, Amanda stepped in and instantly looked around the room. Everyone was there; Gawain, Galahad, Arthur, Edem, and Ambrose. She smiled brightly, took a new seat, seeing as Lord Ambrose was seated in hers. She seated herself in between Galahad and Nicolarious, both whom smiled their good mornings. Jols placed a plate in front of her, and Amanda took her first bite. Everyone was very quiet, and Amanda saw Gawain shift uncomfortably. Whatever the problem was, Amanda wasn't going to try and strike up the conversation. Ambrose was smirking, and Evelina was glaring at him. Amanda rolled her eyes and returned to her food. Then, Evelina abruptly left the table in a huff and stormed out of the room. When the door slammed shut, Ambrose burst out into laughter.

"Really cousin," he said to Arthur, "you must be mad!" Arthur glared at him, and Ambrose excused himself with a smile. Finishing her breakfast, Amanda left the tension filled room and left to the library. She entered the room hoping to find a book on flower meanings. She knew Arthur wouldn't have got a book like that, but maybe Evelina talked him into getting it for her. Standing at one of the shelves was Caia.

"Caia!" Amanda exclaimed. Caia turned and smiled.

"Good morning Amanda," she said, "did you have a good time last night?"

"I did," Amanda answered, "until the Celts came." It was the truth. Amanda had enjoyed the ball very much, but the battle was more important to her.

"Is everyone still intact?" Caia asked. Amanda laughed at her choice of words.

"Yes, everyone is well," Amanda answered. Caia smiled and put a book that she was looking at away. Amanda then remembered the flower.

"Caia," she said, "I got a reply from Mysterious."

"What did he say?" Caia asked, immediately interested.

"He sent me a flower. Anys called it a Gardenia. It's beautiful. What do you think it means?" Amanda asked. Caia smiled, and she appeared to be thinking very hard.

"I don't know. All flowers have meanings. But I can't remember them all. I wonder if there's a book on it," she said turning to the shelves. Amanda followed suit and pulled out any book she thought would be helpful.

After looking through about thirty books a piece, Amanda and Caia slumped down into chairs and took a short break.

"Nothing," said Amanda.

"I wish I could remember," said Caia. The door behind them opened and closed, but neither of them seemed to care.

"Someone's been doing a lot of work in here," said a deep voice.

"Yes Ambrose, more than you've ever done," replied Caia, in that cool tone she used at the ball. Ambrose laughed.

"Anything I can help you with?" he asked, appearing at the side of Caias' chair.

"I doubt it," said Amanda.

"Actually, he'd be just the man for this," countered Caia, "do you know what the Gardenia means?" Ambrose didn't even have to think.

"It means 'secret love'," he answered. Amanda raised her eyebrows in surprise. Ambrose looked at Amanda and smiled.

"Which one of you received one?" he asked. Amanda blushed.

"Ah," he said, apparently seeing Amanda's cheeks fill with pink, "a secret admirer? Well, that makes sense." Amanda smiled and rolled her eyes.

"You don't think so?" he asked.

"No sir, defiantly not," answered Amanda.

"I'd think again on that my dear. Since your arrival many men have been admiring your beauty. Many are falling in love with this 'goddess'," he said the last word with an air that would make any woman swoon. Caia laughed, and stood up.

"You just want her for yourself Ambrose," she said.

"Speaking of which, I'm unhappy to report that the ring you gave me was trampled upon by several horses. I'm terribly sorry," he said to Amanda. Amanda sighed.

"I couldn't trust you any ways. Luckily I didn't give you the real one," Amanda said with a smile. Ambrose put his hand to his heart.

"That hurt me Lady Marslyn. I think you'll find you'll be able to trust me very well as time wares on," he said with a pout. Amanda laughed.

"Maybe, but for now, I stand by my word," she said.

"I must be off," Caia said.

"Oh," said Amanda, "Goodbye then Caia."

"Goodbye, my lady," said Ambrose, in the deep voice he talked to her with. Caia departed and Ambrose and Amanda were left alone in the library. He occupied Caia's now vacant seat. Amanda looked at him, noticing how much he really did look like Arthur. Why hadn't she seen this man before? Why had Arthur never mentioned he had a cousin?

"You're probably wondering why you've never met me. Or seen me. Or even heard of me," he said. Amanda raised her eyebrows. Ambrose looked at her.

"I get it all the time. Arthur and I have a habit of not mentioning each other. Why? Mainly because we don't see the significance of it. We wouldn't just say that we were related unless asked who our family was," answered Ambrose. Amanda looked away and silently agreed that they were in fact cousins.

"You are very much like him," Amanda commented. Ambrose didn't smile, or frown, but looked at the wall, and seemed to be deep in thought.

"As to why you've never seen me, that's your fault. I have seen you many times before, and have grown to like you more and more. You are character, Lady Marslyn," he said.

"Please, feel no discontent to call me Amanda," Amanda said, "and please forgive me for never seeing you. Had I before yesterday, I feel we could be great friends." Ambrose nodded the same blank expression on his face. The two fell silent for a while, just staring at the walls.

"How long have you known Caia?" he asked, and Amanda shrugged.

"Since my second day here," she answered. Ambrose nodded, and folded his hands together.

"You seem to have known her a long time," said Amanda. To this, Ambrose smiled.

"Aye," he said, "She, Arthur, and I have known each other a long time. Since our childhood. She came to live in Briton when she was but a young girl, but I leave her to tell you when she ready." Amanda thought that was best as well. Ambrose had entered the state of blankness again, and Amanda thought it would be best if she left him be.

"I'll see you later today I hope," Amanda said, rising.

"Indeed you shall," said Ambrose, his ocean eyes meeting Amanda's, and for an instant, Amanda felt captivated. Amanda smiled, and turned away to leave.

"One more thing," said Ambrose, rising from the chair to meet Amanda. He took her hands in his, and looked deep into her eyes, "When is your birthday?"

"The first of August," Amanda answered. Ambrose smiled.

"In two days then?" he asked.

"Yes," Amanda answered, "I suppose so." Ambrose released Amanda's hands and smiled. Amanda left the library, thinking of where she should go next. Amanda decided to go out to the courtyard to admire the flowers. When she got there, Amanda saw no one out there. Thankful for the quiet, Amanda proceeded to take a turn about the courtyard. Then, she saw them. Along the left side of the courtyard was a bush. A bush with white flowers on it. Amanda went to that bush instantly to see if they were what she thought they were. The bush was in fact a Gardenia bush. Amanda smiled to herself.

Mysterious certainly didn't travel far to find this flower. That means it has to be someone in the palace. Maybe not, Amanda thought to herself. But her thoughts were abruptly ended when she saw a branch with now flower on it, yet it had no leaf either. The tip of the branch was bare, cut to a diagonal, the inside showing. A sudden rush hit Amanda. This is where Mysterious was. Who ever was the one to cut this branch was either cutting Amanda's flower for Mysterious, or was in fact Mysterious himself. Amanda's heart beat sped up.

"Intriguing, aren't they?" said a rich, smooth voice from behind Amanda. Amanda jumped, her back straightening like a rod, and her heart stopped. Amanda turned to see an olive skinned, dark haired, golden eyed man standing behind her. He looked oddly familiar, and he smiled like he knew Amanda.

"Perhaps you don't remember me, Lady Marslyn," he said politely, "Adonis Gregili." The bell downed in Amanda's head.

"Ah, the man from the tavern. Nice to see you again," Amanda said, relaxing, and walking towards him.

"Well, thank you," he answered, "and you?"

"Well enough. Oh, I'd like to apologize for my behavior at the tavern last night. I was quite intoxicated, something I shouldn't have been in the first place, and quite upset."

"Apology accepted," he answered. Amanda gestured to the path, and Adonis nodded. They set off around the courtyard, and Amanda began to wonder.

"I hate to be rude, but how did you get into the palace?" Amanda asked. Adonis smiled.

"I'm one of the soldiers in Arthur's army. We are given free time, and life in the barracks can be a bit loud, so I often escape here," he answered, "I'll be heading out to the fields soon, and I usually come through this way." Amanda nodded.

So, a member of Arthur's army are you? I hate to think it, but you seem far too much of a pretty boy to be part of an army, Amanda thought. As they turned the second corner, Adonis seemed fit to talk.

"How is young Nicolarious of the castle? Your brother, no doubt?" he asked.

"He's quite well, thank you Adonis. How did you learn that he was not well?" Amanda asked. Adonis smiled.

"Your brothers fall has been quite the subject. As is yourself milady," he answered. Amanda smiled. Even though Amanda wasn't one to trust very easily, Adonis seemed a very good person, and he was growing on her. They turned the third corner, and Adonis froze in his tracks. Amanda looked back at him, and saw that he was staring at the entrance of the courtyard. In that entrance was Gawain, Galahad, Ambrose, and Arthur. Amanda smiled at them, and then looked back at Adonis. He was not smiling. His face was pale, and stricken.

"I need to go to the fields now milady. I hope to see you again some time," he said. Amanda received a last glance from him and his golden eyes before he walked off to the fields. Quite angry with the four men standing in the doorway for scaring off her new friend, Amanda walked towards them scowling.

"What was that all about?" Amanda asked, forgetting all about her properness. She folded her arms over her chest and shifted all her weight onto her left, and uninjured,leg. When the four glanced at each other, but didn't answer, Amanda began to tap her foot. They shifted uncomfortably, and Amanda threw her hands up in the air, storming through them. Gawain and Galahad caught her by the waist.

"Do not trust Adonis Gregili," warned Gawain.

"Why not?" Amanda asked.

"Because," answered Galahad. Amanda had had it past her head with the word because.

"BECAUSE IS NOT AN ANSWER FOR ANY QUESTION I ASK!" she yelled, her face going red.

"He's not a good man, milady," said Ambrose.

"Don't you milady me," she said, and Ambrose backed off, "You don't even know me! Don't assume titles for me, don't assume anything about me!" Amanda stormed off in the opposite direction, she was so angry; she broke into a run, heading for the stables.

"I'm sorry Ambrose; there is something much greater going on with Amanda than what's on the surface. She would never act like that about such a silly thing," said Gawain. Ambrose nodded, and shrugged.

"I suppose we should get to the fields," said Galahad, "Or would you like us to go after her Arthur?" Arthur shook his head.

"You have troops to train," he answered. Gawain and Galahad left, and Ambrose turned to his cousin.

"Would you like me to go after her?" he asked. Arthur shook his head.

"I will," he said. Ambrose smiled and Arthur jogged after Amanda.

When Amanda mounted her horse and raced out of the city, she didn't know where to go. The feeling of loneliness crept through her veins, and her vision clouded over with tears. She thought coming back to Camelot would be good for her. It was home for a long time, and her brother was there. But ever since she arrived, Amanda had never felt lonelier in her life. Adonis was a good person to talk to. Especially when she was feeling as lonely as she was. But no, Arthur had to scare him away.

Why can't he just worry about himself for once? He has a whole country to worry about, why does he care if I talk to Adonis? Why does he care if I go into battle? Amanda thought angrily. The horse was heading to the graveyard, and Amanda didn't object. She would love to be in her mother's arms right now, and to talk to her father about Arthur. He would have like Arthur. He would have encouraged Amanda to tell him how she felt. How she missed her father. The tears fell more rapidly and her horse stopped at the entrance to the cemetery. Leaping off her horse, Amanda walked in and looked around. It was empty, and Amanda then ran towards their headstones. Falling to her knees in front of them, Amanda dug her hands into the earth that covered them. She clenched the grass and mindlessly pulled it up. Her hands released the grass after a short time and her arms went around her head, and she slowly leaned her body up against her fathers' gravestone. The soft thudding of hooves didn't bother Amanda; she figured someone would have come after her. She heard whoever it was dismount and walk towards her. They stopped a few feet behind her, and stood silently. Amanda could've cared less. The tears kept falling, and her body heaved with each inhale. Her emotion was now beyond her control. She stayed like that for a long time. The skies eventuallybecame overcast, and the clapping of thunder was heard overhead. Slowly, Amanda's tears dissipated in to small occasional drops running down her cheeks. Feeling lonely, but somewhat better from her cry, Amanda slowly rose, lifting all her weight on the stone. Though her ankle hurt, Amanda tried to keep her mind off it. She had been successful all day, until now. When she was about half way up from the ground, Amandas' ankle gave out; proving to be more injured than Amanda had really thought it to be. She fell back down, and the person who was behind her finally came to her aid. He caught her arm, and gently lifted her up. Amanda didn't even have to look anymore, she knew it was Arthur.

"Come, sit over here," he said, and he steered her over to a fallen tree. Amanda sat and rested, while Arthur kneeled down in front of her. He lifted up her injured foot, but Amanda recoiled, snatching her foot out of his hands.

"I won't hurt you," he said.

"You can't promise me that," Amanda retorted.

"I just want to know what's wrong with it," he said, his eyes narrowing.

"I know what's wrong with it, and that's all that matters. Keep your worries to yourself, your country, and your precious Evelina," Amanda growled. Arthur rose to his full height.

"You're impossible!" he said.

"I know! That's the way I am! I apologize if you don't like impossible people," Amanda said back, trying to stand. A sharp pain seared through her ankle in protest of her rising. But she disregarded it, keeping her face like stone.

"Sit back down," said Arthur.

"No," said Amanda, starting to walk off. On her second step her ankle gave away yet again, and her body crashed into Arthur's. He sat her back down and grabbed her foot. Amanda tried to pull it away but he glared fiercely at her. Amanda glared back, but gave in to his worries. She looked away stubbornly, and Arthur lifted her dress knee high. Curiosity getting the better of her, Amanda peered down at her ankle. It was swollen twice its size and red. Arthur looked up at her, a knowing expression on his face.

"How did this happen?" he asked.

"When I fell at the ball. When the man ran into me," Amanda answered. Arthur nodded and turned his attention back to her ankle. He began to bend it inward and the pain increased a thousand times.

"Ahh!" Amanda gasped, "Don't do that!"

"That hurt?" he asked.

"No," replied Amanda, sarcasm in full affect, "It sent a tingling sensation through my body. It made my quite giddy. Do it again."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" asked Arthur.

"Nothing you need to know about," Amanda snapped, anger welling in her chest once again.

"I'm not blind Amanda, you cried just there for a half hour. Us telling you not to befriend Adonis Gregili can't cause that many tears," said Arthur, matching her anger.

"Yes it can!" Amanda said, her eyes brimming with tears, and a knot tying itself in her throat. Amanda had no will power left to argue with her body to keep back her pain. The tears came again, and Amanda hated herself more and more. Her hands went to her eyes, trying to wipe away her tears, but the more she wiped away, the more they multiplied. Amanda didn't feel Arthurs' body kneel up against her shins, but when he placed his hands on the side of her face, Amanda felt a sensation like no other. The warmth from his hands seemed to spread through her body, reminding her of home. Arthur lifted her head so her eyes could meet his.

"What is the cause of these tears?" he asked his voice gentle.

"Loneliness Arthur," answered Amanda.

"But you're surrounded by people who love you," he said. Amanda closed her eyes and shook her head. Her hands rested upon Arthurs forearms, and her right slid up to his hand.

"I know that," Amanda said, "I've never felt lonelier in my life. I don't know why. I just do." Arthur's eyes changed all of a sudden. From caring, to knowing. Amanda broke the silence by laughing.

"You needn't worry about me Arthur," said Amanda wiping her eyes, and removing Arthur's hands. Arthur smiled and lifted Amanda's foot once more. He pushed her dress hem to her knee and his fingers ran over her ankle.

"The Caretaker should be able to mend this. Next time your hurt, don't try and fight it, it only makes things worse," said Arthur. Amanda blushed, and smiled. She looked down at Arthur, but saw he wasn't looking back. He was staring at her knee, where there was a scar. The scar from over two years ago; when he saved her from the Saxons. Amanda smiled, and ran her hand over it.

"That's the best it ever got. I think I should have had stitches," Amanda commented. Arthurs hand went to his stomach, where Amanda had given him stitches after the battle with the Saxons.

"That was such a long time ago," said Amanda.

"Yes," replied Arthur, "It was a long time ago."

"Like a lifetime," said Amanda, thinking about Bishop Ahias, and Joseph, and when it was just her and Arthur. No Edem, no Evelina. Amanda felt her body be washed over with her feelings for Arthur.

Why didn't you tell him ages ago? You should have just told him. Tell him now. No, it would make no difference. He's got Evelina. And you have Edem. Or you had Edem. Why didn't you tell Arthur?

"Why?" Amanda asked herself. Arthur looked up at her, and Amanda's face went hard.

"Why what?" Arthur asked. Amanda sighed.

"Nothing," she said. Arthur rose, looking down at Amanda.

"Don't look at me like that Arthur, you make me feel so unworthy," Amanda said, looking away. She pushed her dress back down over her leg and she hoisted herself up on a remaining branch. Arthur offered her a hand, but Amanda declined. Much to her protesting looks, Arthur took her elbow, and separated himself little from Amanda.

"Why are you like this?" Arthur asked. Amanda looked up at him, and knitted her eyebrows together.

"What do you mean Arthur?" she asked.

"You are so," he paused searching for the word, "stoic. Many other women show their emotions. When they're hurt, they say when they're hurt. You, you hate to cry, you hate to be helped, you hate others to know your anguish. Why?" Amanda thought on it for a moment, and then smiled.

"Are you asking me why I am the way I am?" Amanda asked.

"Yes," Arthur answered.

"Well," replied Amanda, "that's easy. I am because that's the way God made me."

"Please," said Arthur, "a more tangible answer." Amanda sighed and grabbed her horses' reins.

"Because Arthur," said Amanda, "It's just the way I think I should be. If other women show their emotions; fine, I'm no lady. I was raised as a woman, my other half being a man. It's been this way since the dawn of time. I dislike pain because it holds me back. I don't want anyone helping me because I'm just too damn proud. I can do anything and everything by myself as well and the next person. It's just who I am Arthur. Do not question my why I am myself; for that I have no answer to." Arthur seemed only confused. Amanda sighed, "Arthur, I was raised to do things for myself and others. I was taught to think of others first, then myself. Giving is more important than taking. Please try and understand. I need few things in this world. Only one of them something I cannot do myself. As for that, I avoid it."

"Love," said Arthur. Amanda looked up at him surprised. Holding his gaze for a few moments, and then looking away, Amanda was shocked he knew what she was referring to.

"Yes," said Amanda, "Love is not a one sided thing."

"Yet it's the one feeling people need," said Arthur.

"I know," replied Amanda, "but I learned to try and go without it. I wish to try and go without loving another and avoid being loved by another."

And that obviously didn't work, Amanda thought.

"Why?" Arthur asked.

"Because love is a pain far greater than any other on this Earth. It can make even the strongest crumble to its power. And the worst thing? It doesn't care. It's a pain I could not bear."

Arthur and Amanda rode back to the palace in silence, and Amanda went to the Caretaker's unescorted. This, she insisted upon. She knocked on the door and the Caretaker called for her to enter. She entered and saw Ambrose being bandaged around his middle.

"Lord Ambrose!" Amanda exclaimed, "What happened?"

"Just a scratch," he said with a smile. Amanda limped over to him as the Caretaker finished.

"What's wrong?" Ambrose asked.

"Last night when I was run over," Amanda said. Ambrose nodded.

"I knew it was more than just your head tapping the floor," he said. Amanda smiled and sat in a chair. Ambrose put his tunic slowly back on, careful not to wreck the bandage.

"Lift your leg," said the Caretaker. Amanda lifted her leg, and the Caretaker pushed back her dress which fell to her mid thigh. Ambrose looked away, a pink color filling his cheeks. Amanda smiled and realized that she was being bandaged.

"You sprained your ankle. Rest for a few days and keep it on a pillow," the Caretaker instructed. Amanda nodded and winced as her foot slid to an angle. Ambrose was still waiting and the Caretaker sped up his process. When finished, Amanda and Ambrose thanked him together, and Ambrose offered her his arm. Amanda accepted and off they went.

"I have to apologize for my behavior earlier today. I didn't mean what I said. I...I...,"

"Don't worry about it Amanda. You were right. I don't know you. I'd like to be given the chance to though. I meant it when I told you that I liked you more and more more everytime I saw you. I'd really like to know you," said Ambrose. Amanda smiled.

"I think I can manage that," Amanada said. Ambrose smiled.

"What really happened?" Amanda asked as they neared her room. Ambrose smiled and looked at Amanda.

"All in good time. I promise," he answered. Amanda furrowed her brow and frowned.