Chapter 9
Haruhi pulled out a six pack from her school bag. Asahina yelped and even Koizumi looked stunned.
"Ah Su...Suzumiya-san..."
Asahina whimpered. Haruhi looked at us all bemused, and handed us each a can.
"Drink up everyone! We want to make Koizumi look like an alcoholic with lots of empty beer cans spread around" she popped the lid and started gulping hers down. Nagato obliged silently. I doubted she could even get drunk let alone tipsy. Asahina attempted to open hers and ended up spraying herself in the face. Koizumi stared at his for a while, his red eyes looking serious and then he too popped the lid and started drinking.
I decided to drink too, it was a big can and I wasn't sure of the taste at first, but I drank all the same.
Soon enough we were all finished. Asahina had to go and clean herself up after soaking herself, whilst Haruhi scattered the empty cans around my living room.
"Right! Positions! Kyon lie on the sofa. Itsuki you come in and start kissing Kyon's neck..."
...what?
"Hey! What the hell?"
Haruhi turned to me.
"What? You're supposed to be Itsuki's lover? Weren't you listening?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about!"
"Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you! Basically Itsuki is a psycho and your his lover whom he kills and then Mikuru comes to the door advertising fruit and he kills her too!"
She was speaking so fast that I realised she couldn't handle drink very well.
"But..."
"Just do it!" she snarled, taking hold of my shirt and pulling me down onto the sofa.
She stood behind the camera.
"Action!"
Koizumi came over, he stroked my head and gazed into my eyes. He climbed on top of me. My heart went crazy as I felt his breath against my neck, and then his lips, and he slowly started kissing my neck.
Erm, excuse me. You're far too close now. He started kissing faster and harder, until he was biting me. Unable to resist; I mean what else do you do when someone starts kissing your neck? Any initial thoughts of discomfort faded, I grabbed handfuls of his shirt and pulled him nearer. I forgot about everything as he licked my Adam's apple, I pulled him closer, moaning slightly as he bit my ear. Too close! He pulled away and stared at me for ages and then cupped my chin. Then he captured my lips in the hottest kiss I could ever imagine,his lips were surprisingly soft, his tongue brushed against my lips, trying to get in...
"Cut! Hey cut! Stop it now!" Haruhi screeched.
Koizumi let go of me and stood up, leaving me laid there breathing heavily, my heart going wild.
Haruhi marched forward and tapped Koizumi on the head with her directors stick.
"I only told you to kiss his neck! But good work all the same! I really believed it! Right now for the killing scene, are you ready?"
Koizumi smiled and nodded.
Nagato; whom I hadn't realised had still been there watching, gave Koizumi the fake dagger and the ketchup.
Asahina came down all cleaned up,with a towel around her shoulders.
"Mikuru you're in the shot!"
Haruhi screeched. Asahina ran behind her and bowed in apology.
Koizumi turned to me, placing the dagger in his pocket. He climbed back on top of me and my heart went nuts again. I wanted to kiss him. I couldn't deny it.
"Action!"
Koizumi latched his lips against my neck, then pulled back. He brought out the dagger and smiled so sadistically that I actually yelped. He brought down the knife and jabbed it repeatedly into my chest. I groaned in pretend pain, so that Haruhi wouldn't make us do it again.
"Cut! That was great, now Itsuki smear some ketchup of Kyon's chest and we'll get a close up..."
Koizumi brought out the bottle and squirted it all over my chest.
"Like this, Miss Suzumiya?" he innocently asked.
She came over and inspected it, thought for a minute and then started smearing it in.
I feel violated.
"Good, now let's get a close up..." she brought the camera over and positioned it, "Action!"
She filmed my ketchup covered chest and the dripping knife.
"Right, Mikuru. Go outside and ring the doorbell in 5 minutes..."
Asahina yelped a 'yes!' and scooted out.
"Itsuki, when Mikuru rings the doorbell, get up off Kyon with the knife, drag Mikuru inside against the wall, and stab her"
Haruhi moved the camera away and began filming.
Ding dong.
Koizumi got up off me and went out of the room followed by Haruhi.
I heard Asahina yelp as she was 'killed' and Haruhi come back inside for the ketchup. Great. The wall is going to be covered in ketchup.
I got up to go as the ketchup started to feel weird but Haruhi came in and stopped me.
"No Kyon! We need to film mine and Yuki's investigation scenes! You're supposed to be dead!"
She thrust the camera at a ketchup smeared Koizumi.
"You can film Istuki"
He looked at me and my heart started thumping again. So I closed my eyes and pretended to be dead.

Detective Haruhi started prodding me and told Detective Nagato to make notes.
"This was the killer's lover it seems. Stabbed repeatedly in the chest. We aren't going to rule out a lover's quarrel..."
Oh god. Haruhi's going to show our kissing scene to the whole school! Shit! Aw man now everyone's going to think me and Koizumi fancy each other!
The 'Detectives' moved into the hall to prod and poke Asahina's body,so I sat up. The room was a mess. There were beer cans everywhere...
Haruhi and the others came back in.
"Right! That's it for today! Kyon, me Yuki and Mikuru are going to go change in your room, so don't come in!"
She dragged a ketchup covered Asahina upstairs with their bags and Nagato followed.
Leaving me and Koizumi.
Alone.
They'd barely shut the door when Koizumi came towards me. He stared into my eyes and put his hand on my neck, the other forcing me back against the wall. I don't want this. I don't...
But he starts kissing my neck, sucking and licking. It sends shivers down my spine and my heart into a frenzy.
I have to touch him. I lace my fingers into his hair, it's so soft. He looks up from kissing my neck, and looks so hot that I pull his face forward and kiss him. His tongue slides into my mouth, hot and wet as it touches mine.
I don't want this...really.
He touches my face, and whispers in my ear, "Kyon...I want you.."
This can't be real. The jerk is just trying to piss me off.
Suddenly there's footsteps coming down the stairs. Koizumi jumps back. He smooths down his tousled hair and wipes his mouth with the back of his his hand.
Haruhi barges in.
"Koizumi, you could've gotten changed y'know. *sigh* go upstairs and do it now"
Koizumi picks up his things and obliges, not once looking back at me.
"We're going now. Bye Kyon"
Haruhi and Nagato make for the door but Asahina pipes up,
"Um I'm going to wait for Koizumi as we live in the same direction..."
Haruhi turns and shrugs.
"Whatever, see you tomorrow"
Nagato follows and then me and Asahina are left.
"Um. I guess he's told you now?"
I nod. "But I don't believe him. He's probably just trying to annoy me as usual"
"Ah! Nnno he isn't! I mean, haven't you noticed how he looks at you, how he always tries to get close to you..."
Asahina urges.
I shake my head. I won't be taken in so easily this time...
I start picking up the cans and throw them away. Asahina's still stood where I left her.
"Kkyon..."
Koizumi walks in. My heart skips a beat. He's only in his school uniform but it makes me feel hot.
Without looking at me, he picks up his shoes and makes to leave.
"Thankyou for your hospitality."
He struts out. Asahina waves sadly and follows, leaving me alone in my living room, with ketchup all over my chest.