a/n: There is no apology great enough to say how sorry I am for keeping you guys waiting so long. There's nothing I can say that makes it better. But I am sorry. I feel terrible for keeping you guys waiting over a month. I just had horrible writers block, and this was stressing me out SO much, and I already had SO much on my mind already. And idk it's just been really "EH" for me lately, and... I don't know. My excuses don't make a difference. I'm sorry.

But thank you so much for the reviews. It took me a while, but I wrote this chapter for you guys. Thank you.

July 21, 2005

She sits in front of Alex at a coffee shop, feeling peevish. She doesn't know why she trusts Toby so much. Emily didn't mention any obscure behavior from Alex. Yes, it's true that she believes in the best of people, but she isn't stupid. She's not gullible. She lives with him. If he was some crazy psychopath than Emily would notice, right?

"You seem off…" he notes. "Something on your mind?" he asks.

"I just…" she starts, swallowing. She looks up, trying to find the right way to put this. "You know this is just… a silly, fun thing right?"

He looks at her, perplexed. "I'm not sure what you're referring to."

"Us." She states. "Us. We are just… we're just… having fun."

He nods. "I'm having a lot of fun."

"Yeah, it's been fun, but it's… like, it's not going to continue after I leave."

Silence follows her words. She looks away from him. She can't stand this conversation. She desperately wishes he would just catch on, so they could move on from it.

"Oh," he states a moment later. "I see…" he breathes.

"I thought we both just… knew."

"I didn't," Alex says. "I mean, I know that we have only been on a couple dates, but I really like you Spencer."

Spencer tries to give him a smile, but it's shaky. "I like you too, Alex, but I mean. It's…just… it's not…"

He stares at her, hanging on to every word. It feels like a punishment. She doesn't even know how to put this. "The distance, you know? It just. I mean, it kind of ruins everything."

"I know it's early," he sighs. "I know I must sound crazy…"

Spencer swallows.

"But, I don't know, I just… I feel like you get me," he places his hand over hers. "I feel like we have the potential to be something brilliant."

She sucks on her lower lip, stifling a breath. She likes Alex. Or liked, at least. But never did she ever feel like he was the one. Not that she really believes that there is just one perfect person out there for you, but she never saw him as someone who she could want to be with forever. Sure, it's early still. He could change her mind possibly. But the connection just doesn't seem to be there. She doesn't see the potential between them. She isn't sure if Alex is just making it up, or imaging it.

"I just… I don't feel the same way. I'm sorry."

He frowns. She pulls her hand away from hers.

"Look, Alex, if I knew that… I would have never…"

"Lead me on?" he hisses out. "Used me?"

"I wasn't," she sighs. "It's not like that. I thought…"

"You thought wrong," he growls. He steps up from the seat. "You can't just mess with people like that, Spencer. It's wrong."

"I," she tries, standing up. "I didn't know you thought of me in that way."

"No. No, just stop, okay? Stop trying to justify it for yourself," he tells her in hard words.

A long, tense moment passes between them. "I want you out."

"What?" she asks.

"Out. Out of the apartment. I'm no longer okay with you being there."

"Alex… c'mon. That's…"

"What? Mean? And what you did to me… what was that?"

She pins her lips together, her mouth forming a straight line. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't even know if she wants to stay at the apartment anymore. Not if this drama is going to be there. But where else is she supposed to stay? She doesn't have the kind of money to spend on a hotel.

"Alex, you're being unreasonable. You can't just throw me out."

"It's my apartment. I live there!" he exclaims, rather loudly. A few people look towards him, looking concerned.

"Alex, just calm down, okay?"

"I don't want to see you there," he points a finger her way. "You can tell one of your friends to pack your stuff."

Spencer stands still and quiet, unsure how to handle the situation. Everyone is staring at them. They have completely caused a scene. "Alex if we could just discuss this somewhere more private…" she requests in a quieter voice.

"There's nothing up for discussion," he barks out before stomping out of the coffee shop.

Spencer exhales slowly before meeting all of the staring eyes. Once she meets the crowd's eyes, they glance away, acting as if they hadn't just been watching her every move. She rolls her eyes sharply before exiting the coffee shop. She doesn't know where Alex went. He drove here to meet her.

But Toby is parked a little ways down the road. He said he would wait for her. He didn't trust Alex, and didn't' know what to expect. At first she was annoyed that he waited. She could handle the situation herself. But now she's sort of relieved he is here.

She knocks on the passenger window of Toby's truck, silently asking him to open the door. He opens it, letting her in. She hops in, sighing as soon as she hits the seat.

She doesn't say anything. He watches her closely.

"I'm assuming it didn't go well…"

"Are you kidding?" she turns to him. "It went fantastic. Can't you tell?"

She sighs, looking up. "He wants me out of the apartment."

Toby's eyebrows twist. "He can't do that."

"He can though," Spencer shakes her head. "I don't live there. He does."

"Well, I say you can stay there, so his vote is invalid."

"Thanks, but…" she sighs, looking down. "I can't go back there."

"I won't let him say anything to you," Toby promises.

"That's really nice of you. Everything you've done is really kind…" she notes, "but I just can't," she meets his eyes. "I don't like drama."

"Then I'll kick him out."

She laughs, thinking it's a joke.

"I'm serious," he states.

Her smile drops. "You can't. What? Why would you do that?"

"I want to anyway."

"Toby, stop," she laughs breathily, putting a hand on his arm. Their eyes lock in concentration, her smile slowly fading. She keeps her arm there, and he doesn't move. "I'm not going back."

He frowns, looking at her sadly.

She pulls her hand away from him, setting it on her own lap. Her eyes follow her hands.

"Then where will you stay?"

"I won't," she sighs. "I'm just going to go home."

"But you're supposed to be here for another week," Toby states.

"I'll just tell Emily that I have work to do. She'll understand. Hanna can stay. I'll give her money for the train."

"You shouldn't have to leave."

"It's okay," she locks eyes with him, her voice soft. "Really, it is."

"I just need a favor."

He bounces up an eyebrow.

"Actually two…" she scrunches up her face. "I know you've already helped me so much, but…"

"What is it?" he prompts.

"I need you to convince Alex to keep his mouth shut about this…I don't want Emily or Hanna finding out about this. I don't want to ruin the trip for Hanna. If she knows, she'll come back with me, or something. And Emily will be left, feeling guilty and horrible because she let be cozy up to Alex. It's just… it'll be a mess."

He nods, "all right. I'll do my best, but Alex can be… difficult."

"If you can't get him quiet, It's okay," Spencer assures him.

"Next," she starts. "Could you maybe go talk to him somewhere else? Like take him somewhere? I need to go back to the apartment to collect my things, but he said that he doesn't want me there. At all."

Toby's lips pin together in a straight line. He inhales sharply. "He can't just do that to you," Toby exhales. "It's not right."

"I know, but… it's just for the better if I listen to his demands. It works out better for everyone this way."

"Not you," Toby's eyes connect with hers. "You're forced to leave town, cut your vacation short. And for what reason? Because you didn't like some guy back? That's bull shit, Spencer."

"I know," Spencer agrees. "I know. But I just," she closes her eyes. "It's just better this way."

Toby sighs.

"Just please do this for me?" she tries.

He nods slowly, "I will. I'll do it. I just… don't like it."

"Thank you," Spencer breathes.

He nods. "It's no problem."

"Stop saying it's no problem," Spencer groans. "It is a problem. This isn't just no problem."

A little bit of a smile appears on the man's face. "It's no problem," he says softly, teasingly.

The corners of her lip whips up into a small smile, her mocha eyes sparkling at him. All she can think about right now is kissing him. All she wants to do is kiss him. She just wants to lean in and kiss him. But she can't. She has to respect his girlfriend. She can't do this again.

She stares away finally, sighing. "Okay… let's do this."

"Wait," he says. He turns to her, sort of smiling. She stares at him with awaiting eyes. "I just want to say that it was nice meeting you," he tells her. "Really."

She smiles. She didn't expect to smile, but she does. "It was nice meeting you too," she replies easily. "Really," she says, slightly teasing him.

He chuckles, gleaming at her. "I think we would have been great friends," he tells her solemnly.

She curtly nods. She doesn't really see them as friends. Not really. But it doesn't matter.

"Just keep in touch, mmk?" he tells her.

"Okay," she smiles. "You too," she tells him. "Give me your email. We can be pen pals."

"Really? Pen pals?" he chuckles at her.

She glares at him.

"Fine. We can be pen pals."

She smiles. "Don't knock it until you try it."

"I'm not bashing email. It's the pen pals I'm laughing at."

She laughs with him, their eyes catching each other's after a moment. She stares at him, her laughter fading into the background; the sound of their breathing filling the empty space between them instead. A soft smile plays out on her lips. She seems to smile like this a lot around him. It's a smile of relaxation—a smile of contempt.

"I hope we'll get the pleasure of meeting again someday," Spencer says solemnly.

Toby nods his head a little, "I'm sure we will."

"You're very optimistic, aren't you?" Spencer replies, perking up an eyebrow.

He smirks, "I consider myself more of a realist," he shrugs.

Spencer offers a curt nod. "Well, it's not goodbye yet. You still have to help me, remember?" Spencer reminds him.

"I know, but once we get back, I'll be going with Alex… who knows if I'll see you after that."

"Maybe you are a realist," Spencer states with squinted eyes.

He chuckles slightly at this. "I told you."

"Well, goodbye then," she leans forward, wrapping her arms around him in a surprise hug. His arms wove around her body, pulling her closer. As her body settles beside him, she feels a rush of relaxation hit her. This feels right. Her body seems well fitted with his.

"Goodbye," he replies without pulling away.

The hug is lasting too long for normalcy, but neither pull away. She wants to savor this feeling of contentment. She's never felt so well fitted in someone's arms. He holds her in a way that relieves all her troubles.

But alas the hug comes to an end. Each lean away. For a moment it feels as if they are about to kiss. They remain close, their hands still touching each other's bodies. Their eyes lock in a pull of lust and affection.

The feeling only lasts a couple seconds though. Toby is soon looking away and bringing his arms back to his side. Spencer looks away, feeling slightly upset and rejected.

He has a girlfriend, she reminds herself. Even if he didn't, she's leaving.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he looks over to her after a moment.

She nods, "yeah. Let's go."