AN- only a couple of chapters left, thanks for thos 3 people who have reviewed...please review!!!
NORMAL POV
I took of my clothes and put on a dressing gown, I looked around the room at everything and my anger took over, I ripped all the clothes from the shelves threw shoes across the room and tore the room apart.
"You all happy that I'm scared and fucked up!" I yelled at no one.
"I FUCKING HATE THIS! I HATE IT ALL!" I continued to rant and throw things until I dropped to the floor and cried, I hurt and I ache mentally and physically. I rocked myself as I cried and tried to stop the shaking, but the thoughts of everything that happened kept rushing back and making me relive it all.
I didn't notice anyone enter the room and I didn't realize that they were coming towards me, I spun around at the touch of a hand and swung a fist at them, Carter dodged it and I stared at him. He tried to hug me and I stepped back.
"Don't please don't" Tears welled up in my eyes again as I continued to retreat.
"Sir, let me handle this" I looked at Emi and bit my lips as Carter left the room looking crushed.
"Emi, I love him I do I'm just can't I don't think I could handle it…I don't know! Ugh!" I sobbed. She enveloped me in a hug and I clung to her tightly.
"He would never hurt you; perhaps being in his arms would help you. Was he not what you thought about while you were away" she asked
"I don't know" I replied not really sure
"Talk to him and then see what happens girlie. The first thing you did, according to Rome, was cling to him at the beach." she suggested, I smiled at her slightly and nodded.
She left the room and Carter entered moments later like he had been sitting outside the room the whole time. I looked at him and then at the floor. I took off, I slipped into the bath and relaxed; I cried as I started to scratch at my cuts not caring if I re-opened them, I didn't care if it hurt I just wanted to be clean, rid of the feel of Antonio and Louis.
"Clean, need to be clean" I muttered as I scrubbed
"Baby it's me" I looked over at the voice and saw Carter
"I feel so dirty" I replied tiredly.
"I'm going to give you a bath, and then Emilia has some food for all of us" he smiled and I nodded.
"Are you ok?" I looked at carter and nodded.
"Not really" I whispered relaxing, I felt the water level in the tub rise and realized Carter had joined my in the massive tub. I picked up the loofah and covered a bit in my Thai massage body wash, only to have it taken from me. I looked at Carter who had begun washing my body starting at my feet, he moved from my feet up my legs and over my stomach and chest, he pulled me forwards and moved to sit behind me as he washed my back. I sunk completely under the water and rinsed my self wetting my hair and face.
I sighed as he massaged the shampoo into my hair and massaged my scalp; I rinsed and closed my eyes as he did the same with the conditioner. I sunk under the water and came back up with a small smile, shifted and faced him.
"Thank you" I whispered.
"Any time" he replied placing a kiss on my fore head
"I meant for saving me and bringing me back, for caring for me and being you" I replied blushing, I never said mushy shit like that, I only said mushy things like I love and even then not that often.
"I love you, I'd do anything for you" I let a tear slip down my face and kissed him, all thoughts of the days previous left my mind for a moment and I felt at peace, I loved him so much and to have him say it back to me was one of the best feelings in the world I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.