Chapter10-Just Leave
'Mandy? Where are you?' Scott asked.
I rolled my eyes. "Why do you want to know?"
'I need to talk to you. Face to face.' He said, sounding panicked.
"I'm not home. Sorry." I said, opening the fridge.
'I know that. I'm here and... you aren't... obviously.'
I rolled my eyes. "Scott, can we do this later? I'm busy."
'I need to talk to you. Now.'
I sighed. Didn't he notice my tone? I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to run to help him out. Not today. I knew that was selfish but... I was just... I don't know.
'Please, Mandy.' He begged.
"You owe me." I said, grabbing my purse from the small table. It's a good thing I didn't tell Derek I'd stop by. I walked out the door and cut through the backyards of houses. The walk from my house to Derek's wasn't far. But it was a walk.
I was there in under ten minutes. Scott was waiting, rubbing his hands together nervously. What has gotten into him?
"What-" I started. I was interrupted. No chance in speaking.
He attacked me with a hug. "I screwed up."
"Ow. Okay. What did you do?" I asked, pushing him away.
He sighed. "Sam broke up with me."
"What? Why?" I said, pulling him to the porch steps. I sat down beside him and took his hand.
"Something's been bothering her for a while now. When I finally asked what was going on, she broke up with me. Would you know what's wrong with her?"
Thinking back, I had been so caught up in my problems that I hadn't noticed anything wrong with Sam. I was more worried about learning the truth about Derek. Was I really that selfish? All along?
I shook my head. "I didn't notice anything. I-I haven't been talking to her lately."
"Are you fighting?" He asked, looking over at me.
"No... I just haven't been a very... social person lately." I said, sighing. I laid my head on his shoulder.
"Is it because of the whole Derek thing?"
I nodded, pressing my forehead to his shoulder. "It's just got me so stressed out lately. I haven't had time for anything."
"Maybe you should take some time off from being so busy." He said, hugging me.
"I don't have any time." I groaned.
"Then I'll stop bugging you about stuff."
I shook my head. "No, that's not what I meant. I just... I've been so caught up in my mess with Derek that I haven't done anything for anyone." I sighed. "I didn't even want to see you today. Not until you begged and made me feel bad."
He laughed. "So it took my pain to get you out of being selfish? Maybe I should get hurt more often."
"Don't do that. It's stupid and you're not stupid." I said, moving my head so my cheek was pressed against his shoulder.
We were quiet then. And I wondered what things would be like if Derek left again. Would I be with Scott? Even after my little sister dated him?
It was weird to think about but I could see it. I could see him kissing me... and hugging me... and telling me everything would be okay. He'd be everything Derek was... but he'd be here... with me. Suffering along with me.
I sighed and pulled away from him. No, no. I shouldn't think that way. It wasn't right. I was dating Derek. I loved him and he loved me. And as long as he was here... with me... I wouldn't dare think of Scott that way. I shouldn't... but I did.
"Mandy?" Scott asked. Had he been talking all that time? Huh.
"Uh-what?" I asked, looking up at him.
He laughed. "You weren't paying attention, were you?"
"Sorry, no. What were you saying?"
"I think I'm gonna head home. Will you talk to your sister for me?"
"I will." I said, standing up beside him. He was taller than me, by at least a foot.
He smiled. "Thanks."
I hugged him gently. "Bye, Scott."
"Do I ever get a warning?" I asked, walking into my room to see Derek on my bed.
He smiled. "I don't think so."
I sat down beside him on my bed and kissed him. I still hadn't said anything to Sam about Scott yet. Derek didn't even know I talked to Scott at all. Maybe that was a good thing.
Derek ran his fingers through my hair softly. "I tried calling you."
I went to get my phone from my pocket only to realize I left it in my car. I'd been doing that a lot lately. "Sorry. I haven't used it all day." Except when Scott called me, I reminded myself.
He kissed my nose softly. "I figured you'd want to see me."
"Obviously." I whispered, shutting my eyes.
He smiled against my lips and pulled back, leaving me waiting. "Scott told me he talked to you today."
I nodded. "Yeah... we talked." I said, sitting back against my pillows.
Derek's smile wasn't there anymore. He was watching me, waiting for me to say anything more.
I looked up at him, not smiling either. "You look jealous."
He didn't say anything. No shrugs, no shaking of his head. No body movement what so ever.
I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed him lightly, shutting my eyes. "I hate this. All this... fighting between us."
He wrapped his arms around my waist. Nothing more, nothing less. He didn't say anything back.
I pushed away from him and got to my feet. "I don't even know why I try anymore, Derek. It's obvious that you don't want this anymore. That you don't want me. Just go. I'm done trying."
He got to his feet slowly, afraid I'd hurt him. "Mandy..."
I pointed to the door, tears blurring everything I saw. "Just. Leave."
He watched me for a few heartbeats. Then he was gone.
I collapsed onto the floor and my tears flowed out swiftly. I couldn't handle this. The pain, the torture. I just couldn't. No matter how much I loved Derek... I couldn't stay.