I'm happy with how this one turned out. I feel that in this chapter, the plot was easier to work with so the characters don't seem as off. Sadly, I couldn't give everyone all the spotlight that they deserve...

Well, here it is. The second to last chapter. Please enjoy!

One Piece belongs to Oda-sensei and Alice in Wonderland to Mr. Carroll. I just mashed the two together to make a remix.

When Luffy arrived at the courtroom, everyone else were already in their seats. The King and Queen of Hearts sat facing the defendant and between those two parties was a table. Every square inch possible on that tabletop was filled with tarts in the shape of a heart, except for five of them which were shaped like letters that spelled out the name, "Luffy." To Luffy's right was the jury box and to the left was Zorobunny, who was supposed to be a juror but was having difficulty finding his way to the jury box.

When Luffy took his seat as one of the jurors, he noticed that the jurors consisted of all the officers from Baroque Works, Princess Vivi, King Cobra, Franky, Brook, Usopp, and Chopper. He greeted everyone and turned his attention to the courtroom floor where the defendant was now standing.

The defendant on trial was the Knave who looked a lot like Nami. It actually was Nami. Nobody saw it coming.

"I'm telling you, I didn't lay a finger on the King's crown!" she protested. "I'm innocent, you can search every inch of my body, but you won't find anything!"

"Rabbit, read the charges!" Hancock jabbed her finger at Zoro.

"Are you blind? I'm a person!" he leered back defiantly at the Queen.

"Then why are you dressed as a rabbit?"

"Because I can't reach the stupid zipper on the back with these dumb rabbit paws!"

"Then it must be destiny for you to be a rabbit. A rabbit always reads the charges and you're close enough! Read it or I'll have you executed!"

Grumbling about how if he had his swords, he'd be able to kill anyone who tries it, rabbit suit or not, Zoro unfurled the scroll and tonelessly read out the charges:

"The Knave of Hearts, she stole the tarts."

Nami stopped breathing. "The tarts? That's it? Nothing about a round, expensive, valuable accessory that kings wear?"

Zoro skimmed the line for a good ten seconds. "Nope."

Nami let out a giant sigh of relief. "Pheeeew! But wait, I didn't steal any tarts! And this time, I'm really telling the truth!"

"Consider your verdict," Crocodile addressed the jury box.

"Not yet, your majesty!" Brook stood up. "There are regulations that must be followed in a trial!"

Crocodile, a bit taken aback that any pirate or criminal gathered here would even know anything about court and proper court procedure, stared at the skeleton for a few seconds before relenting. "Very well. How shall we go about this trial?"

The skeleton with the afro stood up and stepped down onto the courtroom floor. The whole room was silent as everyone tried to anticipate what he would do next. He walked across the floor; the only sounds that were heard were the clicking of his boots' heels and the echoes they created. He stopped when he was right in front of the queen's seat and looked up at her. He tipped his hat.

"May I see your panties, please?"

It wasn't until two minutes later, a large scuffle, and a lot of "Off with his head!" threats and "Yohohoho" chortles before order was restored. Brook shakily stood up, sporting bruises, lumps, bandages, and fractures all over his bony stature. "Let's call forth the first witness, shall we?" he jovially said in a tone that sounded like nothing had happened but everyone knew something just did. "The first witness is Mad Hatter Shanks!"

The doors opened and the very man walked in. With him were two mugs of rum, one in each hand, and Mihawk and Benn.

"I beg pardon, your Majesty, for bringing these in; but I hadn't quite finished my rum when I was sent for," Shanks chuckled.

Crocodile made a face. "You ought to have finished. When did you begin?"

"14th of March, I think."

"15th," Mihawk corrected.

"16th," Benn corrected the both of them.

Crocodile decided that these facts were unimportant and decided to move on to the next matter at hand. "Take off your hat."

Shanks shook his head. "Oh, it's not mine. You see, I'm a hatter, I give it to a bright, aspiring kid to treasure and to return it to me when he becomes a great pirate. Ain't that right, Luffy?" He looked up into the jury box and threw his hat off to Luffy who caught it in shock.

"Wait, Shanks, you already gave me your hat, how did—" he stopped talking when he patted his head and realized that there never was a hat there.

Shanks smiled at him and chuckled. "I told you, I'm a hatter."

"That makes no sense," Crocodile tried to get the focus back onto the trial, "Give your evidence."

Shanks looked up imploringly at the king. "I'm a poor man, only Mihawk said—"

"Don't involve me in this," Mihawk curtly stated.

"But you said you got my back!"

"I don't recall ever making such a promise."

Shanks sputtered some nonsense at the shock of Mihawk's betrayal before he tried addressing Crocodile again. "Well at any rate, Benn said…." He turned his head to see if Benn would also abandon him. But Benn just sighed and gave his captain a thumbs-up. Shanks beamed a giant smile at his trustworthy first mate.

"Well, what did Benn say?" Crocodile asked.

Shanks took a swig from one of his mugs. "I don't remember."

Crocodile bit down on his cigar.

Shanks raised his hands, mugs still attached to both of them, in defense. "I'm a poor man!"

"You're a poor speaker."

" Ow! Suuuper comeback~!" Franky shouted from the jury box. He was already doing his special pose before Usopp and Chopper could even pull him back into his seat.

"Okay, the second witness is Sanji-san!" Brook announced.

Sanji entered the court and just stood there, staring at Hancock with hearts in his eyes and drool pooling in his mouth.

Crocodile sighed. "What are tarts made out of?" he questioned the cook.

Sanji put on a more serious face when he heard the question. He lowered his head, visibly shaking. "Me….melo…" he mumbled.

"Melons?" Crocodile guessed.

Sanji's head immediately jerked up. The pressure of the blood flowing out from his nostrils may be to blame for that. "Mellorine~~~!" he shouted as he twirled towards Hancock.

Hancock, who was thoroughly disgusted of this man and his behavior, completely lost it. "Off with his head! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his eyebrow! " she shrieked. It was sudden and so shrill that everybody got up and ran in all directions out of pure adrenaline. When the commotion and Hancock had been quelled, the cook had disappeared and was nowhere to be seen.

Brook straightened his hat. "Well, I suppose we should call forth the third witness now. The third witness is—"

"Luffy!" Hancock happily squealed.

I'm glad that the Hatter in the Carroll text brought his tea with him. That way, I was able to let Shanks bring his rum. And Zorobunny makes a reappearance lol

So where did Sanji disappear off to? He's lying down in the jury box where Chopper is treating him.

And Shanks and his little posse? They left when Sanji was called in to testify but when Shanks got back to the table, he realized that he lost his pocket watch. Now he's wanders around shouting, "Where has the time gone?" Mihawk eventually found it but has refused to return it to Shanks until it was fixed by Benn.

Oh gosh, the next chapter is the final chapter...Thanks so much for sticking with this story for so long!