Rory wasn't used to the silence that had taken the house by storm that night. Before then, he did not understand how some people said that silence was deafening. But he got it as he sat on his bed too pissed off to sleep. He understood that in silence you heard nothing but yourself. You hear your heartbeat, your breath, your every thought. You can't escape any of it because there is nothing else to distract you. Rory sat there on his bed, his ears straining to hear the nonexistent music from the room next to his—Ashleigh always had it playing—forced to confront his own thoughts.
There was no denying that he was angry. He didn't idolize Alec the way his sister did. He didn't think that the ground Alec walked on was as holy as a church. He didn't love Alec for Alec's sake, but for his father's. Rory loved the way that his dad smiled the day that he and Alec had met. Rory was only a kid, but even then he could tell that this dark haired man—teenager, really—was different in his father's eyes. Rory didn't understand exactly what was happening, but he was able to watch Alec bring his father back to life. Chris had started to laugh and smile, even when he didn't know that someone was watching. Rory loved Alec for making his dad happy. Now he was pissed that the same man who had brought light and life back crushed it with a single kiss. He was pissed that it was Magnus who had helped. He was just so infuriated with the whole situation that he wasn't sure who, exactly, he was blaming, Alec or Magnus.
He didn't want to blame either of them. He loved Alec. He was who he was because of Alec. And Magnus. By the Angel, Magnus was the closest thing Rory had to a friend. Sure, Will and Amanda were great and all, but they were his students. Magnus was the only person he wasn't related to who he spent time with. This hurt too much. This was too much betrayal in one fucked up mess that Rory didn't know whether to scream, cry, or kill something. If he went out on a patrol, he could do all three in relative peace, but he did not want to leave Chris alone. So instead, he got up—there was no way sleep was going to happen—and began to search the house for his father.
That was the best decision that Rory could have made that night, as Chris was sitting in the library, in the red chair that Alec had bought years ago simply because it could fit the two of them if they ever wanted to. They had spent many a night in that chair, fast asleep curled in each other's arms, Alec's head resting on Chris's shoulder, books long since fallen to the floor.
Rory half expected to see that ever so familiar scene when he walked into the library, but no. It was just Chris, staring blankly into the room that he had made sure the house had for Alec.
"Dad?' Rory said hesitantly. Chris hadn't even bothered to look up. Soft footsteps brought Rory to his father. He sat down at Chris's feet, the way he had when they first moved into this house and he wanted to hear a story. "Dad, I'm sorry," he said, not sure why he was apologizing. That got a reaction from Chris.
"Don't, please, just don't," was all he said, his voice catching slightly on the 'please'. Rory had never really been the physically affectionate type, with Ashleigh being the only exception, but he reached out and took his father's hand anyway.
"It's so quiet without her here," he whispered. Chris nodded.
"It is," was all he said. Rory sighed. This was not what he thought was going to happen, not that he really had a plan in mind when he searched for his father. It hurt to see him this heartbroken.
"She'll be fine, you know that, right? He loves her," Rory said, just to fill the silence.
"I'm not worried about Ash, Ror. I know Alec is going to take care of her; she is his daughter, too," Chris replied.
"Then tell me how to help, please. This isn't like you, dad." Chris chuckled, a sound that was devoid of any actual humor.
"This isn't something you can fix. I hope you never understand what this feels like," he said, slumping back into the chair. "How about you go back to your room? Get some sleep," he told his son. Rory hesitated, hating the look of utter despair on his father's face, but did eventually stand and return to his room, the silence from his sister's room still shocking to his ears.
Rory, for the first time in his life, felt entirely useless. His family was falling apart, and he didn't know how to fix it. He wasn't even sure he could fix it. Alec had cheated. There was no coming back from that. What was really confusing is that it was Alec who had done it. Alec, who was the living definition of loyal to a fault. He was loyal to the Clave, loyal to Jace, and Rory thought, loyal to Chris. The more that Rory thought about it, Alec had to have done it on impulse. This could not have been planned. Somehow, that thought made him feel a bit better. Alec hadn't meant to destroy everything. It just sort of happened. That fit Alec a lot more than the picture of a diabolical mastermind that had been slowly forming in Rory's head. At least this way, once Rory got over the fact that his once perfect little family was gone, he could forgive Alec and go back to loving his father. He wasn't there yet, but it was possible in the future, and for the night, that would have to be enough.
Rory laid down on his bed, the events of the day running through his mind. Somewhere in the back of his head, he wanted to believe that this was all just a bad dream and Alec would knock on his door in the morning, waking him up and telling him to go to the Institute. He ran a hand through his hair. It was hard to accept that that wasn't going to happen. He didn't want to accept that it wasn't going to happen. He didn't even want to think about how hard Ashleigh must be taking this. She loved both of their parents, of course, but he knew that she was much closer to Alec.
And the anger was back, full force. Rory grabbed the nearest object—a book on demon languages that Alec had given to him on his last birthday—and threw it at the wall with a scream. He heard Chris run up the steps, which was in and of itself a testament to how much this was affecting his father. There was a slight knock on his door.
"Come in," Rory said. The door opened and his father stepped in. Without saying a word, he walked over to the bed and sat down. "Why are you here?" Rory asked.
"I keep forgetting that this affects you, too," Chris admitted.
"I'm fine, dad," Rory protested. Chris smiled, which brought one to his son's face.
"I think the wall would say otherwise," Chris told him.
"None of it makes sense. I didn't even know that Magnus knew dad, let alone…," Rory let the sentence trail off, not wanting to finish it.
"I know," Chris said, laying back on the bed. They sat like that, in total silence, until the sun came up and they both had to face the reality that Alec wasn't there.
I apologize for the three-month break. It was a combination of not being able to get this chapter right, my life going to shit, and my own laziness. I do however plan to finish this within the month. Thank you for reading, comments are always welcome and I reply to all of the ones I can. Love, Starlight.