Chapter 10 - Rei's Drunk
"Look at this!" Brook cried as they all stared at the enormous footprint, "Doesn't this look like the legendary Yeti's footprint?"
"Oy, oy," Sanji-Nami and Zoro refuted at the same time, "Don't be ridiculous."
"I don't think so," Rei asked as she crouched down to examine the print, "It's more likely this is a footprint of a giant. But what would a giant be doing on this island?"
They looked further down the snowy slope and saw a long trail of large footprints heading away from them. Sanji-Nami and Zoro began to think maybe Brook's Yeti-theory wasn't too far off.
"They're huge, aren't they?!" Brook shouted with excitement, "I can't believe it!"
"They look fresh," Rei observed.
"If we follow them, we would be able to find…" Brook said.
"One of nature's greatest mysteries!" the guys said together excitedly as their imaginations got the better of them.
Brook pictured a yeti with soft white fur and dangerous fangs. Sanji-Nami imagined a female yeti with beautiful hair and a gorgeous, yet furry, body, while Zoro imagined a yeti swordsman. Rei looked at their hopeful faces and shook her head. It's definitely a giant. It just had to be.
They decided to follow along the footprints instead of looking for the samurai, as their curiosity became too strong to ignore. They walked for a long time before finding themselves at an edge of a snowy cliff.
"A dead end?" Sanji-Nami asked out loud.
They felt a figure come up from behind them and they whirled around to see who it was. The snow was blowing upwards into the air so the Straw Hats only saw two large silhouettes.
"LOOK!" Brook cried, "There are huge shadows behind us!"
"Don't tell me, they're the Yeti…" Sanji-Nami started to say.
He was interrupted as the two figures, who were as tall as mountains, shot projectiles from their guns in their direction. It hit the ground and green gas exploded all around them.
"What is this gas?!" Zoro coughed as he tried to block his nose with his arms.
"All of a zudden, I can't zpeak clearly az if I kot drunk," Sanji-Nami stammered, "I'm tired."
"Iz it an enemy attack?" Brook slurred.
Rei started to laugh uncontrollably as she felt dizzy and intoxicated. She lost her balance and started to fall forward.
"Oy!" Zoro shouted as he hooked his arm around her waist and caught her before she could land face first into the snow, "I thought your mask helped block out gas?!"
"These KYP gas canisters make you drunk and drowsy regardless of whether or not you're a heavy drinker," one of their giant attackers said.
"And down below the cliff is district F-16 filled with terrible Ice Spikes," the second attacker added.
That sent Rei into another laughing spell. "I'mz znot drunk!" she slurred.
Zoro scowled as it dawned unto him that Rei was most susceptible to this type of attack as she had never had a drop of alcohol in her life and was a total lightweight.
Her head wobbled a little as she looked up at Zoro and gave him a little wink. "You better take good care of me, Pirate Hunter, and don't you dare yellz at me zlater for it."
"Yeah, yeah," Zoro said as he tried to gauge his surroundings.
Rei instantly went limp as she fell fast asleep and Zoro adjusted his hold on her to make sure he wouldn't drop her.
The attackers suddenly shot a round of explosives at the ground, cracking the edge of the cliff and sending the Straw Hats flying downward.
Zoro saw that the attackers were telling the truth and there was an elevated platform directly below them that was covered in icicles and spikes. It was elevated about 10 feet off of the actual ground. If they didn't do something they'd all die.
"Hey guys!" he called out as Rei giggled in her sleep.
He looked over and to his horror, he saw that Sanji-Nami and Brook were also passed out. He glanced down at Rei. This is what happens when I'm the heaviest drinker in the group, he thought.
Still in the air, Zoro used his free hand to swiftly grab his Shusui and slice the platform at an angle. The group fell through the opening he created, unscathed. Zoro felt himself drifting into a deep sleep as they slid down the platform along the edge that he created. There was still a good 10 foot drop to the ground below.
"That was close," he murmured before twisting his body so that Rei could land on top of him instead of falling first into the ground.
The two dark figures stood overhead, confident that they had made their kill. They took one last look at the four fallen bodies below and walked away.
Rei woke up with a splitting headache. What happened? she thought as she tried to push herself up.
The ground felt weird under her hands. It was both hard and soft at the same time. To her surprise, she realized it was moving a little. She blinked and refocused her eyes to see what she was lying on top of. She gasped when she saw it was a human being and this person had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.
She blinked again and then her eyes widened when her mind registered that the person was Zoro. She tried to pry herself out of his arms but the sudden movement made her head hurt even more and she started to feel a little dizzy.
She rested her head on his chest, as she had no other choice. She was too disoriented and weak to fight her way out of his hold and somehow, putting her forehead against his chest seemed to make her feel a little better. He was snoring loudly but she felt a little comfort with the rise and fall of his breathing.
She waited to see if he would loosen his hold on her but it seemed, even while unconscious, he had a very strong grip. It felt nice to have him hold her while the world seemed to spin uncontrollably around her. It was as if he was her temporary center of gravity.
Suddenly, she heard footprints behind them. She saw a group of men in yellow suits and oxygen tanks on their backs running towards them. She started to struggle against Zoro's arms again but it was just as useless as her first attempt. She could hear them getting closer so all she could do was play dead.
"We arrived at district F-16," one of them said, "We found four of the Straw Hats as informed. We'll recover their dead bodies."
Rei guessed that they had a transponder snail on them and were communicating back to whoever was behind this.
"Who are you calling dead?!" she heard Sanji's voice yell.
The yellow men gasped and clutched their weapons, "What?! She's alive?!"
"She's just a girl," one of them said, "She can't fight us…"
Rei cautiously turned her face so she can see what was going on, albeit very painfully and slowly, and saw that Sanji-Nami was standing in the middle of these men.
"It doesn't matter if there is a hundred of you!" Sanji-Nami shouted with a glare, "You underlings!"
He lifted Nami's leg high up over Nami's head and did a swift kick in each of their faces, knocking all of them out.
Sanji-Nami looked around him after everyone had fallen. "I have to be more careful. Nami-san's body is delicate."
"Hey, Sanji," Rei called out weakly, "Sorry I couldn't help. I'm not feeling like myself right now."
"Rei-chan!" Sanji-Nami said coming over to her side, "I didn't know you were awake. Are you okay?"
"I don't know," Rei said, "My head feels like it's about to split into two."
Sanji-Nami chuckled, "I think you're feeling your first hangover."
"It sucks." Rei admitted with a grimace, "And I can't move. Zoro has a death grip on me."
Sanji helped pry Zoro's arms off of Rei's waist and helped her to her feet.
"You poor fool," Sanji muttered as he looked down at the sleeping swordsman, "You got to hold sweet Rei-chan in your arms for this long and not even know it. What a waste."
He turned and gave Rei a smile. "Now for the fun part, Rei-chan."
Rei watched as Sanji-Nami put his hands into two tight fists. "WAKE UP, YOU IDIOTS!"
Zoro and Brook both cried out in pain as Sanji-Nami's fists connected with their temple.
"Is that how you would've woken me up?" Rei asked with a weak smile.
"No, Rei-chan," Sanji-Nami said with his hands on Nami's hips glaring down at the other two men, "I would just let one of these idiots carry you."
"I think you're becoming more and more like Nami," Rei commented.