A/N- I'm liking this myself :P. I hope you are, please let me know with a review. Thanks :), and keep enjoying.
Previously-
Spike just lay there, looking at the hand that had just felt her heart. He knew he had to be careful now. Spike knew now, that he held her heart in his hands.
Chapter 10- It's Just Too Hard
Buffy got out of the bathroom and turned back to her bedroom dressed in a towel. Spike was still laying there staring at his hand. She took a quick glance at him and left him like this, turning to her wardrobe to pick out some clothes. She grabbed a sky blue long sleeve cashmere sweater and some grey slacks, and headed back to the bathroom to dress herself.
Spike still didn't move from his position. He obviously wanted Buffy to forgive him, but he didn't think it would be that simple. He was grateful, but still questioned it. He wouldn't mention it for a while, but sometime soon he knew he would have to bring it up.
As Buffy dressed herself she thought of her situation. Spike cheated on her. They never really had a real relationship at the time, but nonetheless he cheated on her. He tells her this, and the next day she forgives him... This was not the right thing to do. He can just as easily go ahead and do the same thing again. When she lay with him last night, she felt safe. She knew the man that held her in his arms, was not faithful only just a few nights ago. It hurt inside, but she still felt safe and wanted him to be there. She can't just let him get away with this. If she ever wanted him to stay and be faithful to her, she knew that he had to be punished... 'What the hell Buffy, you want him to be faithful? You want HIM. You want a relationship with this vampire. Buffy... what are you thinking?' she thought to herself. The things she admitted to him just before, that he tore her heart, this must give him the impression she wants a relationship. 'No! You do not want a relationship with him... You do not love him?' this was a questioned thought, not a statement. She had to get out of this 'relationship' that she must have just got herself into.
She walked back into the bedroom, brushing her long blonde locks into a ponytail.
"Spike..."
Spike took a moment before he looked away from his hand and back up at her, still stunned at what she had said earlier. "Ah... yeah?"
"We need to talk."
Spike had barely even processed the things she said just before she hoped into the shower. Knowing he wouldn't be able to even remember what she was about to say he nodded in agreement for her to continue.
They both sat on Buffy's bed, looking at each other.
"Well..." she began. Spit it out Buffy, spit it out! "We can't 'see each other'." she stopped there, not sure where to continue.
"Umm... yeah... ... ahh... I understand... I-I should be going then, yeah?"
Buffy was surprised he didn't ask why, or put up a fight. "I think that'd be best." she replied nodding in unison with her words. "It's just too hard..."
Spike nodded in agreement. "I'll be waiting when you're ready," he slowly said. The words just slipping out of his mouth like he had no control.
Spike lifted himself, his eyes back on his hand, and slowly headed out the door and back to his crypt. He hadn't been back to his crypt since he picked up Buffy. He just prayed Drusilla hadn't come for another visit.