Time: Around Harry's 6th year (1996)
Ships/Parings: Drastoria (Astoria G. x Draco M.)
OG Idea: Astoria is actually a green apple and many other crack ideas.
Setting: Greengrass household, Malfoy Manor or Hogwarts
Characters: Astoria G., Daphne G., Draco M.
Plot: "Astoria and Daphne decide to tickle a sleeping dragon."

I Ticked A Sleeping Dragon

When Draco Malfoy casted the Patronus spell, he did not expect this to happen.

Draco honestly did not expect a green apple to hover in the air. The apple then somehow got up and transformed into a girl. Astoria Greengrass, Draco thought. I've seen her around here.

The girl winked at him and whispered, "Poor you." Then it all melted away and Draco woke up, shivering in the middle of the night on his bed.

Daphne looked at her sister, who was still sleeping. "Astoria, wake up."

Astoria did not wake up.

"Astoria. Wake up," Daphne tried. Astoria yawned, and waved her hand around. "Ow," Daphne muttered, when Astoria poked her in the eye. "Wake up already!"

"Coming, sis", she muttered. Astoria scowled and added, "No need to scream," she fired back drowsily. "I was just about to wake up."

"Did you forget? Today we're going on an important mission! We're going to—"

"Shh, I do remember, but if you don't keep quiet they're going to hear you. We've gotta do this quickly." The two quickly scrambled to finish the final preparations for their mission and quickly returned to their dorm, acting as if nothing was about to go wrong.

Draco drowsily hopped down the stairs to breakfast. Sitting down on a bench, he slowly opened his eyes. A plate was sitting in front of him. Draco pushed it away and looked ahead outside the window, without an appetite.

Since it was a Sunday (or was it a Monday? Draco hoped it was a Sunday), he realized he could go upstairs and sleep more. He groaned and walked back up the stairs. Today was Draco's 'free night' when he didn't have to visit the dark lord, which would also give him more time to find his mask.

Scurrying upstairs, he found a note on his bed. "You left your shoes back downstairs," Draco's eagle owl attempted to spell out. "You should go back downstairs, Draco. You left your shoes back downstairs. You should go back downstairs, Draco. Y—"

"Ulysses, stop it! I'm going downstairs!" Draco yelled.

Daphne and Astoria giggled as they hurried down the stairs. "Sis, that was amazing! Although I'm sort of tired after travelling back and forth twice now," Astoria exclaimed.

"No, we were amazing. Now hurry along. We can't miss breakfast!" Daphne grinned. "We wait for the announcement now." A few minutes later, Dumbledore, noticing something amiss, waved his arms for the great hall to quiet down.

"Hogwarts," Dumbledore announced. "Today we have a very important announcement. Somebody has tickled the sleeping dragon! Please evacuate the school as soon as possible!" A horrifying gasp rang out throughout the Great Hall. All students, with the exception of Draco, rushed to grab their bags and headed towards the gates of the school.

"How many times must I tell you students to not tickle Draco when he is sleeping?" Professor Flitwick huffed, moving higher to not be trampled on. "The last time it happened..." he shook his head vigorously, attempting to clear his mind of the scene. "You all know what happened last time! Who did it this morning?"

The enormous apple behind Professor Flitwick began to gulp up the tables, and once the floor was clear it even attempted to go after the other students (much similar to a Pac-Man game, Hermione noted). Suddenly, a girl burst out of the storage room, and cast a spell towards the apple.

"Draco, nos non amāmus!" The apple did a backflip and morphed back into Draco. The entire school could tell by the lack of noise that the monstrous apple had been destroyed and began to cheer for the girl. Another similar looking girl emerged from a corner, holding a camera. They threw up their hands and grinned amongst the school's cheers, until Mr. Filch appeared and barked, "They actually set this entire situation up so we could skip MONDAY class! The first class of the week, the most important one!"

"Well, you can't deny it still happened," Daphne grinned. "This is going to be all over the news for the next week. Right, Astoria?"

Astoria, grinning as well, exclaimed, "We tickled the sleeping dragon!"

A/N: I was considering deleting this idea since it was poorly executed and had a terrible cliffhanger. After some consideration, I decided to keep it and turned around the entire plot to make it somewhat enjoyable. How fun. I do recognize a few plot holes; I apologize for their presence. I've also decided to not bring up Pureblood ideals for once and excuse the fact that they could've not gotten along so well. Thank you for reading and have a great Thanksgiving!