Broken

Chapter 10:

Hatred

Jacob was frozen but soon reacted to the kiss. I pushed into it harder trying to feel a spark I felt with Edward, but nothing. I wanted to get over Edward, and I thought this might help but it doesn't.

I pulled away quickly, and my eyes were wide. Jacobs jaw dropped, and I put my face in my hands embarrassed.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! You probably have a girlfriend at home because you're obviously here with a child." I rambled on, and he chuckled shaking his head.

"Bella, relax its fine. I don't have a girlfriend, wife, or anything at home for that matter. My girlfriend left me with my daughter four years ago without a word. Don't worry about it." He told me, and I just stared at him. I just kissed Jacob. I kissed Jacob with Anthony at the monkey bars. Fuck, I hope he didn't see us.

I quickly looked for Anthony and relaxed when I saw him busy playing in the sandbox with a blond haired little girl.

"I'm sorry, that must have been a lot to deal with." I told him, and he nodded.

"Sure, but I got used it. Amie is the best thing that's ever happened to me." He said in awe. He obviously loved his daughter very much. I smiled.

"I know how you feel. I love Anthony with all my heart." I whispered. I tried my best to focus on Anthony, but I kept thinking about that kiss. I wanted to feel something for somebody besides Edward for once, but I didn't with Jacob. He was nothing more to me than a friend, or a brother like Jasper. I wonder if that's the same with Edward and Lauren…oh my god Edward! I just cheated on Edward with Jacob! I know we're kind of on a break right now, and I deserve to kiss somebody for once, but I still cheated. We're still married!

"Oh my god, what have I done?" I whispered, laying my head in my hands. Jacob looked at me concerned.

"Bella? You alright?" he asked sweetly, and I shook my head.

"No…I'm not. I just cheated on my husband!" I shouted, as my eyes watered. Jacob's jaw dropped as he pulled me into his arms.

"Bella calm down. It's alright." He soothed. I gripped his shirt, and nodded.

"Bella…what happened to you?" he whispered with full concern in his voice. I took a shaky breath.

"My husband Edward…cheated on me." I whispered slowly, and I heard Jacob gasp.

"You don't deserve that."

"Yes. Yes I do. I was a horrible mother, and a horrible wife! I ran my husband into the arms of that slut Lauren Mallory." I shouted, and Jacob shook his head.

"Bella, you're anything but a horrible mother. Anthony obviously loves you. As for being a wife, I wouldn't know but I bet you were amazing too. Don't let a fuck up like him bring you down." Jacob whispered, and I nodded.

"Thanks Jacob." I whispered, and he nodded.

"So…about that kiss." He trailed off. I looked at my feet and blushed.

"Can't we just put that behind us?" I asked, and Jacob let out a deep breath.

"Oh good, I was going to ask the same thing. Don't get mad Bella but I find you more like a sister than a girlfriend anyways." He told me, and I smiled big.

"Good, I was thinking the same thing." I told him and he laughed. I laughed along with him and went back to watching own kids. They look so happy, and care free. I missed being a kid. Honestly, I felt like a kid on the inside sometimes, but lately that kid disappeared.

But only Edward was to blame.

After my chat with Jacob, and Anthony having his fun at the park with Amie, we headed home where we ordered a pizza for dinner. Rose left me some money, and I was thankful for that. She was always so helpful when it came to my problems.

I watched as Anthony ate a slice of cheese pizza as he watched TV on Disney channel. He was sitting on the couch, and I was in the lazy boy a crossed from him. He was glued to the television. If somebody broke in, he probably wouldn't even notice.

I took a bite of my slice when the phone rang.

"I'll get it." I told Anthony, but he didn't budge. Wow.

"Hello?" I answered, chewing my pizza quickly and swallowing.

"Bella..." Edward whispered, and my heart stung at his voice. He sounded so hurt, and broken.

"Edward if you're calling to brag about your new girlfriend then I don't want to hear it!" I snapped, and Edward sighed.

"Bella…please let me explain." He begged, and I sighed while walking into another room.

"You got two minutes. Go." I demanded, and I heard him take a deep breath.

"Two minutes isn't long enough." He whispered.

"Fine, one minute." I gritted through my teeth. He's so ungrateful.

"I'll take two minutes then." He told me, and I bit my lip.

"Edward if this is going to take I'll night then I'm hanging up." I told him, and I heard him fumble around with something on the other end.

"No, please don't hang up!" he begged.

"Fine, but start talking." I demanded.

"Alright. Bella…when I called you last, Lauren was there, but I wasn't having sex with her or any of the sort. I called her over to…end things." He told me, and my eyebrows furrowed.

"End things?" I asked, sitting down on my bed. He sighed.

"Yes Bella. Even though nothing was going on between us besides that one night, I wanted Lauren to know that nothing was going on between us. She kept thinking that were dating, and that I loved her but I didn't." he explained. My heart stung at the word loved.

"You don't?" I asked as tears welled up in my eyes from relief.

"No Bella. I only love you, why don't you understand that!" he shouted, and I flinched.

"I…I don't know Edward." I whispered, and he sighed into the phone.

"Can I see you?" he requested, and I thought about it. Should I see Edward? I did miss him. A lot. Plus we still needed to talk about things.

"I don't know if that's a good idea Edward." I whispered honestly.

"Bella please. Just…meet up with me. It can be anywhere you want, and as long as you want. Just please let me see you." He begged, and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"F-fine Edward." I stuttered, and I heard Edward gasp.

"Really?" he asked happily.

"Yes…but I want it to be somewhere public so you won't get too…angry." I told him choosing my words carefully. I heard Edward chuckle.

"Of course Bella. How about Starbucks? It's public, and one of your favorites." Edward sang into the phone, and I giggled. He remembered.

"It's perfect Edward." I whispered.

"Bella…I…I l-love you." Edward stuttered. It sounded like he was crying, and my heart broke. I let a tear fall but I quickly wiped it away.

"I love you too Edward." I told him honestly.

"Why won't you just please come home?" he begged, and I sighed.

"You hurt me Edward." I whispered.

"I know, but Anthony deserves to sleep warm in his bed." He told me, and I nodded. He was right.

"Your right but I don't want to come home until I trust you." I heard Edward sigh.

"I guess I deserve that." He whispered. I took a deep breath.

"I got to go. Meet me at Starbucks on Huckleberry road tomorrow at ten." I whispered.

"Alright…I'll be there." He told me, and I smiled.

"Goodbye Edward." I whispered, and he chuckled.

"No Bella…see yah later." He told me using my old line. I chuckled.

"Yeah…see yah later." I replied hanging up the phone. I smiled as plopped backwards on the bed. I hope we work this out for all three of us.

I was sitting in starbucks by the window with a French vanilla cappuccino in my hands. I was waiting for Edward to arrive. He wasn't late, I was early. I sighed and looked at my outfit. I was wearing a black "free hugs" T-shirt with a pair of skinny jeans. Along with the outfit I wore black Toms, and the charm bracelet Edward bought me in high school.

I sighed, and watched the people past by the window. I missed Anthony already. Rose offered to watch him along with Alice. I love those two. They were so considerate to my problems.

I leaned back in my chair as I turned the doorbells, and in walked Edward with all his glory. His body looked hot, but his face looked like shit. He had dark bags under his eyes, and he looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days. You could tell he tried to tame the beast that was his hair but failed.

He was wearing a tight black V-neck t-shirt that complimented his abs nicely. Along with it he wore a pair of dark jeans, and black vans. He looked hot!

I stood from where I was standing and gave him a small smile. Edward smirked at me.

"I want a free hug." He stated, and I blushed looking down at my shirt. Edward chuckled and I pulled him in for a quick hug. He squeezed me tightly before pulling away.

"I already got my drink, but you can order if you want." I told him as we both sat down facing each other. He shook his head.

"No, it's already I'm not that thirsty. How long have you been here?" he asked, running his fingers through his hair. I shrugged.

"Ten minutes. Don't worry you weren't late. I was early." I told him, and he smiled small.

"So…you wanted to talk?" he asked slowly, and I nodded.

"Yes." I said simply.

"About?" he asked.

"Well…I want to talk about our living situations, and you being able to see Anthony but most importantly…about us saving our marriage." I finished, and he just stared at me before replying.

"Of course Bella. I'll start. "He offered, and I nodded.

"Bella…believe me when I say I'm sorry. I know you probably can't find it in your heart to forgive me, but please find it in your heart to believe me when I say I'm sorry, and I love you. I missed you Bella. I missed coming home to my wife cooking me nice homemade dinners, and my son asking me to help him with his homework. I want you to come home Bella." He started off, and I took a shaky breath trying my hardest not to cry.

"Edward, as much as I want to come home…I don't know If I can." I whispered honestly, and he looked hurt.

"I know Bella. I'm not saying that you'll immediately have to go back to sleeping in the same bed with me or anything. I'm saying to come home. You can take the bedroom, and I'll sleep in the guest room or vice versa if it makes your decision easier." He pleaded, and I bit my lip. I wanted to forgive, and mostly forget so much but I can't.

"I just can't Edward. I'm sorry!" I told him, and he looked down in shame.

"Then…can I have my key back?" he asked, and I looked at him in shock.

"What?" I asked and he looked me in the eyes. He looked like he was stabbed in the gut.

"Can I have my house key back please?" he asked, and my jaw dropped. I felt the tears well up in my eyes.

"Your house key? Your house key?" I asked, and he nodded. I let the tears fall as I stood from my chair and left the store to avoid any public humiliation.

He wanted his key back. His house key meaning that it was no longer my house where I wasn't wanted anymore.

I walked quickly, and I heard footsteps behind me. Probably Edward.

I felt somebody grab my arm, and I stopped. I looked at the person and found it to be Edward.

"What?" I asked through my teeth, and he looked at me hard. Edward looked broken.

"Can I have it or not?" he asked hurt, and I shook my head. I frantically search my pockets until I found the key.

"Here" I shouted, throwing it at his feet. He didn't budge. He just stared at me. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I let myself cry. I didn't care anymore. At the moment I felt so much hatred towards Edward It hurt.

"I hate you." I whispered, and Edward's eyes widened.

"What?" he asked.

"I hate you. I hate you so much." I whispered, and he shook his head.

"No, no you don't." he whispered, grabbing my chin softly. He was right, I didn't. I took a deep breath.

"Your right, I don't but I should." I whispered, and he nodded.

"I'd be lying if I said you shouldn't." he whispered.

We both just stood there, staring at each other.

"Bella, I didn't ask for my key back to be a dick, or say that you couldn't come home anymore…I asked for it because…I changed the locks." He whispered. I froze at those words. What? He wasn't kicking me out?

"You weren't kicking me out?" I whispered, and he laughed shaking his head.

"No silly girl. I changed the locks. They were pretty old and didn't work." He explained, and I looked down at my feet and blushed.

"God I'm so stupid." I whispered, and Edward chuckled.

"No, you're not…just silly." He joked, and I laughed.

"I'm sorry Edward…for overreacting I mean." I told him, and he sighed.

"I should be the one apologizing Bella. I hurt you so much it's not forgivable." He whispered and I shook his head.

"Forgivable? Yes. Forgettable? No." I told him, and he smiled.

"Are you forgiving me?" he asked, and I bit my lip.

"Not fully." I whispered, and he nodded.

"I understand." He told me and I smiled.

"Edward…I want you to see Anthony." I whispered, and he looked at me confused.

"Really?" He asked with a big smile.

"Yes. He deserves to see his father. Besides, he loves you...and I know how much you love him." I whispered. Edward then pulled me into a tight hug. I laughed and hugged him back.

"Thank you so much Bella." He told me and I smiled.

"Your welcome." I whispered into his neck. I thought about everything that's gone on and it dawned on me. I still love Edward, with all my heart and soul.

Well then I guess its official.

My name's Isabella Cullen, and I'm still in love with my husband Edward Cullen.

Haha, well that was a twist wasn't it? And if anyone watches teen wolf, you'll know I got that house key scene from the new episode.

Was the lock thing too cheesy? Review.

Outfits on profile. :D