Episode 10: Internal struggles of the heart and mind
"So you're the Ralts I was going to help. Looks like I'll be helping you a little sooner than I thought."
Now, normally I would say something like 'no I had this handled' or 'I guess I could let you help out'. And I tried to say something like that. I tried really hard. There was just one issue.
"No, I, help, me? I don't need… what were we talking about?" I said telepathically as I tried to ignore how ludicrously handsome the Gallade that had my back was. It was a good thing that I was already pretty winded because it gave me the perfect excuse for how red my face was.
"Looks like you're a little out of it from fighting," He said with a concerned frown on his face. "Do you need to sit this out?"
The suggestion that I was in less than perfect fighting condition was enough to shake me out of my stupor. Good thing too because the Whismur had gotten over their worry and charged at the two of us.
"No I'm fine," I protested, as I took aim and fired a pair of confusions at the charging Whismur. As the two Whismur fell I suddenly realized that we hadn't really introduced ourselves yet. "My name's…" I sent him my psychic name, the Brook running past the bottom of a cliff. "But my non-psychic friends call me Brook,"
Gallade smirked as his arm blades flashed purple and he cut some of the Whismur that had decided to try and get close to us. "Nice to meet you, my name is…" He sent me a mental image of a beautiful golden flower standing all by itself at the top of a cliff all by itself. I was suddenly filled with a sense of determination and triumph like I had just scaled that mountain just for the chance to see that flower.
"That's a cool name," I told him as I saw a trio of Whismur getting ready to scream at us. "Heads up," I told him as I booted upwards just as the trio screamed. I looked back to make sure he had gotten out of the way. He hadn't, instead, he had crossed his arms in front of him and made a blue shield. He charged forward, letting the shield block the hit as he got closer.
He ran past the three Whismur and then broke the shield. Before the Whismur could do anything, they were already on the ground courtesy of his arm blades.
"What do you two think you're doing?" Loudred yelled as he watched us take down the members of his squad one by one. He yelled angrily and charged at us.
"Finally, the boss comes out to fight," The Gallade I knew as Triumph Flower said as he stared down the pokémon coming right at him. "Let's finish this here and now,"
There was a flash of purple light, and soon Loudred was passed out on the floor. Triumph Flower stood over the collapsed pokémon, his arm blades still glowing with psychic energy.
"Good job Gallade," I heard the new green haired human say as he walked over to the fallen Loudred. "And as for you, you've caused way too much trouble," He took out a plain pokéball and dropped it on Loudred.
"They got the boss!" One of the Whismur yelled as the rest began panicking. The group soon scattered into the forest around the clearing.
"Looks like we took care of that," The green haired human said as he picked up the pokéball.
"Thanks for the help Wally," Nikki said as he and Laura walked over to the new human who I guess was named Wally. "We would have been down for if you hadn't helped us out,"
"Yeah, thanks for the help," Laura said as well.
Wally blinked as he spotted the Laura, almost like he hadn't noticed her until now.
"Hey, Nicholas, who's this?" He whispered to Nikki as he pointed at Laura.
"Excuse me?" Laura said plainly.
"This is Laura, I've been traveling with her for a while now," Nikki explained to Wally as the older human narrowed his eyes.
He starred at the two of them as he scratched his chin.
"So is he always like this or?" I asked Triumph Flower who was also watching our humans with the same look of slight amusement that I was.
"Not usually, but he does tend to change personalities pretty drastically. Maybe this is a new thing for him," He said with a kind smile that suddenly reminded me how insanely handsome he was.
Now that I thought about it didn't he say something about helping me out earlier? Nikki had said something about meeting up with a trainer with a Gallade to help me figure out my empathy sense a while back now that I thought about it. Was this that trainer and Gallade? Did that mean that I would be spending a lot of time around him?
I wasn't sure how to feel about that.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asked as he leaned down to get closer to my face. The closer he got, the redder I felt my face getting. "You have a bit of color on your cheeks, did the fight take a lot out of you?" I pointed my arms downward and did a boosted jump towards Nikki's shoulder.
"Yeah, totally fine, Just need to rest for a little bit," I said as I landed on Nikki who exclaimed in surprise.
"You alright there brook?" Nikki asked me as he helped me take up my usual standing position on his shoulder.
"Yeah, never better," I said as I tried to not look directly at Triumph Flower. "I'm totally fine."
"Are you sure? Because you look a little red in the face,"
"Hey Nicholas," Nikki wore a concerned yet tired look on his face. "Is your Ralt's female by any chance?"
I gulped. How did this 'Wally' know? I hadn't even known the guy for a few minutes and he had somehow already figured out my secrets.
"Yeah, why?" Nikki responded to my growing horror.
"Just, just don't worry about it." He gave Triumph Flower an exhausted look. "How do you not notice the carnage you leave in your wake?" He said as he patted Triumph Flower's shoulder.
"What, what are you talking about," He responded while wearing a bewildered look on his face.
"Don't worry about it," Wally said nonchalantly as he kept walking. "Come on guys, we can still make it back to my house for a late lunch. Everyone's already waiting for us."
"Wally? Wally?" Triumph Flower said as he walked into the cave, Nikki and Laura following after him. "Wally, why do you keep saying that? What am I doing, just tell me already!"
I looked back as Triumph Flower started running after us. I pouted as he ran. Even confused and somewhat angry, he was still way too handsome.
I had to hand it to the weird human who modified Nikki's pokédex. That healing function she added worked really well. By the time we were halfway through the cave, Milk and Shroomish were already feeling well enough to walk. Milk had apparently found my earlier interaction with the older Gallade hilarious and had insisted on walking outside to provide snide commentary.
Shroomish had decided to walk outside just because everyone else was and he figured why not.
"So green energy,"
"What was that?" I almost jumped as Triumph Flower suddenly appeared next to Nikki and I. I must have not been paying attention, too distracted with thinking about him.
"Your psychic energy. It was green. I've never seen that before," He said aloud, a consideration for the rest of our little group who weren't psychic. While a part of me swooned at how super nice and thoughtful it was, a part of me was kind of annoyed that milk could hear every word of our conversation.
"Really? Its been colored green since I first learned how to powers properly,"
"Properly?"
"Yeah, before that my psychic energy was blue,"
"That's odd, blue is the standard normal color for most psychic types. The stronger ones like myself sometimes use purple but I've never heard of green being used for anything other than a protect."
"So I'm weird?" I teased, knowing full well that that wasn't what he meant.
I actually managed to get him to laugh with that one.
"No no, that's not what I meant at all." He said having gotten all of the laughter out of his system. "What I meant to say was that your powers were a little odd. You yourself are a pretty normal Ralts besides that."
"Really?"
"Yeah, well maybe a bit more battle happy than the average Ralts if that fight back there was any indication. But on the other hand, I could say the same about most pokémon with trainers."
"Thanks. So, is my power weird in other ways?"
He thought for a second before answering, probably trying to find the best way to put it. I had already managed one over him, he probably didn't want that a second time.
"You're stronger than the average Ralts. That trick you do when you aim a confusion to speed yourself up, I've never seen anything like it,"
Trick to speed myself up… was he talking about what I thought he was talking about?"
"You mean my boost? That doesn't make any sense. How's a Ralts supposed to get around a battlefield without it? I mean we're not exactly made to run,"
"They don't, most Ralts have a pretty stationary fighting style. They can't generate the psychic energy to push themselves like that until they become Kirlia and by then they have long legs to do the job anyway,"
"So what you're saying," Milk cut in, interrupting our conversation "Is that Brook is a freaky weirdo whose way stronger then she has any right to be,"
Milk why?
I stood there in silence, too embarrassed to say anything in response.
"Hey, I say that being strong for her age is a good thing. Especially when I had to fight alongside her," Triumph Flower said with that stupid smile. "It felt more like I was fighting with a Kirlia then with a Ralts,"
I felt myself blush again as Milk started laughing.
"Hey Gallade, over here. I want to talk to you for a second," Triumph Flower's trainer called him over, saving me from further mortification.
"How do you…," Wally started saying before I stopped paying attention. Mostly because the brunt of my attention was firmly on Milk, who was looking up at me with the widest, happiest grin she could muster.
"You have a crush," Milk said in the highest singsong voice I had ever heard her use.
"Hey, not so loud," I protested. My face was already as red as an overly ripe cherry berry, no need to make it worse. "I don't want any of the others to know,"
"Brook," Milk said giving me a flat look. "They already know,"
"What, they don't know. I have no idea what you're talking about,"
Instead of replying directly, Milk rolled her eyes. "Hey Shroomish," She said as she motioned for Shroomish to get closer. "Do you know?"
"About Brook's crush on that pokémon we just met? Pretty sure everyone in this cave has it figured out by now."
I reeled back from the shocking act.
"Betrayed by my very own mushroom buddy. Today is a dark day, one that will live on in history." I grumbled as I curled up on Nikki's shoulders and waited for deaths cold embrace to take me.
"Did you take some classes from that Skitty from earlier when we weren't looking?" Milk said in an amused voice.
"Probably just copied and did her best," Shroomish added his own thoughts before going back to walking in silence.
"Hey Brook are you okay," Nikki asked in concern as he tried to get me to do something. "Is she okay?" There was a short pause. "If you say so Vimilky,"
We emerged from the cave maybe half an hour later. We really had been close to the exit.
"It feels so good to be out of that cave," Nikki said as I felt him stretch his arms out. A pretty easy feat when I was literally on his arm.
I could feel a lot of things. The warmth of the sun on my back, the gentle breeze that brought with it the sweet smelling air…
Milk's look of amusement as I stayed curled up the best I could.
"Come on, my family's waiting for the rest of us," Wally said as he started leading us towards one of the nicer looking neighborhoods of the town. Well, I say that but honestly, from what I could see while on Nikki's shoulder, it felt like all of the neighborhoods in this town were the nice ones.
We arrived after a few minutes of walking past some beautiful houses with huge yards to a beautiful house with a huge yard.
On the front porch of the house was a well-built older human wearing a dress shirt. In his arms was a tiny human, the smallest I had ever seen.
"Wally!" The older human bellowed cheerfully as he waved at our group. The tiny human in his other arm looked up and copied him.
"Hi Wawwy'" The smaller human said in a way that I couldn't help but adorable.
"Nikki, Laura, come with me," Wally said as he went up the stairs.
"What about our pokémon?" Laura asked.
"Well, we have something set up for them in the backyard. Gallade can show you them the way,"
"If you say so," Nikki said as he picked me off his shoulder and placed me down on the floor. Not wanting to get myself covered in dirt, I uncurled myself and stood up. "You okay with this?"
"Not really but hey, free food," I justified to Nikki.
"That's great to hear," Triumph Flower said, suddenly appearing behind me. How did someone so tall move so silently? It wasn't fair to my poor heart. "I'll lead you guys there,"
"See you later after lunch guys," Nikki told the three of us before heading inside.
"You guys start eating without me," Laura said as she took out both of her pokéballs. "You said that the pokécenter is going this way and then making a right at the town center right?"
Wally confirmed the directions for Laura and soon she was gone for now.
Which only left us four pokémon.
"Okay everyone, follow me," Triumph Flower said as he started leading us around back.
"I wonder what he meant back there by something being great to hear?" I asked Shroomish in a hushed voice.
"No clue. You were the one using telepathy, wasn't he responding to you?"
I stopped mid-step. If he had been responding to me then that meant he heard me talk about the free food. Which probably meant that he thought I was a glutton or something.
Oh just kill me now and throw my soul into a furnace.
"Brook, you okay?" Shroomish asked.
"Yeah, never better," I lied as I started moving again. Could this day get any worse?
As we ate lunch, I quickly figured out how this could get worse.
"Hey Gallade, sit next to me,"
We weren't sitting on the grass or anything like that like a part of me had feared. Instead, Wally's family had set up a large outdoor table with chairs and everything for us.
"I suppose that I wouldn't be opposed to you taking a spot next to mine,"
And we were all sitting under a nice tarp that blocked out most of the sun and gave us some nice shade.
"I mean I guess you can sit next to me if you want,"
And the food looked really good. I mean really good. Wally's family must have had some good cooks. I would have to tell them via Nikki when we got done.
"Oh geez guys, thanks but maybe we should let our guests choose first,"
When I developed this random crush on this Gallade, I had been foolish enough to assume that I would be the only one.
The Delcatty, Roserade, and Garchomp crowding Triumph Flower told me otherwise. It looked like I hadn't been the first to fall for this Gallade. In fact, I seemed to be fourth.
"I guess we can let them choose where to sit," The Delcatty said with a friendly smile. She felt the safest of the three and the friendliest with Triumph Flower.
"I guess that would be proper, wouldn't it?" The Roserade said in a refined manner. She broke the refined act for a second to gaze at Triumph Flower.
"Well it's not like I care who sits next to you or anything," The Garchomp said as she crossed her arms in a standoffish fashion. The blush on her face told me that she was lying.
Off to the side an Altaria, Magnezone, Talonflame, and Azumarill in varying states of annoyance, amusement or, in the case of the Magnezone, complete neutrality. By what I imagined was a complete coincidence, all of these pokémon were either male or genderless but identified as male anyway.
I walked over to the group of other pokémon while Triumph Flower was distracted by his… admirers.
"So is this normal for you guys or…"
"For him yes," The Azumarill commented, clearly being on the more annoyed side of the 'annoyed-amused' scale. "For the rest of us, not so much. And the worst part is, he doesn't even know what's going on,"
A spark of hope lit up in my heart despite my protests.
"What do you mean he doesn't know?" I asked trying to think of any answer that would make sense besides the obvious one.
"As far as Gallade knows, Delcatty, Roserade, and Garchomp are his good friends who just really like spending time with him."
All three of us were gobsmacked. Well, Milk and I were anyway. Shroomish just looked a tiny bit shocked but that was normal for him.
"Are you joking?"
Magnezone looked on at the three pokémon crowding his teammate.
"Despite being a steel type, I'm almost certain that that Gallade is the densest member of this team," He finally said.
"But shouldn't he have that empathy sense thing." Milk argued. "The reason we came here in the first place was for him to train Brook on how to use it."
"From what he's told me, Gallades give up their ability to use some of the more… esoteric psychic arts. In exchange, they gain martial prowess far beyond what a Gardevoir can do." Talonflame explained from up on his perch overlooking the yard above us. "While he still has empathy sense, it's not as fine-tuned as it would be if he had become a Gardevoir. In fact, it's probably not even all that impressive among Kirlia."
"He can tell that they all feel positively about him, but he has no clue towards the extent or depth to their feelings," Altaria explained from his own perch that was next to Talonflame's. "It doesn't help that as Magnezone said, he's pretty dense. But I wouldn't worry about your friend, he should still know all of the basics needed to teach her how to use her own Empathy sense."
"Yeah, so don't worry about it kid," Azumarill said as he walked over and rubbed the top of my head. "I can't stand the guy and even I can admit that he knows what's he's doing when it comes to all this psychic stuff,"
While finally learning to use my empathy sense wasn't the perfect consolation prize for my broken heart, I'd take it anyway. Content with what I had, I went to go sit at the table, Shroomish and Milk following soon afterward. Wally's team joined after we had taken our seats, Delcatty, Roserade, and Garchomp all choosing to sit as close to Triumph Flower as possible.
The lunch that followed might have well been the most emotionally confusing in my life.
A part of me was still heartbroken and seeing the object of my affection be surrounded by other females who were into him hurt.
"Gallade, you have something on your, let me just get that,"
Well, at first it did anyway.
"Are you really going to use your tail to clean him you unhygienic furball?" Roserade said as she pushed Delcatty to the side and wiped away some of the food that Triumph Flower had on his cheek.
"As if using your roses is any better," Garchomp commented as she focused on her own food. Despite that I saw her sneak some glances at Triumph Flower, usually followed up by a jealous glare before she went back to her food.
"Thanks guys, I didn't even notice." He said with the same smile that I had once called kind. But now, now I knew it as the cruel thing that it really was.
As the lunch passed, so did the pain and hurt. In its place, came the laughter. The way that the three of them tried so hard to get Triumph Flower's attention and affection made me laugh.
"I helped them prepare this dish just for you,"
"Oh, thanks Roserade. This is really good. You should cook more often, you're really good at it,"
"Enjoy those fruits, I was the one who went out and got them. Wouldn't want my effort to be wasted,"
"Oh, pears, my favorite. Thanks Garchomp,"
But by the end…
"So Gallade, I heard Wally say that you guys ran into a bit of trouble, are you okay?"
"I'm fine Delcatty. Shroomish and Vimilky had a bit of a rough time though,"
All I felt was pity.
"Hey Gallade, want to go for a walk afterward?"
"Sorry Delcatty, I actually already agreed to help Brook out with some of her psychic powers,"
All three heads suddenly turned and looked at me. Just my luck, I was in the middle of eating a biscuit and they had caught me mid-bite. I locked eyes with all three of them one by one. Even without my empathy sense, I could make a good guess as to what they were thinking.
'Has a new challenger appeared?'
As I felt myself sweat under the heat of their glares, I knew my answer.
The answer was that a new challenger had appeared, and then immediately dropped out.
I finished my bite and started to chew the biscuit as slowly as possible. Not only to give me more time until I had to give some sort of response, but also because this thing was freaking delicious. It had some herbs backed into it with a tiny bit of sugar to give it this really flavorful taste that I wish I could have described better.
Of course, I couldn't put it off forever so I did eventually swallow the biscuit in my mouth.
We all sat in silence, every eye on me.
"So," I finally said, breaking the silence. "Don't suppose I could get away with taking another bite can I?"
"No,"
"Not on your life,"
"Not a chance kid,"
"Figures," I muttered under my breath.
"What's going on?" Triumph Flower asked, looking bewildered. This whole conversation must have flown right over his still ludicrously handsome face.
"Don't worry about it," I reassured him. "I'm sure they just want to know about the training that you'll be giving me,"
"Are you sure you want me to?" He crossed his arms and gave me a concerned look. "From what I've gathered it sounds really personal,"
"I can tell them a few details," I told him before looking at the expectant trio. "Due to reasons that I will not go into, my psychic powers are a little messed up. Specifically, I don't have the ability to feel other people's emotions like Ralt's are supposed to be able to."
I went on, telling them about my disastrous attempt at using my empathy sense, Nikki's connection to Brendan and his connection to Wally, and how Wally had offered for Triumph Flower to teach me the basics of using empathy sense correctly.
"I'm just glad to finally be able to use it. I mean every other Ralts in the world can use it so I feel a little left behind," I admitted, ending my whole spiel.
"Oh come on, don't be like that," Triumph Flower interjected. "You might not have empathy sense but you still fight with the kind of raw power that I would expect from a Kirlia, not a Ralts,"
That sent some alarmed whispers around the rest of the table.
"Hey Gallade, what do you mean by that?" Delcatty asked, taking advantage of the moment to inch a little closer to him.
"Well remember how Wally mentioned something about running into trouble on the way back?"
"Yeah, we were all super worried for a second,"
"Well…" Triumph Flower told the rest of the table about what happened in the cave. As he did so, he made sure to point out how well I had done at several points in the retelling.
"I wasn't that impressive," I muttered. I wasn't sure why I was acting so modest for a change. I promised myself all the time but it felt different when someone else did it.
Apparently assured that Triumph Flower relationship with me was going to be a strict teacher/student one, the trio of admirers backed off for the rest of the lunch.
Triumph Flower approached me after we finished eating.
"I'm ready to start your empathy sense training whenever you are. Just say the word and we'll get started,"
"Well, in that case, why not start now?" I said, excited to get started.
"Okay then, follow me,"
Triumph Flower turned and walked away, my own stubby legs following after him. As we got closer to the edge of the property, I noticed three pairs of eyes following us.
My excitement sank, just a little bit, as the three of them started following us as stealthily as they could. They stopped once we reached the edge of the property, only to start following us again.
And somehow Triumph Flower was either ignoring them or unaware that they were even there. I wasn't even sure which of the two was worse.
At the very least I was pretty sure that Milk and Shroomish were following us too. If the trio tried anything to mess with my training, I trusted them to at least try to stop it.
I couldn't help but cringe as we kept walking. Delcatty managed to sneak behind us well enough, her catlike grace keeping her hidden. Roserade almost vanished in the forest, if I hadn't known that she was following from the start, I might have never noticed her at all. And Garchomp…
Garchomp made a stomping sound as she walked and hit behind trees that were too narrow to conceal her. It was her attempts at sneaking that let me know that Triumph Flower was willingly ignoring her.
Milk and Shroomish didn't even bother, just casually strolling along behind the trio. If I hadn't been annoyed by the fact that we were being followed, I might have even found it funny.
"Okay we're here," Triumph Flower said as we arrived at a nice little clearing. There was a small hill near the center next to a decently sized boulder with a smooth, flat top. The entire ground was covered in tall verdant grass that swayed in the sweet-smelling breeze.
I had a sudden idea. I closed my eyes and opened myself to the sea of power.
"This place…" I whispered as I felt the power around me. "It's calm, the power here flows gently," Back on Dewford when Nikki had tried to teach me how to swim, he had helped me learn to flow. This feeling of the power flowing around me, it reminded me of the waves gently moving me around.
"I don't know why the sea of power is so calm here, but it makes it the perfect place to train for this kind of thing. Or, I think so at least,"
He took in a deep breath as he looked the clearing over.
"You know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever taken someone else here. Never had another psychic around who could make use of this place,"
He walked over to the boulder and blinked.
"Oh, I forgot. I'll be right back, just wait a second," He said as he rushed off into the woods. I heard him stop after a little bit, only for the forest to suddenly be filled with the sound of psychic energy cutting something. Triumph Flower came back shortly after, carrying a much smaller boulder with a matching flat top.
"What's that for?" I thought we would be training my empathy sense, not my battle powers. How was the boulder supposed to help?
"Well you need a place to sit too," He set the smaller boulder in front of the larger one. With a single jump, Triumph Flower leaped over the clearing and landed on the top of the larger one. He settled down and sat crossed legged on top.
I took one look at the smaller boulder and made a guess as to how much power I would have to put into a boosted jump in order to clear it.
I aimed downwards and jumped.
I was getting really good at judging how much power I needed to make jumps like this. I landed on the smaller boulder without too much of a fuss. I sat down and crossed my legs, mirroring Triumph Flower.
"I'll focus on this first part," Triumph Flower explained. "For now, just close your eyes. You'll know when I start things,"
I did as he said, closing my eyes and instead focusing on the sea around me. I could see him, the power contained in him. It was strong, but controlled, like a great beast that had been fully tamed and followed Triumph Flower's will to the letter. I could also just make out the five, much smaller psychic signatures of the pokémon watching us from just beyond the clearing.
The power within Triumph Flower suddenly unfolded, reaching out to me. I reached out and 'touched' it with my own psychic power. The two beacons, stable and unflinching within the sea of power, stood fast, the connection between them strong.
I flew out, reaching the center point between us. I was swallowed up by the light, and soon I was somewhere else.
"What… where is this place?" I wondered as I gazed out into the vast white, empty void. No matter where I looked, I saw nothing, no landmarks, nothing to see.
I couldn't even see the horizon, the sky and ground having the same shade of pale white.
I made a mental note to not look down.
"This is a mental landscape, a place where we have complete control over our surroundings,"
I looked around in every direction, looking for Triumph Flower. He was nowhere to be found.
"Up here," I looked up, Triumph Flower was sitting on… nothing. As in he was sitting down like he was hanging his legs off a ledge, but there was no ledge. In fact, there was nothing there at all. It looked like he was sitting on the air.
Or was he sitting on the ground and I was looking up from underground. Without anything else around us, I guess there really wasn't a difference.
"How did you get up here?" I asked him. "Or did I end up down here?" I asked myself.
"Like I said, we have complete control over this place. The only thing we can't control here is each other. If you want to get up here, just do it,"
I looked at the 'ground' below me and, after dealing with the fear and terror of seeing a white void below me, imagined an elevator lift under my feet. As I imagined it lifting me up towards Triumph Flower, I rose.
"This feels weird," I said as I stepped off the 'elevator' at the same height as Trump Flower. "Where did you learn to make this kind of place?"
"Learned it from a friend of a friend," He explained as he got up and walked over to me. "Probably the most advanced psychic technique I know,"
"So, not to be rude or anything but…" I hesitated to go on.
"It's fine, go on," He motioned me with his hands to carry on.
"How… how is this supposed to help me learn to use my empathy sense?"
"Now that is a good question." He said "Well from what your trainer explained, it sounds like you have some mental trauma keeping you from activating your empathy sense. Well, the best way to deal with that is to deal with it directly. And there is no better way to deal with a problem directly then to deal with in a mental landscape,"
"I don't know how to feel about this,"
"Good, that's probably how you should feel," He explained as he took a step back. "Now, I want you to create a door. A door to your memories. Imagine your memories as though they were physical things. Maybe books, maybe orbs, it can be whatever you want. Just make them small enough that we can see a ton of them at once,"
My memories as physical things…
"I think I have an idea," I told him as a plain door appeared in front of both of us. He motioned for me to open it. I gulped as I grabbed the handle and pushed.
The door opened into a bright white light.
"Let's go," Triumph floor took the first step and then waited for me to follow. I took a deep breath and followed him in.
"Crystals?" He asked as he took in our new surroundings. We were in a calm forest, maybe around early afternoon. Everywhere we could see there were trees, providing shade from the sun above and holding crystal memories in their trunks.
The crystals shined brightly in every color I could imagine. Brilliant reds, beautiful blues, and splendorous greens only made up, a small part of the rainbow world that surrounded Triumph Flower and I. And I knew that if I were to get a closer look, inside each of these crystals, I would find inside one of my memories.
"Yeah a little while ago…" I started saying before I was cut off by a burst of light from one of the nearby crystals. Triumph Flower and I looked at each other before getting closer to investigate.
It was one of the crystals, specifically one of the yellow ones. I touched it and soon triumph Flower and I found ourselves floating above the ground next to a familiar group of travelers.
"So deep in the darkest part of the cave is a chamber where all of the walls are covered in gems," Memory Milk said as she walked alongside Nikki. I sat on Nikki's shoulder, entranced by Milk who had been telling me about her old home.
"This happened a few days ago," I told Triumph Flower who nodded in understanding. Time froze around us as I kept explaining "The first day after leaving Rustboro, I was really anxious to start helping Nikki with his training. Milk must have noticed because she came out of her pokéball to tell me all about the cave she grew up,"
Time started to flow again.
"It was the most beautiful place in the whole cave system. It's probably the most beautiful place on the whole island, maybe the whole world,"
"Sounds amazing, wish we could have gone there ourselves," Past me said looking wistfully. "Not like we can go there now," I had been thinking about how we would probably be blamed for the fire that burned down half the port.
"Yeah, not without every pokémon in that cave blaming us for what happened to Vorn," Past Milk said with a shudder.
"Oh wow I forgot about that part," Time stopped as I suddenly realized what I was about to say.
"Are you okay," Triumph Flower asked, looking concerned like he usually did.
"Can you keep a secret?" I asked him before making a mental note to apologize to Nikki later.
"Brook this is your mental landscape, where your most private and precious memories are stored. I would be a monster to reveal anything in here and I am not a monster,"
The trio of female pokémon pinning for you might say different but that was neither here nor there.
"I promise to never tell anyone about anything I see or hear unless you tell me otherwise,"
I took a deep breath, if I wanted to do this, I had to trust him.
"Okay," I told him as time started to resume.
"I was talking about how you and Nikki kind of sort of burned like half the warehouses in Dewford port,"
Triumph Flower went slack-jawed. Whatever he was expecting, arson was probably not it.
"To be fair, most of that was done by Vorn. Nikki and I just happened to be the ones he was chasing. Totally doesn't count."
"Well, no one died so I guess all's well that ends well right?" My past self said as she and Milk started laughing. Triumph Flower just looked at me with shock. Or at least he had been. I had long since looked away to avoid meeting his eyes.
"Sounds like you two are having fun," Nikki smiled as he watched the two of us. "What are you guys talking about anyway?"
"Tell him we're talking about something dumb," Milk cut in before I could respond.
"We're talking about what's better, bread or metal,"
Dream me told him plainly, hoping that he would fall for it.
"You two were not debating metal versus bread," He said, not falling for it.
"It didn't work," The memory me said looking a lot more downcast then I remembered.
"Well of course it didn't," The Milk of the past said looking disappointed. "Bread versus Metal, is that the best you could do?"
"Well, you didn't exactly give me a lot of time to work with," The me from the past argued back as the memory started to fade away. A few moments later, it had faded completely and the two of us were standing in my memory forest again.
"So do I even want to know what happened on Dewford or…?"
"It's not our fault, you see what happened was…" From there I went on to tell Triumph Flower about out misadventures in Dewford. As I did so, we got pulled into more memories, allowing him to see what happened with his own eyes. By the end of it all, his shock had worn off and had been replaced with understanding.
"Well by the looks of it, I wouldn't really say that it was your fault," He said as we reappeared in the crystal forest.
"But was it though?" I argued, not caring how childish I sounded. I knew it wasn't the most compelling argument, but it was still the one I asked myself from time to time.
He both looked at each other, not sure where to go from here. Ultimately, we both just shrugged and silently decided to move on.
"Okay so now for the thing we actually came for," Triumph Flower said with a clap. "Okay Brook, I want you to try to use your empathy sense on me," I nodded and closed my eyes, getting ready to…
"Wait stop, I forgot to tell you the important part. Don't rush this, in fact, go as slowly as possible." He explained, his voice becoming progressively more serious with each thing he said. "It sounds like your empathy sense is blocked by some sort of traumatic memory. So if that's the case then it should start to shine if you try using your empathy sense. We figure out what memory it is, we should be able to figure out how to help you move past it."
"But I don't remember it, why would it block my empathy sense if I couldn't remember it?"
"Traumatic memories can seal themselves up, a mind's way to help itself from breaking. Also, don't go all the way, stop before that. We're trying to figure out what memory is blocking you right now, nothing more," He broke into a sudden smile and went back to his friendlier voice. "So just do your best, I know you can do this,"
I looked away from his smiling face, not wanting him to see my blush. I closed my eyes and hoped that he didn't walk around and look at my face before I had a chance to calm down. I opened myself to the sea of power like I had back at Dewford and followed the steps the best I remembered.
Once again the world around me faded away, leaving only the bright beacon that was Triumph Flower's psychic power. I took a closer look until he took the form of a string like Nikki had back in Dewford.
With all that psychic energy floating around, it took me a second to find the string. Eventually, I did though and as I approached my hand to it, I felt the dark feeling return. I got as close as I wanted to risk and then stopped.
"I really hope he finds that memory quick," I told myself as I hovered my hand over the thread. The oppressive feeling surrounded me, feeling heavy on me. Like I was covered in chains that weren't heavy enough to completely immobilize me, but defiantly heavy enough to mess up my ability to move.
After waiting for far too long, I finally felt someone grab my shoulder. While normally I could have resisted the pull back to the… I was about to say physical world but it's really not. Anyway, while I could have resisted, I wanted to get out of there so I practically dragged myself out of there and came back to the mindscape.
"Good news, I found the memory blocking you from using your empathy sense," Triumph Flower told me in a way that left me worried.
"And what's the bad news?"
Instead of answering me, he just lifted his arm up and pointed at the…
"Yeah, I would say that counts as bad news,"
In front of us was a tree with a crystal in, just like any other tree in the crystal forest. There were just a few key differences. Instead of a brilliant crystal shining like it had been freshly polished, there was a dark purple rock that exuded a shadowy aura that made my skin crawl just looking at it.
As for the tree itself, it was old gnarled and rotted, a far cry from the vibrant healthy trees that made up the rest of the crystal forest. The only thing keeping the whole thing from falling apart were the old, rusted spiked iron chains wrapped around the tree.
"Well," I pointed out after having taken the time to take it all in. "At least it looks easy to get to,"
Triumph Flower shrugged before slowly approaching the tree.
"Careful," I cried out despite myself. I knew he would be fine but that certain everything about that that tree was putting me on edge.
"This tree, its old… In fact, I think it's the oldest tree here," He said as he inspected the bark.
"Does that mean anything," I asked as I approached hesitantly. I got the same uneasy feeling from the tree that I got from the thread. The last thing I wanted to get near the thing.
"Yeah it does," His voice sounded pained like he didn't want to say this. "From what I've gathered everything in a mindscape is symbolic. I think the age of the trees matchup to how recent the memory was. So if this is the oldest tree I can find…"
"Then my oldest memory is something so traumatic that I looked it away," I said, finishing the thought for him.
"Do you think you have any idea on what it could be?"
"Well now that I know those parts, I have a pretty good guess as to what it is,"
"Do you think you can handle it?"
I didn't bother giving him a verbal answer. She didn't deserve one, not if she's still hounding me even after all this. I thought I was free of my Mother, but it looked like she had some nails dug into me.
I reached out and grabbed the memory. The shadowy aura around the crystal dispersed. Triumph Flower screamed something in alarm and grabbed my shoulder so that we would both get pulled in. I didn't care, I had nails to dig out.
When we opened our eyes again, we were in a place I had never seen before.
"Where are we?" I said as I looked around frantically. "This doesn't look anything like the forest where I grew up!"
We were in some dark, human-made hallway. The same gray panels covered the floor, walls, and ceilings, the ones above us in clear disrepair. There was dust everywhere, and the only light source was peeking out from a half-opened door in front of us.
"Are you okay?" Triumph Flower asked as he put his hand on his shoulder.
"I don't know," I said as I grabbed his hand and squeezed. "I don't know this place, I have no idea what's behind that door. Just do me one favor,"
"Anything,"
"Whatever we see please don't judge me for it,"
"Already done,"
I smiled despite my worry. I let go of his hand and grabbed the door. I took a deep breath and pulled it open. What I saw made stunned me.
It was mother sitting down on the ground with both of my older brothers hovering around her. He looked tired like she hadn't gotten the chance to sleep in so long.
As for my brothers, they had no emotion on my face. They just stood there and starred at a small… something that Mother was cradling in her arms.
But what really got me was that all three of them were sitting in what looked like some sort of cage. The bars were broken, and are around the cage was trashed, but it was a cage none the less.
"What is this place?" Triumph Flower said as he looked around in awed terror.
"I have no idea, and where am I anyway? That's my Mother and Brothers over there but where am I?"
I suddenly heard a low crying sound. Triumph Flower and I both slowly turned towards my mother. She moved her arms around and revealed a baby Ralts with a face that I saw anytime I looked into a reflection.
Oh, so that was what was in her hands. That tiny little object she was holding was me. There was just something a little off about this picture.
"That's weird,"
"What is?"
"The way she's holding me close like she cares about me. I've never seen her act like that before," I tried not to react to the way Triumph Flower recoiled at my words. "It's just a little weird to see, like its wrong somehow," I explained as my mother brought my crying baby self up close to her face.
"Shush," She snarled. "Shush you cursed child,"
And just like that…
"And now this feels like reality," I said trying to keep the anger out of my voice. The scene before us froze in place, making the hate in my mother's eyes as plain as day.
"Brook are you all…"
"Wait, I want to see where she goes from here," I said, putting an end to the matter. Triumph Flower shrugged with a worried grimace on his face. We both stood back and watched as time restarted.
"Quite, before they hear us," She said as I started to hear the sounds of something banging and clanging from behind us. There was something out there, in the hallway that Triumph Flower and I had entered from. We stood in place waiting for something to happen.
Nothing did though, the sounds passing by the door and then fading as they got further away. The two of us let out a breath we hadn't noticed that we had been holding in.
"It sounds like they're gone Mother," One of my brothers said. It was weird seeing the two of them like this. Even though they had spent most of their time being jerks to me, seeing them act all stoic like wasn't any better.
I suddenly felt a weird heavy feeling all around me. I looked around but didn't see anything that had changed. Why was I feeling this now?
My mother suddenly raised an eye at the me she was holding in her arms.
"Is that you?" She asked with a wicked smile on her face. I suddenly got a really bad feeling about this. "A little baby, reaching out for the emotions of others for the first time,"
"Hey Triumph Flower, can you feel sensed emotions in memories?'
"Yeah you can," He admitted bitterly.
"So that's what this heavy feeling is. It's the emotions that Mother and My Brothers are feeling.
Mother held me out a bit.
"If it's emotions you want then have some more," She said as I suddenly felt the weight around me clamp down like the force of a mountain falling on top of me.
I fell to the floor and I suddenly heard screaming. It sounded like the screams of a pathetic weakling that would never amount to anything. The cry of a pathetic left over. But where was it coming from, and why did it almost sound like there were two?
"Brook!" A tall figure said as they dropped to their knees and grabbed me. They pulled me into a hug as the screaming kept going. "Brook, you have to calm down. You're not feeling these emotions directly, you have to cut yourself off now!"
He was yelling, but it didn't feel angry. I looked into him and I saw what looked like… Concern. I grasped at it, and let my mind wrap itself in the embrace of Triumph Flower's worry for me.
The screaming stopped, and I was back in the room with the cage. Time had frozen again. I glance over at My Moher and I. Baby me was caught midscream. I guess that explained why it sounded like there had been two screams.
For a little while, we just sat there, me still sniffling in his arms. I took my time to recover, not caring about anything. I now knew why I didn't have my empathy sense.
"She drowned me," I said as we parted, my memories clearing as the truth became clear to me. "Every time she felt me trying to use my empathy sense she made sure to drown me in as much anger and hate as she could. I was just a baby, so I did what a baby does when it something that hurts them. I closed myself off and never touched my empathy sense until I forgot I even had it,"
"I think we have what we came for," Triumph Flower declared as we both got up. I went to clear away the tears in my eye when I suddenly remembered that this wasn't really my hanging on my neck bandana, just a psychic construct of it. I used it to wipe my tears away instead. It felt 'right' for some reason.
We found ourselves back in the crystal forest where we had started.
"If you want to stop for today, that's fine. Heck, I'd stop if I were you. That back there, that was rough,"
And a part of me did want to stop, just not for the reasons that he probably thought I did. I already knew that Mother hated me so learning that she did this to me was no surprise.
No, I wasn't surprised or shocked or betrayed, I was equally furious and exhausted.
"Three times," Triumph Flower perked his head up as I muttered the words. "It's been three times now,"
"What's happened three times?"
"First I learned that Mother taught me how to use my psychic powers incorrectly on purpose. If I had kept using the style that she taught me I might have died by now. Then I had to learn that I was part fairy from Milk who taught me how to use those abilities. Now it turns out that she's the reason I couldn't use my Empathy sense too,"
Triumph Flower I didn't say anything, content to just let me rant a little longer.
"It's like every time I learn that I've got a new handicap or obstacle I need to overcome, it turns out she's the one who put it there. I thought that after I ran from home, I would be free. That I wouldn't have to deal with her ever again. Instead, it turns out that she's still haunting me now!"
I pointed my finger at Triumph Flower.
"So no, I don't want to take a break and do this tomorrow. I won't let my Mother control my life, I won't let her stand in my way and I won't let her slow me down. I'll do this now,"
I ended my rant and leaned forward, trying to catch my breath. I remembered what it was that Laura said to Nikki about leaning back being a faster way to recover, but I was way past caring about something like that.
"Alright then," Triumph Flower gave an awkward grin and looked off to the side a little, not wanting to meet my eyes. "I think I have an idea of how we can solve this, but before that, Brook can you do me a favor?"
"Sure, whatever, what is it?"
"Look around you for a second,"
I did and was taken aback. Our surroundings had changed. Instead of the multicolored from before, we were now surrounded by slightly older trees. Each and every single one of them had one thing in common besides their age.
They all held dark crystals that were producing the same dark aura as my first memory.
"I guess talking about all that brought them to us," I said as I saw the tree of dark memories before us.
"So many," Triumph Flower said with a small frown on his face. He was starting to pity me, I didn't want that at all. I jumped up and waved my arms in front of his face.
"Okay you said you had a good idea on how to fix my empathy sense, I'm all ears," I said once I had his attention. He blinked and must have figured out pretty quickly that I wanted to move on because he went straight to the explanation.
"Well, so the main problem is that your memory associates using your empathy sense with that rush of negative emotions. Now that you know that that shouldn't happen, you might be able to get past that, especially if you're using it on someone you trust,"
"So you think I should…"
"Try and use your empathy sense on someone close to you that you know. Someone who you know won't be harboring any ill feelings towards you,"
I looked at Triumph Flower and hummed. I think I had a good idea on who to ask.
"I would recommend your trainer seeing as how,"
"You."
He stopped mid-sentence to look at me. I stood up as straight as I could and crossed my arms. "You've already taken me this far, might as well see things through to the end,"
"But wouldn't you rather,"
I glared at him and he stopped talking. He opened his mouth to say something else. I glared even harder and not a word came out of his mouth.
"Okay, just give me a second. Actually," He looked around the Crystal Forest. "It might be better for you if we went back into the shared mindscape,"
I shrugged, he was the expert here. While I wasn't about to wait a day to recover from something I didn't need to recover from, I was willing to wait a minute or two to change locations.
We made our way back to the door that had led here in the first place. Triumph Flower went through first. I reached out to the door before stopping.
I took a second to look back at the mass of older trees and the dark crystals they held.
"You won't be able to hold me back anymore," I told my memories of Mother as I headed out back into the mindscape.
Once again, Triumph Flower and I sat across from each other. Only instead of a calm and colorful forest clearing, we did, so in an endless white void.
"Are you ready?" He asked me. I nodded back silently. "Then let's get underway. I'm going to close my eyes and focus on stabilizing my emotions to make your read easier. I'll tell you when it's safe to dive in,"
He closed his eyes as his breathing and posture became loose and relaxed.
I waited, feeling the moments go by.
Now that I thought about it, how long had we been in here for? It somehow felt both like only a few minutes and nearly the whole day. A clock would have come in handy.
Of course, that just left me wondering if any clock I made would even be accurate to the time outside.
I created a clock, curiosity getting the better of me. It was a plain digital clock like the one that Nikki had in his room. The time on it read twelve and zero minutes. So either we had been in the mindscape for so long that it was already midnight, or it had just defaulted.
I tossed the clock behind me, picturing it falling down a chasm. The lack of crashing sound behind me confirmed that my idea had worked.
I waited for a little bit longer and then Triumph Flower opened his eyes.
"It's time. Good luck, I know you can do this." He said with a smile that made me feel like all was right in the world.
I closed my eyes and waded into the sea of power. Once again I searched Triumph Flowers psychic power for the thread I needed and once again I held my hand out to it.
As my hand got closer, I felt them again. The memories of evil and cruel emotions washing over me like a vicious wave. But now that I knew, it was different. I knew that if I pulled that string then what I would find would be warmth and happiness. I dismissed the negative emotions around me like they were the leftovers from Mother that they were.
I grabbed the string in front of me and pulled.
The dark returned, swallowing me whole and leaving me in an inky black void.
"Have to admit, this would probably be more terrifying if the mindscape hadn't been almost the same," I said to no one in particular.
I looked at the string still in my hand and followed it towards what looked like a ball of glowing gold light. I gave it a careful tug.
The string held tight. I could use it to drag myself over to where the golden light was.
I grabbed the string with my other hand and started pulling myself when I felt it.
I looked behind me and saw a mass of purple coming straight for me. One look and I knew it for what it was. It was the memories that I had said I would overcome. The trauma that my Mother had left in her wake.
I started pulling faster. The trauma speeding up behind me too. I pulled and pulled, the edges of the Trauma starting to reach me as I started to feel the warm embrace of the golden light.
I almost stopped the first time the trauma licked the bottom of my foot. It was gaining on me, and I had to be quick. The terror of the trauma and the comfort of the glow filled me at an equal pace. Inside of me, both forces clashed.
"I,"
I grabbed the last bit of string before the glow.
"Am,"
I pulled as hard as I could.
"Done,"
I let go as I shot myself towards the glow.
"With you!"
I fell into the glow as the effects of the trauma faded.
This glow, it was joyful, protective, with just a hint of concern grown from fondness.
I had done it, I had read his emotions.
When I woke up, I was in the physical world once more. It looked like that clock I made might not have been wrong after all. The clearing was dark and the stars were out.
Stars that I could see clearly since I had woken with my back to the grassy ground. Out of the bottom of my vision, I could see the small boulder I had been sitting on. If I had to guess, it looked like I had fallen backward from the rock.
There was a weird blurry sound that I just noticed. I blinked and waited a few seconds for the sound to become clearer. The sound repeated two more times before a dark shape appeared in my vision.
"Brook! Are you alright?" The dark shape said in a voice I could have sworn I heard before.
The dark shape picked me up and held me into the light. I could see Nikki's face now, full of worry and concern.
"What happened?"
The memories of what happened swarmed me as I suddenly started laughing. I had done it, I had broken my chains and come out of the mindscape free.
I opened a connection between us and spoke. The message was a simple answer to his question.
"Something amazing!"
I must have passed out from exhaustion after that because the next thing I remembered was waking up the next morning in my pokéball.
I got the rest of the story from Milk and Shroomish. They had all watched for hours as Triumph Flower and I sat on the boulders. Nikki and Wally had come looking for us around sundown. Nothing really happened until a little after midnight.
That had been when I had suddenly passed out and fallen from the rock.
"And that's when Nikki picked you up and you passed out. After that, we all headed back here. Gallade told us the general gist of what happened while you two were in there, congratulations on unlocking your empathy sense by the way," Milk finished the story as she took a bite out of her breakfast.
"How did you do it anyway?" Shroomish asked. "We tried asking Gallade but he was strangely evasive when we asked,"
"That parts on me actually," I told them as I thought about what happened in the mindscape. "I told him not to tell anyone the stuff he learned about me,"
"Well, makes sense to me," Milk shrugged. We finished eating a little while later and set out to find Nikki.
We had apparently stayed the night in Wally's house, mostly because we finished so late. We were going to head out to Lavaridge in a little bit.
About an hour later, Nikki and Laura were standing at the entrance to what Nikki had called the sloped road. It was a newly opened route in-between Verdanturf and Lavaridge. It was also the route to our next gym badge. Nikki had a reason as to why we were challenging this one in particular, but he told me that he would explain it to me on the trip there.
"It was good to see you again Nicholas," Wally said as he held his hand out to Nikki. Nikki grinned and grabbed Wally's arm in a weird looking handshake where they crossed their arms and flexed. Well, they tried to flex in any case. Nikki was on the path of the psychic-type, not the fighting.
They were still saying their goodbyes when Triumph Flower came out of his pokéball.
"Wally, can you ask Nicholas if I can talk to Brook one last time before she leaves?" He asked as he walked up to Wally.
"Sure why not," Nikki said to Wally's and Triumph Flower's shock. "Don't really get why you asked Wally instead of just asking me directly though,"
"You are able to understand me?" Triumph Flower asked as Nikki unclipped my pokéball.
"Well yeah, like I told Wally, I'm training to become a psychic," He said as he expanded my pokéball. I didn't bother waiting for him to send me out. I ran to the entrance at the center of the ball and materialized in front of Triumph Flower.
"Hey there, so what do you want to talk about?" I said as a battle raged inside me.
On one side was an army of blood. They marched with a single purpose, to bring the color red to the world. Specifically by making the blood flow through my face. They claimed that the path of the blushing maiden would win this Gallade's heart.
The next side was the army of ice. The one that wanted to keep cool and talk to Triumph Flower with a steady voice and clear head. They believed that the path of the cool lass would win this Gallade's heart.
The last army was the army of logic. Most disciplined in their ways, this was the army that saw the complicated love square that Triumph Flower was already in and motioned to get as far away from the hot mess as quickly and as far as we could.
Triumph Flower started talking as three armies clashed. To my annoyance, it was the army of blood that took the first battles.
"Listen what I saw in your memories was… rough. Anyone would have had that kind of reaction, so you have no reason to feel embarrassed about it or anything,"
The army of blood took more land as I remembered the way I had acted in the mindscape.
"Yeah sorry about all of that," I told him, trying to throw the army of ice some well-needed reinforcements.
"Don't be," He said with that same stupid smile. "But I did want to talk about one of those things you said in there,"
"What is it?" The battle raged.
"Well, you said that your older brothers weren't exactly nice to you right?" The mental image of him fighting and defeating my brothers sent cheers through both the ice and blood armies even as the logic army pointed out how dumb that was.
"Well, you're probably sick of older brothers by now right?"
All three armies paused as I realized where he was going with this.
"But if you want, I can be like your older brother, is that okay?"
And just like that, the army of logic took the field. They cut vast swaths of the other armies and soon made themselves the clear winners.
"Sure, why not," I said trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice and hoping that he didn't try to use his empathy sense on me.
"Great," He said cheerfully as he put his fist out to me. "Put er there little sis,"
"Sure thing, big bro," I said as my fist met his. Inside of me the armies of Ice and Blood surrendered. They would stand aside and allow the army of logic to forget about the idea of Triumph Flower and move on.
We said a few more goodbyes and soon we were on the sloped path on the way to Lavaridge.
"So what was that about?" Nikki asked me as I stood on my usual shoulder perch. I gave him a sad look and opened a link to him.
"Wally's Gallade is denser than a steel type. Pity Wally's pokémon, because we can get away and they can't,"
Nikki didn't ask me about it again after that. I wasn't sure if he was content with the answer he got or just felt like he didn't want to know. Either way, the result was the same.
I was left to look up at the sky from my shoulder perch. I imagined the images of Delcatty, Roserade and Garchomp imposed onto the morning sky.
Good luck girls, you were going to need it.