Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.
My Armor Owns Your Ashtray
Here's a treat for all of you guys!
Chapter Ten: Busted!
It was a normal, almost quiet day at the office. If you ignored the gunshots and screaming, that is. Sighing and standing up for his fifth or so coffee break, Havoc stood up and walked out of the room, ignoring the threats Hawkeye had screamed at his retreating back. He'd deal with it later. If anything, Al would protect him, Hawkeye always did have a soft spot for Al.
"Hey, Havoc, long time no see," a short, blonde-haired boy wearing a red coat said, walking past him.
"Yeah, you too, Chief," Havoc said, walking out the front door, sitting on the bench, and taking a puff on a newly lit cigarette. It took a minute or two for Havoc just who he just spoke to.
"Uh, oh."
There was a distinct clatter of noise that Ed decided he would ignore coming from Al's direction, when he walked into the office. Everything looked basically the same, though Al had his own desk, now. He didn't approve of his baby brother's joining of the military, but a job was a job. As long as a war or two didn't pop up anytime soon…
"Hey guys, nice to see you again," he said, walking into the room and sitting down in a nearby chair, Havoc's currently vacant one.
"Welcome back, Edward," Hawkeye said, smiling warmly as Black Hayate decided to sit on the boy. Now, Hayate was no longer a cute, pint-sized puppy. Oh, no, no, he'd grown up to be an adorably cute, fluffy, 3-foot tall husky. Who Ed could've sworn just broke his automail leg. The creaking sound of strained metal didn't seem to help, either.
"Hi, Lieutenant. Now, Hayate! Down!" he shouted. It didn't seem like Black Hayate was a very good student in obedience school.
"Oh, that's so cute," Fuery said, patting the dog on his head and saying hello to Ed.
"Whatever you say, Fuery, whatever you—" Breda started, only to get a warning glare from Hawkeye, "I mean, yes, yes, he's adorable."
"Well, we're glad to have you back, Ed," Falman said, jingling the large dog's leash, Black Hayate bounding off of Ed's lap and onto the floor. It was, after all, time for his walk.
"You should probably report in," Al said, hiding three or four picture frames under the desk. It might not be good if my brother saw these. He might freak out, Al thought.
"Right, right, time to go say hello to the bastard," he grumbled darkly, "How in the world is someone like him our superior?"
"My guess is he slept with a higher up's wife," Hawkeye said uncharacteristically, a few blank stares sent her way, "What?"
"Uh, I'll be right back," Ed said, walking towards the Colonel's office, "I bet it's that time of the month," he whispered to the guys, just a little bit too loudly. Loud enough for Hawkeye to command Hayate to "play." Unfortunately for the very large dog, the Fullmetal Alchemist was no longer in the room.
"Hey guys, the Chief's back!" Havoc yelled, running into the office.
"Yes, we know," Falman said, "And where have you been?"
"Smoking, obviously. Put that out, Havoc," Al said, grimacing slightly and pointing at the white stick in Havoc's mouth, receiving no response, "Put it out or I'm not kissing you at all, today."
"Fine," he said, "But anyway, this means Al's moving out!"
"No more late-night 'snacks', eh, Jean?" Breda laughed.
"Shut up, Breda!"
"Well, I'm sure it'll all work out, somehow," Fuery offered, trying to be optimistic.
"No, no it won't," Hawkeye said, crushing his words and ignoring the spoiled dog's whining. He wanted to go and he wanted to go now. A look from his master told him he'd just have to wait.
"What are we going to do, A—" Havoc began, clasping his hands around Al's,and interrupted by a very loud bang and a muffled "Shut the fuck up!"
"They're at it again," Hawkeye sighed.
"As I was saying, what are we—" Another bang and a thump.
"I don't kn—" Al started, interrupted by another thump. Really, all these sounds were just so distracting.
"Have you ever wondered what exactly they're doing in there?" Breda thought aloud.
"They're probably killing each other," Hawkeye mused, hoping they weren't, "We should probably—" a muffled "Ouch!" "—stop them or something."
Walking over to Colonel Roy Mustang's private office, Fuery knocked on the door.
"Sir, is everything okay in there?" he asked hesitantly, sure that nothing was wrong.
"Yes, everything's f-fine," the Colonel said, voice seemingly strained as if he was in pain.
"You are clearly not," Hawkeye said, trying to open the door only to be met by the stubborn resistance of a lock.
"W-wait, don't come in—" BANG! And there went the doorknob, "—yet!"
"Oh—" Hawkeye started.
"—my—" that was Falman.
"—fucking—" that was Breda.
"—G—" Fuery tried, but was interrupted by a very happy Havoc.
"Ah hah! I knew it!" Havoc shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at the now buttoning up pair, Al snapping as many pictures as he could with his camera. Why he had one, the world would never know. Untangling himself from the infamous Roy Mustang, Ed pulled his pants up and threw one of their shirts onto the other man.
"Sh-sh-shut up!" Ed yelled, trying to get his hands on his brother's camera without dropping his pants, blushing heavily.
"These are so going on the internet."
And that's the reason why I love him, Havoc thought, watching the humorous scene of the two brothers, before tackling his superior officer before he could snap his fingers and fry the office.
"The girls are so going to freak," Hawkeye noted, "Alphonse! You're coming to my house on Friday with those pictures!"
Ahaha, I had fun with this one. Hope you guys like your present!
Brilliantly Me,
Shining