Chapter 10
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Btw Rick is OTT but he has been for this whole series so what's new?
We walked up the drive, as we approached the door it opened, Rick stepped out. Closing it behind him. "Immy," he said smiling,
"hi Rick," I mumbled, walking past him. He caught me off guard by hugging me,
"are you better now?" he asked,
"after what? The love of your life set a gang on me?" I asked,
"Belladonna isn't the love of my life," he said, "I'm going to dump her, I'm sorry Immy I have been a bastard. I didn't believe you really loved me that much," Rick said. I felt uneasy about where this conversation was going.
"I never knew you didn't give a fuck about me till you came back," I told him,
"but I do and every since you've come back I've getting more desperate to kiss you," he said and suddenly his lips were on mine.
Tee just stared,
"what about Bells?" Tee asked,
"look it's not working out..." Rick said before he was cut off,
"so you should have taken the time to dump me," Belladonna said angrily,
"look Bells, it wasn't working,"
"you could have dumped me before you went back to Immy," Belladonna told him.
"Look Bells, we are over. I don't think I ever loved you, well never as much as I loved Immy anyway," I looked at Belladonna and before she looked upset, now she looked furious.
"Oh so everything that has happened between us never mattered, I was just the stand in for Immy, I was simply keeping you in practise, so you would be ready for Immy when she came back," Belladonna cried and one look at Rick's face told me she was right.
"Bells, it's not like that. Much..." he said.
"But it is, I evidently have never meant anything to you and... everything that we have gone through... none of it mattered... I was just a stupid stand in... and... everything I did for you... you know you guys are stupid. You are a complete faggot... and a bastard... and I hate you," Belladonna screamed in tears, I felt bad. I had wrecked everything for her. Because of me her brother is now sitting in a prison cell and she is in a children's home. But she could have saved me, she could have tried. "I can see it now. All guys are the same. They are all stupid and they all break your heart and leave the pieces on your..." the last word was so muffled because of crying then she ran.
I looked Rick in the face, "stick to the science part," I told him and I followed Belladonna. I found her a few minutes later sitting on the car seats in the wooded area, in a foetal position, rocking backwards and forwards crying.
"Belladonna," I whispered, she looked up, her eyes were red.
"Sorry I lied, told the judges you made the stuff about Mark up," she said after a moment,
"Don't worry," I whispered,
"Mark used to hurt me," she said after a minute of awkward silence,
"I tried to talk to him, tell him to stop, he..." she trailed off and turned her back to me and lifted up her hair, there were scars. Lots of scars.
"Why didn't you say, he said he would kill me," she said,
"I used to blame you, thought if you talked to Mark you could make him stop," I said,
"I tried, and..."
"he hurt you, I'm sorry. I thought you just thought I was a slut,"
"you had no choice in the matter, if you had said no he would have done the same to you," she told me,
"he did a lot worse," I whispered,
"yeah, I heard," she replied.
"What was your fight with Rick about earlier?" I asked,
"he told me that he thought I was out of order," she told me,
"Immy," I heard a voice say, Rick's voice. Rick walked into the area,
"the answers no Rick," I told him,
"Immy, I don't want you to judge me," he said,
"well too late mate," I told him, "is this is what is going to happen to me in a few months? You will dump me for someone in your past," I said,
"I wouldn't Immy,"
"but you dumped Belladonna," I replied,
"that's different, you were my first and Belladonna was my second,"
"Belladonna was your last," I said,
"yeah,"
"I hope it stays like that," I told him and I grabbed Belladonna's hand and pulled her away.
I walked with Belladonna, "so what now?" I ask,
"I go onto T2URF and tell them you're not a leopard print whore and that Rick is a tool," Belladonna told me, smiling slightly, despite the situation.
"ok," I said and I watched the girl – one year my junior - walk away. What do I do now? I thought to myself, I can't get back together with Rick. Can I?
Already I felt terrible about what I had said to him, it was kind of sweet that he had waited for me. Even if he had been lying about his feelings to Belladonna. But... it was too soon. He had just dumped his girlfriend and his friend had just died. Much too soon. I would wait and if he still wanted me in a few months time I would reconsider.
Oh god. Looking back, what the hell was I thinking? How could I be so impossibly dense? Why hadn't I seen what had happened with him and Belladonna? Why? Why? Why?
I am asking myself these questions months on, if I had known would this story have ended differently? Well it's not ended yet. I'm still staring at the clouds from the aeroplane window. I haven't reached my destination, I know people back at Elmtree will be panicking but it is better this way. I should never had returned to Elmtree in the first place. I should never have messed up Belladonna and Rick's relationship.