A Sip of Champagne, Half a Glass of Wine, And One Bottle of Merlot Later…
Hehehe… I had an Idea last night… What happens if Elsa gets DRUNK? So I typed this up. Some hurt-comfort and angst mixed in because I'm an emo loner half of my life and because now I'm straddling the line 'cause I failed my math test. :_(
On a happier note, thanks to all the reviewers! Your support is welcomed with open wings, and to IMADOLPHINLOVINGANIMEFREAK, OF COURSE you can use one of my ideas. I'm open.
THIS CONTAINS AN ELSA PARODY OF DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAN. ANY SIMILARITY TO OTHER PARODIES IS COMPLETELY COINCEDENTIAL.
Me no own Frozen.
"Alright. Anna, whatever you do, don't get excited and spill chocolate all over people like the last time we had a ball, and absolutely NO GOING NEAR THE DRINKS. We don't need a drunk Anna on our hands."
The redhead grinned, bouncing in place. "Same for you, sister. The last thing we need is a drunk queen with ice powers on our hands."
The queen slammed the door on her wardrobe and sighed in amused frustration. "Anna, the ball is for the common folk. Most of them like to drink. If I want popularity, I need to be prepared." She ran a hand through her loose platinum locks and snapped her fingers, turning the brand-new gown into one frosted in ice.
"OOO! Gerda will be soo mad!" Anna giggled. "She picked that one out herself!"
Elsa threw her hands up in defeat. "I like my ice dresses! Summer green is not my color!"
Anna slowly let a sly smile slip onto her face. "Or my rebelliousness is rubbing off on you."
Elsa gave her sister an arch look and began to do her hair. "Maybe."
"Here. Let me help you." Anna ran over and began braiding Elsa's hair. "We should start acting like sisters again. And sisters do take turns doing their hair."
Elsa lowered her hands, unsure. She'd always had done things by herself, and was unaccustomed to having another do something for her after thirteen years of isolation.
"There! Done!" Anna said proudly. "Now rise, my dear queen. Your party awaits."
Elsa smiled faintly and stood up.
Well, she tried to, anyways.
"Oww! Elsa, stop pulling my hair!"
"I am not pulling your hair!"
"Then why can't I…oh…"
"You braided our hair together, didn't you."
"…"
*sigh*
"So. This is what a party looks like."
"We already had this conversation, Anna."
"I just wanted to talk about it without the awkwardness, and the fighting, and the rejecting, and the ice-shooting…"
"I get it, Anna."
Both sisters stopped their conversation and looked out over the party. Townsfolk, farmers, peasants, you name it, were all bustling around the ballroom, laughing and shouting. Little kids played under the light snowfall that Elsa liked to use as decorations, scooping it up and throwing them at the adults. Anna had to duck to avoid an errant snowball and was immediately hit in the face with one that was supposed to hit Elsa but swerved around the queen and beaned Anna instead.
Anna wiped snow away from her face and playfully growled, "Oh, you are so gonna get it…"
"Who, me?" Asked Elsa, placing her hand on her chest in mock hurt. Mischief sparkled in her icy-blue eyes, contrasting with the innocent look on her face. "I didn't do anything…"
"Right… and a snowball just suddenly defied the rules of physics and did a 360-degree swerve to avoid me."
"Maybe the snowball didn't want to hit the queen in the face," offered Elsa. "Maybe it wanted to swerve politely around her and go on with its life and you just happen to be standing there."
Anna snorted. "Yeah, right…"She drifted off into the crowds, probably looking for Kristoff and planning some sort of evil revenge, if Elsa knew her sister.
She stepped off the dais (A/N: For lack of a better word) and began to roam the crowds. It was a better tactic of evasion than standing around looking regal, as Anna would easily find her there.
Then again, she was the only one wearing a dress made of ice.
Smiling gently, Elsa maneuvered through the masses, greeting random awed citizens and asking about their everyday life. It was both the easiest and most challenging aspect of her day; easy because all she had to do was to make small talk with people who were eager to share their stories with The Ice Queen (as she was commonly known), and hard because of the years of isolation and fear that had gripped her every day until she couldn't help but wonder if the smiles were enthusiastic masks that hid the townspeople's real feelings of terror and disgust and…
Calm down, Elsa, she chided herself. You don't have to worry about that anymore.
"Queen Elsa!" Elsa turned. A man staggered up to her, waving a half-empty wineglass in the air. "You must try this stuff! Best wine I've ever drunken!"
Elsa hesitated. By all her queenly training, it would be polite to accept the man's offer and drink with him. In fact, it was expected. But she knew that the wine that was chosen was exceptionally strong…and there were children about…
She glanced around. Most of the parents had gone home already. It was late at night, and most of the men lingering had already consumed a fair amount of alcohol, judging by the way they were staggering around like an Anna on a sugar high.
Maybe she should accept. He was staring at her expectantly…and she didn't want to insult anybody, not again…
She hesitated again, then gingerly took a glass.
"Hurry, Kristoff!" Anna pushed her way through the remaining partygoers impatiently. Most of them just blinked at her, too drunk to recognize the princess, or care about what her boyfriend was carrying.
Which was exactly how Anna wanted it.
"Ummm…. Why am I carrying a bunch of cream pies, again?"
"Because when we dump them on Elsa, they'll look like she snowed all over herself. And because cream isn't ice or snow of any sort, she can't repel them!" Anna giggled in a way that was decidedly evil. "It's perfect!"
Kristoff blinked at her slowly. "Ohhhkay. But I will not be responsible for the consequences of your actions."
"Elsa!" Anna ran up to her sister…and then stopped suddenly. Elsa was standing with a bunch of random citizens, all looking drunk, with a wineglass held loosely in one hand.
Anna frowned. "Now why would she…" Was this some of those rules of etiquette that she could never remember? That you had to drink with the guests? She shrugged. It probably was something like that. She honestly didn't know how Elsa remembered all that stuff. And if Elsa was to be believed (and she usually was a very reliable person) she learned it all from a book.
Anna shook her head. Reading. She never had the patience for the stuff.
Grabbing a pie from Kristoff, (who was cowering in a corner with his scarf over his head) she stalked up to her sister. "Hey, Elsa…." She said in a singsong voice. "I have something for you…"
Elsa turned. "Oh, hey, Anna." She seemed weirdly informal. Then she peered blearily at her sister. "I almost killed you…" she started giggling. "I almost killed you TWICE!" The giggling turned to laughter.
Anna frowned and slowly lowered the pie. What…? She looked closely at the glass Elsa held loftily in one hand. Then her gaze drifted to the bottles of wine lining the table.
Oh no.
"Elsa, you need a good, long rest." She reached slowly for the wineglass, but Elsa saw her.
"Catch me if you can!" Elsa darted out of Anna's reach and ran into a corridor, laughing like a madwoman (which she was).
"Drat." Anna groaned.
Because if there was one thing that could be said about Elsa, It was that she was hard to catch.
END OF PART ONE
Author's Note:
I decided to split this in two. Because pat two would be just as long, or probably even longer than part one.