10. There's A First Time for Everything
"I look like an idiot." The reflection in the mirror looked nothing like me. Well, I mean it was my face but the clothes were all wrong. The white shirt, starched beyond recognition clung to my body in a way I was completely unfamiliar with, but that wasn't the worst part. No, nothing could be as horrible as the tan "slacks" I had been forced into. "I'm not going to a wedding, I'm just taking this girl to get a burger. This…." I motioned towards myself "….is hardly called for."
The whole pack had crammed themselves into my tiny house to see me off for my first "date". I walked into the living room and crossed my arms tightly over my chest. There was complete silence for half a minute, followed by school girlish laughter. "Yeah, real mature guys." I rolled my eyes and stalked back into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. The whole house shook.
It was bad enough they were making me go on a date with some girl I didn't know, I wasn't about to let them dress me up like some kind of Quileute Ken doll. I plopped myself onto my bed and dropped my head into my hands, pressing my fingers against my eyelids until I could see stars.
This wasn't helping, all I could do was think about Nessie. The pain in my chest, the feeling of my heart breaking….again was so familiar, and that didn't seem fair. I'm a decent guy, strong, independent, hardworking, handsome "ish", Like any of that mattered, I didn't deserve all this pain.
There was a soft knock at my door. "Come in." I murmured, still lost in my own thoughts. The last person I expected was Leah, but she opened the door, stepped into my room and then closed the door behind her. "Stop moping around Jacob." She put both her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. "Everyone is here trying to help you get out of your funk, can't you at least act like you are improving? For their sake." I raised my head and narrowed my eyes at her, who was she to tell me to suck it up? Every second as a wolf was completely miserable because of her stupid memories, and I'm not the only one who's bothered by them.
"They aren't helping, it's actually making things worse. Excuse me for taking the attention off you for one second." I wasn't in the mood to fight with her, I just wanted to sleep…..forever. Leah frowned but didn't say anything, which was unusual for her- she always had something to say to kick a man when he's down. "Get up." she commanded after a few minutes of awkward silence. I was about to protest but she walked over and tugged me to my feet by my elbow.
She dragged me over to the mirror and stood behind me, both of us frowning at my reflection. "You know, it doesn't look that bad." she shrugged her shoulders and her eyebrows pulled together over her thoughtful dark eyes. "But you're right something's off." She tapped her index finger against her cheek and eyed me skeptically. I wished she wouldn't do that, it felt….weird. I've never really looked at Leah and she never gave me a second glance, I liked it that way, it was much more comfortable. "It's the collar." Leah practically shouted, her eureka moment. "Turn around." I slowly turned to face her, then skidded backwards after seeing how close our faces had been. Leah raised both her brows at me and smirked, obviously amused by my reaction. She raised both her hands in the air in front of her and giggled, I didn't even know Leah could giggle. "I don't have cooties Jacob." She took a step closer to me and reached her hands out for my collar, I kept my eyes on her hands just in case she decided to strangle me, but her hands were gentle. She took a step back to examine her work, then pursed her lips. "One more thing." She stepped forward and reached her hands towards my chest I stumbled backward "Whoa." I held one hand at arms length out in front of me and shook my head firmly. Leah rolled her eyes and pressed her lips into a hard line. "Oh come on, I'm not trying to get fresh with you just wanted to smooth out the wrinkles." I looked down at my shirt and frowned, I guess sitting on my bed had made the shirt a bit wrinkly. I ran my hands downward then tugged at the shirts tail. "There done." Leah nodded and eyed me again. "You know, you don't look half bad." she mused, shrugging her shoulders. Did she really just compliment me? "Err…thanks." My eyes strayed over to the clock hanging from my wall. "I think I better go…..I don't want to be late…I guess." Leah nodded and I started to walk past her towards the door. I paused, my hand on the door knob, Leah's hand came down on my shoulder. A chill went down my spine. "Try to have a good time Jake." her voice was low like a whisper, but had an edge to it. If I didn't know better, I would've sworn she sounded sad.
The whole pack broke out in cat calls and whistles when I walked into the living room. I tried my best not to look completely miserable. I flashed a glance at Leah standing in the doorway of my bedroom and made a mental note to check my bed sheets before I went to sleep tonight. Then headed out the front door. Me and my "date" had agreed to meet at some hole-in-the-wall diner in Forks, so I got into the Rabbit and started down the winding road off the reservation, a road that I had taken a million times. It still tore my heart in two knowing that Nessie wasn't going to be at the end of the road. The trip seemed short which was a big disappointment, I'd hoped to delay this torture for as long as possible.
I got out of the Rabbit, slamming the door behind me, and slinked over to the diner's glass door, pausing for a second before pushing it open.
I looked around, not even sure who I was looking but it turned out I didn't need to. She knew, I could see her sitting at a table in the corner near the bathrooms. She waved frantically at me, with the biggest smile on her face. I groaned internally but crossed the floor to her table.
"Jacob? I knew it was you. You're exactly like your friends described." I pulled out my chair and sat down across from her, then nodded. "Yeah, I'm Jacob." I had been tempted to lie and pretend to be someone else but Leah's words echoed through my head. "Try to have a good time Jake."
The girl introduced herself but I didn't bother remembering her name. This was a one time thing, for the pack, I never planned to see her again. The waitress came to take our drink orders and by the time she returned I was already contemplating ways to drown myself in my glass of Coke. Girl hadn't stopped her nervous chatter since I'd sat down.
We ordered our food, both of us had burgers but Girl had ordered hers without onions. I tuned out everything she said until our food came. The waitress set down our plates and then asked if we needed anything, Girl asked for ketchup. "I love ketchup. Don't you just love ketchup?" I just sat there and stared at her, marveling at how she got so many words out of her tiny body in just one breath. It took a second for me to realize she was waiting for me to answer. "Um….yeah. Ketchup is great. It's red….like…blood." Of course that reminded me of Nessie, I looked down at the ketchup bottle and sighed. You know you're losing it when your condiments make you sentimental. Girl wrinkled her nose. "I never thought of that." She eyed the ketchup on her plate skeptically. "Anyways." She looked back up at me and picked up a French Fry, biting off a piece and chewing on it thoughtfully. She continued to speak her girlish nonsense. I never understood girl's minds, one second she was talking about school and then she was talking about movies. It was a little hard to follow. I basically shoved my entire burger in my mouth and chewed very slowly to keep from having to say anything, she on the other hand ate like a bird, taking only small bites and chewing very quickly. "And I was like no way, but she was totally serious." She nodded her head at the end of her sentence like a punctuation mark. I nodded back even though I had no idea what she was talking about. The waitress came to the table to give us our check and I reach in my pocket to get the few crumpled dollars I had. I put them down on the table and stood up. "Well, that was fun." I put my hands in my pockets and watched her get to her feet in front of me. " Yeah, it totally was. We should do it again sometime." She smiled hopefully and we walked toward the door of the diner together. "Uhh….maybe." I shrugged my shoulders and held the door open for her, she walked out, then turned to look at me. "You're a really nice guy Jacob." She said with another hopeful smile. "No guy has ever listed to me the way you did tonight." I tried to smile back, but I was feeling a little guilty. I had been thinking about how tortured I was for being on this date, I hadn't bothered to pay any attention to her. God, I didn't even know her name. "You're a nice girl." I whispered, walking with her towards the parking lot. My arm was limp at my side, I felt her slip her hand into mine. I looked down at our hands and then back at her face, she was blushing. I gave her hand a quick gentle squeeze, then slipped out of her grasp and crossed my arms over my chest. We had reached the Rabbit, I leaned against the driver's side door and looked down at my feet. "Thanks for dinner." She said, standing in front of me, trying to catch my gaze. "No problem." I answered, looking up at her. She smiled and held her arms towards me, the motion that meant she expected a hug. I leaned forward briefly touching her back with my hands and then leaned away quickly. "Have a nice night." I opened the door, got into the seat and started the engine. I could see her from the corner of my eye still standing there next to my car. I pressed my foot against the gas pedal and drove out of the parking lot and down the road, back to La Push without a single backwards glance.