"I mean.. not that I'm complaining because I'm not, this is great, but why are you in my bathroom?" Tai asked, chuckling slightly. I glared him down. He could tell something was wrong. His eyes held concern but I felt he couldn't take me seriously in just a towel. Let alone concentrate on what I have to say. "Do you need to borrow some clothes or something?" He asked, picking up my torn jacket. I nodded slowly, biting back the tears that threatened to spill as memories from not 20 minutes ago resurfaced. He walked out of the bathroom and closer the door. I slumped onto the toilet seat, holding my arms to my chest, trying to conceal the hurt and cowardice that is breaking through. I can't always be strong. I want to be able to break down. Be able to let my feelings out without being judged or people thinking I'm weak. Because I'm not weak. At least.. I try not to be.
The door opened once again. Tai looked more awake and aware of the situation at hand. In his hands were a large light blue shirt, baggy black flannel pants, and.. "Boxers?" I questioned with an eyebrow cocked. He laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head.
"They are the only underwear I have. And the shirt and pants are my smallest pair, but I think they still might be too big." He frowned, kneeling next to me. I giggled.
"Ohh please, I'm not that skinny. But thank you. I really appreciate it Tai." I gave him a warm smile. Tai's eyes wandered to my shoulder. His face turned emotionless. I glanced down. More bruises had accumulated from Matt. Cuts littered my chest and face from running through the woods. All in all, it looked like someone beat the shit out of me. His hand wandered to my shoulder, and lightly skimmed it. A flash of Matt on top of me crossed my mind. I yelped and pushed Tai's hand away, breathing heavily. He gave me a grave look. His eyes filled with concern and hurt. I can't bring myself to tell him.. what happened.. in the one place where all our memories lay, untainted, had now been spoiled with the misery of forced and unwanted love. Can't bring myself to tell him how selfish I was, not caring that Matt too has feelings. But just because I don't feel the same way doesn't give me the right to shatter his dreams. Can't bring myself to tell him that I was a coward and ran from my enemy. He said on the night we were seperated that we need to stand and fight, but I ran and hid. What honor is there in that? None. I even agreed with Tai that night. Stood in the middle of a fight I shouldn't have gotten in the way of. And now, because I fell with Tai by my side, I created a barrier between myself and the two boys. An unwanted tension seperates us, because to them, chosing one or the other is the only way to solve problems. Can they not understand that it isn't that simple? Not all decisions can be made so rashly, for the outcomes could lead you down the wrong path. Why can't they understand that?
But I can say that my feelings for Tai have become stronger. It is easier to admit that now, than continue to deny it. But no one can know. It would cause even more problems between the two of them and they are supposed to be the leaders. Besides, the fate of the world is resting in the Digidestined's hands. The matter of my love life is absolutely nothing compared to that. And besides, I'd much rather worry about saving the world, than about which guy I should end up with. Because in all honesty, I don't want to have to choose. I can't hate Matt for what he did tonight. But I can't love him either. His true colors.. the force and brutality.. and the fact that I can't love still stand in the way. And then there is Tai.. they one guy I shared my life with. He knows more about me than I do and I, him. He has saved me in so many ways and I try to bring out the best in him. There is so much potential, so much love, so much anger he harbors inside because he feels judged. He always trys to prove his leadership skills because everyone doubts him. Always trying to help and on rare occassions when he fails, he is too hard on himself. That is his flaw. When he doubts himself, others tend to become doubtful. But I believe in him. I know what he is really like. But is that enough for love? Enough to say that he is the one and only? Enough to even be worthy of his time or love for that matter? But to have someone to hold onto.. to have a shoulder to cry on.. to be worthy of such a kind and pure heart.. thats all I want. But I know with the wrongs I've done, and my faults and flaws, I'll never be worthy of someone like Tai. Why should the Crest of Love be bestowed on someone with no love. How does that make sense. It's more like a burdon. An embarresment to myself that I can't live up to my crest.
Tai's soft touch to my cheek brought me back to reality. His fingers lightly brushed the cuts and pushed my hair back behind my ear. "What happened." He asked softly. I can tell him now.. Now is my chance. My chance to let everything out. Finally lift this terrible weight off my shoulders. Tears welled in my eyes. I know I can't tell him. I can't expose Matt like that. There is no telling how Tai would react. And I'm just not in the mood to deal with Tai on the rampage.
I shook my head. "I can't tell you. I want to but, I just can't bring myself to do it." His hand fell from my cheek. He wore a disappointed frown. He left the bathroom slowly., closing the door silently. I sighed, mentally kicking myself for almost breaking down in front of him. It can't happen. I won't allow it. I stood and let the towel drop to the floor. I looked at the pile of clothes Tai left for me. My stomach fluttered as his sweet scent drifted upwards. I pulled the oversized boxers up my legs, rolling them up a few times. They still hung loosely around my waist. I pulled his shirt down over my head and let it dangle. His smell was intoxicating. A good smell. It gave me butterflies, making me clutch my abdomen. This feeling is so different. I can't tell if I like it or not. Only time will tell..
I pulled the oversized pants to my waist and rolled them a few times. When I walked out of the bathroom, Tai was lying on the floor with a single pillow and blanket. Kari lay in her bed, fast asleep. I knelt down next to Tai. "Why are you on the floor?" I whispered. He looked up at me a smiled slightly.
"Because youre sleeping on the bed." He answered plainly, not even bothering to whisper. Kari must be a heavy sleeper. I opened my mouth to object but his finger went to my lips. I stopped mid-sentence, barely able to breathe."Just shut up and go lay on the bed." He chuckled. I gave a half-hearted smile.
Before I stood up, I leaned back down. My lips lightly touched Tai's cheek. "Thank you, for everything." I whispered in his ear. He stared at me with his mouth slightly ajar. My cheeks burned red as I walked to the bed. Once I laid down, what I just did dawned upon me. My stomach turned at the thought that I could have just ruined everything. What If I just sealed the deal.. my feelings.. I know they all point to Tai. After everything we've been through. After all the small moments of depending on each other, I can't deny the fact that I feel something for him. Something strong. Matt was wrong about me.
Tai's P.O.V.
I can still feel the the light touch of where her soft lips once were. I can still feel the fluttering in my stomach. Everything about her makes me so uneasy. I can't tell her how I really feel because she will never return the same feelings.I know she isnt familair with the concept of love. She has never been shown love. No one has ever cared about her enough to the point where she has totally alienated herself. Sora doesn't let anyone in because she doesn't want to deal with the heartbreak. The uncertainty and sacrifice. Yet, she is missing out on so much.I want her to realize how much I will do for her. How much I want her to need me. I would give anything. Save the world a million times over.
And maybe that's what I should be more worried about. Finding the eighth Digidestined is crucial. But making the girl I love happy is even more important. She deserves the best. But I know no matter how hard I try, I can't convince her that she needs to think about herself. She needs to start thinking about what makes her happy and stop trying to please others. I wish she would put herself before everyone else.
I looked up at her sleeping form. Her hips curved under the blankets. Even with oversized clothing. I wish I was up there with her. She is obviously stressed out. I want to know what happened to her. Something happened last night. Something bad. I just want her to be happy.. Thats all I want for her.
I woke up to a light haze. The smell of breakfast drifted into the room from the shut door. I looked up at Kari's bed. Empty. Sora lay on her side facing the wall. Biyomon lay at the foot of the bed next to Koromon. I sighed heavily. Its so hard to make a move on her. Everytime I touch her, she flinches. If only she knew that she makes my heart beat uncontrollably everytime I come close to her. I just want- "Ouch!" I yelled as her hand smacked my face. She opened her eyes groggily and looked down at me.
"Why are you so loud?" She asked groggily. I smiled up at her. Her eyes were dim in the hazy lighting. Locks of reddish brown hair fell into her face.
"You smacked me." I laughed. She apologized quickly. "Come on. Mom made breakfast." She looked troubled. "What is it?"
She pushed the hair out of her face. "Tai, you and your mom have already done so much. I can't intrude. I'm just going to go home. But really thank you for everything you've done for me. I can't thank you enough."
"Sora just stay for breakfast. I'll walk you home. Just please, for me?" I leaned up towards her face. I could see her cheeks start to darken but I didn't stop.
"I guess... I could stay..." Her face leaned towards mine. Our lips were centimeters apart. I closed my eyes, about to lean forward and meet her soft lips.
"TAI!" Sora yelped falling off the bed and into my lap. Her face leaned against my bare chest. I felt a boner starting to form as I tried my best to stay calm. I'm not trying to scare her away. Kari ran around the room, grabbing clothes and sprinting to the bathroom. Within seconds, she was dressed and walking to the bedroom door. "Bye guys!Off on a date today. Ohh by the way, Izzy called. He said everyone should meet at the city park. Have fun!" She sang happily. She closed the door behind her. I looked down at Sora. She wore a terror struken face. She looked up at me and her face immedietely turned emotionless. She was at the park last night.. Something bad happened. Something really bad.
Sora awkwardly got up, apologized, and walked into the bathroom. I sighed and walked out of the bedroom, laying on the couch. "Hey mom? Why was Sora here?" I asked.
"She said she got into a fight with her mom. She went for a jog but got attacked my dogs. Although, those were some terrible bruises and cuts from just dogs. I feel so sorry for her. She has always had it rough. When her father left, her mom went into depression. Sora practically had to fend for herself. But you helped her through it. With her every step of the way." My mom smiled. What? I don't remember any of that.
"Mom, what are you talking about? I mean yea we hung out... every day... but I don't remeber her mom going into depre-" Sora opened the door, looking more awake and put together. Breakfast was eaten in silence. Once we were done, Sora thanked my mother. She grabbed her torn clothing and slipped on her shoes. She was about to walk out the door when I slipped a jacket on her shoulders. She looked at me with a stern face. I smiled and walked out beside her. Biyomon had flown out of my window, carrying Koromon and joined up with us.
The sun should be up by now.. but a musky fog is blocking the majority of the sky. As a matter of fact, the fog has been abnormally thick since we got back. I wonder if it has to do with Myotismon being here. Sora looked on edge. She stayed close to me, her arm rubbing against mine occasionally. Even the slightest noise would cause her to search. What if it was Myotismon she ran into? Might as well ask. "Sora, you ran into Myotismon last night. Didn't you." Her faced showed no emotion. We approached her front door.
"Myotismon wasn't the only one I ran into.." She whispered. What does that mean? Who else could have hurt her? She opened the door.
"SORA! Where the hell have you been!?" her mother yelled, grabbing Sora's wrist harshly. "Do you know how worried I was! You are not allowed to leave this house without my consent! Do you hear me young lady?! And tell Yamato to stop calling. He says he wants to apologize for last night. What doing with him last night? You better not be out of line girl. This behavior is unacceptable. What has gotten into you?! You never used to act like this. What happened to my baby girl?!" Her mother fumed. Sora tore her wrist from her mother's grip.
"I grew up! You wouldn't know that because you can't give two shits about me! Stop acting like you care because I know you don't! You can't control me. As soon as I turn 18, I'm moving out.. I can't live with you anymore. I'm going out like it or not. So don't try and stop me." Sora said quietly. She walked into her room and slammed the door shut. Sora's mom sighed heavily.
"Hello Taichi. How are you?" She asked, changing the subject.
"I'm fine ma'am. Don't wworry, I'll keep an eye on Sora." I stated.
"I'm sure you will.." She said as she walked to a different room. I crept to Sora's bedroom door, knocking lightly. I could hear faint sniffling. So thats what happened last night. What the fuck did Matt do to her? I'll fucking kill him. I banged my hand on the door.
No answer. I did it again, this time louder. "Sora, open up now." I said. The door unlocked and swung open. Sora had flushed cheeks and watery eyes. No sign that she was actually crying. I looked her straight in the eyes. "What did he do to you?"
Alrighty, hopefully everyone liked the chapter! Review and I'll update! Till next time !