Chapter 10:

Remembering What Has Not Happened

September 2016

duCygne Estate

"I take it nothing has happened yet?" Sirius asked as he left the kitchen and walked into the cloisters at the rear of the main house.

"You are quite correct," she sighed. "Perhaps I set the spell up incorrectly, and that's why Draco hasn't arrived yet. I think it speaks volumes to your cousin's general intelligence that she's using this spell to time travel with. Personally, I can think of at least four spells which are easier and for which the ingredient lists are shorter. Harry didn't have the same base to draw from, therefore he thought this spell was all that was available to him. Having been raised a Black, and lacking the sense of moral indignation at using sentient creatures to fuel a spell, Cissy could have found other ways to time travel."

"Well, as we are both aware, Cissy isn't particularly smart, nor cunning, nor even magically talented," he reminded as he handed her a glass of blush wine. While the region was known for its reds, the Blacks had cultivated some excellent white and blush grapes.

Taking the glass from Sirius, Anwen couldn't help but smile warmly at the memories of its creation. Not many wives were presented with a vintage named for them, in their favourite style, created from grapes grown on their land for their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary. The 2015 Voeu Eternel Beaujolais Rose was made by Sirius as a reminder of his wife's blush. Sirius felt a swell of her love and contentment and leaned down to kiss her behind her ear, then whispered, "Later love, the children are all in Scotland tonight."

Anwen and Sirius had an exceptionally large family, even by wizarding standards. Sixteen children - a mixture of naturally born and adopted, seven in-laws, two more soon-to-be in-laws, and twenty-one grandchildren. Thankfully only seven of their children were not yet of legal age, and of that number, three were at Hogwarts. The four youngest, Cassiopeia, 8, Alastair, 6, Josie, 5, and Chester, 7 weeks, were spending the night with their second oldest brother, Bastien and his wife, Emma Potter-Black and their three children. It was rare that Anwen and Sirius had a night alone, especially when they were in France. The French estate was the families' hub and each individual 'Black family' had its own house in the village, cottage on the property or room inside the main house. The successful creation of the Alarm Charm was vital to the plan to end the Time War. Then too would be her visiting of twenty-one different versions of herself in different timelines.

"Back to your thoughts on why Draco isn't here yet," Sirius stated, bringing his wife back from wherever her mental meandering had taken her. "You just need patience, little one. I'm sure all is fine. Knowing you as I do, you've probably insisted on checking and rechecking the steps and ingredients many multiples of times. You might only be twenty-two then, but you've been meticulous since you were thirteen."

"Very funny, dear," she replied to his gentle teasing and smirking grin. "You should also know that I'll worry until the boy arrives."

"He's not much of a boy, Anwen. He's the same age as Chrissie, and she's getting married in a few months."

"Yes, to a young man, who in another lifetime is still our son-in-law, but married to another girl, who is also our daughter," Anwen said with a moderately puzzled look on her face before taking another large gulp of her wine. "Knowing about all these lives of ours makes me quite... overwhelmed."

"Stop thinking about everything else, and live in the right here and now," he said gently as his hands covered her cheeks and he let his love and affection flow from him to her. "The one thing we're sure of, all these lifetimes prove we are to be with each other." The couple shared a passionate and luxurious kiss, tongues probing and pulling, soft groans emanating from deep within. They broke apart when oxygen was required, although it only succeeded in blowing up the flames of their desire. Every kiss was a bellows, every touch added kindling.

"You're most correct, dear," Anwen agreed before taking another long sip of her wine, downing nearly half of what was left in the glass. "This is the second most important step in our whole plan, and the far more difficult one. There are so many ways in which this could fail, and then we'd not know if Narcissa sent another version of her son back. What if she just sends him back earlier and earlier, until he's coming when we're only small children, and there's no way for you and me to stop her? I have no idea what we'd do then —"

Sirius kissed her to stop her ramblings. "My sweet, I haven't heard you get going like that in a very long while. Relax, please. As for your worry about sending Draco back too early, Harry has to be born already for her plan to work. You know from the two timelines we found without Harry that Dumbledore or Alastor stop Voldemort, and even in her delusional state, Cissy would never attempt to go after either of them. No, it has to be Harry she attacks. For it to be Harry - born or not yet born - it must be 1979 or later. If it's 1979 or later, you, James and I will be there to protect him. Relax."

"I wish I knew how much time we had," she confessed with a glint in her eye. "There's one sure fire way to make me relax."

"Why Mrs Black, I think you're inferring you'd enjoy making —"

A high pitched tone rang off the stones of the cloister floor and pillars, and Sirius pulled away and quickly put up a Silencing Charm around himself. The Animagus' ears were quite sensitive, due to his canine alter-ego. Anwen stood and, while unnerved by the sound reverberating throughout her home; she was thankful to see the familiar young man with blonde, nearly white, hair. Anwen waved her hand a few times and the sound stopped. She gave her husband the 'all-clear' sign before hugging her eldest boy. He seemed to stiffen in her arms for a moment before returning her embrace. He shook this version of his father's hand, but it didn't suffice for the older man as he too embraced the boy.

"Oh, thank heavens you've arrived safely," Anwen said, checking Draco over with her hand, her fingers moving the way a wand would to complete the diagnostic spells. The man in his early twenties looked at her with an amused grin. While she wasn't his mother, she was the mother to the man who looked like him in this timeline. After spending months in the presence of Anwen in his new year, 1985, he was used to her frenetic bursts of mothering. At least it felt like a woman of her age could be a parent to a man of his age; in the year he came from, his "mum" was a year younger than he. Surprisingly, it never bothered him; Anwen felt like a Mum. He was thrilled the little boy of that timeline, just like this one, grew up with these people as his parents.

"Anwen, stop fussing over the boy," Sirius chastised. "If there were something wrong with him, he'd let you know." Draco struggled not to laugh at them. These two might be thirty years his 'parents' senior, but they were identical in behaviour.

"I'm fine, I promise, Anwen," he said and Anwen nodded.

"Wine?" Sirius asked and Draco indicated he'd like a glass.

"Love, I need another glass?" Sirius prompted and with a twirl of her fingers, another white wine glass appeared between her fingers. Sirius took it from her, while Anwen led Draco over to sit down. Anwen returned to her place on the loveseat while Draco sat on the rocker across the small table. Sirius had gone into the house, retrieved the bottle of blush wine and was now pouring the glass for his eldest. After serving his son, he sat with his wife.

"How was the trip?" Sirius inquired.

"Better than the trip my mum made me take," Draco commented. "That one required a potion to quell the nausea. This one wasn't bad. What did you do differently?"

"I suspect that the blood she used wasn't very strong, due to the inter-breeding the Black family participates in. I used the blood of our son, Ethan, which is half Black, but also half mine. Depending upon which Black she used, it might have been quite corrupted. Also, there's a freshness issue and if she didn't store it well, it would have lost some of the magical essence it contained." Anwen spoke in a rather detached and clinical tone, which Draco found unnerving.

Sirius noticed his son's discomfort. "When it comes to magical theory, Anwen here rivals Dumbledore or your Uncle Remus. She forgets that some of us are made uncomfortable by blood or the borderline incestuous relationships the Blacks are reputed for."

"I'm still surprised you didn't take her Parker last name. I know I would have. The Parkers are older than either the Blacks or the Malfoys. Uncle James and I were talking about what I'd do, since I really don't want to go back to where I came from. Maybe Parker should be my last name? Now I just need to come up with a first name."

"Well, why don't I leave you two to that conversation, and I will contact my other self, so we can get started on visiting all of our other selves," Anwen said as she stood and left the main portico area and walked to the left where there was a large floor pillow in the middle of a rug and sat down, crossing her legs and entering a meditative state.

"How long until you're supposed to return to 1985?" Sirius asked Draco.

"I've got a couple of hours. Anwen, Mum, I don't really know what to call her. She didn't want me to get motion sick, so I've got some time here."

"I know she's young back there, but Anwen will love you like HER child, if you let her. I know I'd be proud to call you my son, regardless of how old you or I are," Sirius said with a sense of introspection the younger man wasn't used to. Even at twenty-five, his Sirius was anything but.

"I've felt that from her. She's so different from my mother; and not just in the 'I'm-not-a-homicidal-maniac' sort of way. My family was always so busy when I was growing up. They never sang songs or played games or even read to me. From the time I was younger than B and D, everything was about 'appropriate actions' and 'impressions'. The only time I was even slightly happy was when I was with my grandmother, Louise."

"Louise is a remarkable woman, regardless of what timeline she's in. She loved our children, all of them, as if they were her blood. Maybe you could go by Louis, in honour of her?"

"Really? Louis? I might be out of school, but that is a name ripe for ridicule and mockery," Draco said with doubt. Sirius just shrugged. "Oh, please, tell me that if I went back to 1985 and told twenty-five year old you that I'd picked the name Louis, you wouldn't have some pun at the ready?"

"Fine, I might..." Sirius admitted, "but if I heard why you did it, I don't think I'd continue to tease you... much."

"Thanks so much, Dad."

"Anyway, you have a daughter named Louise here, so you being named Louis would be quite confusing for your family. Of course, your oldest son is named Draco, so nevermind," Sirius said, sounding confused by the end of the statement. Draco just shook his head, he didn't want to know about the life here. He wanted to make his own destiny. "What about Parker as the first name? Parker Black?"

"Parker is a great first name, but I can't get away with being a Black. All of you have dark hair, you can't get much lighter than mine."

"Cissy had light hair," Sirius reminded him. "She got it from her mum."

"Maybe at first, but she kept it light with spells and potions from the time she got engaged to my father at fifteen. He liked her looking youthful, or at least that is what she said."

"Yes, that always was one of your father's... nevermind. Okay, so not Black as a last name. You'd be allowed to use Potter I'm sure, if you're wanting an old family name."

"You're joking right?"

"No."

"Parker Potter? Even in a society filled with alliterative names, that is one of the worst. Bloody hell, you are old." Draco started laughing and nearly fell off his seat at his 'father's' face.

"I am not old, I'm in my prime."

"Sure you are," the younger man eked out once he got his laughter under control. "Maybe I need to look outside the Wizarding world for a name. What's Anwen's father's name?"

"Almost as bad as Parker Potter," Sirius said with a bright grin. "Caldwalder Angus Hodgson."

"Wow, even for someone Welsh that is a mouthful. What about her brothers?"

"Haf and Ilswyn."

Draco turned his nose up in disgust. "Nope, neither of them. I'm afraid to ask, but what are her sisters' names?"

"Merlydydd and Eira."

"Did her parents just flip open some old book and pick names at random? Those are awful. Anwen is better, although I want to call her Arwen, like out of that book she gave me to read."

"The one with the hobbits and dwarves and elves and the ring?" Sirius asked and Draco nodded. "Yeah, she made me read them, too. No wonder she was sceptical of wizards and such when she first joined our world, if that's what she thought we'd all be like."

Suddenly there was a scream from Anwen, as if someone was yanking on her vocal cords, causing them to all resonate at once. The cacophony was unnatural and it caused the two men to rise and go to her. Sirius quickly knelt next to her, while Draco remained standing, but quite alarmed.

"Where is she? Why can't I find her?" Anwen said through her now ragged voice.

"Anwen, love, what are you talking about? Who can't you find?" Sirius asked ever so gently.

"I should be here, but I'm not," she spoke, although not directly in response to his question. "I can't find her. Where could I have gone?"

Anwen grabbed for Sirius and before he could prepare himself she pulled on his magic. His essence was ripped from his body and he was hastily tearing through a dark abyss with his wife.

"Anwen, where are we?" Sirius asked without speaking. "Tell me now, love." He wasn't accustomed to ordering his wife to do anything, but this was a highly unusual action for her, and he was concerned she wasn't in control of herself or her magic.

For his part, Draco was shocked by Sirius's suddenly unresponsive state. The Anwen from his time warned him that the shared magic between this pair was stronger, and was unlikely to be something he'd ever witnessed before. She was right. Knowing something was wrong, although he had no idea what, he withdrew the phial from his breast pocket and drank it down. He hoped his Anwen would know what to do.

"Anwen, Anwen you've got to slow down." Sirius commanded his wife. "Winnie, stop now!" He yelled into their joined essence and Anwen did as asked, her spirit form turning to face his. There were few times in his life that he witnessed the terror she now held, and it made his heart clench. "What is it?"

"She's gone. Anwen in this time is gone. I'm attempting to find you." The heartbreak she spoke with gave Sirius chills and before he could gain his full composure, she was off again. Their dark world exploded in colour as spirit Anwen found the corporeal Sirius, sitting along on the bank of the Black Lake, near Hogwarts.

The young man's face was tear-streaked and the stench of sick was about them. Before either time-travelling soul could speak, James Potter ran over to his friend's side and sat down.

"I take it you saw?" the second boy asked the first.

"Yeah," Sirius grunted.

"Professor McGonagall said it looked like an accident. Probably caught a gust in the storm last night and fell off her broom," James relayed the information he had.

"Sure. She normally goes out to fly in thunderstorms and we've all seen Anwen fall off her broom," he replied in a most sarcastic tone. "It wasn't an accident, and you and I both know it. It's my fault."

"Padfoot, you don't know that. You can't blame your—"

"Yes, I can, James," Sirius barked while cutting his friend off. "She told me she needed me in December, and I ignored her. I told her to go away and leave me alone. Five months later, she's dead. I might as well have hexed her."

James put an arm around his mate, not disputing what he said. He agreed in his heart. Anwen hadn't been the same since that December night. His parents had tried everything to brighten her spirits, but something was gone in her when Sirius rebuked her. All he could hope was that the little girl he'd come to think of as family was finally at peace.

Just as suddenly as Sirius had been sucked into his wife's mind, he and Anwen were ripped away from the devastating scene before them. Sirius slumped into his wife, and when the pair opened their eyes, they were greeted with younger versions of themselves, staring at them with concern.

The older couple looked as if they'd just finished a marathon race or had been out in the fields, tending the grapes with their farmers. Anwen's clothes were soaked through with sweat in places and the wisps of brown and grey hair which had come out of her loose bun matted against her skin. Her pallor was slightly yellow-green and her lips, normally the colour of the early summer, rosy hydrangeas now resembled the dark red they turned in fall. She was using every meditation skill she knew to slow her heartbeat and breathing. Her eyes were red and swollen, evidence of the tears she'd been shedding. The pain of her heart showed in her features; this Anwen was reeling from the news of her death in another timeline.

For his part, Sirius wasn't as overwrought as his wife, but he was breathless and tired; panting like he did when became Padfoot and chased his young children and grandchildren about the gardens. "Where's Draco?" Sirius asked through his panting breath.

"He came back early," young Anwen explained. "When your eyes glassed over and you didn't respond to his calls, he thought you might need help."

"We did," the elder man confessed. "My Winnie got caught in a timeline." The trio turned their attention to the older woman, who was again weeping.

"What did she see? What happened?" the younger Sirius asked, instinctively needing to hold his wife, suspecting the news would affect her as deeply as it did the older Anwen.

Sirius, the elder, looked to his wife to speak, but when she couldn't, he did it for her. "She was notifying the different Anwens, as was planned, to tell them about the alarm spell. She and 'Old Winnie' had different selves they were to contact. She went to one of them, and she started screaming that she couldn't find herself. I went to her and was immediately sucked into her mind. We found me..." he stopped to gain control of his emotions.

"We found me, and he was talking with James... there was an accident, but he didn't think it was an accident." He stopped again, this time tears were leaking from the sides of his eyes, and his Anwen fell into his embrace, her head coming to rest on his lap while she shook with the ferocity of her weeping. "She was dead... out flying in a storm and she fell and... I didn't think it was an accident. I thought she'd done it on purpose because I told her I wouldn't love her."

"Oh, Lord," young Anwen whispered before she too began to sob. It was acknowledged as a risk, that Sirius might not accept what she told him when she was so young; but none of them had ever thought it could lead to her killing herself. The young couple did what they could to comfort the older, but the grief of the elder pair was overwhelming. Eventually the younger needed to depart, as they couldn't cope with the emotions being sent forth from older Anwen.

When they returned to their time, young Anwen contacted Old Winnie to tell her of what happened. The ancient woman said she'd ensure the timelines were all protected, and that she'd do what she could to comfort her younger counterpart. Old Winnie didn't say anything to the youngest of their time-travelling trio of selves, but since it was the middle-aged Anwen who had initially spoken to the thirteen year-old girl, she knew only time would heal this wound.

TW TW TW TW TW

That night, in 2016, Anwen and Sirius lay in their bed at the French estate. They were completely alone, as they'd sent the staff away and even their younger children were with older brothers and sisters in their nearby homes. Sirius had been unable to get Anwen to eat anything more than a few spoonfuls of porridge and a bit of fruit. He'd given up on the food, and simply lay with her as her tears finally ran out.

"Can you imagine being in that much pain?" she asked. "Her soul must have felt as if it was ripped away."

"No, I can't imagine. I can only imagine what it would be like to lose you."

"There's a reason Bound couples usually die within hours or days of each other," she softly said. "How do you function without your heart?"

"You don't, love, you don't." His answer gave her some comfort, and she found consolation in his strong heartbeat. Her face was pressed against his bare chest, and her right hand was gently stroking his arm, while her left was lazily playing with his hair. Sirius had both arms around her, one holding her head and the other rubbing her back. "What do you think will happen to him?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "Maybe he will make a life with someone else."

"Doubtful," Sirius scoffed.

"Why do you say that? You were already moving toward maturity when you found out about us, and you did initially reject me."

"Maturity? Little one, I was only ever mature because I wanted to be what you claimed to see in me," he explained. "James and Remus were ready to dump my sorry arse in our sixth year. They were sick of my shagging around, of my not applying myself and then expecting them to help me out. Hell, they weren't into doing pranks as much anymore. They both found the girls they wanted to be with for more than to get off with. No, without you and what you made me feel my life would have been a waste."

Anwen listened, even more deeply saddened by her husband's words. "What do you think will happen to him?" She hesitated over the words, frightened by his what she imagined to be his answer.

The room was quiet, save for their breathing. In solemn and deliberate words, Sirius answered. "I think he'll kill himself too. It won't be an accident, like Anwen; and it won't be with a potion or something. He'll get himself into a duel or something like that and then let himself be killed. Hopefully, he'll take some of the Death Eaters or their kids with him."

"No, he can't," Anwen replied harshly. "He can't. He needs to protect James and Lily and Harry." She sat up partially, enough to look in her husband's eyes. "You wouldn't."

"Little one, I wouldn't; he would. He won't care. Without you, I would be an emotionless shell of a wizard. Not dark, not light, just existing; even pleasure-seeking wouldn't matter. I'd exist until even existence was too much work, and then I'd make sure I lost a fight."

Anwen couldn't take his words, and used her mouth to quiet him. Lips slid against lips and tongues tangled and explored. The undergarments they wore while they rested were quickly shed and hands moved across the other's flesh with familiarity. Legs intertwined and the embrace became more passionate until heat met heat in a well choreographed union. This was the only way they would erase the pain of the collateral damage they'd caused. This was how they would reassure each other they were alive, and feeling.

Sirius flipped their bodies, so Anwen was on top, and he revelled in the beauty that was his wife as she came undone, his name falling from her lips in bliss. He soon followed her, and as they rode out their ecstasy, he knew she had saved him; even when she was only eleven. They returned to their tumbled mass of limbs and torsos and hands and settled in to sleep. Tomorrow their children would return, and they would go on with their lives. It would be impossible to forget the young pair who would never know the peace that followed intimacy, but they would continue to live. It was the only fitting remembrance which there could be.