"Why did you choose to wait until now to tell me about this?"

Toki looked down at his folded hands, he could still feel Charles staring at him waiting for an answer. He had decided to talk to their old lawyer about the voices and the other things he was experiencing more than he was used to handling. Mostly, because Nathan had fucked up and said something about it the last time he had called Ofdensen to talk about some of his own prophetic visions. Toki didn't have visions or dreams that involved talking whales, he had dreams about pissed off dead people who wanted him dead with them.

"It's getting kind of bad, I want to make it stop."

"Well there isn't exactly a way to stop it, it's part of your gift."

He cringed at the word 'gift'. It wasn't a gift, it was a curse; he didn't enjoy having this happen to him. He just wanted it to go away.

"It's a curse, that's what my dad always told me."

"So your father informed you about this?"

The guitarist nodded, his hair fell over his face making it easier to hide away from the lawyer's steady gaze.

"What all did he tell you?"

Toki shrugged, he felt ten; ten and extremely uncomfortable.

"I kill things, mostly people when I love them, or I just kill them the normal way. I steal souls from the living and that I'm a demon."

"That's the basics I suppose, maybe put into better wording...You aren't a demon Toki, you're just like the rest of the band; you're all descendents of Gods."

So Skwisgaar wasn't being full of himself when he said he was the son of a God.

"Each of you have your own abilities whether you realize it now or will when the time comes. Nathan has been realizing his for over two years now and recently is working on learning about them, Skwisgaar has come to know more about himself, and you seem to have known a lot about yourself since you were a child. You just weren't taught about it the right way."

"So what the hell am I?"

Nathan had the ocean and nature in general, Skwisgaar brought life into the world, and as far as Toki knew his other two friends probably had just as nice and positive abilities.

"You are the Bringer of Death"

Great, something he had already known; just hearing it from somebody official made it worse. When he grew up hearing it from crazed church goers he could push it to the back of his mind, could go without thinking about it or caring about it. Hearing about it from Charles, hearing it as a fact of life made his anxiety build.

"So he was right about me; why do I have to hear their voices?"

"I don't know entirely, but that's more of a personal thing between you and the souls you collect."

"I don't want them, I didn't even kill Magnus."

He had been tied up to a crucifix, Magnus was going to slit his throat; the Assassin had killed the half blind musician. Toki had literally nothing to do with his demise.

"Well that I can't explain, it could be the connection he had to you. His hatred maybe is keeping his spirit attached to you."

"Can I make them shut up?"

"Meditation might help you learn how to keep them docile and quiet, but they can help you. Just now isn't the right time."

"The other day Magnus made me cut myself, how did that happen?"

"In a weakened emotional and physical state they can take over if they want to. It's something that can cause you harm or can keep you safe depending upon situation or who is taking over. These souls are important to you, you just need to learn how to work with them and keep control over them."

He hadn't slept in three days, he was too exhausted to actually try and do anything about them or to meditate or pretend this was all normal and okay. He just wanted to sleep and avoid his problems. That sounded like a better idea.

"It will be alright, just be patient, and if you have anything else you need to share then come to me."

With that Charles stood, gave one more mildly reassuring glance at the still worried guitarist then left the room. Toki lay his head against the table, this had to be a really shit dream; a good portion of his life had to be a really shit dream. The static of lost souls roared in his mind like the angry sea, it caused a dull throbbing in his skull that made him just want to end everything or drug himself into a calming state of sleep. Drugs sounded good, drugs and sleep sounded very good.

He struggled to make himself get up and leave the room to go to his own. His limbs felt heavy like they were being weighed down with bricks, he partially recalled his father doing that to him once as punishment.

Toki was more than grateful to find his room vacant, Skwisgaar had known he was going to talk to Charles, but he didn't know what it was about. He knew he should tell him, all five of them needed to work on the whole communicating thing. They were just accustomed to not doing that; they all kept things to themselves, they made themselves be that way no matter how unhealthy it really was. Toki hated doing it, but he learned even if he still sucked at it. As the youngest and still the newest in the band the others excused him, he appreciated it even if being last and always the newest got to him.

Under his mattress he found his pill bottles, he tossed the empty bottles to the floor trying to remember why he even still had them. There were still two bottles filled up with pills, nearly everything he had stashed caused either hallucinations or sleep. He hoped for sleep and not hallucinations, last time he'd had them they were bad. He took several pills then lay down on his bed; he closed his eyes and tried to relax, focusing on the static in his brain. If he focused in he could make out their words; it all sounded the same.

'You're a fucking bastard'

'Murderer'

'Demon'

'Psycho'

'Entitled cunt'

The usual, it rarely changed; they'd threaten to rip him to shreds in the next life but he was getting used to that. There were plenty of times he felt bad, but right now he was too exhausted to care. He felt anxiety choking him when he thought about it, when he thought about how he would live his entire life this way and as he got older there would be more and more voices until what?

He wondered if some day he'd hear his friends voices, would they be pissed at him too?

He didn't even really like the idea of his band mates being dead, he wondered if he'd cause it; he killed anything he loved, apparently he just killed. He knew he had a violent nature, some darker more primitive part of him knew everything somebody needed to know about murder. He mostly found he just attacked with his hands and teeth, he turned into some savage animal, it scared him. He wasn't like that, he didn't want to be like that. What if he blacked out and killed one of his friends, he would have killed Murderface the first time he'd gone off completely. He wasn't extremely fond of the bassist, but he wouldn't actually kill him. He didn't want to kill anybody that was the thing, but part of him wanted to. Like it was a necessary part of his existence.

According to the raging sea in his mind it was necessary.

His body naturally relaxed when the drugs kicked in, he fell asleep to the raging sea of angered souls.