Cliche Chapter 10 - As Time Skips On

Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto
I would put a witty snark here but... I forget what happened last week so here's a new chapter instead.

Crimson fire burst to life in the middle of Training Ground 7 as Sasuke Uchiha spat a massive ball of fire towards his grey haired teacher. "Grand Fireball Sasuke?" The scarecrow taunted, tearing through it with a seamless water technique that mimicked the cutting power of wind. "Since when has that been good for anything but a distraction?" He twirled as a fist of lightning streaked past him, grabbing a lightning covered hand in an iron grip. "And not even all that good of a distraction either. Tsk Tsk Sasuke, maybe I should reconsider putting your name forward for promotion, if you're still making such silly mistakes."

Sasuke Uchiha glared at his teacher with a burning humiliation, Sharingan eyes spinning in frustration. "Damnit, I can never get even close to touching you." He moaned, as his teacher threw him back, sliding down his Headband sporting the symbol of Konoha over his own, albeit not natural gained, Sharingan. "Well Sasuke, don't forget. I've been doing this longer than you've been alive." Wait, something wasn't right, Sasuke should not be smirking like. "Oh shit." Kakashi growled as Sasuke's Shadow Clone popped into smoke, lightning streaking up and out of the ground as the Jonin was caught in Chidori Nagashi, a non-lethal, long range variation on the man's own original Assassination technique.

Collapsing with a grunt, his muscles seizing up from the strength of the current Sasuke crouched next to him. "Sure, Grand Fire ball is a pretty terrible technique outside of distraction and even then, you won't fool anyone more than a Genin with the thing." He boasted with a smirk, onyx black eyes alight in joy. "But how about using a rubbish distraction for something far to wasteful to even be considered a distraction?"

"Chidori being such a chakra heavy technique, not to mention being such a final one, who in their right mind would use it so frivolously?"

"So, do I pass your test?" Sasuke asked, arms folded.

"Only if you reverse the paralysis."

With a smirk Sasuke got to work. 'I'll do what you asked Naruto.' the boy thought resolutely. 'I'll protect Konoha. Even though I don't want to. I'll become the Hokage's right hand and, when you're ready, I'll serve you. Because, Lord Hokage, you did the one thing I thought impossible.'

'You gave me my brother back.'

"One of these days Itachi." Mei Terumi scolded as she turned towards a presence on her window sill. "I am going to cleave you through with Hirumaki and where would you be then?"

Itachi Uchiha looked down at his friend with a quirked brow. "You think you're good enough for that Mei?"

"I think so."

Chuckling he stepped into the spartan office of the Mizukage with a slight smile. "I do not have long, wouldn't do to keep Kisame waiting."

"You left him somewhere other than Water yes?" She asked. And Itachi quirked his head, remembering the first time he had met the female Water Shadow, bloody and torn staring down the Monster of the Mist Kisame Hoshigaki, Hirameki in hand spewing acidic mist and drooling molten slag.

"Well, it seems you're keeping rather famous company these days Kisame." She had laughed, a molten dragon emerging lightning fast from beneath ruined water, streaking towards the Uchiha only to erupt in a vicious explosion of black fire as Itachi swung a bored looking towards the construct with crimson eyes. "Itachi Uchiha... now aren't you impressive?"

"Right Itachi?" She demanded snapping him into the present. Sighing, not wanting to bait her anymore Itachi assented.

"No, he is not in Mizu, I believe I dropped him somewhere in Grass, let Orochimaru deal with him for a bit." He said, collapsing into a basic wooden chair opposite her plush luxurious one. "I have maybe an hour before I have to leave, shall we get to busness then?"

Biting her lip, Mei watched the stone faced man with a worried look on her face. "You are sure there is no other way? Do you really have to..."

"Yes." Itachi interrupted with no more than a closing of his eyes. "There is no other way Mei, this is the year I die."

"Neh, Sasori, you not coming with?" A blonde man with a red cloud covered cloak asked surprised, staring down at a hunched over form draped in the same clock, but rocking it more as a tablecloth than a article of clothing.

"I don't see why I should Deidara." The form named Sasori replied with clipped vocalization. "Unless you're far to pathetic to put down a single little girl all on your own?"

"Pft, sure. You keep believing that." Deidara snorted, a hand plunging into a pouch on his waist. "I'll be done faster than Hidan completes his prayers."

Sasori laughed. "Please, as if that's saying anything. The world could end faster than that lunatic prays to his stupid Blood God."

With a quirk of his lips, Deidara revealed his hand, a gruesome mouth with razor sharp teeth and rabid tongue uncurling from around a clay model of a bird. "Be back in 10 Sasori."

"Don't keep me waiting. You know how I hate to wait."

Without giving a reply, Deidara chucked the model into the air where it expanded into a size at least 5 times larger, and began drifting softly on the air as Deidara launched himself on to the constructs back, before it took off towards the great tree that was the shelter for the Village Hidden in the Waterfalls.

On any other day, Deidara might have been able to back up his boast, abducting the target Jinchuriki all on his lonesome within 10 minutes while Sasori sat outside playing with his dolls. In fact, on any other day, Deidara would be the favourite to win, if only because the current mark he and Sasori had been sent to deal with, didn't have nearly as much symmetry with her inner demon as she would need to combat a skilled fighter such as he.

The problem was, it wasn't any other day. And the presence of one banished, blonde haired Uzumaki would make all the difference in the coming Waterfall Building Massacre of the year 552.

"Minato's log, stardate... I really don't know."

Tobirama sighed. "Why do we continue to let him act insane?" He asked of his brother and student with an exasperated groan. "No, better question. Why is it, that when he acts like this nobody slaps him but when I decide to join in on his game you slap me with your wood..." Slapping himself in the face Tobirama turned to his brother. "That was completely accidental Hash, I swear."

"Because Tobirama." The First Hokage responded, pointedly ignoring his brother's verbal screw up, even if his foolish little monkey of a student had no such compunction, breaking down in peels of laughter and pointing. Honestly, had Tobi corrupted him that much? "Minato spent 13 years playing this game, just to try and stay even a little bit sane. It would be unreasonable to expect him to just stop." Yes, all the patience of a saint trying to explain to a particularly hardheaded child just why the sky was blue and not something ridiculous like purple or noodle.

And yes, that had been a particular question Tobirama had asked of their parents when they were young and no. Hashirama really did not enjoy recalling the purposefully stupid things that Tobi had said or done just to get a rise out of their parents.

"Oh and yet, at not one point did you think that maybe, just maybe, jawbreaking me with your Mokuton, I swear to god Sarutobi if you do not stop laughing I am going to drown you with all of the drownings!" Tobi roared, pointing at their former student who had collapsed onto his back. "It wasn't even that funny."

"Obviously Captain Monkey disagrees." Minato piped in from atop a stark white pillar, perched like a cat about to pounce.

"Hey Minato?" Tobi asked quietly, eyes transfixed on the slightly darker shade of white that Minato had claimed as a throne. "Where'd you get the pillar from buddy?"

"...I don't know."

Tobirama groaned and Hashirama chuckled as the two Senju brothers walked away, leaving their successors to their business. Locking eyes, the Third and Fourth Hokages knew that they shared the very same thought.

'All according to plan.'

My god, the last 3 years have been nothing but boring, I swear to ramen.

Okay, maybe boring isn't the word. The occasional ROOT strike team manages to keep things interesting and Iwa is still looking to claim their pound of flesh and the killers they send are always good for a less than friendly not-quite-death match.

Admittedly if I lose it suddenly becomes alot less not-quite-death and a whole lot more very-much-death match. Honestly, Iwatians... Iwanitans? Iwais? People from Iwa, let's go with that. Honestly, people from Iwa sure can hold a grudge, its almost like their entire city is still splattered with a luminescent orange symbol that allows me to pop up in their village anytime I want to taunt them with my ever brazen style of mockery.

Oh... wait. That's completely true.

Still, trying to kill me for such a harmless little prank? Come on people, let it go. Jeez.

So maybe not so much boring and instead maybe just a little bit monotonous, Itachi all but ordering me to stay under the radar until Akatsuki made their move, not at all appreciating my stunt in Iwa.

Please as if it were any different from his stunt in Kiri? What? Feelings of inferiority just because he managed to wrangle an alliance whereas I just got a serious spanking and hospitalization? What do you know brain, your just a mushy pink ball of stuff.

"Witty, it's almost as if you're capable of intelligent thought." Oh right, him too. The Kyuubii decided that it had had enough of just sitting back and watching, the damn thing has now become a constant whisper in my ear. Admittedly, I knew that one day this would happen, but I figured I would have to force the fuzzy mass of pure destruction to subscribe to my insanity, instead he offers himself willingly. "Maybe I just wish to abuse that insanity and make you snap enough to let me take control of this sack you all a body meatbag?"

Oh that fox. Anyway, I was on a tangent... oh right. So with my spectacular ass kicking and Itachi warning in the form of 72 straight hours with, ugh, a cheerful Sasuke (such a thing should be considered unholy and a crime against nature itself) I was forced to split my time between mindless meandering as far away from Iwa as possible and helping Gaara shore up his village in preparation for the coming threat. Oh yeah, Gaara is totally the Kazekage now. Go figure right? The difference 3 years can make. Apparently the Akatsuki thought so as well because, conveniently, they decided to wait just that amount of time before making any overt attempts (Well more overt than Itachi and Kisame knocking down my hotel door) and finally, I can do something to break up the damn monotony of the last handful of years.

"Now, before you say anything, I should make you an offer you would have to be stupid to turn down." I say, smile plastered on my face. "Come with me if you want to live."

The burning orange eyes of the only Jinchuriki outside of the control of the Big 5 Villages narrow in disbelief. Well, fuck. I suppose we're going to have to do this the hard way aren't we.

"Hn... this is a surprise." Ah, they're early. Yeap, looking up, I see him. Floppy blonde hair, scarily reminiscent of Ino's, red and black Akatsuki cloak and obnoxious clay bird that explodes. "Oh no, don't mind. me I can wait." Deidara chuckled with a flip of his way too feminine hair. "Either way, I'm going to kill you both."

The 7 tailed Jinchuriki's eyes widen, and she tosses me away. That was nice of her, that chakra tail of hers was starting to burn.

"Stay out of this whiskers." Oh burn. Honestly, that hurt. It isn't my fault that the conception Gods got off on the irony of branding me with whisker shaped birth marks. "I'll be back with you before you can blink."

Ooh she's cocky, that's okay. All Jinchuriki are to a point, hell I'm a prime example of that rule. The problem is, she doesn't realise just what she's up against. Deidara isn't just a powerful missing nin. He is a powerful Missing Nin that is part of an organization built specifically for hunting down Jinchuriki.

Oh, he dodged her, made it look easy... she definitely wasn't expecting it if the look on her face is anything to go by. With a sigh and as Deidara lets loose with a couple of clay spiders which, thanks to Itachi, I know are very unpleasant little things with a very unpleasant surprise etched into their fabric of matter, I vanish in a burst of blue, my arms wrapping around the snotty little Jinchuriki and vanishing in a puff of smoke. Reappearing in the Village square to the shock of everyone around us. There's my handy little reverse summoning trick, now etched into single use leaves that burn up after use. "You guys might want to evacuate." I pipe up, releasing the girl and turning towards a burst of chakra in the general direction of where we were. "Shit is about to get not so fun."

If they weren't inclined to believe me at my word, the near instant follow up explosion convinced them otherwise.

Probably.

Fuu, no last name, of the village Takigakure had been having a rather... average day. It wasn't spectacularly good, but neither was it absolutely terrible it was just... okay.

And really that suited the green haired, orange eyed teen quite well. In fact average was fantastic because it meant doing nothing, really. Especially in a village like Taki, a small population more comparable to a wandering clan or mercenary band than a fully functioning Hidden Village. But, as always, Murphy decided to piss all over her day.

Not that she realized just exactly how hard Murphy was pissing right away of course, oh no. That would have been too easy.

"Now, I have to say, that is the second strangest shade of hair I have ever seen." That voice had cut through her tranquility of average blah. An intruder in her quiet little seclusion high up in the great tree that shaded her village. "Of course, the pink haired one was kind of a bitch... I hope it wasn't because of the weird hair, I don't want you to be a bitch, you aren't a bitch are you?"

"That depends." She ground out, twitching but otherwise not paying the owner of the voice any mind, neither turning her eyes or her body towards him. "Are you going to keep bothering me with stupid bullshit?"

No reply, but he wasn't moving either... actually, wow. That was a shit tonne of chakra he was hefting around, and there was a little tinge of something else there too, something almost famili...

No fucking way. She tensed, hands arching towards the kunai pouch on her left thigh, and chakra snaking out and leeching at the chains that held down the terrifying Seven tailed Beetle.

"Ah." The boy intoned. "You zeroed in on fuzzy then?"

Fuzzy, that ruled out Demons One, Three, Six and Eight. "Quite the name for your demon Jinchuriki, care to tell me what number yo keep chained up?" She doubted he would answer.

He tilted his head, a wry smile on his face. "Seriously, you expect me to answer that Miss Seven?" Crap, he knew what demon she held? Oh what the hell, of course he knew. She was a Taki Jinchuriki, of course she was Seven. But that was enough, with a snap, she sent out a chakra tail made of the Nanabii's chakra to wrap around him and... it did. The boy made no motion to dodge, no tensing of muscles or even a crease of worry as concentrated demon chakra wrapped into him and scorched his skin.

She went to ask him something, she wasn't quite sure what, but he intterupted before she could articulate anything anyway. "Before you say anything, let me make you an offer you would be stupid to refuse. Come with me if you want to live."

Time to test just how I do I guess. Sister Seven is gobsmacked, not prepared for an S Ranker I guess, and why should she be? She's from Taki. The most dangerous thing they ever dealt with was Kakuzu the Heart Hunter. And that guy was dead.

Supposedly.

But that was another day. "Neh, Fuu... you might want to get ready."

"What, how do you...? No, hell with that, what the hell is going on here?" Hmm, demanding, assertive. I could grow to like this girl.

"Short version, because right now we have no time for anything else." She goes to demand more, but the booms and heat are getting closer and she backs down. Good, you realise there's a time and a place. We'll need that, oh how we'll need that.

But I'm getting way to far ahead of myself here.

"One, guy's name is Deidara, S rank Criminal from Iwa, candidate for Kage before he blew up an entire city block. Uses explosive clay constructs molded with hand mouths, which, let me tell you, squicks me right the fuck out." Oh no, don't look at me like I'm crazy. Itachi did that as well... how can you not be squicked out by hand mouths?
"Two." Let us ignore that for now I guess. "Member of a group dedicated to hunting down and kidnapping the 9 Jinchuriki around the world. So, good news. He won't be trying to kill you. Bad news, he's going to be getting creative."

"Creative?"

"Just, keep in mind. He is a member of a group designed to tackle people of our unique situation. How good are you outside of your use of the demon?" Wait, she looks nervous. No, oh come on. I know Taki isn't exactly in the spotlight, but it's rulers really aren't that stupid, are they?

"I'm probably only Chunnin level without it..." Oh. So they are that stupid. Fuck, that makes things difficult.

"Alright then, hang back. Throw the occaisional Bijuudama if you can manage it but, for the love of God let me handle the direct combat."

"Hoh?" Well shit, he got here a little quicker than I expected. "You think you can take me kid? Ha, don't make me laugh!"

"You're one to talk, Kage candidate at 15 Deidara?" His eyes widen at that, oh. I'm sorry, did you expect to introduce yourself with some sort of Artistic Flair. Not today sunshine. "But maybe that was just because people keep expecting that old gnome of a kage that Iwa has right now to keel over at a moments notice. Tell me Deidara, you think you could take your Grandfather with any kind of success?"

"Hah! You think that old midget is anything to me?" That's right bitch, boast. Keep boasting and give Fuu time to vanish into the surroundings. "Step up to me you foul little heathen, and let me teach you a thing or two about what it means to be Kage level!"

"Well then, shall we dance Deidara of the Twin Scaled Blaze?"

I got my answer in the form of a flock of explosive birds zeroing in on me, eager to latch on a blow me into meat.

Saying their goodbyes, Mei sighed softly as Itachi burst into a flock of crows. 'Genjutsu as usual.' She smiled bitterly. 'It's as if you' don't want me to forget that I didn't even consider that was how you invaded my Village that first night.'

Clutching a stack of letters in her hand, she turned back into her office, snapping the balcony doors closed behind her.

"Goodbye, Itachi Uchiha." She breathed, a stray tear running down her face. "It was a privilege."

Terminator references? In my Naruto? What?

So was the skip well placed, or did I jump the shark with it a bit? Ah whatever, I got almost words out and, to be perfectly honest I prefer to get here now as opposed to later on, it just works better like that. So I think.

Read, review and critique. You know the drill.

Jordan Out.