- - - Meanwhile, in a nearby house - - -
Reader A: Hey look. another chapter of Steel 'n' Blade Co. was posted. Man this one is big.
Reader B: Really? What does the word counter says about it?
Reader A: It's OVER 9000!
Reader B: WHAT? Nine thousand? Are you sure?
Reader A: Not really. Actually it is around thirteen thousand words long.
Reader B: ...
Reader A: What?
- - - Back to the actual note - - -
Well, yeah, people, I think I overdid myself int his one, but that is just because of a special thing there is int eh middle of the chapter and because it is important to the future plot (mainly because of the character that appear here).
Anyway, hope you all enjoy it, because I'm sure some people have been waiting for it!
Also, I don't know why, but I haven't got any answer from my beta-reader and I already have another chapter just waiting revision, so forgive me for any grammar mistakes here. I reviewed this thing to try and make sure the most basic mistakes were covered. Oh and since it was him who completed Mario's lines whit the "-a"s to make the impression of the accent, this will be missing in these chapters.
Chapter 10
Exes and Actuals
Link was feeling like someone was intensively watching him. But who could it be? Ganondorf? Probably. Bowser? Hum… maybe. Mario. He wasn't the kind of person to analyze his opponents with that frequency, this was more Snake's style.
The Hero was in the line for breakfast, when he got that sensation again and, by what his senses told him, his stalker was right behind him. The Hero turned to look; there was nobody behind him except by Marth and Samus. Wait. Could Marth be the one who had been stalking him?
Wait a minute. What the hell? How can he be as blind as to not see the lustful look Samus was giving him? Ugh, I need a drink after narrating this one…
…
Ok, now I'm good. Back to the story.
"Marth, can I ask you a question?" Link asked Marth. That's it. This guy's definitely going to my "idiot characters" list.
"Certainly. What is it?" Marth answered in his noble manner and with a friendly smile on his face.
"Why have you been watching me for the past two days?"
Marth's smile dropped as he let out an "huh?", not understanding why Link was asking something like that. Luckily for the Hero, Snake, Falco, Ike and Zelda were in front of him in the line. They heard the talk and decided it was better to step in before Link spoke something that could earn him a Falchion embedded on his side.
"Link..." Snake called the Hylian warrior, who turned and looked to him. "how about you look past Marth?"
The green clad swordsman had a confused expression on his face, but did it nevertheless. He looked and tried to see if there was someone behind Samus, but they were at the end of the line and everybody else had already served themselves.
"I don't see anyone besides Samus." Link bluntly said, turning to Snake. Good thing he was careful enough to lower his voice tone.
Snake simply couldn't hold the urge and facepalmed. Falco rolled his eyes and decided to give the hint to Link, since it seemed the dirty-blond swordsman was just too oblivious to notice the looks Samus was giving to him:
"It's because it's her, you dupe." the anthropomorphic bird said. "In case you haven't noticed, she's got 'the expression'."
"'The expression'?" Link repeated, confused.
"Yeah. 'The expression'." Ike confirmed.
"Oh, right." Link said. Three seconds passed until he realized something very important. "Hum… what's this expression you're talking about?"
Ike fell anime-style, before getting up immediately after, grumbling and with his hand on his face, wondering how someone could be so dumb. Deciding that would take a long time to explain, the mercenary said for Link to come to their table for them to talk.
Link watched the four Smashers serve themselves and go for their table, wondering if he really should go after them. The Hero then looked to Samus again, who quickly looked to the side. He could now tell she had been staring at him. Sighing, Link decided to end with that charade and after serving himself he said to Samus he would go and talk a little with Snake, Ike and the others. The bounty huntress shrugged and let him be.
The dirty blond swordsman approached his other friends' table and sat. He then asked what they had been talking about Samus having an "expression". Snake was the one to explain that, since Link was sitting besides him:
"It's an expression women give to certain men when they want to…" Snake then leaned and whispered in Link's ear. The Hylian warrior almost jumped out of his chair, his face beet red.
"A-are you sure?" Link asked.
"Believe in me, I know about these things."
"Yeah, it's the same thing with all females, no matter what galaxy or system they come from." Falco said. "I got tired of seeing Crystal giving that look to Fox and… heh, let's say I also got it quite sometimes when I went out to get some girls." the pilot of Star Fox's team said, closing his eyes and putting his wing under his beak, in a pose of self-admiration.
"That was before they ditched you, wasn't it?" Ike asked with a smirk on his face.
"Yeah, it… Hey!" Falco said.
"And what should I do?" Link asked his other, non-arguing friends.
"How did you deal with situations like this when you were with Midna?" Zelda inquired her friend.
"Well… I kinda… didn't really do anything about it…I more like let it happen." the Hylian swordsman said, scratching behind his head in embarrassment.
"In another words, you were her dog-boy." Snake said, while eating a waffle. Link shot a glare to him. "Hey, I'm not saying it's bad. I mean, if I was in your place, I would enjoy it too, but I also would take the initiative sometimes."
Ike and Falco stopped quarrelling and looked to Snake once the spy said that. The blue, anthropomorphic bird smirked and taunted:
"Oh. So the badass spy Snake wouldn't mind if someone put a leash on him? Better I go and check if Fox and Wolf didn't turn best buddies."
"If you saw her, I'm sure you would get my point. Right Link?" Snake asked to the Hylian, who just avoided his gaze, not very willingly to go into details about his relationship with the other Princess. In that case, very intimate details.
"Wait a minute. You saw Midna?" Zelda asked, arching her eyebrow.
"Well, not personally. But I've seen some photos of her true form."
"How come you know about stuff like this?" Ike asked the older man.
"I have my means."
"Someday, I'll discover what these 'means' of yours are." Ike swore. Needless to say, the Crimean Hero never found out about Snake's vast collection of game magazines.
Deciding to leave the others to speak between themselves, Link moved to his table, on the way passing by Mario and Luigi who were arguing with Kirby, who "accidentally" ate their breakfast. The Hylian warrior sat on his table, thinking about everything that was said to him and what it implied.
Someone then tapped Link on his shoulder and the Hero looked to the side immediately, startled. Samus had a worried look on her face at seeing the scared expression on her boyfriend's face. The galactic warrior asked:
"Are you alright? You look like someone said something to you that got you worried." man, she's sharp.
"Uhhh… it's nothing. Nothing really. Hehe…" Link said, giving a nervous laugh at that. "I wasn't thinking about you and me in some kind of kinky situation. Not, really."
"Ok…" Samus said, looking to the side at seeing Link's nervous smile. He was starting to worry her.
- / - / - / -
Samus and Link were back to their joint's office. The weird behavior of the Hero continued. Samus knew something was up with Link, because… well, he got paranoid sometimes, but it generally was when Ganondorf was involved. This was just plain weird.
When the two sat down, Link was looking everywhere less Samus, his eyes darting like he was the suspect of a grave crime caught red handed. The bounty huntress decided to discover what was wrong with him and called his name. This time, Link jumped from his chair, mumbling a "w-what?".
"Hey, relax. I was just going to ask what was wrong. You've been weird ever since you went to talk with Snake, Ike, Falco and Zelda. What did they say to you?" Samus asked.
"Nothing! Nothing." Link said, his tone wavering.
"Really?" Samus asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Yeah." Link said.
The futuristic woman then shrugged and started to organize some papers she had caught from the mail. Link inwardly sighed. It was then he started to notice how he had been acting and scolded himself mentally:
Oh, c'mon! Calm yourself down Link. You're behaving like a five years old with a guilt complex. Now that would be interesting to see. And it's not like it will be your first time. Midna said I wasn't so bad. Ok… I don't think we needed to know that.
Anyway, as Link was calming himself down the phone rang, startling the Hylian warrior again. It will probably take some time for him to get used to the idea Samus wants him… in bed! … sorry, couldn't resist. Samus looked up from the papers and bills she was organizing while Link calmed down again and picked up the phone.
"Hello?" a voice called from the other side of the line, a voice Link knew very well.
"H-hello?" Link called back, hoping his suspects were ungrounded.
"Link, is that you?" the person on the line spoke, confirming Link's fears and reminding him luck had never been one of his main attributes.
"Y-yeah, i-it is." Link said, gulping. He could feel Samus looking to him with a curious expression on her face.
"Well, as much as I would love to know how you've been… including about a certain person Zelda told me you've got, I know this is your joint's line, so I'll cut to the chase." the person said. "I'm calling you for a job."
"And w-what it would be?" Link asked, tugging at the collar of his shirt. Samus' look turned devious as she saw that.
"I'm coming to the city and I need an escort. You know about the guys that call themselves the Canon Brigade, right?"
"Yeah. We had to deal with them not too long ago."
"Well, it seems I'm on the top of their list, for motives you and me know very well. So, I need some protection."
"Wait a minute. Can't you protect yourself? After all, you're…" Link inquired.
That definitely made Samus shot a devious look to Link. The Hero had stopped with that habit of questioning why their clients hired them for jobs that they could do themselves, but now he was apparently doing it again and, together with the tone he was using while talking on the phone, was certainly suspicious enough for her to guess the Hylian warrior was trying to hide something.
"What, and lose the chance to see you again and get to know your new girlfriend? No way. You two are coming to pick me up… or would you rather I tell her some embarrassing stories about you?" by the tone, Link could guess his client was smirking at the other end of the line. An evil smirk at that.
"You wouldn't dare to…" Link tried to protest, but he knew that person would.
"Oh, you know that I would." told you.
"Ok, ok. We're going…" the Hero sighed.
"See you then, wolf-boy."
Link hung the phone and turned to Samus. The intensity of her look seemed enough to burn a hole in his face. The Hero gulped and looked to the side, like he was trying to find an excuse or an exit.
"Who was it?" Samus asked with her eyebrow rose.
"Uh… a client." Link said, however, the pause on his line was enough to make the galactic warrior's suspicions rise.
"Oh really? And what was the job?"
"We have to escort him."
"Him, or her?" Samus asked.
Link swallowed at that, his throat drier than the Gerudo Desert. If there was a word to describe this moment, it would be: busted. The Hero mumbled some incoherent phrases, until Samus held her hand high and he stopped talking. She stood and activated her Varia Suit for them to go to the city.
"Let's go and see this 'friend' of yours." she said in a sharp tone as she walked to the door.
Link got up and followed Samus, praying for the Goddesses that, should he pass on due to some 'work accident', he would have a nice, safe place in heaven…
- / - / - / -
Like always, the train station was the place where Link and Samus should wait for their client. As the two were looking around the crowd that exited from the latest train, they saw Toon Link there, with his machinist uniform on. Link tried to act like he wasn't there for his cartoon self don't notice his presence.
Toon had the habit of narrating his achievements of the day to his realistic self in details. Lots of details. Link frequently had to remind himself that Toon Link was still a child and children use to chatter. A lot. Plus, should he do something to upset him, not only Master Hand would scold him for incapacitating a Smasher (because when Toon got yelled by his realistic self, he generally burst into tears and went to his room, locking himself there for an entire day, crying that Link hated him because he wasn't as popular as him), but he also would have to hear a "pleasant" lecture from Zelda and Peach saying he should be more comprehensive with children.
When Toon passed by them, Link sighed in relief and looked around, searching for their client. It was then Samus decided to ask:
"So, can you tell me who our client is, so I can see if she has arrived?"
"What makes you so sure it's a she?" Link asked, still trying to disguise that fact that Samus was absolutely right.
"One: you're sweating." Samus pointed, passing her armored finger on Link's forehead and showing the sweatdrops on it. If the situation was other, the green clad swordsman would have relaxed and enjoyed her touch, even if she was using that armor. "Two: you were stuttering like crazy in the phone. Three: you looked ready to jump out of the window when I asked you about her. Is that enough, or should I go on and write a list?"
"No… you got me there." Link said, hanging his head down.
"So, are you going to tell me if she's here or not?" Samus inquired again.
"No need to yell. I'm already here." a voice answered from seemingly nowhere. Link and Samus looked around, searching for its source. "Over here." the voice called again.
Samus then located its source and looked to her shadow. To her surprise, it seemed to twist and something started to come out of it. The bounty huntress acted on reflex and pointed her arm cannon to the being that was materializing. It was then she noticed the feminine curves and the robe, not to mention the golden jewelry.
The figure then finished materializing itself, standing as tall as Samus and almost towering over Link. She looked to Samus with her yellow and red eyes and flashed a smirk at her, noticing the arm cannon.
"So, is that how you planned on greeting me? Man, and here I thought we could begin with the right feet."
Samus didn't answer, instead she took off her helmet, revealing her face. She looked at the figure in front of her square in the eyes, like she was trying to read her. Link looked from one to the other in a frantic way. The bounty huntress then spoke in an emotionless tone:
"Midna, I assume."
The Twilight Princess smiled at Samus, a rather malicious smile at that.
"And you're Samus, right? I've been dyeing to meet you." oh-ho. Those who played Twilight Princess (I guess that's the case of everybody reading this) know what comes next when Midna says that.
Midna flashed an evil/psycho smile at Samus, showing slightly pointed canines, her beautiful face getting a little twisted.
"Same here." Samus said, her look turning colder.
A crowd already started to gather around the two, like how happens in school when you have a fight. Some seemed eager, others were even making bets on who would win. There were even two guys selling hotdogs and refrigerant. Link was still on his position, sweating like crazy, thinking how he could prevent a massacre at the exit of the train station.
Samus and Midna approached each other. The crowd held their breath, some inclined near, with excited looks on their faces, others holding their money. Link was ready to eat his hat with all that suspense. Then, without any warning, Midna and Samus smiled to each other and held their hands.
"It's good to finally get to meet you." Samus said, her tone sounding friendly.
"Same here." Midna said.
… that's it? No hair pulling? No clawing in the face? No catfight? Man, I just lost twenty bucks betting on Midna!
…
Uh, I mean… once the crowd sighed and "oohhhh"ed in disappointment, everybody dispersed, leaving Samus and Midna alone with a mouth agape Link, who seemed to be in shock. The two beautiful females then noticed the Hylian warrior's face.
"What's with the surprised face, wolf-boy?" Midna asked.
"I… but you… and her…" Link mumbled, pointing from Midna to Samus.
Samus and Midna looked one to the other and laughed at Link's confused expression. The Hylian warrior seemed to recover as he realized an important fact:
"You two already know each other?"
"Not exactly." Samus answered. "Sometime after I've found out who your previous girlfriend was, I asked Zelda if she was still keeping contact with Midna. It seemed she was also curious to get to know me."
"I've asked Zelda to tell me everything she knew about Samus." Midna completed. "We never talked directly, but Zelda acted as a mediator between us. I must say, me and blondie here have somethings in common."
"Like what?" Link asked.
"Hey there beauty." a nearby voice called. The three turned to see a random man. "How about you ditch shorty there and go for a real man?"
"Shorty…? " Link said, raising his eyebrow, a sharp look on his face.
"Yeah. I doubt a guy like you could satisfy a sexy lady like this one." the guy said, meaning Midna, since Samus put her helmet back.
"Excuse me for a moment." Midna said, going to the man, who obviously thought he had won with his bravado e macho manners.
"So, how about you and…" the man never achieved to end his phrase for Midna grabbed his collar and dragged him closer.
What followed was a show of magically enchanted punches, kicks and many painful shouts, including one (in which Link shuddered) of a man being hit in a place where he shouldn't be hit. Midna then dusted her hands, leaving the man in a bloody mess as she approached Link and Samus again, the former seeming mild impressed by the display, thinking she could have done better.
"Ok, I got what you meant." Link said. He had forgotten about Midna's temper.
"To be honest, I considered doing the same thing to you." the Twilight Princess said to Link. "That is, should you have replaced me by some ditzy, blue-eyed, blond chick, or a frilly Princess, who doesn't lift a finger with fear she might broke a nail."
Link backed away one step. Samus smiled at Midna's commentary. The female Twili then looked around and saw there were people looking at them, probably because of the beating she inflicted on the guy that tried to hit on her, or because of her exotic looks. Anyway, she shrugged and said:
"So, how about you two get me a tour around the town? I'm famished."
"Then I'll show you a place where they sell some delicious pretzels." Samus said.
The two women started to walk, chattering like old friends. Link could just look at them, with his mouth agape. Well, I guess many people would get shocked if they saw the ex and actual girlfriend of a guy that never met each other before talk like they were childhood friends.
"Hey, are you coming or not, Linky?" Samus asked, smirking at Link.
"Oh, I liked that one. Can I use it?" Midna asked.
"Of course… if you're willingly to pay for the copyright." the two women laughed again and kept walking. Link sighed and followed them, wondering if the fact that Samus and Midna were getting along was really a good thing.
Meanwhile, in the tables of the ice cream shop near the train station, a group of people was plotting. A familiar group. That is, if you read chapter 6. A dark haired teenager with a notebook sitting in front of him stood up and talked to a brunette young man, who was with a binocular, spying on Link, Samus and Midna:
"So, are they on the move?"
"If by that you mean they're going to the city, then yes, ArwingMaster." SonicRinger said, sighing.
"Excellent!" ArwingMaster said, posing like a calculative villain. Seems like somebody's been playing too much RPG. "Now people, here's the plan."
"Oh, god…" the blond Silla7 spoke, rolling her eyes.
"Not another one of your plans…" the red head IceTriforce said.
"Oh, c'mon. When did my plans ever fail?" ArwingMaster asked, making another pose, putting his closed fist on his chest, closing his eyes and hanging his head up, like a very successful mastermind. Indeed, playing too much RPGs.
"Counting with the whole Peach-Bowser fiasco, or the one in which you tried to force Link and Zelda to come together again?" SonicRinger asked, looking to the self-proclaimed leader of their unit.
And then there was silence. A tumbleweed passed near their table as the other four members of that unit looked to ArwingMaster, who was frozen on his pose. The member of the Canon Brigade then grumbled to SonicRinger:
"Go back spying on them, will ya?"
"Aye, aye, boss…" SonicRinger replied in a bothered tone.
"I like ArwingMaster's plans!" MetroMarine said. Like you can guess he had a cup on his hands.
"Thanks MetroMarine." the "leader" of that unit of the Canon Brigade said.
"Mainly if it gets us some peanut butter jelly time. Oh yeah!"
"Uhhh… thanks, I think." ArwingMaster said, looking to the side while speaking that.
IceTriforce took the cup from MetroMarine's hands and looked at its bottom, seeing it was empty.
"You're on caffeine again, aren't you?" IceTriforce asked.
"What makes you say that?" Metro Marine asked.
"For one; you're jumping on your seat like a five years old, two; you have this idiotic grin in your face, and three; you just randomly brought up peanut butter."
"How about we take some ice cream together, honey?" MetroMarine asked the girl, raising his eyebrows several times in a suggestive manner and inclining near her.
"Get away from me, you caffeinated creep!"
"Shouldn't you be watching over your partner, SonicRinger?" Silla7 asked the brunette member of their unit.
"And do you think he would listen to me?" SonicRinger talked back. He looked to his (weird) partner and saw him now mumbling the first verses of "Skatman". The brunette boy then whispered to himself. "Don't worry, just hang on a little bit longer, SonicRinger. Just two days to go and I can deliver my resign letter to the heads of the Brigade."
SonicRinger risked taking another look and saw MetroMarine was gone from his place. Looking where IceTriforce and Silla7 were looking, he saw his partner had gone inside the store and was shouting to the counter:
"Where's the coffee flavor? I have to GET TO THE CHOOPAAA soon!"
Just one thought was crossing SonicRinger's mind as at that moment:
Will to live… dangerously decreasing…
You might be wondering how someone can act like this under the effect of some cups of coffee, right? Well, let me answer this with another question: have you ever seen Crazy Hand under the effect of caffeine. Yeah, I know, it's not a pretty thought.
Speaking of which, we hadn't seen the guy for sometime. Let's see how he and his brother are doing.
- - - - - Commercial pause! Enter the short: Master and Crazy Hand's Family Time! - - - - -
Master Hand was on his office, humming to himself:
"Mone, mone… Money! I love this music." Master Hand said, while he flipped through some notes on his table. He and Iwata would probably be good buddies, in a financial way I mean.
"Hey brother!" Crazy Hand enters. The sound of the audience clapping is heard. "I got a duck!" sound of the audience laughing.
"A what?" Master Hand asks, taking his attention off his daily money counting and looking to his brother. Pardon the logical fail in this sentence.
"A duck!" Crazy then lifted the "duck", but what he was holding was actually an arm-crossed Dedede with a grumpy look on his face. More laughter from the audience.
"Uhm... it's a penguin, brother."
"But aren't they related?" Crazy asked. More laughter.
"Not exactly."
"Can you put me down now, pal? I have more important things to do." Dedede said, looking to Crazy Hand.
"Ok then." Crazy Hand spoke, throwing Dedede… out by the window.
"NOT LIKE THIIIiiss…." Dedede screamed. The camera kept focused on the window and the sound of a female scream and something falling echoed. "Uh… h-hi Zelda. How are you… ?"
"YOU DISPICABLE… !" came Zelda's furious answer, the rest of her line being censored.
"Wait! I swear it wasn't my intention to land on your…" what he would said next was muffled by the sound of Zelda's magically charged attacks hitting a… chubby, target. "OW! OUCH! NO PLEASE, NOT IN THE…. ARRRGGGHH! OH GOD, OH GOD! AAAHHHH!"
The camera took its focus out of the window and turned back to Master and Crazy Hand. It was then the twitching, left hand spoke:
"Hey, brother! I got an idea!" more laughter from the audience. What's with them laughing at everything Crazy say? He's not that funny.
"You? Got an idea? … better I go and check if Link and Ganondorf didn't turn best pals while I wasn't looking."
"But that's an idea that will give us money because it uses Link and Samus."
"Ah. My favorite phrase. Okay, I'm listening." more laughter. What kind of audience is this?
… wait a minute.
…
Ha, I knew it! A sound machine. Oh well, not like it's my problem.
"I thought of selling Link and Samus' posters with the two appearing at each other's side." Crazy Hand said.
"But we already sell those."
"Not of this kind! Booyah!" Crazy Hand then snapped his fingers and curtain of smoke rose besides him. After it dispersed a sheet appeared, showing a poster of…
"Link and Samus in swimsuits?" Master Hand mused.
"Yep, for boys and girls, males and females, wolves and vixens, dogs and cats, and even your parrot!"
"Thinking about it, it does sound like a good idea. Of course, Samus would slaughter us the moment she discovers, but we'll be stinkin' rich by the time she finds out!" Master Hand said in an excited tone at the perspective of monetary profit. Laughter from the "audience" again. "Good work brother! You know, sometimes I could kiss you."
"Oh, brother..." Crazy said, floating closer to his brother, but stopped when Master Hand made a sign for him to stop.
"I said I could. But since I have no mouth…"
"Oh, yeah… damn those designers. I shall have my revenge. Do you hear me? I will get my revenge!"
A jingle starts to play as a picture showing Master and Crazy Hand fills the screen:
Master and Crazy Hand
Master and Crazy Hand
Master and Cra-azy Hand
Fa-amily Time!
Master Hand then rips through the picture and points to the camera, saying:
Your money is worth this rhyme!
…
…
Wait a minute! They have their own jingle now. WHAT THE… ?
- - - - - Going back to the actual story - - - - -
SonicRinger turned to IceTriforce and asked:
"Please, kill me right now and I'll give you anything you want."
"Yeah, right… and how exactly will I gain something from you when you're dead?" IceTriforce inquired, looking at her nails. Wow, this girl is good.
He looked again to MetroMarine and saw him assaulting a cone of ice cream he had in his hand, getting it all over his face and making half of the costumers in the store look at him. SonicRinger turned to IceTriforce again.
"Just get me out of here and I'll do anything you want!" the desperate member of the Brigade spoke.
"Anything you say…" IceTriforce spoke, with her hand under her chin and eying him from top to bottom, noticing the brunette teenager had brushed his hair in a spiked style. She got "the expression" on her face as she eyed him.
"Okay you all, time for babbling is over, we have work to do." ArwingMaster said. "SonicRinger, go fetch your partner." mumbling something about how he hated his life, SonicRinger did so, dragging MetroMarine back by the collar of his shirt. And that is what happens when you do something just because all of your friends are doing: you end up stuck with a hyper weirdo. "Alright. Now this is what we're gonna do…" ArwingMaster then opened his new notebook…
Meanwhile, Samus, Midna and Link were in other shop, talking. Well, actually, Midna was telling some stories about Link and Samus was laughing her head off.
"… and can you believe he wigged his tail after I gave him the cookie? Honestly, he was such a big puppy." Midna told the futuristic woman, who was with her helmet back, though you could hear she laughing.
Link was grumbling on his seat, deciding he would rather to see Samus and Midna trying to rip each other's head off than the Twilight Princess talking about his "puppy tendencies" when he was in wolf form. It was already bad enough when she told that to Zelda. At least the Hylian Princess had the décor to keep her face serious and hold back the laugh.
Samus looked to Link after stop laughing and said to her boyfriend:
"I would love to see how you were like a wolf."
"Actually, I've still got the spell." Midna spoke, making the two blondes turn to her. "So, what do you think about we…"
"Oh no, no way! That's enough for me!" Link said, jumping from his seat. "Can't you two act like normal ex and actual and try to murder each other or something?"
Midna and Samus looked to each other, their eyebrows raised in confusion. They then looked back to Link, letting out an "oh" of comprehension. The bounty huntress spoke first:
"Sorry Link. I think we got carried away with this thing of trying to get along and everything." Samus… apologized? I better sit, because I feel like the room is spinning.
"I'm sorry too. I guess I was just so anxious to get to know who was making you happy now that I didn't notice I was being a real pest to you." Midna too! Can someone get me an ice pack? Please.
Link started to feel guilty by the apologetic tone and Samus and Midna's sad expression. The green clad swordsman then spoke on his own apologetic tone:
"No, I'm sorry. I got so surprised to see you two were getting along, when I expected the exact opposite. I guess I was just nervous about you meeting each other." Link said, sitting down again.
"Hey, it's alright." Midna spoke.
"Yeah. No need to blame yourself for that." Samus completed.
The two tall women then said they needed to go to the bathroom and left the table. Link nodded to them and said he would make their order and would not mind what they were talking about as long as they were getting along. On the way, Midna and Samus quickly looked back and, seeing Link wasn't looking, giggled while making their way to bathroom.
"Girl, you pulled out the 'guilty look' very well." Midna said to Samus. "Where did you learn it?"
"Watching the female recruits in my unit. And you?" the galactic warrior answered.
"My servants in the palace. And can you believe he actually thought we would fight each other?"
"Ah, he tends to believe that our lives are as normal as other people's. It seems he still doesn't get that logic is a concept that doesn't apply to us."
"Poor, naïve Link." Midna said, feigning pity and putting her right hand over her chest in a mild-dramatic pose.
The two then went to bathroom to… do whatever women do when they're there, while Link was eating his food, blissfully unaware that he was being spoken behind his back.
After the threesome ended their meal and left the shop, they took the main street of the town, however, someone lifted a "STOP" sign before them. The three looked to a suspiciously short guard, who spoke:
"Halt! There's a reform on the streets up ahead. You will have to take a detour." the guard said, pointing to a street that led to a shady, not-very-welcoming part of the city. You know, like those quarters near your house that screams "you're going to be robbed three times before you can get out of here".
Link, Samus and Midna looked to the place and back to the guard. They then looked forward and saw there were indeed people working up ahead. Looking more attentively to the guard for a moment (who lowered his head, in a way his cap would cover his eyes), the three shrugged and took the direction of the hostile neighborhood.
The "guard" sighed in relief, taking off his cap and revealing himself as SonicRinger. IceTriforce approached him and spoke to her companion:
"Good work."
"Yeah. For one moment, I thought they would find out." he answered. The brunette then looked behind, to the workers on the street, before looking back to the red head. "Don't you find it incredibly convenient that there was really a work going on?"
"I know, but who's complaining?" IceTriforce shrugged, dismissing the matter.
Back to Link, Samus and Midna, the three were walking through the street, passing by ruined constructions, drunken walking in the streets with bottles of beer hanging in their hands and a guy running with a suitcase on his arms, being persecuted by men in black tuxedos.
"You know, I've never been to this part of the city before." Samus commented.
"Me neither. We should watch out." Link said.
"Oh, c'mon Link. Look at us." Midna said. "We must be the tougher guys around here. Nobody in their mind would mess with us."
"What about the Canon Brigade?"
"I said: nobody in their right mind. Those guys aren't exactly people you can be reasonable with."
The three continued walking. Passed some time, they noticed people were eying them; some with creepy looks, others in a vile way and there was even a guy sharpening a kitchen knife in the steps of a building's entrance while looking to them. Samus whispered to Midna:
"This place sure seems hostile. Do you have any weapons with you?"
"Huh. My weapons are right here." the Twilight Princess lifted her hand, closing her knuckle and making a black and red aura glow around it. "Link can tell you about… Link?" Midna was about to ask the swordsman, but when she looked to her side, he was gone.
"Strange. Where is he?" Samus questioned.
Actually, Link was currently pursuing IceTriforce and Silla7, who had stolen his cap using a fishing rod. The dirty-blond Hylian was shouting for them to give his hat back, but the two were too busy running and laughing.
"This is so going to E-bay for a high price." Silla7 spoke.
"Can't we keep it?" IceTriforce asked with an edge of hope in her voice.
"Yeah, that would do too."
"Give me my hat back here!" Link shouted to the duo.
Midna and Samus gave up looking for him. He could take care of himself, so there was no need to worry. As the two continued walking, Midna decided to take that chance and ask Samus how her relationship with Link was:
"So, say Samus, have you already had a night of fun with Link?"…well, now we know what Zelda was talking about. "I know he's pretty oblivious to these things, so you might need to give him a little push in case you want… Samus?" the Twili looked to the side, just to see the bounty huntress was also gone. "Oh great. She too. What's going on here?"
Well, if you consider the fact that Samus, like Link, had left for an adjacent street in pursue of MetroMarine, who was holding a very revealing photo of her in a bikini and saying he would share it with all of his friends on Facebook, I would say something very fishy is going on
"GIVE ME THAT, YOU-" Samus yelled, having the rest of her line censured by the fic's rating.
"Now what do I do?" Midna wondered aloud.
A guy wearing a long coat, with his hands hidden in its pockets, approached Midna. He suddenly turned to the Twilight Princess and pulled out a gun, yelling:
"This is a theft! Pass everything you have!" the guy said.
Midna looked to him and then to herself. For those that didn't remember Midna's real appearance, here comes a reminder, for the others, you may call this a spoiler: Midna was, like always, wearing her long, black cloak that covered part of her head and fell along her shoulders and back. Her front was, completely open and the only piece of clothing she was using was a black thong with white details on it, though the black stains on her skin made it seems like she was using something more.
The Twilight Princess looked to the thief again, like asking if he could be more specific, since she didn't really have any place to hide any belongings (not counting her carrier magic, but the guy didn't need to know that now, did he?).
"I'm talking about the crown." the thief said, pointing to her golden, head ornament.
"Oh. This?" she asked, pointing to the item.
"Yeah, that. Are you going to pass it already?" the man said in a rather rude tone.
Normally, Midna would have blasted anyone who used that tone with her (not counting her friends, of course. They she would only torture), but she decided the situation was, at the minimum, amusing. I mean, she obviously could beat the guy without any problem. However, the female Twili decided to play along. After all, she wasn't there to cause havoc in the natural laws of that world.
"Alright, alright. Sheesh, here's the damn thing." Midna said, taking out her golden, head ornament.
"Ok, now get out of my city." the guy said.
"I'm sorry, but I thought urban space was public." the sarcastic princess replied.
"Oh, shut up, wench."
… !
He didn't just call Midna what I think he called, did he?
"What did you call me?" if this guy values his life, he won't…
"What? Are you deaf woman? Get out of my neck of woods, you b*censored*." ok, forget what I said. He's dead.
"Can you repeat that last part?" Midna asked, her robe starting to flap and her hands glowing with a dark and red aura.
Before the guy could repeat, shadows came out of the ground and grabbed the weapon on his hand, snatching it from his grip and smashing it to bits. More shadows then involved him and pulled him to Midna, who had an angry expression on her face, her hand crackling with magic.
"Say it again to my face, smart guy!" the Twilight Princess spoke, her teeth gritted and deciding to just screw the natural laws of that world.
"… sorry… ?" the guy suggested, cowering and desiring nothing more than to shrunk until he disappeared.
"Too late!"
Sounds of someone being electrocuted, magic spells hitting their target and screams of "MY RIBS!" echoed in the quarter. Link and Samus, after recovering/destroying the items they were after, looked up and decided to follow the source of the sound.
The couple then found Midna dusting her hands, but there was nobody around. They asked her if there was someone around screaming, but the Twilight Princess just answered:
"Screaming? Really? I didn't see anything like that."
Link and Samus had the slight suspicion she did know something, but decided to drop it. After all, what could she have done?
Meanwhile, in a nearby alley, IceTriforce and Silla7 had reunited with SonicRinger and ArwingMaster. The head of their little unit said:
"Good work people. Now, the guy I hired to scare Midna away should be done by now."
"But what if she kicks his ass?" Silla7 asked.
"Ha, hahahahaha! That was a good one Silla!"
The blond girl could just eye the dark haired member of the Brigade. It was then someone punched ArwingMaster at the back of his head, making he kiss the floor. The group saw it was the thief they had hired, with several injuries, rips on his coat and a black eye. He then threw the money which ArwingMaster had paid to him on said teenager, yelling:
"Here's your damn money! No amount is worth the beating she gave to me! … ouch, my head." the guy then walked away, leaving ArwingMaster in the floor.
The rest of the group watched the guy go, before turning to their companion, who slowly looked up, his face covered in the mud of the alley.
"Ok… plan B, then." ArwingMaster said, getting up. The others sighed, knowing that wouldn't end well.
Link, Samus and Midna continued to walk, trying to find their way through that part of the town. Eventually, Midna grew tired of that and said she would teleport to the top of the buildings to see where the mansion of the Super Smash Brothers was. Link and Samus nodded to her and the Twilight Princess quickly transformed into several, sand-like particles, which flew to the roof of one of the ruined buildings.
The female Twili materialized there and looked around. She located the terrains of the mansion soon enough and teleported down again. Link and Samus waited for their friend and asked her where the mansion was.
"It's up ahead that street." Midna said, pointing to a street to her right.
"Alright, then let's go. This place certainly isn't a good spot to hang around." Samus said, eying the people that were still with their tabs on them. Some backed away slightly at seeing they had been spotted and went to hide.
The group continued to walk and were about to pass near a building where, up on its rooftop, was the Canon Brigade. SonicRinger, MetroMarine and IceTriforce were holding a rope which in its turn was holding a big piano, which, should it fall, would hit someone in the street down below.
"Ok people. They're almost here." ArwingMaster said, eying the street below and locating Midna.
"Can someone tell me… why a girl like me… has to do this kind of work…" IceTriforce asked, huffing and puffing while trying to hold the great piano with her partners.
"Because I have the duty of supervise your work and this duty is as tiring as any arm work." ArwingMaster explained, posing like a genuine strategist; holding his notebook under his arm and pacing around with his eyes closed. "So stop complaining and do as I command you."
"Seems like someone has gone on a power trip." Silla7 whispered to her companions, who nodded to her.
"Ha! There she is! Let it fall!"
The three gladly did it and watched as the big piano fell to the street bellow. Man, these guys are kind of hardcore, aren't they?
Anyway, Midna noticed a shadow looming over her and looked up. She just had time to let her mouth open slightly before the piano crashed where she was. Link and Samus, who were a little behind her, letting the Twilight Princess lead the way, had their eyes wide at seeing the female Twili being smashed by the musical instrument.
"MIDNA!" Link called, going to the rubble and starting to take the pieces of the piano out of the way.
Samus approached the green clad swordsman and held his shoulder, making him look to her. She shook her helmet and Link hung his head down. As this scene was going on, thousands of Zelda fans all around the world were screaming:
"OMG! They killed Midna! YOU BASTARDS!"
It was then something started to come out of the remnants of the piano. Link looked up as he saw golden dots coming from under the wreckage of the piano and merge together. Samus also looked up and the two saw Midna reappearing.
"Phew. That was a close one." she said. The female Twili looked to her friends and asked, with a playful smirk upon seeing their expression. "What's with the long faces? You didn't actually think I would be killed by something like a falling piano, did you? Please. I'm not a cartoon character, you know."
Link and Samus smiled at her. Meanwhile, all over the country, the Midna Fan club members were taking pitchforks, shoves and riffles, like they were preparing to lynch someone. Speaking of which, the members of the Canon Brigade on the top of the building were looking at the scene below them. ArwingMaster had an incredulous expression on his face.
"I can't believe it! She survived!" the head of the group said.
"I wasn't going to ask, but circumstances presenting…" SonicRinger said, giving a slight pause. "what's with you? A piano? Please. No serious, videogame character would fall to something like that."
"Actually, I didn't count on her teleporting out of it…" ArwingMaster admitted.
"You didn't count?" IceTriforce asked in disbelief. "How come you don't know her powers? Didn't you play Twilight Princess?"
"Well… actually…"
The whole group went silent at that (less MetroMarine, who was talking with some birds about how he hated Britney Spears). They then threw ugly looks to ArwingMaster, who started to sweat. He mumbled something before speak, recovering his pose:
"Fear not, my friends. Because I have a Plan C!" he announced.
"Why do I have the impression it's going to blow up on our faces?" IceTriforce commented to the others.
- / - / - / -
The two heroes and the Princess finally arrived at the exit of the not-so-welcoming quarter. Link sighed at seeing they would finally go back to the mansion.
Go out of a dangerous zone into a war one, I don't see the difference between them.
"Where are you staying by the way, Midna?" Samus asked her newest friend.
"I've rented a room in a hotel nearby, but don't worry…" she said, casting a brief look to Link, smiling a suggestive smile. "I don't plan on appearing much often, since I'm sure you two have lots of private activities to do."
Link understood the tone which she used in "private" and looked away, blushing beet red. Samus, however, approached Midna and whispered to her:
"As if. It's really hard for me and Link to get some time alone in that mansion, not to talk about advancing our relationship with the way he is oblivious."
"Oh, don't worry. He might be really shy on that matter, but all you need to do is…"
What Samus needed to do, she never discovered because in that moment the sound of a siren echoed in the street, coming from above. The three looked up and their eyes widened in surprise as they saw something descending.
"What-" Link mumbled.
"The-" Midna said.
"Hell?" Samus completed.
An airship was descending in front of them, blocking the way to the mansion. It resembled a normal, pirate ship, with cannons on its side and everything. The only thing that made it look bizarre was the face of Bowser on its front and the propellers on its top.
In a wooden stand was ArwingMaster, laughing as the airship descended. He was even wearing a white cape to make himself look more imposing. It would have worked if it wasn't by the fact he was the member of a brigade full of weird and insane people. The siren then stopped as he pointed to Link and the girls, saying:
"So, how do you like my model of Bowser Junior's Airship from Super Mario Galaxy, huh?"
"Wait a minute. You guys built this?" Samus asked, pointing to the ship.
"More like they stole the idea." Link said. "I saw Mario's game and this ship is identical to the one Bowser's son used."
"Whatever." ArwingMaster said. "The point is you all are going down."
"Seems like someone is on a power trip." Midna spoke to her friends, who nodded. She turned to ArwingMaster. "Seriously, don't you have a life?"
"S-shut up! This is my master plan and it'll work, or I'm not called ArwingMaster!"
"And what's your new name then?"
ArwingMaster froze at that. From inside the airship, in the room that controlled the weapons and other devices in the ship, the other members of the Canon Brigade heard Midna's comeback and spoke between themselves, smirking:
"Owned."
"Shut up you all and go back to work!" ArwingMaster called from above.
"Aye, aye, great dictator."
"So, you think you're so smart, huh Miss Midna?"
"It's Princess Midna for you." Midna said, pointing to him and snapping her finger after that. IceTriforce and Silla7 giggled at that. Wow, Midna is really owning that guy. I almost feel pity for him. Almost.
"Whatever!" ArwingMaster yelled, already losing his temper. "When I get rid of you, those guys in the Brigade will finally pay me the respect I deserve and stop calling me a nerdy schemer."
Samus, Link and Midna looked between themselves, thinking that, for once, they had to agree with the Brigade. Samus pointed to him and spoke:
"You know, you seriously need to get laid."
"Ah. Guess not all guys can be like you, Link." Midna said, throwing her arms around Link's shoulders, lifting her leg a little and inclining her head closer to his. Though the Hero blushed, he managed to say.
"Well, I-I guess so… but that doesn't mean other guys can't get girls. I think it's a matter of not being creepy, or pose like someone you obviously could never be."
Though the Hero hadn't said that with the intent of dealing a blow on ArwingMaster's pride, it had that effect. Samus saw Midna holding Link and decided to do it too, passing her arm around her boyfriend's shoulders. She wasn't trying to fight Midna, but trying to say she could be as good as her.
Meanwhile, ArwingMaster was stuttering. SonicRinger put his head out in the deck and made a comment to the "strategist" of their team:
"You know, if I were you, I would stop speaking before they verbally whoop your ass even more."
"FINE!" ArwingMaster screamed, attracting everybody's attention again. "ENOUGH OF THIS! Now get a taste of the heat beam I installed on this beauty myself!"
The airship turned its head to the Link and two women clinging to him and the mouth on Bowser's head opened, a red shine coming from within it. Link knew what that meant and shouted for them to scatter.
Midna and Samus jumped to the right, hiding behind a conveniently placed, big trash container, while Link hid behind another convenient trash container on the left. The heat ray hit the spot the trio had been seconds ago and burned a hole in the concrete.
From their shielded point, Midna and Samus where recovering their breath. The Twilight Princess then stood, her hand glowing with magical power as she said:
"If it is war these guys want, then it's war they'll get."
She stepped out of her hiding spot and summoned the shadows around her. They gathered in front of the Twilight Princess and started to form a pool of swirling darkness in the ground. Midna then murmured an incantation in her people's language and a huge beam of darkness shot from the shadow pool at her feet. However, when it collided with the airship, it "slid" on its hull, leaving no trace of damage.
Midna let out a "what?" before deciding to try again. She used the same poll of shadows she had summoned and made it float out of the ground and stay hovering in front of her in the form of a sphere. The Twilight Princess then chanted another incantation and pointed to the airship with two fingers. Several dark arrows, each one the size of a lance, shot from the sphere. However, they all bounced harmlessly on the hull.
"Hahaha! Nice try, Twilight Princess. But I've polished the hull with a special wax that renders it imperviousness against spells." ArwingMaster said.
"He? Please…" Silla7 said from the control room. "We're the ones who had to endure pain on our backs for a week after polishing this thing."
"Details, details." ArwingMaster said, shrugging. "Anyway..." the ship then turned its cannons to Midna. "FIRE!"
Cannon balls flew to Midna, who enchanted her reflexes and jumped to the side, going to Link's hiding point. She covered herself after the cannon balls hit the concrete and chunks of it flew hitting her cloak. Link's ex-girlfriend then spoke, looking to the street:
"I guess this means me attacking that thing is out of question."
"In that case, let my try this." Link said, after reading some bomb arrows.
The Hero stepped out from behind the trash container and fired the bomb arrows. ArwingMaster just laughed as the airship did some evasive maneuvers. Link tried to shot it again, but to no avail.
"Well, well. How about this, Mister Hero?" ArwingMaster bloated as a huge cannon appeared from behind the airship and started to fire consecutive shots.
Link gasped as he ran and hid behind the trash container were Samus was. They heard the sound of explosions as more concrete flew in the air. Link turned to his actual girlfriend and spoke:
"Ok, my arrows are out of question."
"Which means missiles too. But let's see what he thinks of this." Samus said, charging her arm cannon.
The bounty huntress jumped from behind the trash container, rolling on the ground and pointed to the airship, unleashing a charged shot of her arm cannon. However, when the shot hit the hull, the energy was dissipated. Samus seemed troubled by that, even though you couldn't see her face.
"Ha, nice one, but as you can see, this ship is mostly made of wood, which means electric attacks are useless." ArwingMaster said. "Now, I think it's time for me to get revenge on you, Samus Aran."
"What for?" Samus asked, though more out of impulse than anything. If she gained a coin each time someone tried to get revenge on her…
"You beat the snot out of me!"
Silence hung for a moment. Samus asked again:
"Can you be more specific? I've beaten so many of you that I can't remember the face of each one."
"You fooled my author powers." ArwingMaster said.
"What?" Midna exclaimed, appearing from her hiding spot and going to Samus' side. "Did you really believe in that ruse? Man, how old are you? Twelve?"
"S-shut up! Taste bullet bills!"
The cannons of the airship then fired a barrage of strange torpedoes with eyes and arms. Taking aside the… strange design of those projectiles, Samus and Link knew those things could hurt a lot. The Hylian swordsman grabbed Midna's hand and the three ran, with the bullet bills right on their back.
They jumped some trash cans, throwing them in the way of the bullet bills and making some explode, grabbed light posts and made close turns to throw the projectiles out of curse and hid in a narrow alley as more shoots came from the airship.
"Great, now what?" Midna asked. "We cannot get to the mansion with that thing blocking our way."
"If at least we knew how to destroy it…" Samus mumbled.
"Hey! I've got an idea." Link said suddenly. There was a moment of silence. Midna and Samus looked to each other.
"Now we're screwed." the Twilight Princess said to Samus.
"Haha, very funny Midna." Link said, using sarcasm against his ex-girlfriend. He turned to his actual one. "Samus, do you have a phone in your suit?"
"Yeah, I have a communication channel imbued on it, but why do… ?" she was interrupted by the green clad swordsman before complete her question.
"Then call the mansion's number and speak with Mario."
Samus got what was Link's idea and did so. She heard more explosions and ArwingMaster calling as he cackled like a maniac. The bounty huntress hoped she could get to talk with Mario before they were blasted by that guy.
- - - - - Meanwhile, in the mansion - - - - -
"Ha! How did you like that, huh?" Bowser said to Mario.
"Ahhh! You… you're gonna pay for that!" Mario answered.
"It's not my fault that you suck. So, stop crying already." the Koopa King said, laughing after he spoke that.
"Mario, Bowser, please, let's calm down." Peach said, trying to keep the two away of each other's throat.
"Yes. Honestly, can't you stop fighting even while playing Mario Party?" Luigi asked.
Indeed, the four residents of Mushroom Kingdom were in front of the TV, Wii Remotes in hand and playing some Mario Party (which number? Who knows. There are so many). The Princess spoke up again:
"Really, can't you two give it a break even when we're playing this? Mario Party is supposed to promote fun between friends, not fighting. Super Smash Bros. already exists for that purpose."
"It's not my fault Bowser can't play a game without cheating." Mario protested, crossing his arms and pouting, Wii Remote still hand.
"Oh, really? And how exactly can you cheat in Mario Party? Last I checked, the items are meant to be used." Bowser said with a feral grin on his features at seeing his rival so frustrated at his poor luck.
"Guys, please…" Luigi said, getting tired of hearing his brother's squabbles with Bowser. They couldn't reunite to do anything together without Bowser and Mario picking up a fight with each other.
It was then the phone of the game room rang. The four looked to the table where the phone was. Mario, Bowser and Peach then looked to Luigi, who looked back to them. Catching the meaning behind their looks, the green clad plumber sighed and stood.
"Alright, alright… I'm going to answer." Luigi went to the phone, mumbling something about everybody treating him like their secretary or a butler. Mario's brother then picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Luigi, can you pass Mario?" a familiar, feminine voice replied on the other end of the line, followed by what sounded like an explosion.
"Samus? Wait. How did you guess it was me?" Luigi inquired.
"One: your accent, two: if Mario had answered, he would have said 'It's me, Mario', instead of 'hello?'."
One second of silence passed. Luigi then answered:
"Good point."
"Now, can you call him already?" Samus asked now in an impatient tone as another explosion sounded.
Luigi covered the bottom of the phone and looked to the couch where his brother and their friends were playing Mario Party. Unsurprisingly, Bowser and Mario were now fighting each other physically, involved in a cloud of dust as Peach tried to separate the two.
"He's… a little busy at the moment." Luigi said, choosing the words carefully.
"Can't you just go and fetch him? It's urgent!" Samus hurried the other plumber. More explosions sounded in the background.
Luigi heard the sound of a frying pan hitting something. Looking again, he saw Bowser and Mario in the floor, large lumps on their heads and Peach breathing deeply, an angry expression on her face, shoulders rising and falling and frying pan in hand. It seemed the Mushroom Princess finally had enough of watching the Koopa King and the red plumber fighting over everything.
Looking more attentively, Luigi saw the two were Ko'ed by the wrath of the Princess. He would have found the situation a little comical and take some time to enjoy the tranquility and silence, but Samus yelled at the phone. Seems like his dream would have to wait a little longer.
"Nope." Luigi answered. "But what is it? Maybe I can help you."
"Just if you have played Super Mario Galaxy." Samus said.
"Hey, I was in it." Luigi said, sounding proud of himself.
"… were you?" Samus asked in a tone of confusion. She saw the first two, 3D adventures of Mario and never saw Luigi in any of them.
"Yes. Ever since I've got my own game, I've finally got some… uh, I mean, my number of fans increased. So Nintendo decided to make me appear in my brother's next game. They even gave to me an entire section of it where I was playable. I like to call it: Super Luigi Galaxy!" Luigi proclaimed proudly.
Silence again. This one lasted minutes. Samus was trying to process all that information (including the fact that Luigi actually has fans). The bounty huntress then spoke in a tone of mild sarcasm:
"Sometimes, Nintendo really achieves to amaze me with their creativity." she decided to drop the subject and go right to the point of her call. "Ok then, did you face Bowser Jr. in his airship?" she received an "of course" from Luigi, who was still sounding proud of himself. Apparently, the guy was so happy of tell about his achievements that he didn't catch the sarcasm in Samus' sentence. "How did you defeat it?"
"It's actually very easy. All you have to do is to throw a Koopa Shell on it." Luigi said.
"Ok then. Thanks."
"It was nothing." Luigi then hung the phone and looked back, Mario and Bowser were still unconscious and Peach decided to go get something to eat. "Ah, sweet, sweet silence."
- - - - - Back to the battle fi… I mean, city - - - - -
"He said we just have to throw a Koopa shell in it." Samus spoke to her friends, closing the communication with Luigi.
"A Koopa Shell?" Link repeated. "And how exactly are we going to find one here in the middle of the…"
The Hero stopped when he noticed Midna patting his shoulder and looked to her. She pointed to the other side of the alley, which gave view to another street. Walking there, to Link and Samus' surprise, was a red Koopa.
"No way…" the Hero said.
"Really, nothing more impresses me nowadays." Samus commented.
It was then the group heard an explosion behind them, which made they turn. They then saw the airship there, Bowser's face pointing to them and the heat beam inside it charging.
"Found you!" ArwingMaster proclaimed.
The heat beam was unleashed and Link and Samus could just look with their eyes wide while it came to them. In that moment, Midna stood in front of them and quickly conjured a magical barrier, blocking the attack. The Twilight Princess turned to Link and said:
"What are you waiting for? Go and get the shell from that turtle! Me and Samus are going to hold this thing back." Midna gritted her teeth as a barrage of cannon balls impacted with her barrier.
Nodding to the tall woman, Link turned and left Samus and her to distract the Canon Brigade. The bounty huntress climbed on a nearby fire exit stair and started to fire missiles on the airship to give Midna some time to recover.
While the two female warriors fought for their lives, Link approached the Koopa and called for it. The turtle turned to him and asked in a rather formal way:
"Yes, how may I be of service?"
"Could you please borrow me your shell for a minute or two?" Link asked, putting on his most friendly expression and tone as he asked.
"Certainly not! It's cold out here and without my shell I would be in my underwear." the Koopa answered.
"Look, pal. My friends are being attacked by an airship which we can only destroy with a Koopa Shell, so if you don't…" Link asked again, still trying to be nice, though his heart was beating faster as he thought on how Midna and Samus were there fending for themselves.
"An airship in the middle of the town? This is an absurd tale, fellow. You can't possibly expect me to believe it."
"Look…" Link said, his smile now turning forced as the corner of his mouth twitched at seeing that Koopa wasn't very willingly to cooperate with him. "I. need. your. shell. Got that?"
"How do you dare to talk to me like that? Do you know who I am?" the Koopa said in an indignant tone. "I am Clark T. Troopian the II, the most respected…" what else he was, we will never know for in that moment Link finally lost his patient and took out his Clawshot, grabbing the Koopa and proceeding to beat it out of its shell. "What the… ? He-hey! What do you think you are… ? Ow! OUCH! No, don't do it… AAHHH!" Clark T. Troopian was then kicked into the ground, just in his underwear. He had a lump on his head as he spoke. "You will… receive word… from my lawyers…"
The Koopa then fainted. Link, of course, paid no attention to his words and simply picked up the red shell and ran back to the alley where he had left Samus and Midna. When he arrived, the two women were panting and had some dirt on them. Midna's barrier seemed to have broken.
"Any final words?" ArwingMaster asked with triumph in his voice.
"Hey, you villain wannabe!" Link called, making the member of the Canon Brigade let out and "uh?" and look to him. "Catch this!"
The Hero then threw the red shell, which flew in the air defying at least a dozen of physics' laws, since it would be aerodynamically impossible for shells to fly like that. But who cares? This is Smash Brothers.
Anyway, the shell then hit the hull of the airship and broke through it, exiting on the other side and leaving two holes in the it, making the vessel shake and smoke start to come out of it as all kind of alarms went on.
"Aw dammit! I knew I should have bought that upgrade which eliminated the weakness against Koopa Shells!" ArwingMaster scolded himself.
"You know…" IceTriforce started, the others getting out of the control deck, from where was coming most of the smoke. "sometimes I ask myself why we have never achieved a victory lately. Then I look at you and I remember why."
The entire airship then exploded, the members of the Canon Brigade were launched out of it and landed on the ground or even in piles of trash around the alley. Link, Samus and Midna took the chance and made a run for it, passing by the stunned teenagers and finally going back to the mansion.
ArwingMaster supported himself on his arms as he tried to get up from the ground. He mumbled in pain and then noticed several pairs of feet in front of him. Looking up, he saw it was Bowser Jr., Rosalina from Mario Galaxy and other guys in black tuxedos that were holding briefcases. Lawyers.
"Uh… h-hi." ArwingMaster said with a nervous smile. The others started to get up too and saw the crowd of lawyers and the two videogame characters looking at the dark haired teenager with not very friendly expressions.
Rosalina and Bowser Jr. snapped their fingers and two lawyers stepped forward, handing two papers for ArwingMaster, who looked at them with an incredulous expression, asking what those were. Bowser Jr. was the first to speak:
"This is an intimation. I'm suing for you using my trademark airship model and modifying it without my permission."
"And this is for you using a Grand Star to power said illegal model, when they are property of my observatory." Rosalina spoke.
The other members of the Canon Brigade looked to where Rosalina pointed and saw a Grand Star in the place where the airship had exploded. They looked back to ArwingMaster and asked in unison:
"You stole a Grand Star?"
"Hey, it was the only thing that could power it. What did you want?" ArwingMaster defended himself. He then backed away when Rosalina and Bowser Jr. pointed to his face, almost touching his nose.
"We will see you in the tribunal!" the two said at the same time.
The videogame characters then turned and with an "humph", walked away with their lawyers. ArwingMaster stood in his place, looking at the intimations he had received. He looked back to the members of his unit and saw them glaring daggers at him, with their eyes narrowed. The dark haired teenager then spoke:
"Well… at least it can't get worse now, can it?"
"Ahem." someone cleared his throat. ArwingMaster turned once more to the other side of the alley and swallowed dry.
Don't you find it funny that when you think things can't get worse, they do worsen? Well, that's one of those situations. In front of ArwingMaster was a mob looking at him angrily. The young man at the head was holding a baseball bat and patting it on his other hand. Some of them wore shirts that said "Midna's Fan club".
"Oh crap…" ArwingMaster said. He jumped back and assumed a commanding pose, pointing forward as he proclaimed. "Everybody! Defensive positions!" there was no answer. ArwingMaster looked behind, only to find his "comrades" were missing. He looked around and saw them now in the middle of the mob, wearing Midna's Fan club's shirts. "What? Guys?" the black haired "official" of the Canon Brigade said, with a comical expression of disbelieve in his face.
"Nothing personal, but you know what they say-" SonicRinger started.
"If you can't beat them-" Silla7 spoke.
"Join 'em." IceTriforce completed.
ArwingMaster let his arms hang on his sides, not believing his unit had deserted. He then looked more to the side and saw MetroMarine among them.
"Not you too, MetroMarine… How did they convince you to join?"
"Midna's poster!" the now not-so-caffeinated-but-still-hyper ex-member of the Canon Brigade said, snickering at what he achieved to get his hands on as he showed the poster with Midna's true form on it.
"Get him!" the young man at the front of the mob screamed.
Screaming like a little girl, ArwingMaster hightailed out of there. After being chased by half of the town, he achieved to lose the mob, just to receive an "invitation for a talk" from the heads of the Brigade in the next day…
- / - / - / -
Link, Midna and Samus were finally at the gates of the mansion when the sun was setting. They were all tired from everything that happened that day. But first, Samus had something she wanted to talk with Midna:
"Time to talk about the payment." what else did you think it could be?
"Oh, do we have to?" Midna asked in a soft tone, like she was trying to charm herself out of that situation.
"Look, nothing personal, but you technically hired us to guard you, and we don't run this joint for free." Samus said.
"Alright, alright. How much was it?"
"Let me see…" Samus tapped the side of her helmet, reading some information on the visor. "It was four hours of guarding you… so it's… $480,00."
There was a silence following that announcement. For the first time since she arrived, Midna actually looked nervous as she asked:
"Sorry. How much was it again?"
"$480,00." Samus repeated.
More silence. That was definitely getting awkward. Midna then asked:
"Can't you give me a discount?" Samus shook her head. Midna then sighed as she said. "Fine… do you take rupees?"
"You mean those crystals? Sorry, only cash."
"And how do you expect me to have that?" Midna questioned. "I just arrived. I didn't even have visited a bank yet."
"Not my problem." Samus said.
Feeling that the friendship Midna and Samus had just built could fall apart at any moment now, Link decided to step in and spoke:
"Wait. I'll pay for Midna."
The two, tall women looked to Link. Samus then spoke:
"Link, you work for me. I can't take your money?" oh, now she doesn't accept money. Guess boyfriend fits in the category "exceptions", eh Samus?
"Just take it from my salary."
"Uh… you do know we don't really have salaries, do you? We just share the profit of the day."
"Well, there has to be some way I can pay for Midna. C'mon. I don't want to see you arguing about something so little. I heard about girls that tried to kill each other for smaller things than this." Link insisted.
Samus thought on what he said. It was then Midna got an idea. She called Samus and the bounty huntress approached her. The Twilight Princess then whispered something to the futuristic woman that Link couldn't hear.
"Tempting. Really tempting. But it won't work." Samus said.
"Why?" Midna asked.
"Well, you see…" Samus whispered something back to Midna and the Twilight Princess let out an "oh" of disappointment.
Link arched his eyebrow at that. What did Midna suggest Samus to take from him as payment? There was a theory that his mind quickly produced, but he shook his head, dismissing it. Midna wouldn't sell him out that way, would she? He concentrated on hearing what the two women were talking now:
"Then how about… ?" Midna whispered other thing to Samus.
"Oh. Now that's good." Samus spoke, grinning behind her visor. Now I'm starting to get scared.
"So, let's go for it?"
"You bet."
The two then turned to Link, who suppressed the urge to gulp, reminding himself that those two would never do something to him. Samus and Midna liked him, though the latter and he had broken up, but they were still being friends, so…
"Oh, Liiink." Midna said, stretching her hand forward and opening it, a black object floating in her palm.
Link reconsidered: yes, they definitely would do something to him…
- / - / - / -
"Have anyone seen Link this morning?" Zelda asked to Meta Knight, Marth, Ike and Lucario.
"No, I haven't heard of or seen him since yesterday." the aura Pokémon said.
"I wonder what must be transpiring for him to don't appear around the mansion for such a long amount of time." Marth mused.
"Probably hanging around with Samus. I bet those two must be having some crazy nights." Ike suggested with a smirk.
"Are speaking it based on your own nights, or simply in your desires?" Meta Knight inquired. He was always one of the sharpest Smashers.
"It's none of your…"
"Actually, his desires. He tried to convince me, but I won't go that far. At least, not before married." Zelda said.
"Zelda…" Ike grumbled.
"I'm sensing his aura… and Samus' too. They're entering now." Lucario announced.
"Really, where?" Ike asked, looking to the entrance of the dining hall.
Meta Knight jumped in a table to get a better look. However, what he saw confused him, since Lucario clearly said he had sensed Link approaching.
"Where is him? I can see Samus, but there's nobody with her besides that wolf."
"Wolf?" Zelda asked, pushing Ike aside and looking. "Oh my…" she mumbled in a surprised tone that carried disbelieve.
"Now, come here Link." Samus said, grinning from ear to ear as she called for the grayish wolf with a white mark on his forehead, very familiar blue-sapphire eyes and an ear piece in the right ear.
Everybody stopped eating when they saw the bounty huntress speaking the name of the wolf. Even Kirby and Yoshi stopped eating, the latter leaving his silverware fell from his hands while his mouth hung mild-open.
The wolf seemed to grumble at seeing the attention he was calling. He could even hear Peach squealing when she saw him, speaking something that sounded like "Doesn't he look like a big puppy?"
Samus then served her plate and the two walked back to the table. He tried to get to his seat, but the futuristic woman spoke, like she was educating a legitimate dog:
"Ah-ah-ah. You know you can't sit in the table."
He growled as he got out and sat at her side, shooting looks at her. Samus acted like she hadn't notice, eating her food. Meta Knight looked to the other direction, trying to not pay mind to the scene, just like Snake.
Link could already hear some people holding their laugh, but he was too busy glaring at Samus. The bounty huntress finally turned her head to him, acting like she had noticed his look just now. She then spoke:
"Oh, don't look at me like this, Link. I promise that if you behave yourself, I'll do something very nice to you, ok?" she then scratched him behind his ear.
Must… resist… instincts… must… resist… Link thought to himself as he tried very hard not to give in to his animal instincts. However, he could never think straight when Samus touched him as a human, so what chances did he have as a wolf? Oh man, this is soooo good.
Then, to everybody's amusement, Link closed his eyes, let his tongue out and wagged his tail while Samus scratched his ear. Now everybody was trying really hard not to laugh. Some let a snicker escape. Zelda was struggling not to squeal like Peach, because in truth, Link did look like a big puppy now and she found it very cute. What do you want? She's a girl too.
"Ohh, you're so cute. Here." Samus threw a piece of waffle to Link, who caught it in the air and eat it with a happy expression on his canine face.
It was then his instincts died down and he was back to his senses. He looked to the piece of waffle in his mouth, his wagging tail and everybody that was either, snickering, holding their laugh, or, in the villains cause, cackling aloud. The only ones who seemed to actually be trying to keep quiet for the sake of the Hero's dignity were Meta Knight, Snake and Zelda, who was looking to him with an expression he never saw on her face before.
Wolf Link growled for the rest of the breakfast, planning how he would get revenge on all of his "friends", not wanting to wait until the spell wore off.
I wonder what their faces would look like when they go to sleep this night and find their sheets and pillows had been "mysteriously" ripped apart. Oh yeah…