*** I do not own Harry Potter or make any profit off the franchise … yet. Maybe the spiked chocolates, flowers, and messages filled with subliminals sent to JKR will work. Only time will tell.

*** Sheesh, y'all are a bloodthirsty, lemon-loving lot of minions! So am I, but I'm not sure I can do it justice. I'll work on it, though. But remember … "Baby steps, Luna. Baby steps." As a Luna-heavy chapter, this one is semi-crack'd … but the magical dissertation affects/explains future events. Luna took me there by accident, but it will smooth out some of the bumps I saw down the road.

Chapter 10

Prezzies, Plans, and the Rest of the News

Luna shook her head at the couple before her. It's a good thing that they're not kids. If they didn't know to breathe through their noses, they would have suffocated by now! Realizing that the snog-fest was not ending anytime soon, Luna decided that the time was ripe.

"Harry?"

No response.

"Yoo-hoo … Maaaaster!"

This time, Luna thought she heard an annoyed grunt.

"A moment of your time?"

Another grunt (with a second grunt echoing it) was followed by one arm unwrapping itself from Hermione and making a shooing motion.

"One request and I'll leave you two alone. Can I use the portal and a few minions to pick up some presents in England?"

Once again, Harry's response was a grunt (but the echo now sounded more like a growl).

"Please? With sugar on top … or on me, later, or maybe whipped cream, but no cherry I'm afraid."

A grunt followed by a louder growl was followed by a thumb's up and another shooing motion. Without breaking the kiss, Harry scooped Hermione up into his arms and headed for the stairs which led to the Overlord's private chambers.

Luna happily bounced the few steps necessary to stand before Gnarl and clasped her hands behind her back. Lifting and lowering herself on the balls of her bare feet, she looked at the aged minion expectantly.

Gnarl shook his head ruefully. "He has no idea what he agreed to, does he?"

"Nope!" she beamed.

"I don't think it would be wise –"

Luna pouted. "Darn! While I was there I was planning on picking up a new paddle I've heard about. It has holes all through it so it whistles when you swing it!"

Gnarl stared at the once again smiling blond-demon-from-the-Underworld-here-to-specifically-torment-Gnarl for a moment, and then finally sighed his surrender. "What will you be needing, Mistress?"

"Three Browns and five Greens should do. And anything you have that looks like pillowcases, socks, or tea cozies. Don't worry … I'll be very careful!" Luna then tapped herself on her head with her wand. Her scraggly curls straightened and her hair changed to a platinum shade so bright it almost appeared white.

"Very well, Mistress." Gnarl tried to comfort himself with the knowledge that the Overlord had agreed to Mistress Luna's request … basically.

Once the eight minions had congregated in the throne room, Luna squatted before them. "I can't link to you like our master can, so we all have to be very careful. Our primary concern is to not get caught by the authorities of where we're going."

"Weez going to Place-of-Mastah's-Spawning?" asked one of the Browns.

Luna smiled at the creature. "Yes. Yes we are."

All eight of the minions began to leap in joy. Even though they were evidently not going there with the Overlord, it was still to be considered a great honor.

"Now just in case," their mistress continued, "I want you all to remember this: You are house elves that have been in a magical accident. Also, if you get captured and questioned, you have been ordered not to reveal your master's name. But kill yourself before being questioned if at all possible. Now … how many of you have names?"

The minions all looked at each other and eventually they all started shaking their heads.

"That's alright. But you'll have to make up something if any of you get caught." Luna crinkled her brows in thought. "Just to be safe, make up something with two syllables ending in 'y' or 'ie.'"

As one, all the minions started shaking their heads vehemently. A Green spoke before any of the others could and declared, "Weez no makes names! Only Mastah or Miztress canz make names!" The rest all pumped their heads in agreement."

Luna frowned for a moment, then she smiled upon remembering a muggle history book she had picked up on the same day as that dreadful anatomy book which had nothing to do with some variation of anal sex. She started pointing to the minions as she called out names. "Okay … you are Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Happy, Grumpy, urm … Bashful, and … Doc."

The wide smile on the last of the Greens turned into a sad expression which almost broke Luna's heart. "And meez, mistress? Meez no get name?"

"Of course you do! Uhm …." Luna wracked her brain for something that would fit in with the rest but couldn't come up with anything for the odd-minion-out. Finally, she just made up a name. "You are going to go by 'Shempie.' No, that doesn't sound right. I guess the naming pattern is not really a law … so 'Shemp' will be your name."

"Tank youz, mistress!" With wide smiles, the other minions all nodded in agreement. This was proving to be a spectacular day! Not only were they going to their master's spawning place, they had all been awarded names!

By the time of the last naming, another minion had scuttled next to Luna with bundles of cloth in his arms. Very few of the items were suitable, so Luna pulled her wand from behind her ear and started to Transfigure items before handing them out to Shemp and the seven minions. With a small giggle, she added a golden "M" to two of the towels and one of the pillowcases she ended up distributing. One could never be too careful, after all. As she helped them attire themselves as ridiculously as possible, she sent the extra minion to her quarters to fetch her a heavy cloak. She would try to avoid being spotted, but hoped to misdirect people if such could not be avoided.

Standing up straight, Luna led her team of minions to the watery gate near the end of the room. "Now everyone remember the rules and don't forget where we gated." Glancing over towards Gnarl, she cheerily waved. "Can you send us someplace close to St. Mungo's, please?"

xXxXx

"Harry?"

"Hrrmm?"

"Can we talk –" Hermione couldn't suppress a small gasp, "—for a minute?"

"Do we have to? I'm still having fun here!" Harry adopted a mock pout but continued to slowly encircle a nipple with his thumb.

"Hmmm. That's fun for me too … but we'll have all the time in the world for that later. Besides," the brunette found herself almost purring as Harry's thumb slowly trailed its way across her chest to visit the twin and pay its respects, "it's important."

Harry sighed. "It's not fair! I'm a nice Overlord; I don't just roll over and fall asleep after sex. But why do all my women want to have serious conversations during the intermissions? Haven't any of you ever heard of basking in the afterglow?"

"Poor baby. We're all so evil to our beloved master."

"Damn right!" Harry grinned as he flicked a nail over the most sensitive part of his current playground.

"Come on, please? Look at me."

Harry grinned. "I am."

"Up here for a moment!" she tried to huff but failed.

"Since we're on our sides, I believe that would technically be to my left, then?"

"Harry … please!"

"Oh, alright. What's so important that it can't wait until after we catch our breath, have sex, catch our breath again, have sex again –"

"Harry!"

"Okay, okay," he capitulated. "What do we so desperately need to talk about?"

"I'm worried about your plans."

"You have a problem with me getting my revenge?"

"No! Of course not! I'm worried about you taking on Dumbledore. He's a powerful wizard! If you plan to use subterfuge instead of facing him directly, you have to remember that he's not only powerful politically, but that he's been manipulating people himself for probably close to a hundred years!"

Harry smiled. "It's a good thing I don't plan on doing either, then."

"Then what … what … what on earth are you looking at now?"

"There's a tiny drop of sweat just at the tip of your nose."

"Both of us are covered in sweat, you … you …."

"Yes, but it's a very cute drop of sweat!"

"Stop that, you prat! I'm worried for you! Please talk to me."

"Okay, but let me take care of this so I can concentrate." Leaning toward her, he quickly licked the dollop off the tip of her nose. "Hmm. Slightly salty."

Hermione had to chuckle at the Overlord. "Good! We're even, then."

"But not bad! Not bad at all! It's actually quite tasty, in fact! Why, I'll be happy to lick lots of sweat off of you! And often!"

"As I said," she leered, "that makes us even. Now, can you concentrate?"

"After that comment? Are you kidding?"

"Harry!"

Sighing in resignation, Harry comfortably draped his arm over Hermione's hip. "I didn't become the Overlord and survive this long by being stupid, Hermione. I'm not going to try to take him on face-to-face in some kind of spell battle. That worked so well for me against Voldemort! I'm also not going to try to out-manipulate the old bastard. In England, he knows where more skeletons are buried than I do."

"Then what are you planning on doing?" asked Hermione, puzzled.

"Well, it's a work in progress. I'll figure it out while I clear his board of pawns and mess with his head. In the end, I'll simply change the game to one that I'll win. Overlord's don't fight fair. In a war of attrition, for example … well, I have a hell of a lot more minions than he does. But it'll probably be something simple … like throwing several hundred minions at him while a dominated SAS sniper sets up for a shot at him from a looong ways away."

Hermione opened her mouth and then closed it. She repeated the action several times. "Are you serious?" she finally managed.

Harry grinned at the obvious opening but didn't go for the joke. She had delighted him with more than enough openings already today. "I'm not saying that's what I'll end up doing, but that's the direction I'm thinking in. As I said, it's a work in progress."

Hermione sighed and shook her head. "Oh, Harry."

The Overlord groaned. "Merlin, that has always driven me barmy!" With a growl, he moved towards her and then rolled them over, sliding her legs to either side of his own as he moved atop her once again. "This intermission is over!"

"Oh! Harry!"

xXxXx

Gnarl was pacing back and forth before the gate. No! Portal! Marvelous … now the master has even me doing it! Wringing his claws nervously, he simply knew that something had gone wrong. His master's newest mistress had been gone for hours, and the aged minion knew that he would undoubtedly be held responsible.

After the first hour, he had tried to calm his nerves by wandering down to the dungeon after instructing a minion to fetch him as soon as Mistress Luna returned. Upon his arrival, his mood had immediately lightened after hearing the soothing crack of a whip followed by a shriek of pain.

Ahh … Mistress Velvet must be down here! I had almost forgotten about the prisoners that Talbot fellow had brought. Lovely chap … he had even remembered to bring that standing order of seal nuggets with him. I always hate it when the current errand boy forgets!

There had been a slight lull in the melodious sounds which had acted as a balm to his frazzled nerves, so the ancient minion had followed the whimpers which had replaced them to their source. Yes, whimpers had their place in the scheme of things, Gnarl admitted, but they were nowhere near as invigorating as a soul-wrenching scream of complete agony.

He had found Mistress Velvet examining various implements of torture mounted upon a rack, obviously trying to choose which brush to use next to continue working on her composition. Her long, glossy black hair had been tied back in a ponytail and she wore only a tiny black bustier trimmed in purple, blood-red knickers, and short boots.

Gnarl knew that she liked to do her "work" in such attire for two reasons … well, three … three reasons. She was amused by the effect of her ensemble on the men she tortured, but she primarily liked having a great deal of skin exposed to the blood splatter which resulted from her tender ministrations. The wench actually believed that the sanguine fluid helped keep her skin soft and wrinkle-free! Fortunately, she was not so gauche as to even consider actually bathing in it like some psychotic savage. The third, Gnarl was certain, was that she never knew when the Overlord might come down to see a session for himself and she relished the effect her appearance had on their lord.

"Ah, Mistress Velvet … I hope that I'm not interrupting you."

Velvet had raised her eyebrow at that. "Of course not, Gnarl. I'm more than capable of holding a conversation while continuing upon my tasks. Was there something you needed of me?"

"No … no. I merely found myself out of sorts and thought that a quick visit here might relax me, milady."

The Overlord's second mistress had chuckled at that, the sound of it oozing with seductive promises of both pain and pleasure. "I understand completely, Minion Master. The Dark One has been … preoccupied … as of late, and I, too, have found myself in need of some sort of release."

"I have gotten the impression that our sire will probably continue in such a state for a while yet. It is understandable, however … access to his vengeance had been denied him for eight years." Gnarl thought it likely best not to mention the two new women in the tower. "Perhaps you and Dark Fay could assist each other? If you'll pardon my saying so, the two of you are the most similar in temperament of all the mistresses, and I am sure that she is experiencing similar needs."

Velvet had just finished selecting a cat-o'-nine-tails and had started gliding over to the whimpering shell of the captive but stopped. Pondering Gnarl's words, she had tapped the wrapped leather handle against her chin. The ex-queen was arrogant beyond measure, but she did share Velvet's love for both the finer and darker things in life. "That idea might have some merit, Gnarl."

Gnarl had grinned in return. With a mocking bow, he had added, "I never claimed to be just a pretty face, milady."

Velvet's tinkling laugh had been that of an innocent child … oddly unsettling coming from one such as her. With a casual flick of her wrist, she had tossed the selected implement towards the minion. "Why don't you continue for me, for a bit? I believe that your suggestion bears investigation."

"I'm … I would be honored, mistress. Are you certain you wouldn't rather I start on a fresh captive and leave your unfinished work to await your return?"

Velvet had snorted at that point. "Spare me the false humility, minion. I have seen your handiwork in the past and will freely admit that your skills approach my own. I know that I am leaving this wretch in good … claws."

Smiling at Velvet's acknowledgment of his own skills, Gnarl had watched the mistress leave. For the next hour, he had then lost himself in the joys of replacing hope within another sentient being with pain and fear. He was honored to hold the position of the Overlord's Minion Master, but the demands on his time did regretfully keep him away from such simple joys.

But his agitation had almost immediately returned after he had left the haven of the dungeons.

And it was now three hours later.

A resigned Gnarl, quill in hand, was on the twelfth page of his own eulogy when ripples appeared on the surface of the portal. The waters in the pool began to glow, catching Gnarl's attention and announcing the impending arrival of … someone.

A smiling Mistress Luna was the first to appear in the chamber. She waved at the Minion Master. "C'hello, Gnarl. Did you miss us?"

Gnarl didn't know whether he should be relieved, faint, or begin a killing rampage. In the end, he opted for staring blankly at the unusual girl.

Moving away from the portal, Luna made room for the arrival of four minions carrying a large sack. As that group moved forward, another four appeared in the throne room carrying a thick roll of carpet.

"Why don't you fellows go and secure those two in the dungeons? Hmm, wait a moment. Gnarl, are those prisoners from Norbert or wherever scattered around the place, or is there an empty section where I can start storing Harry's presents?"

Asked a direct question from a Mistress, Gnarl was finally able to locate his voice as his brain reactivated. "Both the Eastern and Southern blocks are currently vacant."

"Goody! And how many captives can fit there?"

"Each block can hold seventy-five prisoners, mistress. Or fifteen, if you don't want to pack them in."

Luna cocked her head to the side and smiled brightly. "That should be more than sufficient for the moment." Returning her attention to her teams, she issued them new instructions. "Secure these two in the Eastern block and be back here within fifteen minutes. I'd like to make at least three more trips before calling it a night."

"WHAT!"

"Is something wrong, Gnarl?"

"Three … three … three …" he sputtered.

"Nine? Nine what?"

"Three more trips?" squeaked Gnarl.

"I believe we can do it. We ironed out most of the kinks, I think, so the rest of the abductions should go much smoother."

"But … but … but …."

"Aww. It's sweet of you to worry about us, Gnarl, but there's no need. The war in Wizarding England has been over for years. The sheep have again forgotten that wolves even exist. A few casual greetings, a Stupefying Charm, maybe a body-bind – and at worst a few Obliviates – and Harry has a new sex-slave/decoration for the tower. Easy as pudding." Luna's gaze grew distant and she tapped a finger against her chin. "Well … for three, maybe four, days at the most. After that, someone may manage to drive away the wrackspurts and start putting four and twelve together."

Gnarl was still sputtering when the eight minions on loan to Luna returned from the dungeons. Lifting her hood, Luna tugged on her glamoured hair to make sure that some of it spilled forth from her cowl … just in case. Beckoning to the minions, she once more skipped over to the portal at the end of the room.

"Diagon Alley or thereabouts, please."

xXxXx

Luna groaned as the knock on her door awakened her. She had only gotten to bed a few hours ago. The final abduction last night had taken three times longer than she had estimated. It had actually turned into a spell battle and ended only when Shemp and Happy had managed to sneak up behind the Slytherin being collected. It seemed that the snakes tended towards paranoia. Luna was saddened by how little trust some people could have for their fellow man. She would have to factor that into her calculations before kidnapping the rest of the Slytherins on her mental list.

"Mmrmph?"

"Luna … are you awake?" Harry knocked on the door once again. Usually, he just walked straight into his mistresses' rooms whenever he desired to see them. His day with Hermione, however, had put him in an excellent mood and, as a result, he found himself desiring to be polite. At least for today.

Hearing Harry's voice, Luna forced herself to awaken. Throwing open the door she smiled at the Overlord. "Good morning, Harry! Did you have a pleasant day?"

"Very much so, thank you," he smiled. "Hermione and I were just going down to grab something to eat. She told me that it would be best to have you present for something about 'bad news' and 'weird news'?"

Luna bounced and clapped her hands. "Wonderful! I was so afraid that it would become pillow-talk and I would not be present when you heard it."

"Well, come on then."

Luna bounced out the door and started heading to the stairwell.

"Um … Luna?"

"Yes, Dark Master?"

"Wouldn't you like to put something on first?"

Luna looked down at her bare body. "Is there something wrong? Have I got something on my back?" She began to try to peer over her own shoulder as she started turning around in circles.

Harry shook his head and sighed. "No, Luna. There is nothing wrong. You're lovely as always. Just do me a favor and go grab a robe."

"Oh, pooh."

Once Luna had put on the sheerest robe she could find, she grabbed her wand and joined Harry in the hallway once again. After another shake of his head, they joined Hermione downstairs for breakfast. Once they had all finished their meals, Harry pushed himself back from the table.

"Alright … let's start off with the bad news."

"Well … the bad news can also be good news. It's all a matter of perspective," began Luna.

Hermione nodded. "And it's something better shown before being explained. The end result can go one of two ways. We need your help to perform the final test."

"Should we go to the throne room? We'll need to cast a few spells at each other," explained Luna.

Shrugging, Harry led them to their destination. "Okay … what do you need me to do?"

"Your 'electric lash' spell is a direct attack, right? Not something that affects an area?" At Harry's nod, Hermione continued, "Please cast it at Luna with the least power behind it that you can to begin with. That will let us know which of our theories are correct."

"Okay. Are you ready, Luna?" Harry waited until the blond drew her wand and nodded. Once she was ready for him, Harry lifted his left arm and flicked a minor burst of electrical energy at her.

"Clypeum," said Luna with a slight dip of her wand before the bolt could reach her. The energy seemed to strike an invisible shield and bounced off.

Luna and Hermione shared knowing looks.

Before Harry could ask anything, Luna asked, "Can you do that again? This time with as powerful a blast as you can manage?"

"Uhm … wait," interrupted Hermione. "If we continue this and get another deflection, well … maybe we should go somewhere else. There might be some damage."

"No worries, Mione. I've got hundreds of minions with nothing to do and several mistresses that would love nothing more than an excuse to redecorate. Don't worry about it."

Hermione shrugged. "It's your throne room, Harry."

"Ready?" Harry asked Luna once again. At her nod, he fired off another 'lash,' this time holding nothing back. He trusted these two women to know what they were doing.

Once again, an invisible shield was struck. The lightshow proved to be truly impressive and two demon statues were shattered by the deflected blast, but Luna's spell seemed to have no problem protecting her.

Harry whistled, impressed. "You've got to teach me that spell! At that level, my lash has split two-ton boulders in half!"

"I'm afraid you wouldn't find much use for it, Harry." Hermione looked upon him sadly. "Luna's spell was the weakest shield charm in the wizarding world. It's used primarily by children to protect themselves from jinxes. And only the most minor ones, at that."

"What? I don't understand."

"Wizard magic and Overlord magic are fundamentally different and completely incompatible. Yes, they follow the same 'laws' and rules, but the energies used by the magic … well, they're oil and water."

"But I can use both!"

"Nothing prevents that, Harry," Luna explained. "You are simply using two types of magic. A Charms Master can cast hexes. A quidditch player can play soccer. You can use wizard magic and your own."

Harry looked crestfallen. "So the only magic I have worth a damn in the Wizarding World is that of a sixteen-year-old with a little extra combat training."

"Not exactly," reassured Luna. "This is where 'perspective' comes into play. In a way, we lucked out."

"How so?"

"Well, Hermione and I saw that the magics were incompatible but, until we tested it, there were two possible results of the magics interacting. One is what we saw. The second possibility was that the magics would completely ignore each other. In that situation, yes, your electric lash would pass through a Protego like it wasn't there … but the weakest of stunners would do the same to your shield."

"It's really not that bad, Harry," came from Hermione. "Just think about it. Your Overlord magic still works … it just won't get through any wizarding shield. Most of which protect only one side of a small area. At the higher levels, your flame spell would still burn them. Your spells can do environmental damage or do damage by proxy. Your lash could destroy the floor beneath someone, for instance, even if they had a Protego cast."

"And the reverse holds true?"

"Absolutely," nodded Luna. "No wizarding magic should be able to pierce your 'halo' shield. And your shield has the benefit of being an all-encompassing sphere. According to our calculations, you could – while shielded – walk through a wall of Fiendfyre!"

"The same should hold true for the Unforgiveables, Harry. With your Overlord shield up, you should be able to ignore spells against which wizards have no defense!" promised Hermione.

Harry nodded after a bit of thought. This wasn't quite the disaster he had first assumed. There were both advantages and disadvantages to the magical situation. "That's definitely a lot to consider, ladies. Thank you. Now … do I really want to hear the last of the news?"

Hermione dropped her head to her chest and refused to look up. Luna started bouncing around with a smile on her face which seemed to stretch from ear-to-ear.

For the first time in his tenure as Overlord, Harry felt fear. He wasn't sure why, but there was something about the manic blond that made him want to run from his own throne room screaming. He could just feel "little-Luna" preparing to go off powerfully enough to make his head explode and scatter brain tissue throughout the chamber.

Luna jumped right in front of Harry and stared straight into his eyes.

Looking into those eyes, seeing that smile … Harry knew that any healer would have immediately given the girl a one-way ticket to the Janus Thickey ward with an armed escort.

"You are THE GREAT NECROMANCER, Harry Potter!" Luna happily announced.

"Uhrm … what?" Merlin's hairy arse, not this again! "Luna … I've already told you, I'm not –"

"Yes, Harry, you are. The Overlords are probably the most powerful necromancers that ever existed," interrupted Hermione.

"Uhrm … what!"

"We arithmantically dissected your spells then used an Avada Kedavra on several of the minions to make sure," Luna began.

"You've been killing my minions?"

"No, we haven't," assured Hermione. "That Unforgiveable basically separates the soul from a living being … quickly and crudely enough that the body switches off," she added to differentiate it from a Dementor's Kiss.

"It doesn't work on them because they are not living creatures!" explained Luna. "The easiest way to describe them is as the most advanced Inferi ever created!"

"But … but … they're alive! And Inferi are just mindless –" Harry was distracted by a minion racing into the room on the far side of the hall, chasing a rat while swinging its club. In its determination to catch the rat, it ended up smashing full speed into a wall. "—well, more mindless … puppets, I guess I would call them."

"Like robots?" offered Hermione.

"Well … yeah."

Luna rolled her eyes. "Okay, this is the part where she lost me. She said it's a muggle thing. Hopefully, you understand it more than I did."

Lifting her head, Hermione started chewing on her lower lip and pacing back and forth before the Overlord, obviously about to enter full "lecture-mode."

"Robots programmed to obey their master are the most apt comparisons, Harry. An Inferius is not a dead person brought back to life; it is the animation of something which just so happened to once have been a living body … which is then 'programmed' to follow its creator's instructions."

"Okay," nodded Harry. "I'm with you so far."

"Minions mimic life, but they are not alive. Souls are used by their hives in their construction, but they have no souls of their own."

"Wouldn't that make them … I dunno … all the same, then?"

Hermione nodded. "They are all created from the same 'template' related to their color. Bob and Gnibley were essentially the exact same creature when they were 'born.' And to get ahead of you before you object, yes, they are completely different now. That's what makes minions so advanced by comparison. Magic has trumped science and actually instilled them with a true 'A.I.' or artificial intelligence. Even though they are not alive, they learn and develop individually following their spawning."

Harry moved over to sit upon his throne. Well, none of this is bad … just strange. Gather soul orbs … make minions … deal with insane women. It's not like being a necromancer actually changes anything.

"Okay, so by making super-zombies I earned the title of Greatest Necromancer. Aside from making Luna's knickers soaked … I don't see what's the big deal."

Luna looked outraged. Not a big deal!

Hermione merely slapped a hand to her forehead and shrugged in disbelief. "It's not just your minions, Harry. You were brought back from the dead … something which magic clearly states is impossible! Aside from a few minor things like your 'flame' and 'shield' spells, almost everything which you do as an Overlord is necromancy beyond anything ever conceptualized!"

"Uhrr?" Harry grunted while looking questioningly at the brunette.

"Take your Drones as an example. Do you know how long the Imperius Curse lasts?"

"Um … well, I never really looked into it …."

"From an average witch or wizard, it would last one to three hours before needing to be renewed. Controlling the human mind is not easy. I could probably cast one which would last a day or two. Voldemort, Dumbledore, or you … I wouldn't be surprised if it lasted a week. How long does a Drone stay a Drone?"

"I don't think it has a duration. I've got Drones that have been that way for more than seven years."

"That's because you aren't controlling their minds," interjected Luna. "You've turned them into, literally, living zombies! Their own soul was used by your necromancy to power the conversion."

"Your Drones were reprogrammed. The template used instills total obedience to you, the Overlord. Haven't you ever noticed that they all say the same thing once they become a Drone? It's part of the script they were programmed with," Hermione continued the explanation.

Harry suddenly felt uncomfortable. He actually felt goosebumps appear on his arms and the back of his neck. "I've … I've been shagging dead people?"

"More like coma patients," offered Luna, trying to be helpful.

"Harry … calm down! No, you are not a necrophiliac." Rushing forward, Hermione placed her hand over his before he could hyperventilate. "Your Drones are not dead. Not all of the soul is consumed in the process. They remain living beings … an Avada Kedavra would kill them. The tiniest spark is all that seems to be required to make someone or something 'alive.' Remember Crouch Jr.'s Defense class?"

Quelling his panic, Harry asked, "You mean the spiders?"

"Yes, Harry, the spiders. They were living creatures. I'm not proficient in theology so have no idea what percentage of soul constitutes life, but if you'd like … we could summon one of your Hummers to discuss that with you."

Harry was immediately relaxed by the mischievous smile which Hermione had ended with. Merlin, what would I do without her? At the very least I'd be boiling myself in a bath and scrubbing my skin raw right about now!

"Having examined the magic used to create Drones, we can modify it. By using what Hermione calls a 'variable template' which copies the subject of the magic but adds in a few things like total obedience, we are certain that you could cast what would be equivalent to a permanent Imperius. Rather than a Drone, you could create a slave whom no one else could recognize as a slave." Luna decided to follow Hermione's lead and further distract the Overlord. "The most amazing part of your necromancy is the existence of true metempsychosis."

Completely lost, Harry looked to Hermione. "Moving a soul from point A to B," she clarified. "Something you do every time you collect a soul and send it to the tower to create a new minion. Something else considered impossible."

"And what's the significance of that?" asked a thoroughly confused Overlord.

Hermione slowly shook her head. Harry was a genius at the practical, but had no understanding of the theoretical. "That's why the dead are dead. There's been no way to return a departed soul to the body. You've opened the door to true resurrection!"

Harry collapsed back on his throne completely dumbfounded. Strangely enough, a name immediately sprang to his mind.

Tonks!

*** Sorry about not getting back to the revenge killings yet. Luna and her necromancy kind of took over.

*** No, that's not going to be the solution to Dumbledore. I have other plans. It was just to show that – as an Overlord – Harry cheats!

*** Luna's lunacy will continue in the background, but I want to center more on Harry. Rather than cover various stalkings and abductions, it will appear more as auror reports, Prophet articles, new tower decorations, and weird lines like "Luna … why are we having Nyotaimori with Lavender Brown?" I will not go into much detail … until it becomes a pertinent part of what Harry is involved with at the time. (Don't worry … Hermione is certain to come up with a fair schedule.)