(9)
"Tohru will have to face her own demons; the one's she kept locked inside. She will have to accept the feelings she didn't want to admit she had. Those feelings she kept in a tight lid will be opened. Her demons will relentlessly tear their way to the surface. The only way for her not to be devoured is to release her disheartening desires and awaken back into reality. Inner wishes stimulate passions that burn the thin line between reason and fantasies. Causing the mind to descend into dreams further and further down a spiral into an abyss. Causing the mind to rise above natural imagination like smoke that ascends to the stars. Who needs reason when you got passion?"
-Desire Passion "A rice ball's ordeal."
AN: Hurray! I don't have school next week because of Thanksgiving break. I am so grateful! I'm also grateful for all of the reviews and those who favored and put alerts on my fanfic. Thank you all!
aqualchemist, Bishounen Lover Seeker, Emby, Heavensfiregoddess, heavyarms385, icysweetflo, It-was-Ayame, kyoru-kagx-forever, Lady Kayanne, Ren-Sensei, Serinity's angel, vintage86
AN: I dunno why but this time I decided to reply by sending emails. Sorry, I hardly ever have good reasons for my actions. Anyway, the answer to the last question is B. Kyoko and Katsuya are the name's of Tohru's parents.
AN: Here are the names of the other zodiac members;
Harin Sohma, the oldest, is the dragon.
Ayanii Sohma, the second oldest, is the snake.
Inure Sohma, the third oldest, is the dog.
Yuzen Sohma, the third youngest, is the rat.
Nekkie Sohma, the second youngest, is the cat.
Haruko Sohma, the youngest, is the cow.
AN: The dragon of the other zodiac was introduced in the last chapter here's his profile…
Harin Sohma: He is possessed by the dragon spirit of the other zodiac and he is the oldest and most feared among his brothers. He refuses to show a lot of emotion so he has a cold and grave demeanor. He's fervent about his beliefs and goals. He spends most of his time studying books about anatomy and philosophy. Harin has knowledge of both the curse of the original and other zodiac. He was born with dark and threatening power. He is 21 years old, weighs 95 pounds and is 6'0.
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"I want to make you happy and I believe that I will be able to do that…Do you wish to see your mother again?" Harin queried.
"…my mother?" Tohru choked out a whisper.
"Yes, your mother Kyoko Honda. She died more than a year ago in a car accident. Would you like to see her again?" Harin inquired with not as much patience as before.
"...Well yes, I...of course...I do. But th-that's not possible," Tohru gripped herself tightly so that she could suppress a throbbing that developed in her lungs.
"Why?" Harin placed his hands on her's and gently removed them from her chest to his lips.
"You just said it yourself she's dead." Tohru's throat was starting to itch.
"Do you believe the boundary between life and death is great?" Harin's stingingly icy breathe corresponded with his chilling eyes.
Tohru felt as though she could collaspse at any moment. Her mind was so hazy that she couldn't gather her thoughts. Her senses grew so clouded that they began to fail her. She didn't think it was possible for someone to want sleep this much. But at this moment that's exactly how she felt.
"It's not."
"Err, I…I don't uh-understand…," Tohru coughed to clear the back of her throat. "Just what are you saying?"
"You and I want to be reunited with the one's we love. The only thing that separates us is death. Unlike you, I have never wavered on this dream. Up until this point you've been desperately trying to believe that not all wishes come true," Harin verified.
"That's right. Harin's parents are dead. Could it be? That maybe he wants to see them again?" Tohru thought to herself. "It's true. I didn't want my mother to die…I wanted her to be with me and watch me safely graduate high school and get a job. I wanted us to smile together, to laugh together, to worry together, and to cry together too. I wanted her to stay with me but…she died. There is nothing that can change that," she confirmed.
"Together at last."
"Really?" Harin scoffed.
"That promise…we are always together," Tohru thought to herself. "She can't possibly be brought back to life! It's not possible…No. We can never be together…I have to accept that and keeping on living for her and for everyone else I care about," she clarified.
"Have you truly accepted your mother's death?"
Tohru began to feel a thick, bitter substance steadily rise to her throat.
"You claim that you can no longer be together and yet you still keep that picture of your mother with you. If you've accepted the fact that you can no longer be together then why do you cling to that picture with all of your might? That picture must be the only bond between yourself and her, the one thing that keeps her alive in your heart. If you've accepted the fact that you can no longer be together then why don't you let her go?" Harin suggested.
"Together in everlasting chains."
"He's right. This picture is our only bond. She is with me in my heart because I promised that I would keep her there. I promised to think of her always. I promised her that I would treasure her the most. We are always together," Tohru thought to herself. "But I!…th-that is-," she wheezed.
The dragon approached the fatigued girl and stroked her cheek affectionately. He, then, lead his hand down from her neck, along her arm, to the side of her waist before wrapping both his arms around her digging his nails into her back. Tohru let out a gasp when she found herself being pulled even more closer to him more so than she had wanted.
"You've wished to see your mother again so much. Ever since the day she died you've been suffering. You poor child even now you're in pain."
"Ah, no! Absolutely not! No thats...Th-That's not true…" Tohru protested.
"As if one can leave it all behind."
"Your friends and the little family you have left can't help you because you won't allow it. You didn't let them into your heart. You've kept your feelings locked inside in a tight lid. Feelings that you didn't want to be seen or heard. This doubt, this anxiety, this fear, this grief, you didn't even want to admit you've had. It's time you've opened up that lid and it's time for you to be reunited with her. I believe that you've been through enough." Harin declared.
Whether it was an sudden adrenaline rush or instinct, something caused Tohru to back away from Harin. She pried herself from his arms and managed to pace backwards until she began to run out of energy.
"You were so desperate that the only thing you could do was pretend to accept her death and pretend to be happy. It's taken everything you had just keep smiling each day. But that smile even though it's bright there's no feeling in it. It's empty and shallow just like your heart," Harin asserted.
"As if one can escape."
"But I am not pretending!...I! I am happy," Tohru could no longer suppress the tears that gushed from her eyes. "I'm happy that I've gotten to know the Sohma family. I can't imagine how my life would be without them…It's because of them. They're the reason why I was able to smile again…I'm happy that I can go to school and see Hana and Uo. My two best friends in the whole wide world. I'm happy that my grandfather is still here with me….If I wasn't grateful for all the wonderful things in my life I'd just be asking for it...I'm happy because I feel like the luckiest girl alive and so…and so I- I'll never give up!" she tried to shout at the top of her lungs but it still came out as a whisper.
Entirely out of strength, Tohru fell to her knees before Harin's feet. The thick substance in the back of her throat, flowed from her mouth, stinging her tongue and spilling onto the floor. She faintly opened her eyes to her own horror perceived the red liquid that was pouring from herself without showing any signs of ceasing.
"As if one can ignore."
"That's right, my beloved. You really are the most fortunate because I can help you in ways that your friends your family never could. I'll reunite you with your mother in a heartbeat. All I need is your consent," Harin looked down at the pathetic sight, utterly amused. "Do you wish to break the curse? Do you want to break the chains between Akito and the members of the original zodiac?"
Tohru lifted her head but quickly put her hand over her mouth to try to stop the vomiting.
"As if one can forget."
"Uh, yes I do." Tohru was baffled by the fact that he had just abruptly changed the subject. "Do you know how? How to break the curse?" she felt the blood coming again so she did her best to shallow it back down.
"I believe that you were once told that the curse of the original zodiac is diminishing. You were told that this is the first time in generations that every member of the original zodiac had been alive. In the past there was always one of them that hadn't been born yet. The original zodiac members have all gathered for their last banquet...The curse of the other zodiac will soon be broken as well. In the past all twelve members plus the cat had been born every twelve generations. However this time it's only been six generations since the last other zodiac had existed and only six of us were born. Meaning that only a few members were required to acomplish our ultimate goal..." Harin explained.
"Do you know when the curse is breaking?" Tohru could barely make out what he was saying and only comprehended half of his words. "...The curse of the original zodiac I mean. If you know then please tell me."
"Tell me. Why do you want the bond between Akito and the original zodiac to be broken? You should know that a bond is sacred no matter how dark," Harin cautioned.
"As if one's thoughts can become memories."
"It's just that...at the time when Yuki and Kyo graduate from high school everyone is going to be...with Akito. A banquet that will last until the day they…They'll be with Akito never changing and always remaining the same," Tohru stated.
"You want the curse to be broken so that they might be saved from that awful fate. So that Kyo may be saved?"
"K-Kyo!…Kyo...Th-The curse! It has to break by next spring! It has to...Otherwise, Kyo! He'll be...He's going to be..." Tohru wheezed. "On some days that feeling gets worse and worse. As if I'm leaving her behind. Escaping from my sight she stays still and I am pushed forward. When I look onward I start to ignore her. Gradually, I'm forgeting. I can't possibly allow these thoughts to become memories. Otherwise, she'll fall apart. I can't let that happen...We are always together," she thought to herself.
"Is this what you seek?"
"No. I'm just being selfish…I'm just butting into other people's affairs. I know that breaking a sacred bond truly deserves punishment but still…," Tohru tried to wipe her tears as mumbled. "With the utmost selfishness I want to break the curse. All of them should be able to continue to grow and live out there own lives," she proclaimed. "On some days that feeling gets worse and worse. Please don't go away, Kyo." she thought.
"With you?" Harin queried.
"An everlasting bond."
This time Tohru couldn't shallow the blood as it poured from her mouth staining her lips.
"You don't want them to go with Akito and leave you alone is that right? If Kyo is confined then he won't be able to see you. If the rest of the original zodiac is at a banquet Akito won't let you join them. You're afraid of being abandoned by them. You're afraid that they'll by ordered by Akito to reject you and live out their lives without you," Harin declared.
"A bond that is formed by chains."
Tohru clenched her chest when she felt something rip apart and release from her body. Her heart continued to skip beats and from short periods of time it felt as though it stopped beating altogether. She noticed that she could see her breath while her body went from numb to growing more and more cold. The thick sweat that oozed from her the tears that poured from her eyes had turned red.
"When your father, Katsuya Honda, died your mother yearned to see him again and in order to do so she had to leave you behind. At first, she attempted suicide but you were able to prevent that. The second time however…Everyday, when your mother went off to work you would say "come back safe" but that day you didn't. You couldn't stop her from achieving her desire. You couldn't stop your father from taking her from you," Harin confirmed.
"No one will be stolen away."
"Uh, um…that is," Tohru mumbled. "He's right, it is my fault I couldn't even wake up and say "come back safe" It's my fault. It's all my fault but my father…he took her. He took her away from me," she thought to herself.
"Your mother abandoned you because she wanted to be with her husband. She didn't safely come back to you. She achieved her own happiness…Your grandfather has also chosen to die. From time to time, he tends to call you "Kyoko", am I right? Don't you think it's because he's trying to keep her close to him? Despite your objections, his desires to see his son, Katsuya, and his daughter in law, Kyoko, will eventually overpower his reason for living," Harin informed.
"No one will be left behind."
Tohru remembered the time when her grandfather hurt his back and she went to go see him. During her visit, her grandfather made it clear that he wanted to see Katsuya and Kyoko again even as ghosts he wanted to go meet them.
"He's going to die. Just like that my grandfather is going to die…He's leaving me here…he won't stay!" Tohru managed to keep herself from throwing up again. "Kyo! Kyo. Please don't go away, Kyo. I'll break the curse so please stay with me. Please don't reject me. Don't go! NO!" she shouted in her head.
"A world that is ours alone."
She no longer knew what to do since her mask was cracked. She could no longer hide behind her smile. She could no longer make up excuses to try and hide it.Tohru knew that the lid, the one she kept locked inside, was opened. She didn't expect it to happen so soon nor did she anticipate this reaction. With her body sprawled on the floor, she had been stripped of all coverings and shields. Tohru laid there bare and exposed at the mercy of a ravenous dragon.
"Ack, I don't understand. How do you know all of this? How do you know so much about me? I haven't told anyone these things and yet…and yet," Tohru tried to take in deep breathes only to end up coughing again.
"You told me." Harin, with narrow eyes, stared at the corpse like figure on the floor.
"…eh?" Tohru mumbled.
"Chains are unbreakable."
"In your room before you fell asleep you said that you wanted to meet me and I allowed you, and only you, that special privilege. Just when we were about to dance, the moment you took my hand you've been telling me everything about yourself. In fact you've been screaming and pouring it out all at once," Harin clarified.
At this point speaking just might be impossible for Tohru.
"I told you that I would explain everything after we danced and I intend to keep that promise. Hatori, the dragon spirit of the original zodiac, was gifted with the ability to suppress memories. He does this in order to help people live a happy life ignorant of the pain of their past. I, too, have an ability to help people. I can make people's dreams come true freeing them from the suffering of their memories. I can help you be happy like I've done with so many others," Harin affirmed.
Everyone in the room, without saying a word, immediately began clapping.
"These chains weigh heavily...such a heavy burden."
"People's wishes coming true?" Tohru thought.
"Don't worry you'll see her again...sooner than you think," Harin notified.
"…mother?" Tohru muttered.
"What are you doing?-!" a voice cried out.
Tohru tilted her head to the door where she saw Haruko standing there. His face was so pale as he violently trembled. He clumsily rushed down the stairs and tripped on the last one causing him to fall flat on his face. Not pausing for a moment on top of his stomach he slid across the smooth floor until he reached Tohru. There, he picked up her limb body and threw her over his shoulder. Afterwards, he ran out of the room making sure not to look back. He went past the door and sprinted faster and faster in the hallway. While doing so, he often aroused Tohru anything to keep her conscious.
"Tohru! Tohru, wake up! Anything, you're seeing right now it's just a dream!" Haruko shouted with pleading eyes.
"Chains can't be broken that is the one and only truth."
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AN: I guess you can tell that this was a very important chapter and I had to spend a lot of time typing it. Any kind of mistakes would be fatal for the plot and ending. No, I am not exaggerating! And no, this isn't the climax of the fanfic. I'm not even close to the ending this story might have over thirty chapters. I'm sorry but it's just that I have way too many ideas...I'm also sorry about all of the "Tohru abuse" in this chapter. Don't worry she's not going to die. I really don't like character deaths in fanfics but sometimes it's necessary.
"Who else lives with Shigure in his house?"
A. Ayame, Hatori and Kureno.
B. Akito, Ritsu and Kagura.
C. Shigure lives alone.
D. Yuki, Kyo and Tohru.
E. Tons of scandalous, sexy, high school girls..