AN: Guys, I'm sorry this had taken so long. Like, no joke, I just looked the other day and I was like, "Woah… How the *bleep* has it been six months since I updated?" Nonetheless, I'd like to say I'm glad to be back and writing this chapter!
And twenty reviews, you guys? I don't even deserve that, after how horribly I treated you. I'm seriously sorry.
I own Maximum Ride like Dylan is right for Max. Meaning, I have never owned it and I will never own it.
Set it to the Max
Max's POV
Really, Max? Hide the beer? That's really the best you could come up with? I thought to myself. Running away from the door, I turned down the hall into the kitchen, where the rest of my family was waiting.
"Really Max? Hide the beer? That's the best you could come up with?" Angel said to me, obviously not amused.
"Angel… Can you project your voice into my head?" I asked, surprised at how she was able to mimic my thoughts. Not waiting for her to start talking, I continued speaking. "Wait, of course you can. My whole life makes sense now! No wonder I always had that little voice in the back of my head…"
My whole family stared at me in alarm. Questioning my sanity, no doubt.
"Kidding!" I laughed, enjoying their hilarious expressions. "Jeez, you guys are easy to fool," I muttered under my breath.
"…Where are the Walkers?" Mom asked.
"Umm… After calling them the po-po then running into the house, I may or may not have slammed the door in their faces, leaving them awkwardly standing on the porch…" I trailed off, looking at my mom nervously, waiting for her reaction.
Thankfully, instead of blowing up in my face, my mom took the more pleasant route of sighing and rolling her eyes.
"Go get them," she commanded. Eager to avoid more trouble, I hurried around to the front door again, and opened the door another time to once again see the faces of four very confused-looking people.
"Sorry," I grimaced, stepping to the side so they could get in. "Please, come in."
They cautiously stepped in, looking around as if they expected to see dead bodies hanging from the ceiling, or perhaps a lovely demon lounging on our couch.
"Hello!" My mother said excitedly, stepping out from the kitchen and going to greet Mrs. Walker wih a handshake.
"It's so lovely to meet you!" Mrs. Walker responded, shaking my mother's hand firmly. As they shook hands, Angel, Gazzy, and Ella came from around the corner, walking as carefully as you would on a minefield, or maybe a battlefield.
Soldiers, we are in unmanned territory. Y'know, I always did think that Soldier Max had a great ring to it.
"These are my kids!" Mom said, as we all assembled into a line behind her.
"This is Ariel," she gestured to Angel, who smiled sweetly.
"This is Zephyr," to which Gazzy said, "But you can call me Gazzy," to which I was quick to add our signature catchphrase: "A word to the wise, stay upwind."
After shooting me her best shut up and don't embarrass me look, mom continued with, "And this is Ella," to which Ella gave a quick grin and a, "hello."
"And this… this is dear Max," mom finished, sweeping her newly painted fingers in my direction.
"But you can call me Fabulous," I said, flipping my hair, "Or Beyoncé."
Mrs. Walker looked confused, but quickly shook off her confusion.
"Your kids seem lovely," Mrs. Walker gushed. "Simply great." Yeah, we seem pretty lovely until you get into a conversation with us, I thought.
"And these are my kids", she started, her kids forming a line behind her, similar to the barricade we had behind our mom.
Now it's war. And I will fight all the way through! Soldier Max to the rescue! Or is that Maxie Mouse's catch phrase… Eh, I'll figure that out later.
"This is Monique," She began, gesturing to Monique in the way my mom had gestured to us, "And this is Jeff," She said, gesturing to the pale blonde kid, "and this is Nick." She finished, waving her hand in the direction of the olive-skinned, black haired kid. Jeff and Nick both did that nod thing to acknowledge us, y'know, that nod that bros do, like, yo, 'sup Homie G? However, Nudge did not seem content with a simple bro nod. No, she had to jump into a speech that sounded suspiciously like rambling.
"Hi, hi, hello! I'm Monique, but you can call me Nudge because I feel like it would just be such a cool and different name to have! Don't you think so? I also like the name Tiffany. And Crystal. And Tiffany-Crystal. But, you know, Monique is also a pretty name, so I'm down with it." She finished.
"…Tiffany Crystal would be a cool name to have!" Ella said enthusiastically. "I feel like Ella's such a plain and boring name. Like, everyone else has super-cool names. Like, Ariel's nickname is Angel, which is so cool and mysterious, and Zephyr is so unique, and Max is so sporty and sophisticated, but I'm just Ella."
"I think Ella's a pretty name." Nudge offered, smiling at Ella. I could already tell the two of them were going to be great friends.
"Well, dinner's ready, so we should head to the dining room." Mom smiled, motioning us in the direction of the dining room.
Once we got into the room, Mrs. Walker asked, "Where is everyone going to sit?" Everyone glanced uncertainly at the chairs, then at everyone else in the room. Finally, I sighed and got to work.
"Mom first. Since you baked and it's your house and all that, you should sit at the head of the table." I paused to drag my mom to the head of the table.
"And Mrs. Walker, you should sit at the other end of the table because you have authority over half of the other minors in this room. Ella, you should sit next to mom because you two look alike, so it will be ironic. Nudge, you should sit next to Ella because you two get along so well. Angel, you should sit between Nudge and Mrs. Walker because 1. Nudge is the closest girl to your age, and 2. Your deceptive sweetness will charm Mrs. Walker. Jeff, you sit next to Mrs. Walker because I have a feeling that your mother keeps a close eye on you, 'cause I know a fellow troublemaker when I see one." One by one, I dragged everyone to their seats until there were only two seats left, and only Nick and I were the only ones still standing.
"Nick," I started, "You should sit next to Jeff because he's a boy, and he's your brother, and he's your age, so you guys can sit and do your bro things together." I grabbed Nick's forearms in attempt to begin dragging him to the table, only to be floored by the strength of his arms.
"Dang, girl! You are muscular!" I said, squeezing his forearms in surprise.
In response, he arched an eyebrow at me. "I'm a guy." He said, his voice low. It occurred to me that this was the first time I had heard him talk.
"It speaks." I said sarcastically, dragging him to the seat next to Jeff. Finally, the only seat remaining was between Nick and my mom. "And I will sit here, because I am awesome like that. Also, I'm betting my mom wants to be sitting close enough that she can kick me if I do something wrong." I finished, sitting in my own seat.
"That was an… interesting way of seating us, Max." Mrs. Walker said.
After a brief (and awkward) silence, my mom said, "I'll go get the food. Max, Ella; help me with it." We all hurried to the kitchen, returning moments later with plates of chicken, bowls of vegetables, mashed potatoes, gravy, and bottles of juice.
"You didn't have to make so much food," Mrs. Walker said. "I hate to inconvenience you like that."
"She really did. My siblings and I eat like pigs." I voiced, taking several pieces of chicken to prove my point.
"Max! Serve the guests first!" Mom scolded.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I rolled my eyes. "How much chicken do you want, Nick?" I asked. In response, he shrugged.
"I'll take that as a, 'I don't want chicken,'" I decided, moving on to Iggy.
After I got all the way around the table, I put the serving platter back on the table and sat in my chair.
"Can someone pass the mashed potatoes?" I asked. Angel passed them to my side of the table.
As I began spooning several large spoonful's onto my plate, Mrs. Walker began asking my questions.
"So, how old are you Max?"
"I'm fourteen."
"How lovely! That's the same age as Jeff and Nick. Maybe you'll have some classes with them at school."
"Maybe. I kinda doubt it though."
"Why?"
"Because… Never mind."
The conversation died down after that, and we went back to eating our food. Apparently, the Walker kids liked food as much as us Rides did.
Fang's POV
I take back all assumptions of normalcy I made about this family. If anything, they are crazier than my family, which is saying something.
The youngest one (I think her name is Ariel or something) is that kind of sugary sweet that is borderline creepy and kind of makes me think that she will be either a lawyer or a mass murderer someday. The second youngest (the one whose name sound like a fart) smells suspiciously like beans. And Max… Max just randomly blurts out whatever comes to her mind. I mean, most of its pretty funny most of the time, but it's kinda like she has no filter between her mind and her mouth. The only normal ones are the mom and the other daughter, Ella or whatever.
Here is an example of their craziness:
We were in the middle of dinner when Max poured a glass of juice. It would've been normal, had she not said the following after pouring it:
"I'm thinking of going on a juice cleanse. Did you know that if you go on a juice cleanse, you can lose ten pounds through poop?"
And she didn't even say it jokingly. She was completely normal about it; conversational, even.
Safe to say, I won't be doing a juice cleanse for a long time.
I said maybe two things the whole meal. I don't even know what they would've expected me to say in response to anything any of them said. "Why yes, I have been on a juice cleanse myself." Really!
They were an interesting family, I guess, but they were, as I have said repeatedly, insane. I don't think we'll be coming back again for a long, long time.
AN: That's what you think, Fang…
I'm sorry if this was confusing. If you got confused, PM me and I'll explain it to you.
Review responses:
Midnight-Rose4563: I love Pewds! I also love Marzia. They're so cute together! And I'm glad I was able to make you laugh.
Hope-Hikari: Well, Max is pretty random in the actual series, so I wanted to make her that random in the story. And I forget almost all my friends birthdays. Sometimes, I'll shove my trash into their hands and yell, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They get so freaked out.
CatieBug14: I guess I kinda failed you on that… I hope you enjoyed the chapter, though!
DAMN-MAN: I did, so… mission accomplished, I guess.
DeliciousBlood: *Brofist* I start squealing every time someone tells me they're a bro!
PalmerPie: I'm so glad I made your day! Y'know… six months ago…
Saige Shadows: It was my favorite chapter to write, too!
Guest (the one who reviewed on 3/19/13): I guess I didn't get to it fast enough… But I truly appreciate the praise! It made me smile when I saw it!
Skatzaa: Thank you for the compliment!
maxride227: Thanks! I think that it was a general consensus that people's favorite line from the last chapter was: HOLY SHOOT. I THINK IT'S THE PO-PO. HIDE THE BEER! I actually said that to my friend once. XD
The Gone Angel: He is pretty epic. But if Max left the beer, then the po-po could trace her!
Guest (the one who reviewed on 3/19/13): Thanks!
Bro fist: OMG! I loved Crooked Man! Scared me half to death, though.
Guest (the one who reviewed on 3/19/13): No problem! I'm glad so many people take the time to read my little story!
Random: That's okay. It took me forever to decide where the heck I'm taking this plot, though. BROFIST!
MusicAnonymous: Aw! I like you vaguely too! Bros are awesome. And you cannot deny that Gazzy was always kind of hookery (hooker-ish? Hooker-like?) But, anyways… yeah.
Rosalie: But if you hide the beer, then poor Max won't be able to find it! XD
life is short so am I: I LOVE your screen pic! I have that quote saved on my iPod!
Iwantwings: Sorry it took so long. :(
Zaphara98: Yeah, if you put 'cute' and 'villain name' in the same sentence, they kinda cancel each other out.
Woah, that was a lot… How many of you are there?
Anyways… Yeah.
Luffles, Sunsets