Tokiko "Haa..."

Tokiko was troubled. So troubled that she was certain she had never felt this way before.

Tokiko was currently in her own room at the Kourindou. She was stretched out on the bed with arms and legs spread wide as she looked up at the ceiling. Even though it was midday the room was dark with the curtains drawn and the lights turned off. A single beam of light made it through a gap in the curtains to illuminate Tokiko.

The warm light made Tokiko's skin glow a soft pink, but her expression was dark and her emotions were depressed to match.

She rolled over. Her gaze shifted to the desk that Rinnosuke had made for her. He hadn't made just the desk, but also the bed, closet, dresser, stuffed animals, and even the clothes she was wearing now. Rinnosuke had made everything in the room. He was able to make any number of things from the scraps he gathered at Muenzuka.

Tokiko "Mm."

She reached over to the desk and picked up a picture frame. Rinnosuke made that too. The frame held a single photograph. The photo showed three figures standing in front of the Kourindou.

One was Morichika Rinnosuke.

Another was Kamishirasawa Keine.

The final figure was Tokiko.

Shameimaru had taken the photo to test out her camera after having it repaired by Rinnosuke. It was just at the one year mark since Tokiko had begun living at the Kourindou, and since Rinnosuke and Keine had also been there they'd all had their photo taken together. The picture looked a bit like a family photo.

At the time Rinnosuke wasn't married and Tokiko wasn't his daughter. Keine likely had feelings for Rinnosuke already, and Rinnosuke certainly didn't dislike having Keine around to help him. Tokiko had noticed all of that

Tokiko "Looking at us like this... we really do look like a family."

She muttered to herself while looking at the photo.

And they really did look like a family. Their hair color was similar, their clothing styles matched, and to anyone looking at them they would look like a normal family. Even Tokiko, who certainly knew better, couldn't help but think they looked related.

But she couldn't think that now. Now it felt completely unnatural.

Because now Tokiko is married to Rinnosuke. The ring that went on her left hand was her proof of that. Tokiko was now Rinnosuke's wife. Keine as well. On the day of their wedding they had gone from being unrelated but strangely familial to being an actual family. But Tokiko's heart felt heavy with uncertainty.

She wasn't upset about being married to Rinnosuke. Rather it was her relationship with Keine that left Tokiko feeling so out of place. She had always been like a mother to Tokiko - even teaching her to cook and helping her with her studies. They had truly been like mother and daughter. Tokiko had been happy with that, but now that they were both married to Rinnosuke it would be impossible to return to that - or so she thought.

Tokiko "What am I supposed to do..."

Which is why she was so worried.

While Rinnosuke was working on building their new home, Tokiko was tasked with watching over the Kourindou. Since Keine had her teaching duties to attend to Tokiko was all alone. The Kourindou didn't see many customers, so it was always silent within. Keine had left tupperware filled with meals for her to eat. At first she had sat at the store counter as Rinnosuke did, but she quickly became so bored that she spent most of her time in her room instead. If anyone did happen to visit the store the bell on the door would warn her.

Tokiko (So it's this quiet without Rinnosuke around...)

She'd had no idea about anything before coming here. About Rinnosuke or Keine. She'd only begun to learn about them after. She'g begun to grow closer to both of them and learned some things from Ran. But there was a lot she still didn't know. Especially about Rinnosuke.

Tokiko "Rinnosuke..."

Tokiko has no past. More specifically, she has no memories of her past. She remembers nothing from before meeting Rinnosuke. It seemed she had amnesia and could no longer remember her life from before. There were two types of amnesia - either a physical impact made her mind lose access to her memories, or an emotional shock had created a barrier inside her mind. In Tokiko's case she didn't even know which type of amnesia she had. At the time her clothing had been shredded and her body covered in wounds, so a physical trauma seemed likely... but Eirin hadn't been able to state with certainty after looking over her.

To Tokiko's perception time had only started when Rinnosuke picked up her ragged, beaten form.

Her first impression of him was that he was a kind stranger. He was a strange, sour-faced man who picked her up. He was either a man who was too kind for his own good or just a plain weirdo. That was her first impression of Rinnosuke. Of course, with her odd number of wings she couldn't really call anyone else weird. Especially since she had no memories. She didn't even know if there was meaning behind her wings.

Despite this she didn't find it all that difficult to begin a new life.

When her wounds healed and she could get around on her own, Tokiko departed the Kourindou. Rinnosuke gave her clothes and shoes as a parting gift. The clothes she had been wearing were rags, so he had created a similar outfit from scratch. The sizing of everything was perfect. She had no idea where she would go, but she felt confident that she could do well. During her recovery she had begun to read books that were in the shop. There were stories, of course, but also books on fishing, identifying edible mushrooms and fruits, and detailed information on various species. Thanks to her reading she never ate anything she shouldn't, but another matter troubled her instead.

At that time she still had not been taught how to cook by Keine - in fact she hadn't even met Keine. Tokiko didn't have even an ounce of cooking knowledge, as Rinnosuke hadn't kept any books on cooking in the store.

Even without a flint she managed to start a fire. With enough strength just rubbing two sticks together would eventually get a fire going. As long as you could get an ember dry leaves would let you produce a flame.

She decided that simply roasting her food over the flame would be the best approach, so she skewered some mushrooms and put them over the fire. Of course having no idea what she was doing they blackened and burned. Her cooking attempts generally resulted in ashes. Even just peeling fruit that she found was more than she could handle, so she often ended up eating the peel or rind of the fruit as well, which upset her stomach.

For her sleeping place she found a large tree with an opening at the base. Thanks to the feathers on the back and head she had some padding, but even with them her chosen sleeping place was awful. She couldn't stretch out or change position, so her back and hips would ache through the night. Sleeping on hard wood instead of a bed was taking a toll, but she had no money and no other options. Fortunately the sun could reach her fairly easily, and as long as she covered herself with a cloth at night she could generally keep dry when it rained. There was also a small pool nearby where rain water collected, so she had something to drink.

In terms of surviving there weren't any real problems.

...But that was only in terms of surviving.

There was nothing else there.

No books.

Nobody to talk to.

It was an endless cycle of eating and sleeping.

She felt as though she would go insane.

The books in Rinnosuke's store had said that staying alive was the most difficult and painful thing of all, but now that Tokiko had experienced it for herself she could say with certainty that just surviving and doing nothing else was true suffering.

She couldn't remember how long she lived like that. At some point her clothes were filthy again and her shoes were worn ragged from use.

She wasn't sure what she would do there, but she found herself wanting to go back to the Kourindou. Going empty-handed left an unpleasant taste in her mouth, so she picked a bunch of fruits to take with her.

Nothing had changed at the Kourindou since the last time she had been there. Rinnosuke was sitting behind the counter as always reading a book.

When Tokiko walked into the store he looked up and he mouthed a silent "Oh" in surprised when he realized who it was.

Rinnosuke "It's been a while."

Tokiko "I guess so."

It was her first time talking in ages.

In fact this may be her first conversation with Rinnosuke at all. Her first time facing him and speaking to him directly.

Being back inside the Kourindou made her remember the time before. Just as then her body was covered in wounds, her clothes were ragged, and barring her health she was in the same condition as when Rinnosuke had picked her up before.

Thinking about it like that, Tokiko couldn't help but smile.

It was in that moment that Tokiko knew she had finally formed a new memory.

After that Tokiko began to visit the Kourindou more frequently. If she stayed in her tree-home she had nothing to do, whereas the Kourindou had books and Rinnosuke would talk with her from time to time. At some point he began to offer her tea and snacks when she came.

It seemed there were quite a few more customers than one would think. Unfortunately that included Reimu, who never paid her tab; Marisa, who just took things outright; and Yukari who appeared from the shadows to mess with Rinnosuke. Compared to those others Tokiko may actually have been a preferred customer. Tokiko was quiet, didn't take things, and most importantly loved books - a trait that made Rinnosuke feel she must be a good person.

Keine came to the store on the weekends. The days when the human village children didn't have school.

Tokiko was surprised to discover that Rinnosuke knew such a beautiful woman.

Keine was surprised to discover that such a cute girl was coming to see Rinnosuke.

Keine had actually come while Tokiko was recovering at the Kourindou, but Tokiko had been asleep and Keine had been too busy thinking about Rinnosuke to realize the girl existed. They met for the first time when they both came to the store one weekend.

Tokiko had never seen anyone but Rinnosuke here, and Keine too had never seen anyone but Rinnosuke here, so when the two encountered each other they froze in place for a while. They were standing in place like statues when Rinnosuke - competely unaware of what was going on - called out to them and snapped them back to reality.

Tokiko guessed with a single look.

Keine was guarded against her. She just had that feeling. Keine smiled when she spoke to Tokiko, but Tokiko had a feeling that her smile and voice were different when Tokiko wasn't around.

Nevertheless to Tokiko's eyes Keine was a beautiful woman. She could cook, clean, wash clothes, teach, and do any number of things that Tokiko could not. Tokiko was jealous of her. Keine also taught children in the village, so to Tokiko she was the image of a capable book-reading adult woman.

But now they were both married to Rinnosuke. They had become equals. But still Tokiko wasn't sure if she should be standing beside Rinnosuke as a woman. She could read books, but she wasn't particularly good at learning, her cleaning skills were lacking, and she was still learning to cook from Keine. She was hardly qualified to be a wife.

If she was going to stand alongside Rinnosuke she should be more capable, so she had begun to practice in an attempt to catch up to Keine, but she was far from her goal. The things that Ran had taught to Keine would take a great deal of time for Tokiko to learn on her own.

At the time she had gone along with everyone else and accepted the ring and marriage proposal, but now she couldn't stop thinking that she didn't deserve to be with Rinnosuke. With that doubt constantly filling her mind she couldn't bring herself to wear the ring he had made, so it sat atop her desk.

Several years had passed since Tokiko began living at the Kourindou. It had begun with her reading too late and it getting dark or a sudden storm making it dangerous to return home, so Rinnosuke had set up a bed for her to stay the night. But each time it happened he would have to move things around and get the futon out, so eventually he said "Why don't you just live here?"

Tokiko (I guess that was the start.)

After that Tokiko's home changed from a lonely hole in a tree to the Kourindou. For a while she did just as before, reading constantly and occasionally helping around the store. Stacking and sorting goods or watching the store while Rinnosuke went to Muenzuka.

A while after Tokiko began sleeping in the Kourindou Rinnosuke built her bedroom. He built the second floor of the Kourindou - originally a one-story building. Rinnosuke made the construction blueprints, prepared the materials needed, and constructed everything entirely on his own. He even had to open a hole in the roof of the store to put in the staircase. But having already constructed the Kourindou on his own, adding on a second floor was child's play for Rinnosuke. It took him about ten days in total.

The new staircase lead to a corridor, at the end of which was a fairly large room. The room was already furnished with furniture and was ready to be lived in as soon as the construction of the second floor ended.

It made her happy.

Tokiko (I really was so happy then...)

The materials gathered from the Muenzuka were scraps and trash, but they looked as beautiful as brand new materials with the added bonus of having a gentle familiarity from long use. The chair was comfortable to sit in for long periods, the desk could be adjusted to suit Tokiko's height, and the clothing was all cute.

If asked if her life had changed since getting married, Tokiko wouldn't be able to say that it had. Rinnosuke wasn't around much due to the construction, true, but Keine still came by to cook dinner as usual or left food in the refrigerator for Tokiko to reheat. Most of the people that Tokiko knew were also married to Rinnosuke now, so while they didn't come around the store much it had nothing to do with her being married to Rinnosuke.

In other words the only thing that had changed was Tokiko's feelings. And there was nothing anyone else could do about that. Not even Rinnosuke and Keine, who were practically her family.

She would have to resolve this uncertainty on her own.

And she knew that. Unfortunately knowing didn't make doing it any easier.

Tokiko "I wonder if this is the marriage blues they talked about in that book... But isn't that more for someone about to get married?"

Marriage blues.

It was a sudden onset of anxiety and depression that people about to get married experienced. It was caused by doubts about the marriage and if you were really meant to be together, or if you would be happy together, or if you'd be able to properly raise children together. Some people were so overwhelmed by these doubts about the future that they would end up canceling the marriage altogether. It seemed that in recent years some people experienced this after having already gone through with the marriage.

There was no treatment or cure for this.

The methods for handling it varied from person to person. Exercising, eating well, soaking in a hot bath, distracting yourself with fun things, etc. Essentually finding something to focus on instead of the doubts and fears.

However Tokiko couldn't get relief from any of it. She didn't want to exercise, she already ate well every day, she bathed, and she read books to distract herself, but the distraction never lasted for long.

Marriage blues were caused by thinking too much, so not thinking about the future and letting the doubts build was the best way to make it stop. However the more Tokiko tried to stop thinking the more the doubts grew.

At this point there was nothing anyone else could do to help her.

It was her problem, and it was an entirely emotional problem, which meant she would have to resolve it on her own. The problem was that she couldn't figure out how to resolve it.

What finally pulled Tokiko out of the maze of her mind was thinking of the tree that she had once lived inside.

Tokiko "That's right... since living here I haven't gone back to look at it even once. I wonder what's happened to it."

She had brought her things back from there when she began to live at the Kourindou, but it wasn't as though she had many possessions to begin with.

Tokiko "I guess I'll go look. Not like any customers are going to come anyways."

She got up out of her bed and made her way out of the Kourindou for the first time in a while.

Tokiko "Aah, it's so bright."

Going from the dim depths of her room out into the brilliant light of the sun left her blinded.

Taking a deep breath of the fresh air left Tokiko feeling somewhat refreshed.

She did some gentle stretches and opened the wings that had been closed tight against her back. She'd spent so much time in her bed lately that her bloodflow had been kept only at the bare minimum, so now she stretched and ruffled her wings to get a fresh surge of blood circulating throughout. As proper sensation returned to her wings she began to look more like her real self.

The majority of those in Gensoukyou could fly, and oftentimes those with wings didn't actually need them to fly. But Tokiko preferred to move her wings to fly. It felt more like true flight that way.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Breathing it out slowly, she took another deep breath and began to float. Her feet began to drift away from the ground and when she felt that she could no longer reach the ground...

Tokiko "Okay."

She opened her eyes and flew forward powerfully.

Even though she had been shut up inside of the Kourindou for quite a while she didn't feel tired from flying at full speed. She felt like she must have run into a fairy or sprite along the way, but it was likely just her imagination.

Tokiko "There it is..."

She came upon the tree she had lived in and found that it looked just the same as before. The roots and trunk were thick, the branches leafless. It showed no signs of rot or decay - it was still very much alive. She wasn't sure if it had always been without leaves or if it had stopped growing them some time before she first came across it.

Her rain-collection pool was still there, but now flowers had begun to grow around it. If she looked around she was sure she could find the same edible mushrooms and fruits as before.

Tokiko "Hm... Mmf..."

She began to climb the tree. When she had first come to live here she hadn't been accustomed to the feeling of flying, so she had been forced to climb. She could fly now, but she climbed to remember how it felt in the past. A short way above the ground was the cavity in the tree which had been her home.

Tokiko "Got it."

The hole was there just as she remembered. It was filled with leaves and trash that had been blown in over the years of her absence. It was a pain, but she cleaned the refuse out to reveal the cavity she had slept in.

With the cavity opened once more she attempted to climb inside.

Tokiko "Mm... mmmm~~!"

It was difficult. She had slid right inside in the past. Perhaps she'd gained some weight.

She eventually managed to crawl inside of the hollow in the tree, but she really must have gained weight because it was a tighter fit than she remembered. It was easier to lay down than to try to sit, so she lay down in the hollow. She lay on her back with her hands behind her head as a pillow and an animal skin as a blanket. The skin was the hide of a dead bear that she'd found and skinned. She'd eaten what she could of the bear, but leaving the hide to rot felt like a waste so she'd kept it as a blanket. It reeked of blood and she despised it - so much so that the blanket she had at Rinnosuke's house was one of her most beloved possessions. The smell never went away so she woke each morning smelling of old blood. She would go wash herself off each day to try and remove the stench, which had put her at risk of getting sick more than once. The hide was still in the hollow.

Thanks to the hide she had managed to endure the cold, but she had never quite adjusted to being alone. When the moon was out it glowed brilliantly in the sky, and when it was a new moon she had loved watching the stars shine from her hollow.

The worst nights were the cloudy, silent nights. There were no stars, no moonlight, and no sounds at all. On those nights she wrapped herself in the hide and waited for morning.

She had been truly alone. Even the slightest sound on those nights would make her begin to panic. It was so bad that she actually preferred when it stormed.

Tokiko "Actually, this is fairly close..."

The sun was still out, but nobody was around, the forest was silent, and she was huddled inside of her hollow wrapped in the clothes Rinnosuke had made her from an animal pelt. The air was still, so without even the rustling of leaves it truly felt like she was experiencing one of those nights.

Tokiko "But why did I end up living in Rinnosuke's house..."

Her life in the forest had been rough, that much was certain. There had been times where she had no food, and she had struggled to remain clothed. She was completely alone, but she still knew that her lifestyle in the forest was hardly normal.

Rinnosuke had no idea how she had lived during that period. She'd never told him, and he had never asked. So how had she ended up living with him? She hadn't asked him.

Tokiko "Hm?"

She rolled over as she pondered and her eye caught on something.

Tokiko "What is that...?"

Small grooves in the wood that looked to be a carving of some sort. The tree's growth had made them faint, but by wetting the wood with some saliva the area darkened and the carving began more apparent. After rubbing her finger over the carving and squinting her eyes she realized what it was.

Tokiko "Ah..."

It was a humanoid form.

She realized what it was immediately.

Tokiko "Rin...nosuke..."

She remembered.

It was during a series of cloudy nights. She felt as if she was losing her mind from the cold and loneliness. The only person she could remember was Rinnosuke. That Rinnosuke had come sat next to her as she shivered. He had simply read a book, but just having him nearby was enough. It was enough to make the shaking stop and ease the loneliness crushing her heart so she could sleep. She woke in the morning to find that Rinnosuke was nowhere to be seen.

There was no way that Rinnosuke had come to this tiny hollow. She knew that. It was a dream or a hallucination, but it had still made the loneliness leave.

While the sun was up she had carved an image of Rinnosuke into the wood. Her memory wasn't great, but Rinnosuke was the only person she knew, so his face stood out. The size of his eyes, the shape of his nose, his hairstyle... she had carved every detail she could remember into the wood. She didn't have any tools for this, of course, so she'd used her own fingernails to carve. She remembered her fingernails ripping and tearing as she went, but she hadn't stopped. By the time she finished several of her fingers were bleeding, but the pain seemed to make it more worthwhile.

After that day she wasn't alone. When she went to sleep Rinnosuke was always by her side. Even on the nights when it was pitch black, she knew that Rinnosuke was there to keep the fear at bay.

Tokiko "...Ah! That's righ- OW!"

She sat up quickly and hit her head on the tree.

Tokiko "Owww... That's right, I remember now! Rinnosuke asked if I would live at the Kourindou..."

At the time she had gone to the Kourindou several times and stayed late each time, not wanting to return to the tree, and eventually Rinnosuke said:

Rinnosuke "If you like it here so much, why don't you just live here?"

Tokiko "Is that okay? I can't do anything, and I don't remember anything."

Rinnosuke "Sure, why not. You don't take stuff or cause a fuss like Reimu and the others. And it's just me here, so having a girl like you come live here wouldn't change much."

She remembered feeling it clearly. She had been spiraling through lonely darkness for so long, but now a single beam of light appeared. When she took his hand the warmth of it melted her frozen heart.

Tokiko "Haa... what am I doing."

The same left hand she had used to take his hand back then now bore her wedding ring.

She wasn't the same girl from back then. She'd been living alongside Rinnosuke all this time, and now she was finally his family.

And yet she had been hiding in her room, neglecting the store, and had even come all the way back out here to wallow in her old wounds.

She owed Rinnosuke an apology.

Rinnosuke was working hard to build a new home for them. He'd entrusted Tokiko with tending to the store in his absence. Not Keine, Ran, or any of his other wives - he'd chosen her. And he'd not given her a spare key as he had done with Keine and the others. He'd given her one of the two original keys.

Tokiko "...Okay!"

She took the hide and flew out of the tree hollow. The entrance to the hollow caught on her as she left, but she forced her way out roughly. The tree began to crack as the hollow widened.

She flew up a ways and stopped. She took the ragged hide and crumpled it into a ball, then set fire to it with her magic.

Tokiko "And that's... that!"

She lobbed the bundle of hide towards the tree, the flames engulfing it as it flew through the air.

The flaming pelt landed among the branches of the leafless tree and small flames immediately began to appear along the bark. Before long the tree was ablaze, assisted by the fats in the animal hide.

She watched from up in the sky as the fire began to roar as it consumed the tree.

Tokiko (This is okay. It's done.)

She was severing her ties to her past loneliness.

And she was distinguishing herself from how she used to be.

I'm not who I used to be. I'm not alone. I'm not lonely. I'm an adult and I have Rinnosuke as my wonderful husband.

As she watched the tree crumble into ash she felt something cold disappear from her chest.

She could feel it. She was capable of walking on her own now. Well, she was with Rinnosuke, so she wasn't truly on her own. She would be walking with Rinnosuke from now on. Well... with Rinnosuke and all of the other wives...? That was quite a pack of people to be walking with, but with so many people she was certainly not going to be feeling lonely any time soon. It sounded fun.

Tokiko "I need to get back to the store. Everyone else is doing what they're supposed to, after all."

She went back to the Kourindou and sat behind the counter.

It was her duty right now, and the first task that her husband had entrusted her with as his wife.