Finding Yourself
The Proposal

Wednesday, November 26th, 2003
There was an offensive odor lingering in the kitchen, strongest where the floorboards where visible through the melted layers of linoleum. The dark haired woman glared helplessly at the offending area, her nose wrinkled in disgust—the smell reminded her of when a tupperware lid had gotten stuck beneath the heater in the dishwasher, which had left a likewise unpleasant smell that had lasted for days. She had already sprayed a fragrant aerosol spray to mask the scent but it had only lasted for a few moments. She had even tried to remove the cause of the smell by using a spell to make the hole in her floor disappear… unfortunately it hadn't had the desired effect.

Piper had decided the moment he had erupted into a burst of blazing hot fire that the fault for her ruined floor rested with the blasted halfbreed whitelighter, Chris Perry. If he hadn't used whatever demonic powers he clearly possessed, then she wouldn't be standing here trying to figure out how to remove the outcome of said powers—and Piper fully intended to call him on it once he returned because she honestly couldn't wait to see what kind of excuse he would pull out of his ass for having demonic powers.

Dark brown eyes slid over to the bald man Chris had brought with him into her home. She had recognized him from the Book of Shadows the moment she laid eyes on him, and had acted accordingly though she couldn't remember what the page on him said exactly. It didn't matter, really, because he was a demon. Chris had even admitted it during their little discussion earlier. The only thing that was keeping her from unleashing her wrath on him as a way to relieve herself of some of the pent up anger she felt, was that Leon and Leo were both standing very close to him, speaking in low tones that she had long since given up trying to decipher.

Piper was momentarily distracted from her glare when her younger sister paced in front of her yet again, muttering under her breath in a combination of agitation and worry. "There're still not back yet," Phoebe was saying. Piper could not blame her sister for feeling this way, really. If it were her future daughter—or son in her case—she would be concerned also. And she was, to some extent, worried about her future niece.

However it was a bit difficult to care about someone you didn't know, especially since they seemed to have no intention of allowing you to know them. Piper was still having a difficult time digesting that Phoenicia apparently hated them no matter which state of mind she was in. She knew Phoebe had gone through a stage of rebellion where she pretended as if she hated Grams but Phoenicia seemed genuine in her feelings. What could they have possibly done to warrant such emotions from their own flesh and blood? It just didn't seem right to her. And she wasn't sure she liked the fact that Chris seemed to be close to her niece and her husband—ex-husband, the unhelpful part of her brain just had to supply.

With a heavy self reproving sigh, Piper had to concede that she couldn't blame everything on the young man, no matter how much she wanted to. It wasn't his fault that he seemed to have earned Phoenicia and Leon's loyalty for God only knows what reason. And if she were honest with herself, he genuinely seemed to care about her niece and she had noticed that he seemed to hold Leon in high regard if the questioning glances he had been giving the older man were anything to go by, as if he were trying to gain approval or permission.

Kind of how a child would seek approval from their parent… she dismissed that thought immediately though.

"They should be back by now," Phoebe said, continuing to pace restlessly while she chewed on her nails. "Right?"

Piper sighed and attempted to give her younger sibling a comforting look. "Honey," she said soothingly. "Time works differently up there, remember? Only moments have passed for them," However her words had the opposite of her desired effect, and she only managed to make Phoebe even more upset.

"But you were gone for months," Phoebe cried, her eyes wide in dismay. "I can't wait that long without knowing anything!"

"Actually," Leon cut in, his voice tight, looking at his sister-in-law steadily. "When a lockdown is initiated they reverse the time delay magic so that more time can pass up there and less time will pass down here. They do it that way so they can test to see if they have the right person, and if they don't, they can go through each person who was in the room one by one until they do. The test takes about ten hours, and it's already been twenty minutes. They've already had her there for almost a whole day."

Leon wasn't trying to pacify her, or comfort her even. He was telling them the grim truth and they all understood that fact. He wasn't saying that they would be back soon—he was telling them that for Chris and Phoenicia it could be days for them, and the effects more damaging. No one spoke for the longest time, each all caught up in their own apprehensive thoughts. And suddenly both Leo and Leon glanced towards the ceiling in surprise as they felt the lockdown unfurl itself from their ability to travel, and the sudden presence of two distinct magical signatures appearing up stairs.

"There're here," Leo explained shortly.

Phoebe let out a relieved sigh, smiling. "Thank God,"

Leon intercepted her when she made for the stairs. "No, Phoebe," he said quietly, holding out a hand to quell her protests. He shook his head. "Don't. If you go up there you have the risk of being turned into a cinder block. Chris won't allow anything near her for a while if she is in a similar state as she was the first time this happened. They are going to be on the defense no matter who you are. Friend or foe, it doesn't matter. Let him have a moment with her, and let them come to us."

"But—"

"I know you're worried. I am too," he admitted. "But it's best to let them work it out together. They'll come to us when they're ready."

"Why?" Paige asked, though her voice was more curious than it was condemning. "Wouldn't it be better for other people to talk to them about what happened? I mean, I know we don't know what happened, but Phoebe is a psychology major and I've had to take some courses when I was a social worker… aren't we suited to deal their emotional state? Wouldn't we be able to help them?"

"No, Paige, you would just make it worse," he told her, though he appreciated her effort. It didn't escape him that she had said 'their emotional state' instead of just 'her'. She was including Chris in this, obviously knowing that this situation would have a great emotional impact on him as well. He smiled at her. "Chris and Phoenicia share a very close and special bond. If you were to try and get between them in any way right now, I can guarantee that you wouldn't live to regret it. The bond they share is also very fragile at the moment,"

Phoebe's eyes bulged, and her voice took on a very high octave. "Wait… are they married?"

Piper stared at her incredulously, finding the mere idea to be ridiculous, but even she looked to Leon, desperate for him to either deny or admit it. Paige merely blanched, finding the image of the two together to be highly disturbing for some reason. And Leo himself choked on air, recalling his previous thoughts on the subject, realizing just how ludicrous the notion really was now that he knew the truth.

"When I say bond, I mean a literal bond that binds their souls together," Leon rolled his eyes, quickly elaborating before they took that out of context as well. "There are several different forms of a soul bond. The one you are referring to, a marriage bond is usually entered during certain types of weddings or a hand fastening. This is typically only a true bond if the indented are soulmates. It is rare but not unheard of. However the type of bond that Chris and Phoenicia share is a twin bond. No," he interrupted before the girls even had a chance to open their mouths. "This does not mean they are brother and sister in the traditional sense. Astral twins are siblings, yes, however they each have their own set of biological parents."

"… So he's not my son?"

"No!" Leon grimaced, horrified by the thought. "He's really not."

Piper gave him a weary look. "Then what are you saying?"

"Astral twins are born at exactly the same moment in time, down to the last second," Leon explained to them. "They share souls. Normally it is said that their souls are separated as they take their first breaths, and that they exchange that half, therefore irrevocably boding the two of them together. Biologic twins usually experience this phenomenon as well. With this exchange they can sense each other's thoughts, their emotions, and it is said that some twins can even share certain powers through their bond. Astral twins experience this on a much deeper level. Understand?"

Phoebe frowned slightly, nodding her head. "I think so…"

"I… I think I get it," Paige said. "Does that mean… that we knew, or will know… Chris?"

"What?" Piper frowned. "No, no we didn't know him. Don't be—"

Paige cut her off with a glare. "As I was saying," she said. "The mothers consider these children theirs, right? Even the one that doesn't belong to them biologically, because of the bond they share?" She waited until Leon nodded before continuing. "Well, wouldn't that mean… that Phoebe thought of Chris like a son? And that he was around us a lot… I mean," Her eyes widened in excitement as she realized what she was saying. "It would explain how he knew his way around the house when he arrived, like he had been here before, because he would have been here, just in the future. He was around us all the time." she concluded proudly.

Chris was going to kill him, Leon knew. After everything that boy had done, was doing to conceal his identity, and Leon had just pointed them in the right direction. Although, he couldn't say that he was worried or even ashamed that he had revealed as much. The way he saw it, the closer they were to the truth, the closer Chris was to healing, and most importantly, being born.

All were silent when the young man in question shuffled into the room. He looked terrible, and pitiful, and Leon just wanted to wrap his son up into his arms and never let him go. He resisted of course, knowing it would be unappreciated. When Chris looked up, there was evidence of tears in his eyes, the slight reddening and puffiness visible, as well as his prior rage in the iridescent golden gleam to his irises.

"Damien," he said quietly, his voice a bit hoarse. He cleared his throat. "Could you please go back to the cave and bring me the small box of phials with the rest of the potion? Please?" He watched with gratefulness as the enormous bald man seemingly vanished into the shadows, going to do as he asked. Chris released a heavy breath and looked around the room, noting the speculative stares with one of his own. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "She had a bit of a relapse…but I think she'll be okay,"

Phoebe smiled slightly. "Thank God,"

Chris responded with a solemn nod. "I'll have to wait until she wakes up to be completely sure, and we may have to give her the potion every day, like a medication. But she should be okay."

Leon placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, squeezing slightly. He was about to offer some words, something, anything that might help make his son feel better, but Damien chose that moment to reappear with the items Chris had asked for. Chris excused the two of them and he and Damien moved into the parlor so they could speak privately for a moment.

"Don't,' Leon cautioned to Piper as she edged towards the door to eavesdrop.

"Why not?" she huffed.

"Because," Leo answered for him. "Trust works both ways."

Although Piper seemed unsure she stepped away from the door, opting to sit down beside Paige instead. When Chris came back he was alone, and Leon guessed that he'd asked Damien to go home because everyone was already edgy, and the girls were already just itching to get rid of the shadow demon. Chris stopped in the center of the room, his hands balled into tight fists at his side. He released a long breath and flexed his fingers, looking up slowly.

"What happened?" Leon frowned at him in concern. "What did you do?"

The young man stiffened, his voice taking on a hard edge. "Nothing more than they deserved." he said tightly, not offering any more of an explanation than that, his eyes daring any of them to contradict him. No one said a word, staring at him warily until he seemed to calm down. "… Before this," Chris gestured helplessly, wincing at the sight of the melted linoleum. "This happened... Phoenicia and I were discussing something… something important."

"The prophecy she made?"

"Partly," Chris admitted. "She was already planning this without me, but her prophecy is what made me agree. I wouldn't have even considered, because it will be taking such a large risk…" He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair anxiously. "We're making Wyatt…. his situation a second priority."

Piper's voice was cold when she spoke over the silence. "You're doing what?"

Chris grimaced, crossing his arm defensively over his chest. "We're not going to stop looking for whatever or whoever… does that to him," he said delicately. "It's just… his situation seems doesn't seem as important as something else. He's still alive in the future, I mean, sure, he's a great big pain in the ass, and he doesn't really have a conscience, but he isn't really a huge threat…"

"I don't get it," Paige frowned. "You said Wyatt was the only reason you were in the past."

Chris looked at her, wondering how he could explain this. He would have to be very careful in choosing his words lest he say something damning. "He was," he agreed. "Wyatt is probably the only one who can solve all our problems, and… and I guess I was just hoping that by changing his fate, it would change everything." Of course, that wasn't completely true. Chris would have been content if all he got was his big brother back. They could have figured out another way to save the world. "But Phoenicia… she reminded me of a few things."

Leon felt a sense of dread as he read the tone of voice. "Chris… what were you two planning?"

Licking his lips hesitantly, Chris tried to gather his courage. He had been counting on Phoenicia to be the one to do the explaining but she said that they had to tell them soon, because the next few days were critical. He wasn't sure why exactly, though he had not questioned her judgment. And, if he were honest with himself, she was right that he had to be more honest with them if he wanted to earn their trust back. Not that he would ever tell her that—she probably knew already anyway.

"Our plan is to expose magic—"

Of course, their reactions were to be expected.

Phoebe choked on air. "Excuse me?"

"You can't!" Leo protested.

"Are you crazy?" Paige asked in disbelief.

"Do you know how hard we have worked to prevent exposure?" demanded Piper.

A muscle in his jaw twitched irritably as he waited for them to calm down. "Are you quite finished?" he asked tersely, arching an eyebrow airily. He was faced with several affronted looks at his tone, though he was pleased to see that his father seemed to understand. It eased his spirits to know that he had Leon's approval. "As I was saying, our plan is to expose magic. Not to everyone, at least… not yet. This process with probably take decades before magic is a common place again…. but exposure is inevitable."

Leo shook his head. "No it's not,"

"Will you at least let me finish?" Chris sighed. "It is inevitable, and even if you won't admit it, somewhere deep inside, you know it's true. Magic wasn't meant to be hidden or… or confined like this. It attempts to break free as much as possible, and all you and everyone else have been doing is postponing it. The thing is… you've been under the misconception that all magic is, is energy that you can harness." He met everyone's eye. "It's not. It's sentient, it's… alive. And the taboos placed on magic by the Tribunal are making it very, very angry and it wants to be free, and it will break free from the confinements placed on it… in roughly fourteen years. And nothing anyone will do will be able to stop it."

"What taboos?" Phoebe asked.

Surprisingly, Paige was the one to answer. "He's talking about personal gain,"

Chris smiled. "That's right. The personal gain laws restrict magical people from using their full potential. Granted, there are some spells that should never be used, some spells that are too dangerous, but most of the so called personal gain spells are harmless. The only reason that they are controlled at such a great degree is because the Tribunal wants it that way."

"And what, exactly, is the Tribunal?"

"It's who the Elder's answer to," Leo told her.

Leon nodded in confirmation. "The Tribunal is formed of three former Elders, and three upper class demons that came together thousands of years ago," he explained easily, making it obvious that he was well versed in this particular subject. "They believed that they were the ultimate power, and thus should be the ones do decide what was acceptable and what wasn't. But, as you all know, absolute power corrupts absolutely. In their arrogance, they created the laws to restrict witches and demons who they felt could overpower them, so that they could never tap into their full potential. Eventually, their laws spread throughout the magical community, and to enforce it they began to monitor magic levels and if anyone broke their laws, they would cause consequences…"

Phoebe shook her head. "Good and evil working together to control people…? That didn't work out so great the last time they tried it. Demons can't be trusted,"

"It wasn't the demons who suggested the laws," Chris said coolly, narrowing his eyes at her. "Contrary to popular belief, Phoebe, demons are all born neutral, just as all humans are. What they become is based on society and their environment. Isn't that what you were all fighting about the other day?"

Paige nodded. "Nature verses nurture."

"Then why is it every demon we've ever met has tried to kill us?" Piper asked dryly.

"… As I said, some magic should never be used," Chris said, shivering against the sudden chill down his spine as he began speaking. "The Tribunal, however, has no regard for the sanctity of life. They don't care if they… destroy something incredibly precious. So they decided to use ancient magic, forbidden magic. Magic that reaches into someone and… rips their soul out." He swallowed thickly. "Demons, witches and mortals alike, they began removing the souls of innocents. Sometimes they kept the souls, others they just destroyed them. That is what true evil is. To knowingly destroy another person so completely, so utterly… that they cease to exist…"

Leon gave up on keeping pretenses and placed an arm over his son's shoulder, drawing him close. "They didn't anticipate that magic would be targeted by mortals for the way people began changing, and that is what caused the accord to keep magic a secret… a veil of secrecy, of sorts. Mortals on one side and the magical on the other."

"I've never heard anything like that," Leo admitted softly.

Chris smiled bitterly. "That's because they're good at keeping secrets," he said. "No one really knew, for the longest time, until magic was finally revealed. They screwed up, and the Illuminati discovered what they had done but before they could act… the Tribunal just kind of… disappeared. Anyway, the reason you haven't met many… nice demons is because the majority of them live in hiding, along with most of the magical population. Technically, they live in the Underworld, or at least a part of it. You've probably never seen the Midlands, have you?" He didn't seem very surprised when they all shook their heads. "What have you seen?"

"The Underworld," Paige answered.

"… and the Wastelands," Phoebe added.

Piper sighed. "Limbo,"

Chris nodded thoughtfully. "Okay. The Underworld is made up of different sections. You've seen only one of those sections, the maze of caves where some of the… more unsavory demons and witches live, so it's no mystery there why you haven't met many of the nice ones. At the very bottom of the Underworld is the closest to Hell you can get without actually dying. There is no real name for it, though that is where the darkest of souls live. From there is Purgatory, a prison of sorts for some of the most dangerous, though not necessarily bad people."

"Anyone who could potentially overpower the Tribunal, basically," Leon said dryly. "And you already know what the Wastelands are. A kind of in between of life and death for demons, and then there is what you know to be the Underworld, which is where all of the soulless demons and witches live." He gave Chris a cursory glance. "Those who have had their souls stolen are usually called the Cede, or the Fallen among the general populations."

"Only the ones with some form of teleportation can escape that plane, otherwise they have to travel through the gateways, which are extremely dangerous. But the Midlands are a different place altogether. This, where we are now," Chris gestured around them. "This is considered the Uplands, which probably makes this kind of confusing, but the Midlands connected both to the Underworld and here. It's where the most concentration of magical people live, hundreds of thousands all interwoven. They live there peacefully, and stay within their own hidden community away from everyone else. Most don't leave… and very few ever go there."

"The Tribunal only controls one tenth of the magical population," Leon told them. "The Midlands are neutral territory and, since it's so secluded, they are not under their control. Since you're under the… jurisdiction, I suppose you could say, of the Elders, you are all pawns in the game that the Tribunal likes to play. But they have been playing this game for too long."

Chris rubbed his face tiredly. "And magic doesn't like it. It's been fighting back for centuries, and though it has broken the hold on it several times, someone always changes it back, such as the Cleaners, or the Elders… or you," His gave them all a slightly apologetic look. "It didn't matter though. Magic was tired of fighting back… so it destroyed the Tribunal. Completely obliterated them, and it ended their reign, but it happened too suddenly for anyone to prepare for it, and anyone reading poems or making wishes out loud were unknowingly casting spells. Children would be reading books, and suddenly their stories came to life. Usually only spells with a clear intent work, but magic found any excuse to be used properly after being controlled so long."

"So how is what you plan to do any different?" Piper asked her voice no longer condemning on the subject.

"Because we're going to free magic voluntarily," Chris replied hesitantly. "Instead of fighting for its freedom, we will be giving it away. And it won't be sudden, not like before. We have to do it gradually, a casual spell for snow in the summer time, a better one to advert a natural disaster… we will be careful. And we have to speak with the leaders of the world, to prevent the backlash that happened last time. Our true problem was with the mortals…"

Leon nodded his agreement. "People have heard so many stories about magic, that they allowed what they've read and seen in movies to brainwash their own opinions. It was hysteria," he said solemnly. "People went around accusing their neighbors, anyone who was different, who wore their hair a certain way or color, or who dressed in dark colors, were the first to burn. Individuality quickly became something to fear. Vigilantes acted before the government could, hunting us and killing us… and when we retaliated, we became the enemies."

"That's why we need to speak with everyone in charge, like a world summit," Paige guessed. "To establish some sort of common ground, some order before the rest of the world can know about it."

"Exactly," Chris said proudly, pleased that they seemed to be understanding. Perhaps there was some hope for them yet. "It won't be easy, and we shouldn't expect it to be. There are several things we have to do before we can even meet with anyone, such as remove quite a few people from the equation, key figures who will attempt to create the Trials. As long as we can keep them out of the way, it shouldn't be a problem."

"You mean… kill them?" Phoebe asked hesitantly.

"No," Chris denied, and then amended, "Not exactly. We just need them out of the way for a while, say, possibly, a couple hundred years until magic is common. Phoenicia suggested Purgatory," he added with a smirk. "But it would be cruel to their families to just remove them. I thought we could modify their memories, or take away their ability to even speak of magic, let alone cause a panic over it. There was only a small portion of the world who refused to accept us… and even though the circumstances are different, hopefully people will be accepting. It won't be like where we're from, where we were forced to cooperate or die. But, I hope our chances will be better…"

They all stood in silence for a moment or two, attempting to absorb everything. It was just so much to take in, especially since what Chris was proposing was something they have tried so hard to protect. How could they be expected to say anything after that? What could they say? So many people had apparently suffered because of this reveal in the future… could they really be a part of something that was trying to actually make it happen?

Phoebe stared at Chris for a long moment, assessing not only his sincerity but his determination. She knew he was telling the truth, about all of it. And she was also absolutely certain that he would achieve his goal, whether he had their approval or assistance or not. She wondered if she should feel scared, that he seemed to be changing everything so suddenly, sweeping her feet out from beneath her. Instead, she wanted to help him. God help her, but she had no doubts after seeing… something in his eyes, that he would probably be the one to save their futures.

That he could change the world.

"Chris," she said softly, drawing eyes to her. "You said something a while ago that caught my attention," He tilted his head curiously, waiting for her to continue. "… You said that there are hundreds of thousands… living in the Midlands. How many of us are there? How many lives will be affected by what you want to do?"

Chris stared at her steadily. "We make up a total of twenty percent of the world's population."

"That's impossible," Piper denied, looking to her ex-husband to agree with her.

"Millions…" Phoebe breathed. "Possibly even billions,"

Paige stared at him with wide eyes. "How could there be that many?"

Given them an uncharacteristic smile in sympathy, Chris shook his head. "You have to understand… there are whole countries, continents even which only those of the magical world know about." he said, almost laughing aloud at their accompanying looks of disbelief. "Do you remember Valhalla? It's there, sitting in the middle of the ocean, and yet it doesn't show up on any maps, does it? Or what about Atlantis? It not really a lost continent, just hidden beneath the sea where only we can find it. Avalon? It is somewhere between Britannia and Rome. Olympus? Ever see the mountains of Greece? They're all there, just hidden. There are thousands of places like this, all protected. There are even whole schools dedicated to the study of magic, one right here in California in fact. It's called the Firebird Academy, and the current headmaster is the Elder, Gideon."

Leon smiled at them kindly. "I can't remember why I never told you this," he said softly. "I guess somewhere along the way, I forgot that Penny didn't raise you three as witches. This is usually common knowledge, things to be learned at the hand of your family or in school. All witches are supposed to be taught for their own safety, unless their powers are bound… which yours were. Something we are going to rectify soon,"

"You already have a good foundation," Chris admitted with reluctance. "You're very proficient in potions. You know most of your roots and herbs, which are not only essential in potions, but in certain spells. And you're decent enough at the actual spell work. You just lack knowledge on common things that people never thought to inform you of… such as the difference between Seers and… you know. Phoenicia. And your powers… you have good basic control but you need to be able, and most of all, willing to tap into your full potential. This is why we need to travel to the Midlands, to Desair Atei. There, we can remove the personal gain tags on your magic without alerting the Tribunal."

"Excuse me," Piper spoke up, standing stiffly from her chair, and glancing at her sisters. "Before you make plans for us, just remember that we have lives here. What makes you think we can leave? What makes you think that we want to? You can't just tell us to go to some strange magical place and expect us to do it."

Chris stared at the woman who would one day become his mother, almost glaring at her when Phoebe and Paige nodded their agreement. He huffed inaudibly when they all looked at him questioningly. "Look, I know this is a lot to take in," he said, running a hand through his hair. "And I really don't want to discuss this anymore today. Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and we're all high strung right now… so we can talk about it in a few days, once you've all had time to absorb everything and talk to each other."

"That sounds reasonable," Piper admitted her eyes widening as she realized she had completely forgotten about Thanksgiving, let alone dinner. She had to get to the store! She could whip up some green bean casserole and some dressing but she didn't have any ham or turkey for the main course! She was drawn back into the still ongoing conversation a second later, as Chris began speaking again.

"Just know this… we can do this without you," he said evenly, making sure the three of them understood that. "You don't have to help us. We can do it… but that doesn't mean we want to," he finished in a whisper, shifting uncomfortably in place. He hadn't meant to say that last part, no matter how true it was. He would prefer it if he had the support of his family. "I… I'll be upstairs."

Leon watched the retreating blue and white lights with a worried look. He hated this. His son was in pain, emotional pain, yes, but sometimes that could be just as bad as physical pain. And he wasn't sure how to help Chris, or even if he would appreciate his help. Chris had always gone to Wyatt first when something was happening or when he was hurting—his first crush, his first kiss, his loss of Mia when they were younger, their mother's death… everything. Leon just had no idea how to handle this.

"Go," Leo said in low tones so they wouldn't be overheard by the girls, smiling at him in understanding. "He needs you."

The older man frowned at him. "How can you be so sure?"

Leo's smile only widened. "Because you're his father, and he loves you."

End
Chapter

… Long time no see? Truly sorry about that, I just had a bit of trouble with this chapter for some reason, but here it is. I'm still not happy with it but I figure I've left you waiting long enough. The other half of it will be out later this afternoon or some time tonight.

Lynx