Sorry this took a while to update. Enjoy :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)
Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.
Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest
Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day
Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else
Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics
White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies
Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?
The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas
Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by Black Mage as a jackass
The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?
Zell- A goofy guy who is always getting himself into trouble, and is part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb
Auron- A ladies' man who gets the attention from a lot of girls, who is also part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb
Wakka- A beach boy who ends most sentences with "man" and "yah", and part of the...well, in short, "Earth Orb Recovery Team"
Quistis Trepe- A teacher at 8 Bit Academy who forms the Earth Orb Recovery Team who accompany the Light Warriors
Rinoa- A scout for Quistis
The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.
Lich - The King of Hell and Vilbert's father, he has power over life and death.
All the demons cracked their vicious whips. The poor souls who were unfortunate enough to have been sent to Hell were moaning and crying, remorseful of their sins, but unable to do anything about it. Fire was burning everywhere, and some of the most dreadful things that could possibly be imagined crept out of the large cracks in the ground. There was no water in Hell; it was pure pain and suffering. The head demon had his work cut out for him, but since he was a bit of a sadist, he enjoyed his job.
But now the head demon lost his spine, thanks to Black Mage. He watched as Black Mage walked off with his spine.
"So long, sucker," cried Black Mage, "I'm gonna love your job!"
Once Black Mage got past the Gates of Hell, he looked around him. The misery of all lost souls was in the air. An entire realm of pure evil, and now it was about to be under Black Mage's control. No sooner did he take another step when he was greeted by a group of demon officers.
"Hold it right there, newcomer," one of them said, "What are you doing outside the line?"
"Outside the line?" asked Black Mage, "Buddy, by the time I'm through with you and your little friends, I'm gonna be in charge of that line."
"I'd like to see you try," the demon replied.
"As you wish," responded Black Mage, blasting them all away with a cleverly aimed Hadoken.
"What can I say?" asked Black Mage, "They asked for it."
He proceeded towards the slave lines. Both the slaves and the slave drivers stared at him as he approached them. This time, Black Mage didn't even wait for anyone to speak a word. He simply ripped out one of their spines, and watched as the slaves ran away in fear and the slave drivers charged towards him, only to lose their own spines.
"Where do you slaves think you're going?" asked Black Mage.
He snapped his fingers and a pile of giant boulders came crashing down in front of the slaves, blocking a potential escape route. Black Mage rushed down and, through violent means, ripped out each and every one of their spines.
A few hours later, there was no one left but Black Mage with their spines in their bodies. No one was able to do anything about it. Black Mage crossed the stone walkway across the lava pool in the very center of Hell. He took a spot on his rightful seat, and looked across the entire realm. He was now the King of Hell, and he had the entire legion of devils under his command. It was all his now.
A few hours later, Lich King descended into Hell as well. He saw what damage Black Mage had caused, but despite that, he still did not see Black Mage as a major threat. He gathered all the demons he could find around him and was given their spines.
"I just happen to be a master bone craftsman," said Lich.
He immediately got to work restoring all of their broken spines to the way they were. It took hours to take broken spines and put them back together, plus giving the right spines to the right servants of the damned were a real pain, but it eventually got finished.
"Servants of the damned," cried out Lich, "You no longer need to serve the weak and pitiful Black Mage! All you must do is follow me into battle against him, and make me the King of Hell, and you will be restored in your former glory!"
The demons cheered loudly, accepting Lich as their new leader. Lich pointed towards the Throne of Hell, which Black Mage sat upon, and the demons charged towards it. Lich floated up in midair to watch the scene, surrounding himself with transparent red smoke.
"What's with the riot?" wondered Black Mage.
He saw an angry swarm of demons charging towards him, and then saw the Lich King through a thick cloud of red smoke. He knew now that they were trying to overthrow him. Lich was trickier than Black Mage had thought.
"Take THIS!" shouted Black Mage.
At the time, Black Mage could only use one Hadoken per day (this was before the days of the Academy), and he had already used it earlier. But since he was the King of Hell, he had much more power than he did before. All he did was lift his hand and the ground lit aflame. Some demons were burning, others were unaffected. Black Mage then slammed his hand down on the ground. From his fingers, cracks formed in the ground, splitting open and sending demons falling down.
The demons were easy to take care of, even though there was still an army of them. It was when Lich King came face to face with Black Mage that things got tricky.
"How can they be moving if I removed their spines?" asked Black Mage in surprise.
"Easy," replied Lich, "I'm a master bone craftsman, and I know how to do these things. Your time as the King of Hell is up!"
"Big talk, bonehead," said Black Mage, "That's what's called a zing, by the way."
"Big talk, you say? We'll see about that!"
Black Mage was thrown off his feet by Lich's surprise attack. Lich had put his hand through a cloud of mist and it came out from behind Black Mage in this throne. The hand grabbed Black Mage and threw him forward. Once Black Mage got back on his feet, he raised both his hands, which sent an upward shower of boulders everywhere. Unfortunately, Lich was easily able to dodge all of these.
"Die, damn you!" cried Black Mage.
"I'm undead, you idiot!" shouted Lich.
"So am I, but I'm the freaking King of Hell, so there!" said Black Mage.
"Not if you're back in your human vessel, you can't," said Lich.
"What does that…AAAHHH!" cried Black Mage.
Lich began to choke Black Mage. His grip on Black Mage was too powerful. Lich began to float up out of the depths of Hell and back up to the surface where Black Mage's dead body was still in a dark cave with skulls and bones. It smelled bad, too.
"That was a pretty dick move, by the way, ambushing me when I'm alone," said Black Mage.
"I'll remember that," said Lich.
Lich threw Black Mage back into his body. Black Mage was once again human. His days as the King of Hell were over. Lich took his place as the King of Hell.
"So basically, long story short," explained Black Mage, "Lich pulled a dick move on me, and now I want revenge."
"So you want to confront death itself," said Thief, "I wonder if that should be called bravery or stupidity."
"Don't do it, Black Mage!" exclaimed Fighter, "He'll kill you again!"
"Not this time, he won't," said Black Mage, "I've gotten a lot more powerful since our last encounter, so I don't think he'll be a problem for me this time."
"I dunno about that, Black Mage," said Quistis, "You may be more powerful, but Lich has power over life and death, and is the King of Hell!"
"So was I at one point," said Black Mage, "But he ain't gonna be King much longer!"
"He's not so right in the head, is he?" asked Auron.
"He's absolutely nuts," replied Red Mage.
"That explains so much of what he says and does," observed Zell.
"Well, if he and the Dark Warriors have the Earth Orb, then we have no choice but to head in their direction," proclaimed Thief, "Onward!"
The others followed behind Thief, with Quistis and Rinoa in the back.
"What makes him the leader?" asked Rinoa.
"A sad story of a bunch of idiots who listen to writing on paper," replied Quistis.
Perhaps I should work a little more on my sword chucks idea, thought Fighter.
"Seriously, what is Garland doing?" asked Drizz'l.
"He said he was preparing a 'warm welcome' for the Light Warriors," replied Vilbert.
"Garland saying 'warm welcome' can only mean one thing," said Drizz'l.
Drizz'l and Vilbert walked down the hallway and made a left into the strangely beautiful kitchen. The floors were shiny clean, mainly because it was made of tile, unlike everything else, which was made of stone. Garland was wearing a pink apron and held a plate in his hands.
"He's making cookies for the Light Warriors, just as I thought," said Drizz'l, stating the obvious.
"Well of course!" said Garland, "It would be rude not to feed them! I just hope they like vanilla cookies, because we ran out of chocolate chips."
"We ran out of chocolate chips because you used them for the last batch of cookies you made," said Drizz'l.
"Though they were quite tasty," added Vilbert.
"Regardless, giving cookies to the enemy will give them a bad impression," said Drizz'l.
"How?" asked Garland, "I thought serving cookies would give them a great impression!"
"You and I have different interpretations of 'impressions', Garland," said Drizz'l.
Out of nowhere, Lich appeared in between Garland and Drizz'l, and raised his right hand to command their attention.
"Will you stop this foolish bickering?" asked Lich, "The Light Warriors are on their way as we speak, and you're wasting time over…cookies?"
"Vanilla flavor," said Garland, "Secret family recipe."
Lich took one and chewed on the cookie with his rotten boney teeth.
"This…is…delicious!" he exclaimed, "It takes just like the impure souls of the worst sinners mixed with the blood of all the whores who…"
"That doesn't sound anything like how it tastes," said a confused Garland, "I make my cookies with love…and eggs, and sugar, and of course, vanilla."
Bikke came running into the kitchen, panting and out of breath.
"Bad news, ye landlubbers!" he shouted, "Those pesky Light Warriors be on their way!"
"Excellent," hissed Lich with an evil grin, "Now we'll show them what we've got!"
To be continued...