With Charley back home, Charley stopped attending classes and spent time learning about vampires. Instead of being with Amy, he spent timing his room with crosses and garlic. "Dude, is that Charley?" asked Mark, one of his popular friends as he and Ben, the other popular friend, sat in a car and spied on Charley. "What the fuck is he doing?"
"It's paranoia," said Ben. "Once I thought I was being chased by carrots with machetes."
Mark looked over at Ben as if he were crazy. Ben nodded, it was indeed crazy. "Whatever, man," sneered Mark. Suddenly, a knock came at the window. "Oh, shit! All right, ditch the weed. I'm cool."
It was Jerry. "Hey, guy," said Jerry.
"Yeah?" asked Mark. Jerry opened his mouth, exposing his fangs. "Fuck..."
Jerry bit down into Mark's neck, making Mark scream like a little girl. "Oh, fuck!" cried Ben. "You're the father of that creepy goth bitch, Lilith!"
Ben got out from the car and smacked into Ed. "I don't like it when people refer to my wife as that creepy goth bitch," said Ed.
Ben backed away from Ed. "Hey, Ed, man, we're cool right? I heard you were on the pipe, you wanna try some of Mark's weed? I doubt he needs it anymore," bribed Ben. Ed growled. "Ed! We're friends right?"
Ed gave Ben a look of really? Did you forget the years of bullying? "Jerry! Do we need him in the tribe?"
Ben looked around Ed and saw Lilith holding two bundles. "Wow, Ed, impressive. You had sex with a female and knocked her up."
"We don't," said Jerry.
"We don't need to kill Ben, no one will believe a stoner," said Lilith. Ed could hear Laura, his other daughter, start to cry. "Ed, did you bring any extra bottles?"
Ed growled and Ben watched as Ed's eyes changed to place and long claws replaced his fingernails. Ben screamed like a little girl and took off running. "I'll get her dinner," said Ed. Within three seconds, Ed caught Ben and killed him. He dragged him back over to Lilith and Jerry. His mouth over the neck wound.
Ed allowed the blood in his mouth to fill one bottle and they all took turns filling bottles with Ben's blood. Mark came too and walked over to the three of them. "What just happened?"
"You're a vampire now," explained Ed, putting a nipple on a bottle. He kissed Lilith. "It's a sweet gig."
"Hey! No public mating you two!" said Jerry splitting the two apart. Jerry handed Mark a full bottle. "Drink that, then help us fill the other bottles. We plan on attacking the Brewsters."
"What did they do?" asked Mark.
"They have Amy, my dad's dream girl," giggled Liltih.
Jerry glared at Lilith as Ed and Lilith giggled. "She has such nice tits," purred Mark. Jerry nodded along with Mark. Lilith split the two of them up.
"No public boners you two!" scolded Lilith.
Back inside Charley's house, Charley sat on the bed making a stake. His mom came in and knocked on the wall, making Charley stand up and face his mom. "The whole house looks like that one show...in Vegas...that one vampire guy."
"Peter Vincent?" asked Charley. His mom nodded. "It's a gag for Amy. Long story."
The doorbell rang out through the house. His mom turned to go downstairs and answer the door. "Don't, mom, don't! Don't open it!" cried Charley. He raced downstairs and saw Amy in the foyer. "How did you get in here?"
"It was unlocked," said Amy.
"Oh, my G-d!" said Charley. "Mom, please, I told you to lock the door!"
"You are flipping out. You're acting all weird!" said Amy. "You're blowing everything off. Is that a stake?"
"No. Maybe," said Charley.
"Look, even if you are losing it, you do not get to blow me off," said Amy. "You don't go from something to nothing overnight." Charley's mom was glad that a teenager around here was making sense. "You're not nothing to me, Charley. If I'm Lilith, you're my Ed. Those two are crazy about each other. So whatever is happening, I would like you to talk to me, to tell me what is going on."
"Oh, man. Amy look...I need you to forget about me, okay? I'm not going to let you get hurt. I'm sorry," said Charley.
"What? How? How am I gonna get hurt?" asked Amy.
A knock came at the door. Charley's mom went to answer the door. "No! Don't answer it. Please don't answer it," cried Charley.
"This is ridiculous, Charley," sighed his mom.
"Jane, it's Jerry from next door," spoke Jerry.
"Don't answer the door!" ordered Charley.
"This is my house. I will answer the door if I want too," said his mother.
"Jane, I need to talk to you," said Jerry. "Now. Your son his harassing me, Lilith and Ed."
"Charley what is going on?" asked Charley's mom.
"I have no idea what he's talking about! I haven't seen Ed in so long. Him and Lilith stopped going to school!"
"Jane, he broke into my house," said Jerry. "I'd rather not take this to the authorities, but I will. I have no choice."
"He's sick!" cried Lilith.
"He's deluded!" cried Ed.
Charley's hairs stood on end. That was Ed. "Go get the authorities!" called back Jane.
Jerry smirked at her choice and turned to the group and nodded. Lilith went to the back door and started to shake the door. Ed began to bang on the windows. Charley watched his friend go ape shit on the windows. What was he doing.
Mark handed Jerry a shovel. "Shit! Mark's one too?"
"Mark's what too?" asked Amy.
The three in the house heard the door stop shaking and the windows stop shaking. They watched as Jerry began to dig up the yard. "What the fuck is he doing to my yard?" asked Jane.
Jerry pulled up a pipe and the house began to smell of gas. Jerry drilled a hole and Mark got his lighter closer and closer to the hole. A firey explosion tore through the Brewster home. Jerry walked up to the door frame. "I don't need an invitation if there's no house," he said.
The Brewsters headed for the garage and hopped into the car along with Amy. "Jesus Christ, Charley, what the hell is going on?" cried his mother as he drove out of the garage.
Amy, from the back window, watched as Lilith rode on a quad runner, Ed standing behind her, holding Charley's broken bike in his hands.