Here we are again, and this is the last normal chapter. After this there is only the epilogue and I'm going to try and have it up for you all asap. Great news! Rod won Best Humor WIP in the Emerging Swan Awards so YAY for Ramblings of a Whipped Peen! Thank you all who voted! I hope you enjoy this and I'll try and hurry with the last Rod Pattinhead chapter ever. Sniff sniff! Sad to see him go but I'm moving on to the wonderful world of original fiction. I'll update my stories with info once it's published if anyone's interested in following me to the outside world.
XxTwilight CrystalxX, formerly preciousfairymom80, read this and loved it! Hope you all do too!
I only own the plot and Rod Pattinhead!
Ramblings of a Whipped Peen Chapter 10 – Legacy
Junior, I have to tell you something, son… I started out then took a deep breath and decided to let it all out since Junior and Masen were nervous wrecks, pacing the halls endlessly as Bree and Puss-in-law were busy screaming down the hall. Bella and Hot Puss were in there waiting for the doctor and anesthesiologist to arrive and give her the good shit so she'd quit threatening to cut Junior off for being the reason she was in pain.
I am so glad you weren't a puss. Son, pusses are crazy! They are I tell you! They can be sweet and loving and wet and dripping one moment and then you say the wrong thing and BAM! Suddenly they are as dry and unforgiving as the Sahara Desert and as nasty as a pissed off wasp! They will attack for no fucking reason! Now, that being said, pusses are what we peen live for. They were made for us and us for them. And I know you can't deny that you wouldn't do anything and everything for that little Puss-in-law just as I would for Hot Puss.
Now, that being said, if Puss-in-law pushes out a grandpeen for me then I want you to remember this conversation, and all of the ones I've given you throughout the years, and make me a proud Papa Peen. My Grandpeen would need to fill the thrusts of the legacy I started and you continued.
But, if Puss-in-law pushes out a grandpuss, then we are all in for a world of trouble because, as I told you, pusses are crazy! Plus, she'll never get any; I can assure you of that. No matter how much Hot Puss and Puss-in-law try and lobby for her to date, we'll put our brothers down and prohibit it. No Grandpuss of mine or Little Puss of yours will ever get poked by some rabid peen. We clear, Junior?
"Masen?" Bella's voice rang out in the waiting room, breaking up whatever discussion Edward and Masen had been having. "It's time, Bree's asking for you and the doctor will be in there soon."
Masen got up and Bella took his place, curling into Edward as she sighed.
"I'm not old enough to be a grandma," Bella whined as she put her head on Edward's shoulder and he chuckled in response.
"How do you think I feel? I'm the one with gray pubes," Edward countered and Bella started laughing at him, lightening the mood and moving conversation to back and forth teasing about how old each of them was.
It was two hours later when Masen finally reappeared, looking weary but smiling widely.
"Mom? Dad? Come on, they're waiting for you," he said, directing Edward and Bella down the hall. Bree's parents wouldn't be in town for a few days as they lived in Connecticut and Bree had delivered two weeks early. They had already scheduled a month visit from Bree's thirty-nine week mark to well past her due date, hoping to be there to see their first grandchild brought into the world. But, apparently my grandspawn couldn't be reasoned with and decided to come early, but that hasn't ever been a problem with me.
I felt Hot Puss glaring at me so I quit snickering, especially since we were about to walk in so I could meet my grandspawn.
We all walked into the room and there was a small bundle in the generic, multi-gendered blanket and hat so you didn't know if it was a boy or girl. But Masen quickly cleared up that question when he introduced us to the child.
"Mom, Dad, meet your granddaughter, Tanner Riley Cullen."
Bella and Hot Puss gushed over the little bundle of puss and even Edward looked overjoyed. In fact, everyone in the room appeared to be celebrating the fact that I had a Grandpuss! A Grandpuss! No, I was supposed to have grandpeens! They were supposed to carry on the legacy and I'll be damned if a grandpuss of mine will ever get near the legacy!
I lay there in my hammock, sulking while everyone else visited, laughed, cooed, and praised Masen and Bree for their little Tanner.
Hours later we all left and headed back home leaving Masen and Bree to enjoy Tanner privately. When we got home later that evening, I just wanted to sulk, but Bella, Hot Puss, and Edward had other ideas. I was rubbed against, massaged, and even licked, but I just wasn't into it like normal. Apparently Edward felt the slight disconnect too because later that night, while Bella slept, he and I wound up in front of the computer clicking through clips of old films we had done together.
I guess Bella either heard us or woke to find us gone because she appeared behind Edward, her arms wrapping around his neck.
"Whatcha doin?" she asked, her voice still thick with sleep.
"Nothing," Edward said quickly as he clicked off the website but it wasn't fast enough and Bella saw what we had been looking at.
"Trip down memory lane?" she asked with an amused look and Edward just shrugged while I hid my head from Hot Puss's stare.
"Not really..." Edward trailed off when Bella began laughing at him.
"Let me guess, you think you're old but you want to relive your glory days and you hoped to one day share them with a grandson like you did with Masen?" Bella asked and Edward and I both looked at her, shocked expressions on our faces. "Don't think I didn't know that you showed Masen your old porn videos to show him how it's done. I'm not stupid," Bella admonished both of us teasingly. Edward dipped his head to hide the smile that fought to escape.
"If it makes you feel better, since I know you are going to scare off any potential guy that Tanner attempts to talk to, Masen and Bree told me that they wanted more, several more, so your chances of getting a grandson are still there and you can pass on your legacy to him," Bella said the last part with a light laugh and Edward and I both brightened at the prospect of ensuring that the Cullen line of men would forever be masters in the bedroom. And speaking of, I was ready to remind Hot Puss who the best peen ever was.
"Now," Bella spoke, her voice changing to one laced with desire as she slid onto Edward's lap, her sleep shirt riding up to reveal her lack of panties underneath. Hot Puss was hovering right over me, wet and ready for me to fill her up. "Show me what exactly Rod Pattinhead can do," she said and Edward and I registered exactly what she called me three seconds later. Apparently Edward's face showed the shock he was experiencing by her calling me my secret name, the name one of our first girls gave me when she compared me to legendary porn star, Rob Pattinson.
"How do you know that name?" Edward asked her in a choked voice and Bella laughed as she pulled Edward's pants down, exposing me before sliding Hot Puss over me, completely shutting out light and burying me in the delicious warmth I would always desire.
"Girls talk, especially girls in the business, and there are multiple websites devoted to Rod Pattinhead, complete with close-ups, gifs, and videos of him in action. Sorry to inform you but they cut your face out of all of them and focus solely on Rod," Bella teased and I was fucking stunned. Entire websites, as in plural, devoted to me? Women around the world knew I existed and didn't care that I was attached to Edward or him to me? Women had pictures, gifs, and videos of me at work, in my prime, spreading my legacy worldwide? Fuck and yes! I cheered as Edward thrust me up into Hot Puss, coating me in her slick moisture, allowing me to reclaim my territory and storm the cervix like it was D-Day.
Moans, groans, grunts, and cries of pleasure filled the room as I filled Hot Puss repeatedly, reminding her of my legacy, showing her my love, and reveling in the puss that was made just for me. We had created sweet passion together, fucked like wild animals, fought, made up, and made the most precious creations in the world, Masen and Junior. We had Edward and Bella, Masen and Bree and Tanner, and eventually there would be more Cullens running around, filling the days and nights with love, laughter, and the continuation of my legacy. I couldn't have asked for more in my perfect peen world.
My life is complete.
Awwww! Rod's happy! Hopefully he'll get his Grandpeen eventually and, as I said above, there's only one chapter left. Hope to see you all soon!