Catch the Falling Sky
Part X
I
She spends two days in her bed, thinking about everything that happened in the past, every choice she made, every step she took.
It seems so painfully obvious that she made a mistake, but the tears that stain her lilac pillow speak differently.
She hates the cold but she misses it in this moment, misses golden eyes and lullabies. Still, she misses brown eyes and warmth and the beach just as much. And she knows, the first ache will pass with time. In the end, it is going to be only warmth she will need.
Smiles. Kisses. Hugs. Family. Heartbeat.
II
Cowardice. It is what she calls herself these days. Edward is gone, she could give it a try. Drive to La Push and just see. But his words echo in her memory, pierce her heart.
Will he even want to see her? Is there a chance for them to go back? Can he forgive her, when she can barely forgive herself?
Sometimes she sits in her truck – the truck he repaired for her – and contemplates driving the few minutes down the road. But she never dares to.
She craves his warmth. But she needs to see him smile even more.
III
"How's Jake?"
Charlie looks at her with wide eyes as he sits down at the table, no more eyes for the lasagne in front of him.
"He's… ehm… good, I guess."
She feels everything inside her tremble, and she leans against the counter for support.
"Yeah? That's good."
"He's got a girlfriend. Or at least I think he has. Don't know what you young people got going these days."
The one word she never allows herself to think wavers through her mind. Imprinting. Could he…?
"Why don't you just drive down there and talk to him, Bells?"
She nods absent-mindedly.