Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.
Authors Note: Happy One Year of this fic being up! Thanks for being understanding everyone. I really do appreciate it. THANK YOU FOR OVER 200 REVIEWS! Also, I have a 'editor' of my fics now. She's my long time friend and longer time fan, DANI! Look forward to 'stuff' :D. Also, also, I have a website now (well..a live journal) strictly for this fan fic. It will tell you why I'm not updating, when an update is gonna happen and etc..so check out my profile! The link should be there.
Genderless...One without a Gender
Chapter Ten: Jollies and Jitters
(START: March 22nd FINISH: April 24th)
My Christmas break was very eventful. Long games of Apples to Apples in front of the fire, constant snow ball fights and a celebration of hot chocolate when that clock finally struck twelve surrounded me. I even went back home on the twenty-fifth to visit my father's grave and my mother as well. Before I knew it, the entire month of December flew by.
Soon, exams were poured onto my lap. Studying, pulling all nighters, and lack of human contact filled my life. And before I knew it, January had also flown by in a blink of an eye.
Then, it was February and all sorts of thoughts filled peoples head. "Spring is soon!', "I can't wait for the festival!", and-
"Valentine's Day is this weekend," groaned Tidus from the bunk below.
...Well, that. February is practically National Angst Month, after all.
"I'm so lonely!" Sora angsted while holding onto my 'manly' teddy bear. "No one likes me!"
"No one likes you?" Tidus looked at Sora in disbelief. "I doubt a girl has even looked at me since word got around about Rikku and Yuna!"
'Except Selphie,' I thought silently while browsing through my magazine. 'But I don't think she really counts.'
"Hey," Riku pointed to them. "You guys have it easy. The girl I've liked for nine years wants me to burn in the flaming pits of hell."
"But you have a fan club!" Tidus argued with him. "I'd kill to have that many girls swooning over me."
'If he has girls swooning over him,' I thought. 'Why is he still after me?'
"I'm looonely," Sora suddenly sang while tugging my arm. "I'm Mr. Looonely. I have nobooody to call my-"
"Okay," I covered his mouth with my hand. "Stop before I kick you out of the bed."
"Kairi still loves me!" Sora hugged me in the same fashion as he hugged my stuffed animal. "Right uke?"
"Sure," I rolled my eyes. "Anyways, why are you guys acting so pathetic? It's only Valentine's Day."
"Only Valentine's Day?" Tidus exclaimed. "ONLY Valentine's Day? How can you say-"
"Wait guys," Riku interrupted Tidus. "This is Kairi's first Valentine's Day in this city. He doesn't know how things work around here on the fourteenth."
"How is Valentine's Day different around here?" I asked in curiosity.
"Well," Sora sat up out of his emo stage. "Here you're judged by what you do on V-Day. Who had the best date? Who took who to the best restaurant? Who-"
"Got laid?" I asked bluntly. Hey, they're guys! Do you think they think about anything OTHER than sex?
"Sadly," Tidus groaned. "Yes."
"Yeah," Riku began to further explain. "We had these dates with three girls planned since October."
"We paid for a private karaoke room in advanced and everything," Tidus pouted.
"Last week," Sora turned towards me. "They called us and canceled."
"Oh no!" I frowned in sympathy.
"They found dates in their own town," Riku said. "So, it leaves us with three dateless guys."
"Four dateless guys," Sora pointed to me. The guys turned towards me to look.
"Oh! I couldn't get a date if I wanted to," I thought out loud honestly. "I'm busy on Valentine's Day."
"Aww," Sora gave me the famous 'Sora-puppy-dog-face-2000™'. "You're busy?"
"Yeah," I scratched my head nervously. "I have to, erm, go visit some relatives."
Lie. Total lie. Truth is, Valentine's Day is on the scheduled day that I go and deliver the reports for Wakka's murder case to the office. Cid definitely wouldn't let me get out of that, now matter HOW hard I begged.
Believe me, I tried.
"That sucks," Riku bluntly stated. "But everyone thinks you're gay anyways, so you should be fine"
"...What?" I blinked.
"Valentine's Day is the only day you'll see the confused gay man," Tidus said, referring to the guys who only think they are attracted to men because there is no female influence around. "Go after a chick."
"But yeah," Riku turned his attention back towards me. "Valentine's Day is a huge ordeal."
"And we are all dateless," Tidus moaned.
"And very lonely," Sora repeated for the millionth time that night.
I signed deeply. You can't help but feel sorry for these guys, girl or boy. After thinking a couple of milliseconds, I opened my mouth and blurted, "I'm not certain, but I could probably get you guys dates."
Sora, Tidus, and Riku perked up faster than a flower after a wind storm. "Really?!" The three boys cheered in unison.
"Really, really," I grinned.
"Thank you, Kairi!" Sora exclaimed as he gave me such a big 'bear hug' that I fell over on my bed.
"We'll definitely make this up to you some how!" Tidus yelled in triumph.
"It's no problem," I laughed on the outside. Note, I said outside. Outside Kairi had no problem with this, but inside Kairi was thinking how the hell she got herself into this mess.
...This will not end pretty.
"I'm impressed how much you're improving," Riku held a stop watch in his hands. Yes, I said stop watch. You know what that means! More of Riku's torture!
...Training. I totally didn't say torture. At all. Cough, uncough.
"One lap to go," Riku announced as I turned a corner. "I think you'll defiantly be ready for our first game," Riku told me. "You can hit the balls harder and more accurate than anyone on the team, and you can bench press a horse if you tried."
'Too bad I'll never use any of these skills in the real world,' I groaned to myself.
I finally turned the last corner, concluding my running for the day. I stopped, bent over and clutched my knees like they were a source of air. "I still don't see how lifting weights and running laps will help me spike a ball," I told him honestly as I took a big gulp of my best friend, H2O.
"You'll see," he grinned. "And you'll thank me for this later."
"Sure I will," I wiped the sweat off of my forehead. We both looked at each other and laughed. Riku and I always went through this routine after a week of training.
"I'm not sure what I'm going to do after volleyball season is over," laughed Riku as he patted me on the back.
"Me either," I wiped a small tear droplet from under my eye. "I'll have nothing to do with my time."
"Yeah," Riku smiled at me. "Hey listen. How about I drive you over to Wonderland Coffee?" he asked. "They have great hot chocolate."
"Really?" I perked up. You see, ever since that first day of training when Hayner brought me hot chocolate, I've made it my tradition to buy some every time after I train. So, obviously Riku caught onto it one day. "Thanks!"
"No problem," Riku pulled out his car keys.
"Hold on," I told him, looking for my bag. "I promised I'd call Selphie today. Let me do that really quickly."
"Okay," Riku smirked. He snickered. "You and your girlfriend."
"She's not my girlfriend!" I blurted out and blushed slightly.
"Sure she isn't," Riku grinned innocently and went close to my face. "And we all didn't see that hickey you had back in December when Selphie came to visit either."
"You lie!" I pointed at him. "You LIE!"
"We have photographic evidence," Riku merely replied.
"You took photos of it?" I gawked in disbelief. "Gross!"
"So you admit you had a hickey then?" Riku grinned evilly from ear to ear.
"...It was a bug bite," I lied.
"Sure it was," Riku nodded. "Sure it was."
"OH LOOK! A CELL PHONE!" I tried desperately to change the subject as I dived for my sports bag. "I MUST CALL SELPHIE!"
"You go do that," Riku said. "I'll be waiting in the car."
"Alright," I mumbled as Riku walked away. I immediately then dialed Selphie's number.
Ring, ring.
"Hello?" A tired voice said from the other line.
"Hey Selphie," I cheerfully greeted her. "It's me, Kairi."
"OH! Ms. Kairi Anne!" Selphie greeted back with ten times more cheer than I had. "How are you?"
"Good," I replied. "But can you stop calling me Kairi Anne and Kairi Marie? My name is Kairi-"
"Sure Kairi," Selphie giggled. "Anywho, what is up?"
"Nothing," I laughed back. "I just finished training and I decided to call you before we went to get drinks. You?"
"I'm fine," Selphie replied. "You should see our school now, Kairi! It's in some sort of uproar over Valentine's Day! Everyone's trying to find dates at the last second! But you know what? I don't need a date because-" Selphie started to ramble.
'At least it's not just this town,' I thought. 'Wait a minute! That's it!'
"And so I'm not going to celebrate this stupid holiday!" concluded Selphie. "The end!"
"Hey Selphie," I smiled slyly.
"Yes?" Selphie asked. "What is it, Kairi Marie?"
"How would you like to celebrate Valentine's Day where I live? I can get you a date with a boy and everything," I suggested to her.
"Really?" Selphie exclaimed. "I would love to celebrate Valentine's Day over there! I wonder if I can get a train over there."
"I'm sure you can," I told her. I then heard Riku honk the horn of his car at me, signaling me to hurry up. "Hey Selphie? I got to go but I'll call you later with the details, okay?"
"Alright, Ms. Kairi!" Selphie replied in her usual bubbly tone. "I'll talk to you later."
"See you," I told her.
"Bye!"
And with that we both hung up. I stuffed my cell phone into my pocket and waved towards Riku. This was easier than I thought! I already have two dates for the boys! One, obviously, is Selphie. The other girl happens to be Paine. Hey, I may not know her well but what were the chances she'd have a date?
No offence.
Maybe things are finally starting to look my way.
"One small hot chocolate," I smiled at the cashier.
"Coming right up, Kairi," said the boy. Isn't it sad that I've been here so much, they know me by name?
I went to stand to the side, as the regular routine would suggest to do after you order. Haha. I bet I look mega attractive right now. Baggy sweats, my face all shiny and oily from running. Yep, all the boys are jumping at me.
...Ha.
"Here you go," the cashier boy winked at me. "I put some extra marshmallows in it."
"Thanks," I smiled sweetly back. Oh brother! "How much do I owe you?"
"Two twenty five," the boy recited. I handed the cashier the money, mumbled my thanks, and headed for the door. I saw Riku parked in his car and headed over there.
"Took you long enough," laughed the silver haired boy.
"It took me a minute or two!" I argued.
"I know," Riku laughed. "I just hate this place. It's full of preps and queers."
...Bluntly put, Riku.
"Kairi!" I heard a familiar voice from behind. "Is that you?"
I turned around and saw a familiar blonde girl, surrounded by her friends, waving to me. "Hey Namine!" I waved back. I handed my hot chocolate to Riku. "Hold this a second," I told him. I walked over to Namine. "What's up?"
"Nothing," she giggled. "I was just seeing how long it would take you to notice me standing here."
"Heh," I chuckled. "Sorry."
"It's fine," Namine smiled. I smiled too, for different reasons.
"Hey Namine," I addressed the blonde. "Do you have any plans for Valentine's Day?"
"No," Namine stated as her unfamiliar friends hooted and cheered. "Why?"
"How would you like to go on a triple date to a karaoke bar?" I asked her. As much as it pains me to ask her, Namine is not only my best female friend over here, but also the girl Sora is crazy over. Sucks to be me.
"Karaoke?" Namine pondered out loud. "Sounds innocent enough. Who all will be there?"
"Riku, Sora, Tidus, Paine," I named off the list. "And my best friend, Selphie, from back home."
The impatient Riku honked his horn at me. "Sure," Namine agreed. "Text me later with the details."
"Will do," I said while walking to Riku's car. "Thank you so much, Namine!"
"No problem!" Namine called back to me. I turned around and stepped inside Riku's car.
"What was that all about?" Riku asked me as he handed me my hot chocolate.
"Nothing," I said slyly, taking the drink. "Just finding you guys your dates for Valentine's Day."
"Seriously?!" Riku exclaimed. "That fast?"
"Yep," I grinned. "I'm just amazing like that."
"Wow!" Riku started up the car. "That's great! The rest of the guys will be thrilled!'
'They better be,' I thought silently.
Riku pulled out into the road full of busy traffic. "You don't know how much this means to us," Riku said. "We've been planning this for awhile. It would suck majorly if it were all wasted."
"It's no problem," I merely replied. "I have my connections."
Beep! My phone went off.
"And that's one of them now," I laughed ironically. I opened my phone and saw the message ONE NEW TEXT. I curiously opened it up.
"Hey Kairi. It's me, Paine. Listen, I can't do that Valentine's Day thing anymore. Something came up. I'm sorry; I'll make it up to you.
-Paine."
My jaw dropped. What was I going to do? Valentine's Day was in two days! There was no way I was going to find another date in that short of time!
...Or was I?
Kairi, the match maker, 4000! Game Start!
We've all played video games before and I know you've all played at least one RPG. All RPGs are remotely similar. There is trouble in the world, boy (or girl) with special powers saves the day, and they get the girl in the end. My life is sort of like an RPG. Except, the only special power I have is my ability to belch loud and that, by no means, is going to help me find another date for the Valentine's Day.
And if it does, so God help me...
Believe me, I've looked everywhere for a date. I've called every girl I know in town and asked them to call their friends as well. I even went to the girl's school and asked everything in a skirt if they were free.
Zip,
Nada,
Nothing.
"What's wrong, uke?" Sora asked me. "You aren't eating your pizza."
I lifted up my head. I was so deep in thought, I forgot that we were all out to eat at Peter Pan's Pizza. "Sorry," I smiled bashfully. "I was day dreaming."
"It's okay," Tidus smiled as he bit into a chepep. "Man! I wish we could know who are dates are."
"Me too," Riku agreed.
"You'll find out tomorrow! Don't get your boxers in a bunch!" I exclaimed. 'Yeah,' I groaned. 'Tomorrow they'll find out I'm a horrible friend and a liar.'
"Oh!" Sora winked at me. "They must be hot then."
Insert forehead slap here.
"Everybody," Riku stood up and said loud enough for us to hear. He raised his glass of soda. "I think it's time to propose a toast. To Kairi!"
"To Kairi!" Tidus cried, lifting his water.
"To Kairi!" Sora cheered extra loud.
"To me," I mumbled and sunk down in my chair.
"Banzai!" We all clanked our glasses together.
Everyone cheered loudly as they chugged their drinks, while I secretly sat there sulking. I promised them, as their friend, to get them dates and I failed. Only a miracle could save me now.
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, BANANA PHONE!
All the boys put down their drinks and stared at me. Crap! I thought I turned my phone off! My ring tone is so embarrassing! Well, at least it isn't Barbie Girl.
...Anymore.
"Hold on guys," I went to answer my phone. "Hello?"
"Hi Kairi," I heard my boss, Cid, say. "Are you alone?"
I paused and held up my phone so Cid could hear the clattering of plates and the chatter of teens in the pizzeria. "What do you think?" I asked him.
"Just go outside for a minute," Cid told me. "It won't take long."
"Will do," I told him. I covered up the receiver and told my friends, "I'm going to take this outside."
"Alright," Sora mumbled through his fifth slice. "Go ahead."
"Thanks," I quickly left the table and went outside. Once out, I checked to see if anyone was around. When I saw the coast was clear, I help up my cell phone and went, "I'm alone now. What's up?"
"Bad news," Cid groaned. "It's about the reports."
"The reports?" I went. "The ones I'm delivering to Alice tomorrow?" I asked, referring to an innocent blonde lady in our office.
"Yeah," Cid said. "The thing is, Alice can't make it. Her and her boyfriend are out to celebrate Valentine's Day."
"Perfectly understandable," I nodded. "So, who will I be delivering them to?"
"Well," Cid started to say. I gulped.
"Don't tell me," I said.
"I'm afraid so," Cid said. "Everyone's busy on Valentine's Day. There isn't anyone to deliver them to."
"So what am I-" I began to say.
"I know, Kairi," Cid tried to calm me down. "I know it's last minute but we need to reschedule it to next weekend. Make sure your schedule is clear."
I took a deep breath to calm myself. "Will do Cid. Take care."
"See you," Cid said his farewells. I immediately hung up the phone.
"Christ!" I exclaimed while jamming the phone back into my pocket. What am I supposed to do now? I have nothing to do tomorrow, I'm short one day, my friends are going to kill me and-"
Wait a minute...
NO
...Why me?
I sighed and thought to myself, 'Well, it looks like my sister will have to be Paine's replacement.'
God must have a death wish for me.
End of Chapter 10
Authors Note: Remember to keep sending your ideas in! It doesn't matter if it'll go with the plot or not..or even if you just say "Have them go to the park!". There is like..4ish chapters that I have ideas for..but I really don't like them..and they are coming up really soon. I need these chapters because after them it's going to be BAM no more fillers and back to murder mystery you'll see. And also, don't' be afraid to correct me on things. Sometimes I get annoyed but most of the time I'll appreciate it!
And btw..I already have the next chapter written. This chapter was so long that I decided to split it up. Once I'm halfway done with writing Chapter 12, I'll post Chapter 11!