AN: Bonsoir! Yay! Back from Wales…much as I love it (sheep frolicking merrily, grand mountains, my entire family gabbling at me in Welsh about tractors), there is a distinct lack of internet in my gran's neck of the woods (Dolgellau, for those of you who know about these things). Anway…I digress…I'm glad you all liked the last part, my sisters (in their supreme knowledge…) liked it the best. This one's a tad sappy, I hate to say, but I hope I will be forgiven. Read on, and remember: meloves reviews. And cookies, thanks Amberhawk :D dd xx
"Hey, Pads? …you in here? …Sirius?"
"…"
"…um…Sirius? …you're missing a really good party…Wormtail just sang 'Wild Thing' on the karaoke…"
"…"
"…oh gods…Padfoot? I know you're in here…"
"…"
"…um…why is there a huge cake on my bed? …"
"Surprise!"
"Aaaaah! Shit, Sirius! Don't do that! …"
"Happy Birthday, Moony!"
"Aaaaaah!"
"Like it?"
"…"
"…well?"
"Um…let me get this straight…you forsook (AN: what a weird past participle…anyway…) a veritable orgy of Butterbeer, raucous singing and teenage hormones to crouch in a cardboard cake for hours…dressed in nothing but a turquoise spangly thong?"
"Got it in one, Remus."
"With only a pair of maracas for company?"
"And a can of squirty cream."
"Argh! Don't attack me with the cream!"
"Too late, sorry…"
"Wonderful. What a…kind and thoughtful gift. I …I shall never forget this moment."
"Really?"
"Actually, Sirius, I probably won't. I'm scarred for life…will you please stop…wiggling your…booty?"
"I think I make quite an attractive belly-dancer, actually…"
"There's no doubt about that…but really. You'll catch your death, it's only March. Would you pass me a tissue?"
"It was quite warm in that cake, y'know."
"Glad to hear it. Are you coming to join the festivities?"
"Dressed like this?"
"Well, whose stupid fault is it that you're dressed up like a pole dancer, anyway?"
"Hmph."
"Aww…don't look like that, Pads. It really is…man, you make me laugh so much…I'm one lucky werewolf…c'mere…wipe that cream off your face first, please…"
"Well…I haven't given you your present yet."
"Wasn't that it?"
"That? Oh, no, no my dear Moony. That was merely…a prelude…an introduction, if you will…hold the maracas a minute, there's a good chap, let me just find it…"
"Um…Sirius…can you not bend over when wearing that…item of clothing?"
"Hehe."
"Can you stop being lecherous for one moment of your life? For my birthday?"
"I'm sorry. It's against my principles. Now, where the feck is it?"
"…"
"Ah! Here we go…open that, my boy!"
"…man, that's heavy."
"C'mon, c'mon! Quickly, it's just wrapping paper."
"Okay, okay, hold your horses!"
"…"
"…I …oh, my good lord, Sirius."
"Well?"
"…"
"…it's okay, isn't it…I mean, I can take it back if you like, it won't be any bother, I've got the receipt if you want to cha – mphrwglfg…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…gods, Sirius, what have I done to deserve you? I must have been really, really good in a past life…"
"…um…you like it, then?"
"Yes. Yes…I do."
"Good. Um…I got something to go with it, you see…here you go…"
"Oh, wow…Pads, I didn't need all this fuss, you know."
"Yes you did. Noone else has ever deserved it more. And anyway…it doesn't say half of what I want it to…um…"
"Look at this…wow, it's proper smart…and…oh, Sirius, look, you even had my name put on it. That's so cool." (AN: corny, I know, having Sirius buy him the briefcase we first see him with in PoA. But oh well.)
"Glad you like it."
"Man, it makes me want to get a job right now, so I can carry around my official papers in it! Imagine me striding through London carrying this…with a black umbrella and stuff…"
"While I stay at home and cook, wearing a frilly pink apron, and wait for you to get home…"
"It would take a greater man than me to domesticate you."
"Hey! You make me sound like some sort of an animal."
"Well…oh, man, there's stuff inside…"
"Yeah, yeah…you don't think I'd just buy you an empty briefcase, do you?"
"What have we got here? Oh, lord…Beethoven, Elgar…Fauré…Handel…this is just…just…beyond words…"
"Um…"
"I didn't even think you remembered…you know…when you forced me to play…"
"Not remember? Gods, Remus, how could I forget?"
"But…it was just one piece, just some stupid etude…and you were teasing me, you and James…and you were drunk and stuff…and it was someone else's shitty violin…"
"Remus. Moony…it was the most perfect thing. It was…like…I dunno…you looked like something from another world…"
"An alien? Oh, gee, thanks."
"No, no…like…man…an angel or something."
"Oh, great, Pads, not at all clichéd."
"I mean it. I was…teasing you…so you wouldn't see me crying."
"I'm not that good, y'know. I haven't played in ages…I …"
"You're fucking brilliant, you prodigy. Any anyway…I thought we could form, like…a band or something. You on the violin…and me on the maracas."
"Um…yeah, sure. You've got some funky Latino rhythms going on there, my son."
"Hehe."
"Um…Padfoot?"
"Uh-huh."
"Listen…you really shouldn't spend so much money on me…I …I'm so grateful…and I…it's just, I can never repay stuff like this…you know I can't match it…and…I really really am not worthy…I don't understand why anyone would buy me…a recorder, let alone an antique violin."
"Remus."
"Mm."
"Shut up."
"Um…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"I love you. If I want to shower you with gifts, I shall. You've got all the fancy words and poems and stuff to show me what you…um…feel for me…and I've got the cash…so you get a swanky briefcase…and I get to hear you play music that makes my heart ache in return. To be honest, I think I get the better deal there…"
"Ah, man…you have to keep reminding me…to make it up to you every day." (AN: argh, I hate myself…wretched fluff…)
"Mm."
"Every day."
"Yes. Now…did you want to go back to the common room?"
"Man…I'd forgotten about the party…it seems like years ago."
"I know. Mind you, I could do with stretching my legs. It's bloody cramped in that there cake, I'll have you know."
"I don't doubt it. Is it edible?"
"Sadly not. You can have some of the cream, if you like."
"Na, you're alright."
"Are we going, then?"
"You know what?"
"What?"
"Fuck them. They only organised that party as a convenient excuse for a booze-up…let's stay here forever instead."
"Actually…they organised the party so you'd be in a suitably inebriated state for me to seduce you."
"Shut up…come and sit by me."
"K."
"…"
"…"
"This is…so great."
"Yeah."
"We should have done this years ago."
"I know."
"…"
"So…er…tell me, is it comfortable wearing that thing?"
"Well, I confess it has a tendency to chafe between the thighs…and it is a bit cold…but better than the leather trousers I tried on in the shop."
"Um…good."
"It came in pink, too…but I thought after the Slytherin debacle t'other day, I should stick with the turquoise."
"Wise choice. Goes well with your chest hair."
"Are you mocking me, Mr Lupin?"
"As if."
"So…you going to play me a choon on that fiddle then?"
"Na…not now…"
"Hmph."
"I would…only my hands have got better things to do, if truth be told."
"Would you care to elaborate?"
"Only too happy to oblige…"
"…mmm…"
"…"
"…Happy Birthday, Moony."
AN: quite short, this one, I think. Hope it brought a smile to your faces…I confess I have seen someone in a spangly thong (at the opera, no less!) and it wasn't half as pretty as how I imagine Sirius to be…oh dear, bad thoughts. Moving on…do come back soon to join the boys as they wind up in detention. Again. dd xxx PS did anyone see Doctor Who? How GOOD? Man, David Tennant is too fit for his own good…