Of course Shou-chan has to comment on Kazunari's admittedly-less-polished-than-usual appearance when he finally gives it up and heads into work early. He leans over the bar and inquires, "Is there trouble in paradise?"

"There is no paradise," Kazunari says, flat. "Paradise is over and done with, and I'm really not in the mood to talk about it, so can we just not do this? As a special favor to me?"

Shou-chan whistles. "Guess that answers my question. You all right? Is it time for me to break out the booze I stocked up on?" Kazunari shoots a look at him that makes him hold his hands up. "Okay, stupid question, forget I asked."

"I will," Kazunari tells him before heading down the bar to assist Nijimura with a flock of guys just coming off the dance floor and looking to slake their thirsts.

Working is good; working is something that he can use to stop the relentless circle of his thoughts. Mixing drinks and keeping up a steady stream of patter to entertain everyone at the bar probably doesn't require all the focus Kazunari pours into it tonight, but so what? As coping mechanisms go, this one is pretty successful. Lucrative, too, both in terms of selling drinks and in terms of collecting tips and phone numbers scrawled on bar napkins. The money is probably the only thing that's worked out well for Kazunari all day; he'll get rid of the phone numbers later, discreetly, because that's the last shitty decision that he needs to be making right now. It helps that it's a busy night, the way Fridays always are. It also helps that Shou-chan honors his request and doesn't bother him for all the gory details. Instead he holds court at his end of the bar and trades caustic comments with Nijimura whenever they happen to be in earshot of each other. That's always fun to listen to, anyway, and it keeps people at the bar to enjoy the show, which is also excellent for business. Kazunari can totally work with that. By the time the crowd is at its height, Kazunari is close to dead on his feet, which is what he wants. Part of it is the long day and the nap he missed, and part of it's the level of energy it takes to maintain his focus for so many hours at a stretch, and the rest is just the emotional wringer he's been through. It's good, though. He doesn't have to wonder whether he's going to be able to sleep whenever he gets off work.

He's in the middle of checking in with Nijimura about what needs to be pulled from the back when he sees Shou-chan sit up straight, frowning. Kazunari knows what he's going to see even before he follows Shou-chan's stare to where Shintarou is coming down into the club. "What the fuck," Kazunari says, because seeing Shintarou when the guy has only just promised to leave him alone feels like taking a fist to the gut.

Nijimura looks, too, and grunts in comprehension. "You want me to throw him out?"

It's certainly a tempting thought; there's definitely a part of Kazunari that wants Nijimura to call for their bouncer, would enjoy seeing Murasakibara toss Shintarou out on his ear. But if he indulges himself, there won't be any way of finding out what the everloving fuck Shintarou is playing out. "Let's keep that option in reserve," Kazunari says, grim. "Be out back, boss."

Nijimura nods. "Yell if you need me." He moves off purposefully, catching Shou-chan before he can leave his seat and intercept Shintarou.

Kazunari lets himself out from behind the bar and heads for the back, not bothering to check to see whether Shintarou is following him or not. He's not entirely sure he cares, because he's humming all over with anger. Where does Shintarou get off, playing with him like this? He's supposed to be better than this—he's supposed to be one of the good ones who actually listen to and comply with the requests made of them. Kazunari was so sure that Shintarou was one of those guys, but here he is now—what's he doing here, gloating? Planning on leaning on him to change his mind? If he is, Kazunari really is going to call Murasakibara in. And he's going to enjoy the show.

As it turns out, Shintarou does follow him out the back of the bar, close enough on his heels that Kazunari doesn't have too much time to fume. "What are you doing?" Kazunari demands the moment Shintarou steps outside, before the door even slams shut behind him. "I thought you were going to leave me alone."

The door thumps shut behind Shintarou; he stops in the circle of orange light from the buzzing light bulb over the door. It casts strange shadows on his face, makes the lines and grooves of it harder, makes him look haggard. For once, it doesn't really move Kazunari to see him looking so tired. "There's something I need to tell you."

Kazunari folds his arms across his chest. "Yeah? What in the world could you possibly have to tell me that's so important you felt like you had to ignore what I asked you to do not eight hours ago?"

Shintarou wets his lips, opening and closing his hands at his sides. "I've ended my engagement, and I've explained to my parents why there won't be another one."

What? What? Kazunari stares at Shintarou; silence hangs in the warm summer air, thick as the humidity. He can't have heard that correctly. "You did what?"

Shintarou lifts his chin a little higher. "I'm not going to marry. My parents know that it's because I prefer men."

Maybe it's not just the way the light is falling across his face that makes him look so wrung out, after all. Kazunari stares at Shintarou, feeling as though he's been punched again. Why would Shintarou do something like that after it was too late? Why would he come here to tell Kazunari what he'd done? "Why would you do something like that?" he asks. It comes out strangled, breathless. "That's—do you realize what that's going to do to your career? To your life?"

"Yes." Shintarou looks aside and pushes his glasses up. His voice is quiet. "If I hadn't already known, I assure you that my parents made it extensively and painfully clear."

Kazunari steps back until he stumbles against the wall, comfortingly solid against his back. He leans against the building and still feels as though he's reeling. "Why would you do that?" he asks again, hoarse, trying not to think of what this could mean—no. No, he's not going to let himself go there. "Have you lost your mind?"

Shintarou huffs, soft. "My family seems to think I have." He draws a breath and squares his shoulders, lifting his gaze and meeting Kazunari's eyes. "You kept the charm I gave you, so I hoped… but I wasn't sure. The way you acted… well. I wasn't sure. Not until this evening. But the things you want—I want those things, too. I want them with you. It was an easy trade to make, after all."

It's a damn good thing he's already braced against a brick wall, because Kazunari's pretty sure he'd be sitting on the ground otherwise, and this alley isn't the cleanest in the world. "Shintarou—" His voice cracks; he has to clear his throat before he goes on. "You're joking. You've got to be joking." This isn't how the story goes, not for guys like him. Not for guys like Shintarou. There's no way he can be serious about this, no way he can actually think he really wants to upend his whole life for Kazunari's sake. It's just not possible.

"I'm not joking," Shintarou says, very quietly. "That night you sent me away, I went—and I was so miserable, but I believed you were right to do it. That it was for the best, even though it hurt. I thought that it would stop, eventually, but it never did. I hadn't realized how much I'd come to rely on you, and there were so many times I was on the verge of coming back here to beg you to reconsider…" He shakes his head and runs his hand through his hair. "I don't think you realize how different you are from everyone else in my life. You make me feel like I really am a part of the human race, did you know that? There have been times when I've wondered whether I was."

The enormity of what Shintarou is telling him is almost too much for Kazunari to comprehend, so he focuses on the one part of it that makes sense. "You must know an awful lot of stupid people," he says, not entirely steadily.

Shintarou smiles, sardonic. "That's what I used to think, but not in the sense that you mean it, perhaps." He shakes his head, dismissing that. "I was already on the verge of—this decision—when all I knew of you was what we had here. And then I walked into an office at work and you were there. I didn't need anything more than that. Not really. It seemed like fate…" His voice trails off for a moment. "When I saw that you'd kept the charm I'd given you, I knew it was."

"How could you assume that?" Kazunari objects, shaking his head, because it's such a ludicrously thin thread to hang a hope on. "I told you—"

"I know when you're faking it," Shintarou says. "I know, Kazunari. After that…" He shrugs. "I waited."

He says it so easily, like it was as simple as waiting in a line, when the past few weeks have been hell on earth as far as Kazunari is concerned. "And you couldn't have said something?"

"I knew what I wanted," Shintarou tells him; his voice is quiet and very certain. "I wasn't as sure that you knew what you wanted. Whether you were sure you wanted to get over—" He waves a hand, gesturing between them. "—this, or not."

And because he was Shintarou, and not certain, he waited for a sign to indicate how he should act, one way or the other. Of course he did. "You jerk, do you have any idea what this has been doing to me?" Kazunari demands, though he can't quite muster the amount of heat the question really deserves. Maybe he'll be able to work up a proper head of steam later, but… not right now.

Shintarou smiles, small and subtle. "Nothing it hasn't been doing to me." He clears his throat. "If you'll forgive me for that… I would like to try again. Would you?"

Kazunari stares at him and bites down on his lip until it stings, and he convinces himself that this is real. It takes a moment for him to be able to speak. "Yeah," he says, throat tight. "Yeah, I'd really like that."

They stand for a minute, looking at each other; afterwards, Kazunari never can decide which of them moved first. It's entirely possible that they both move at the same time. All that Kazunari knows is that he has to get his arms around Shintarou, and Shintarou seems to feel the same way. They meet in the middle of the alleyway, colliding with each other. Objectively speaking, it's a horrible kiss—they manage to click their teeth together in their haste, and Kazunari feels his lip sting like it's split, but that doesn't slow either of them down. Kazunari wraps his arms around Shintarou, tangling his fists and kissing Shintarou desperately. Shintarou sinks his fingers into his hair and holds him close, returning his kisses with equal fervor, until they're both breathless and Kazunari is dizzy from the lack of oxygen, or maybe just with how glad he is to stop pretending that this isn't everything he wants most in the world.

Eventually Kazunari remembers that he's still on the clock, reluctantly, though he hates the thought of going back inside. That's not wholly due to the fact that he and Shintarou have been making out like teenagers, either. He has absolutely no chance of getting by without accounting for himself to Shou-chan and possibly also Nijimura. Given the note he left them both on, the only question is going to be whether he's going to be able to talk fast enough to explain before Shou-chan cuts Shintarou dead with a glance.

Well, there's no helping it. He's going to have to face the music at some point; he might as well get it over with. "I need to go back to work," he tells Shintarou, murmuring the words into his mouth. "Maybe before Nijimura sends a search party looking for me."

Shintarou makes a discontented sound and makes no move to release him. "Do you really have to?"

"Yeah, I really do," Kazunari says. "It's Friday night, you saw how crazy it was in there." It amazes him that Nijimura managed to keep up with the crowds all by himself for as long as he did. He begins the process of untangling himself from Shintarou. "Come inside, I'll make you a drink." He smiles at Shintarou. "If you're lucky, I might even let you take me home."

"I do have today's lucky item with me," Shintarou says softly.

Kazunari laughs and steals one last kiss from him. "That sounds like a good sign to me." He steps back, at least as far as he can make himself go—he can't make himself let go of Shintarou's hand, not yet, so it's not that far. "All right, here goes."

After the relative quiet of the alley, the din of the club is almost overwhelming. Kazunari catches Shintarou's little grimace and squeezes his hand, and it melts away as easily as that. Kazunari squeezes his hand one final time before he lets go to duck behind the bar.

"I hope you don't expect to get paid for that half hour," Nijimura says, phlegmatic. "Now get back to work. I need a couple of gin fizzes."

"Sure thing, boss," Kazunari says, because what's half an hour off his paycheck compared to the fact that right now, he's got everything he wants?

Nijimura glances at him, sidelong, while Kazunari sets out a shaker and starts his pours. Then he shakes his head and gets back to what he was doing without saying another word. Kazunari privately suspects that it's not that the man doesn't have any curiosity so much as it is that he knows Shou-chan will tell him all about it later.

Shou-chan certainly is watching Shintarou insinuate himself into the crowd around the bar and claim a stool for himself the moment its previous occupant gets up. He's frowning and shooting glances back and forth between the two of them, and it's just too bad that Kazunari needs to be mixing drinks instead of answering questions. Shou-chan must come to the same conclusion; Kazunari looks down to strain a drink into its glass; when he looks up, Shou-chan is up and threading his way through the crowd, heading for Shintarou.

Crap.

Kazunari goes for sugar and the mint and makes Shintarou's mojito as quickly as he can. He manages to get it into Shintarou's hand right before Shou-chan reaches him. "You're gonna need this," he says while Shou-chan deftly inserts himself into the gap at Shintarou's elbow. "Shou-chan, don't break him. I'm planning on keeping him, okay?" That's about as much as he cares to say out loud in this crowd; with any luck, Shou-chan will catch his meaning from that alone.

Shou-chan flashes another quick look between the two of them. "Are you, now? That's a neat trick."

"Seriously," Kazunari says, sharper than he intends, but it gets Shou-chan's attention. "It's okay. Everything's okay."

Shou-chan looks at him, intent, and then raises his eyebrows. "You don't say." He turns that intent look on Shintarou, and Kazunari can't blame him for looking hunted. "You fascinate me." He flaps a hand at Kazunari. "Run along now, I'll be careful with him."

"You had better be," Kazunari says. Then he goes to deal with the most impatient-looking cluster of patrons, hoping that Oha-Asa has predicted good things for Cancers today.

There's far too much noise in the bar for him to be able to tell what Shou-chan and Shintarou are talking about, but Kazunari can read their body language just fine. Shou-chan's lounging on his tool, deceptively casual about it, and Shintarou's wary at first, then maybe intimidated. Kazunari has to tend to his customers for a bit at that point, and loses track of the two of them while he's doing it. When he checks in again, Shintarou is sitting bolt upright and his mouth is tight—outrage or just anger? Kazunari can't decide and knows full well that it could be both. He knows how Shou-chan can be, after all. The man is just incredibly gifted that way. Whatever Shintarou says to Shou-chan then is curt, and—Shou-chan laughs. He's sitting up and clapping a hand on Shintarou's shoulder by the time Kazunari works his way back over to the two of them. Shintarou is frowning, though his confusion shows in his eyes. "I told you to be careful with him," Kazunari snaps at Shou-chan.

He could have saved his breath; Shou-chan just grins at him. "Don't you think I was?" he drawls. "Calm down, brat. He's fine." He glances at Shintarou, his smile turning crooked. "It's enough to make a man wonder whether there's something to this fate thing after all." He slides off his stool with that and strolls out to the dance floor without bothering to excuse himself.

Kazunari exhales, and Shintarou resorts to his drink. Then he turns to Kazunari, and his expression says that he's hoping for an explanation. Kazunari shrugs at him, helpless. "Shou-chan's been a friend for years," he says. "He gets protective."

He's not sure whether that'll be enough explanation, but Shintarou's expression clears. "I see."

Kazunari can't help smiling at him, at least until Nijimura passes behind him and pokes him in the ribs while yelling at him to get back to work.

The great thing about being busy is that it makes the time fly past—Kazunari doesn't know how Shintarou feels about the time he spends waiting for last call, but he doesn't seem to mind. Every time Kazunari snatches a moment to check in with him, he's watching Kazunari at work, wearing one of his small, quiet little smiles. Every time, they make a little curl of warmth unfurl in Kazunari's chest.

For some reason, people do a lot of smiling in his direction for the rest of the night. It doesn't click for him why that might be until Nijimura finally rolls his eyes and says, "Okay, get the hell out of my bar before you two give me cavities." He snorts at Kazunari's surprise. "If I have to watch the two of you making eyes at each other for another minute, I'm going to go into diabetic shock." He points at the door. "Out."

It's late enough that the crowd has thinned out, so Kazunari doesn't waste any time second-guessing the order. "Fine by me. See you tomorrow night." Technically, he'll see Nijimura later in the day, but he's long since found it's best to keep the days separated as much as possible. He strips out of his apron and gets out from behind the bar; Shintarou joins him readily enough that Kazunari figures he's been just waiting for this. Kazunari takes his hand without even thinking about it, and they exchange smiles.

"Out!" Nijimura yells at them. Kazunari laughs, and they go.

"So," Shintarou says once Kazunari's clocked out and they're outside. "You said something earlier about me taking you home. May I?"

Kazunari smiles at him. "Yeah, you can." He laughs a little, just for the joy of it. "You certainly can."

Shintarou squeezes his hand. "Good. I'd like that."

Kazunari is just wondering about the logistics of this when Shintarou adds, "I've parked a block over." Which solves that problem rather neatly.

They throw Kazunari's bike into the back seat, and Kazunari tackles the next question himself. "Your place or mine?"

The light in the car isn't great, but he can see well enough to catch Shintarou's wince. "I think I would prefer your place," he says. "I would rather not be surprised by my parents, come morning." There's a lot he's not saying; it hangs in the air, heavy as a thunderstorm on the horizon.

Kazunari takes a breath. He'd forgotten, briefly, that everything has its cost. "Was it bad?"

Shintarou sighs and puts the car into gear. "It was not pleasant." He might be trying to pass it off casually, but his tone is a little too bleak to make it work.

Kazunari reaches over and lays his hand on top of Shintarou's. "I'm sorry."

Shintarou glances at him; the dashboard lights highlight his little smile. "I'm not. He'll come around."

"Be crazy not to," Kazunari says, tucking that away for later consideration. But Shintarou doesn't really seem to want to talk about it, so he lets the topic drop for the time being. "Okay, turn left up here at the light."

It's a quiet ride over to his apartment, but Kazunari doesn't mind that. The silence is companionable, and he's with Shintarou. It doesn't mean that everything's going to run perfectly for them after this, but they've got a shot. What more can anyone ask than that?

"It's not much," he apologizes as he lets Shintarou into his apartment and flips on the lamp. "But the rent's cheap and the location is pretty good for me, so…"

Shintarou doesn't really even look around. "It's perfect," he says quietly.

It's enough to go to a guy's head, really, Kazunari thinks as he takes Shintarou's hand again. "Let me show you around," he says, as if Shintarou can't see perfectly well that there's only the one room, with Kazunari's bed peeping out from behind the screen that separates it from the rest of the room.

Shintarou inclines his head gravely, almost courtly about it. "Please do."

Laughter bubbles up in Kazunari's throat, the kind of giddy laughter that comes of not quite believing that something wonderful is real. "To your left, the kitchen," he says grandly, which is giving his little kitchenette way more credit than it deserves. He gestures. "To your right, my living room, study, and recreation room."

Shintarou glances down and raises his eyebrow. "All that in one table?" he inquires, straight-faced.

"We're very into multitasking around here," Kazunari says, airy. He draws Shintarou forward a few steps. "And, of course, here we have the master bedroom." And thank goodness that he made time the other day to change the sheets on the bed.

Not that Shintarou is looking at the bed; he has his eyes on Kazunari. The way he's smiling, all soft and private, puts a strange little flutter in Kazunari's stomach. It's not as though he has reason to be shy with Shintarou, who knows more of his secrets than anyone else Kazunari can think of, but there it is nonetheless. He takes a breath. "So. That's the grand tour. And here we are."

"Here we are," Shintarou agrees, softly, stepping closer and reaching for him.

Kazunari sighs and reaches back, sliding his arms around Shintarou's shoulders and meeting his kiss halfway. It's not urgent, not the way it was earlier. Now it's easy to lean into Shintarou and twine his fingers in Shintarou's hair as he parts his lips for the sweep of Shintarou's tongue, easy to savor the slow movement of Shintarou's mouth on his, just as sweet as he remembers it being, even when he was trying his hardest to forget. Shintarou strokes his hands down Kazunari's back, following the line of it down to his hips and pulling him closer. Kazunari is happy to do it; he spreads his hands against Shintarou's shoulders, humming into his mouth with the lazy unfurling of the heat between them. Shintarou hums too and drags his lips along Kazunari's jaw. "I've missed you," he says, soft against Kazunari's ear. "I've missed you so much." He presses his lips against the place just below Kazunari's ear, where the skin is most sensitive, and brushes his tongue over it when Kazunari groans. "Tell me what you want?" He shapes the words against Kazunari's throat. "Tell me what you'd like."

His voice is curiously intent, but the little ripples of sensation that run down Kazunari's spine with every brush of his lips make it difficult to figure out what Shintarou is thinking. He tilts his head to the side, kneading his fingers against Shintarou's shoulders. "You know I'm not that picky."

Shintarou tightens his hands on Kazunari's hips. "That's not really true, is it?"

Kazunari opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling without really seeing it as Shintarou's meaning sinks home—has it really been that long since he took a lover instead of a client to his bed? That long since he's had sex with someone without shaping the encounter to their tastes? He laughs, a little shaky. "You know, I'm not even sure?" That's not entirely true. He realizes it even as he says it. "I want to have you inside me. But you don't need to hurry."

Shintarou draws back and looks at him. "Is that all?"

Kazunari smiles at him and smoothes his thumb along Shintarou's jaw. "It's a good place to start, isn't it?"

Shintarou smiles back. "I suppose it is," he agrees, turning his face to nuzzle Kazunari's palm.

It sounds like a promise—no, it is a promise. Kazunari crowds against Shintarou, breathless with the enormity of that, and kisses him again as he slides his fingers down to loosen the knot of Shintarou's tie.

The business of getting undressed takes them longer than it really ought to, but then, how can it not when neither he nor Shintarou can bring himself to stop kissing or touching the other for more than a moment at a time? There's no hurry, anyway, no need to rush, not when they have all the time in the world now. Kazunari fills his palms with the texture of Shintarou's skin, relearning how warm and sleek it is, and Shintarou kisses him like he wants to drown himself in Kazunari's mouth.

By the time Kazunari manages to kick the last of his clothes off and they've begun to migrate the last few steps to his bed, he feels like he must be glowing with just how good it feels to have Shintarou's skin bare against his once again. He laughs against Shintarou's mouth when he feels the mattress hit the back of his legs. He lets himself fall backwards, bouncing a little before he squirms his way up the bed to lean back against the pillows.

Shintarou groans and shudders a little before he climbs onto the bed after him. "I can't believe how fortunate I am," he says softly, leaning over Kazunari and gazing at him with eyes that are dark.

"That makes two of us," Kazunari tells him, reaching up to pluck the glasses off his nose. "Come down here and kiss me."

Shintarou does, and Kazunari wraps his arms around him to draw him the rest of the way down, groaning as Shintarou's weight settles against him. He rolls his hips up into that welcome pressure; they both groan with the friction of that. Shintarou draws back from his mouth just far enough to say, "Where…?" and for Kazunari to answer, "Top drawer."

Kazunari groans again as Shintarou grinds against him while reaching over to the bedside table, groping through the drawer for the bottle of lube and the box of condoms Kazunari keeps there. He draws his knees up and spreads them wide, aching with how much he wants Shintarou. "I think I've changed my mind," he says while Shintarou is unwrapping the condom. He laughs, breathless, at the way this makes Shintarou freeze. "I don't think I want you to take your time after all."

"That wasn't funny—ah!" Shintarou's peevish tone melts into a moan when Kazunari plucks the condom from his fingers and unrolls it over his cock, taking the time to squeeze him gently. "Kazunari…"

"Come on," Kazunari says, stroking him slowly. "You're not going to keep me waiting, are you?" He hopes not, not when Shintarou is flushed and gorgeous over him and need is knotted tight and heavy in his belly.

"I should," Shintarou breathes, hoarse, but he's already slicking his fingers and reaching down, and oh, he hasn't forgotten a single thing about what Kazunari likes best. He catches at Shintarou's shoulders and groans when Shintarou presses those long fingers into him, stroking them in at just the right angle to slide over his prostate and send starbursts of sensation up his spine.

"Oh," he breathes, lifting his hips into the stretch of it, seeking more. "Oh, yes…" He's missed how careful Shintarou is, how detail-oriented and conscientious. "Shintarou, please…"

Shintarou shudders; his shoulders are tight beneath Kazunari's hands. He whispers Kazunari's name, husky and reverent, crooking his fingers until Kazunari arches into the rush of sensation.

Kazunari flails a hand out for the lube and slicks his fingers; he reaches for Shintarou's cock and strokes it. "Please," he says as Shintarou groans. "Please, I want you so much…"

Shintarou shudders again and bends to kiss him, open and hungry, shaping words against Kazunari's lips as he finally settles against him, sinking into him. Kazunari can't—quite—track what Shintarou is whispering to him, not when there's pleasure flaring up his spine. It doesn't matter—he can guess, and if he's right, it's nothing that Shintarou won't repeat later. For now he wraps himself around Shintarou, kissing him again and again and groaning with how good Shintarou feels sliding in and out of his ass, moving over him relentlessly, until Kazunari is on the verge of being washed away by the lapping waves of his pleasure. Then Shintarou reaches down and folds his fingers around him; Kazunari dissolves beneath the cascade of pleasure, crying out as it sweeps him down beneath its crest. He arches beneath Shintarou, straining against him, and feels Shintarou follow after him, shaking as his orgasm rolls through him.

They subside, lying tangled with each other and panting for breath. Kazunari can't quite open his eyes, too relaxed in the afterglow to muster the energy for it. Shintarou seems to feel the same way; after a minute or two he manages to press his mouth against Kazunari's throat, but that's as far as he goes. Kazunari hums to him softly and doesn't stir, even though they really ought to at least clean up a little. But it feels too good to lie like this, with Shintarou's skin warm against his, to bother with any of that yet. There's no rush, either. Not this time.

Kazunari smiles at that thought, and he's still smiling when he slips into sleep.

Most Saturdays, Kazunari doesn't wake up until his stomach or his bladder forces him to it. This Saturday, it's the angry growl of his stomach that finally wakes him. He does so to the feeling of Shintarou's fingers stirring through his hair. He's curled up around Shintarou, in fact, with his cheek pillowed on Shintarou's stomach.

That does more good in waking Kazunari up than a strong cup of coffee would. He raises his head and stares, stunned by the fact that Shintarou is in his bed, a little disoriented by this and absolutely pleased by it. "Hey," he says, vaguely aware that he must be smiling like an idiot.

Shintarou's smile is somewhat more dignified. "Good morning," he says. Then he corrects himself. "Rather, good afternoon." He sounds amused and actually chuckles softly when Kazunari groans in embarrassment and buries his face against his chest.

"Fuck," Kazunari says against Shintarou's pectoral muscles. "I can't believe I fell asleep like that. I'm so sorry—"

"I didn't mind," Shintarou tells him. He settles his fingers in Kazunari's hair again. "I like watching you sleep."

Kazunari peeks up at him. Shintarou's smiling and seems to mean it. "Do you really?"

"I really do." Shintarou pauses; his smile turns wry. "Especially when I have the right to do it."

The right to… oh. Oh. The night with the backrub and the unexpected nap. Kazunari clears his throat. "You, um… watched me?"

Shintarou colors a bit. "For… quite some time," he admits. "I didn't want to disturb you—of course, that was before I discovered how heavy a sleeper you can be."

Kazunari laughs and flails his way into sitting up—yeah, looks like Shintarou took care of the aftermath last night. Shintarou is the best. "Sorry—good grief, how long have you been awake?" Shintarou simply shrugs, declining to answer. "Geez, you should've woken me up."

Shintarou catches his hand and laces their fingers together. "I didn't mind," he says again. "Truly."

Kazunari suspects that he's wearing another of those stupid grins, and he can't even make himself care. "This is real, right? I'm not dreaming, am I?"

"I feel as though I should be the one asking that question," Shintarou says softly. He squeezes Kazunari's fingers. "I never thought I'd meet someone like you."

"Well, I didn't see you coming, either, so I guess we're even," Kazunari tells him. He raises Shintarou's hand so he can kiss his fingertips.

Shintarou's eyes go dark and he wets his lips. Kazunari grins at him, delighted by the reaction, but before he can act on it, Shintarou's phone buzzes. A grimace replaces the heat in his eyes. Then he picks up the phone and looks at the message, and his grimace turns pained.

"What is it?" Kazunari asks him, though he has a pretty good idea already.

Shintarou puts his phone aside. "I fear my parents may make things unpleasant for a time," he says, looking aside rather than meeting Kazunari's eyes. "If you would rather not—"

Kazunari reaches out and lays his fingers on Shintarou's lips, stopping him. "I don't care," he says. "They can be as unpleasant as they want. There's no way I'm going to give up on this…" A horrible thought occurs to him. "Unless you'd rather not put up with the grief—"

"No," Shintarou says, harsh. "No, this is—you're—I never thought—I never believed I'd find someone like you. Do you understand? I never though I could have anything even half as good as this. I'd be a fool to give it up for anything."

Kazunari has to swallow a couple of times before he can find his voice again; even so, it's a little hoarse. "Oh… Shintarou…"

It feels like it's a pitifully inadequate response, but Shintarou seems to understand all the things Kazunari can't quite manage to say. He smiles and reaches out, pulling Kazunari into his arms. Kazunari goes to him readily, wrapping his arms around Shintarou, and there is honestly no other place in the world that he can imagine wanting to be.