Beautiful Belligerence
The Confessions
Zoe Rachael
A/N: This has taken me weeks of writing bits and pieces on my breaks at work. I'm sorry it took so long guys, but finally I have finished. Hope you like it. Also I've had some reviews asking if this and my other story is turning more Faberry then Brittana, in answer, no these aren't Faberry stories, both of them I plan on making equally Faberry and Brittana story lines, however, since the end of season 2 my Brittana bone has been slowly healing to the point where I can now write them and not feel ill. Sorry to all the Brittana fans, but I assure you, their time will come.
"What is it about gay and music that seem to go so well together?"
Quinn's head snapped around to her sister who was lying on her stomach across her pink bed spread, her knee's bent and calves and feet moving back and forth in time to an imaginary beat as she stared down at one of her assignment sheets.
Quinn's own mind had been on her encounter with Rachel earlier that day. After their connection on stage at the Invitational, Quinn had been avoiding the fiery brunette, a conscious decision that didn't go unnoticed by Rachel.
After a week of trying, Rachel had finally managed to corner Quinn after chemistry to confront her. As usual, Quinn had acted like a total bitch and fended the girl off, but since then, she couldn't get her mind off her lab partner. It wasn't until Brittany's completely random statement that Quinn's mind even veered away from the Diva.
"Meaning?"
Brittany didn't look up from her school work, her line of vision still trained down, but Quinn saw her fellow blonde's eyes unfocus and watched her head tilt in the very unique Brittany way and Quinn could tell she was thinking hard about something.
It took a long moment before Brittany voiced her thoughts but when she did, all previous thoughts left Quinn as she gave Brittany her full attention.
"Well, there's Kurt and Blaine, literally the two biggest fags I've ever met which considering we basically live in West Hollywood is saying something. Then of course Kristine and Clara, both of which I would bone by the way, but who are so totally adorable and in love. Me. Rachel with her two gay dads' and her crushing on you. There are you and…" Brittany paused in her monologue; either that or Quinn's brain tuned out the remainder of her words.
For Brittany to blatantly state both that she was gay and that Rachel was 'crushing on her' in the same sentence was enough for Quinn's brain to short circuit.
Completely oblivious to Quinn's discomfort, Brittany's words did eventually penetrate Quinn's ears just as her sister said, "And Santana," which literally caused Quinn to choke on air.
As her eyes bulged as her sister looked at her, Quinn broke into a coughing fit and closed her eyes as tears escaped from their ducts, "Santana?"
Brittany gazed at her sister as though she had grown another head, the 'Brittany head' show of complete confusion tilting to the right.
"Santana Lopez? Screws anything male that moves? That Santana." Brittany nodded, though it looked rather difficult with her head still tilted, "You think she's gay?"
Something in Quinn's head snapped and she gaped at her sister. Everything made a little more sense, Brittany's instant submission to the Latina, her refusal to let Quinn handle the girl herself, it all slotted into place.
"Are you sleeping with her?" she asked, her voice conveying her complete shock.
At Brittany's uncharacteristic scoff, everything that finally seemed to fit quickly jarred out of place like grinding the gears in their father's F-250.
It didn't make sense to her how her sister, previously so passionate about who she was and what she believed in that she would stand up to anyone, could lose everything about herself unless it was for something breathtaking. Her fellow blonde seemed to be such a shadow of her former self and she knew somehow that Santana was behind it, but she still didn't know why.
Though Brittany was far from a genius, she was well trained and well versed in sarcastic replies and witty comebacks. She had stood on her own two feet beside Quinn as 'Queen Bee' at their old school in LA, which was why her nervous behaviour and complete submission to Santana was so hard for Quinn to understand.
"Tell me," Quinn finally asked her sister after all this time, "What is it about Santana Lopez?"
The taller blonde's eyes saddened as they met her sister's for a brief moment before she shook her head, looking back down at her assignment and mumbling.
"Speak-up Sis."
There was a brief moment that Quinn thought her sister was going to ignore the question. That was until she saw her sister look up, a hard, foreign look on her face.
"She likes me."
It was Quinn's turn to stare in silence, her raised eyebrows enough of a question for Brittany to continue.
"She pretends to hate me because she can't handle that she likes me. When we're alone, she… she gets this look-"
Quinn finally found her voice and spoke over her sister, "Britt… she spends every day making your life hell. I've heard her tell people that if they don't hate you, they're on her shit list!" She paused, in complete disbelief that her sister would think this about the one person that had it in for her. "How does that translate into her liking you?"
Brittany remained silent and Quinn wondered for a brief moment if she was crying.
"Talk to me Britt. Why do you think she likes you?"
There were tears in Brittany's eyes when she looked up, but none had fallen. Quinn had never seen her sister look more broken, "I don't think Quinn, I know. I know she likes me."
A simple, "How?" was all that was needed to spur Brittany on.
"Sometimes, she looks so vulnerable, so broken and she looks at me like only I can save her. Her eyes say so much behind that wall she keeps up and when she looks at me, she shows it all."
Quinn was a little taken aback by the emotion in Brittany's usually bubbly voice. She's seen Britt thought a few intense relationships and never had she seen her sister so clearly hung-up.
"You're-"
Brittany cut her off, "I'm sure, Quinn."
Though the answer was obvious to her given how she could read her sister like a book, she asked, "And you?"
It looked to Quinn as though Brittany was trying to decide whether or not to be truthful. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth like she would before she told a lie, and then she released it and shook her head. "I think she's the one."
The words were so sincere that Quinn found herself have a rush of affection for both her sister and surprisingly, for Santana.
It wasn't like her opinion of the girl changed in a heartbeat, she still detested Santana and everything the girl had put her sister through, but as she sat there, watching as her sister turned her attention back to her homework, Quinn's mind began forming a plan. "Then what are we going to do about it?"
Rachel Berry was frustrated.
It wasn't like this was the first time her boyfriend had denied her sex, nor, she suspected, would it be the last, but this time, it got to her. As she walked the halls, her mind wandering over every topic she could grasp at, most of them focusing on Finn Hudson's demise, she couldn't help but notice her fellow Grant and former friend, Natalie, walking towards her down the purple hallway.
Rachel, of course, had no problem with Natalie, their friendship not so much ending, as coming to a standstill due to their previous mutual friend and Dazzler, Santana freaking Lopez.
Santana.
Rachel liked to blame her former friend for all of her current problems. During the months since their friendship had fallen apart, the two of them had very little to do with each other. Santana knew that Rachel was fully aware of her secrets and chose not to antagonize the neurotic singer in hopes of avoiding the spilling of them to other enemies of the popular Dazzler.
It wasn't until the addition of Quinn Fabray and Brittany Pierce to Douglas and the Dazzlers that Rachel even found herself back on Santana's radar.
The diva was still unsure why she found herself coming to Quinn's rescue at the party the night she and Puck began their relationship, but since then, Rachel found herself the butt of Santana's jokes more frequently, though it could have a lot to do with their now mutual membership of the glee club.
It was Santana who dubbed her boyfriend with the nickname of Finnocence, though as time went on, Rachel found herself using it more and more in her head. It was the prefect name for him, she had realized just a few weeks after their reconciliation.
Before their break-up, Finn and Rachel had only slept together twice, the first time was a first for both of them, it was clumsy and awkward and anything but romantic. The second time had been the morning of their break-up, and Rachel had approached him with the intent of fixing their problems, with his clumsy hands and lanky arms and legs, the second time was only just better than their first.
During their separation Rachel had spent a few nights in the company of men, even one with a woman, but all in all, her experiences were nothing special.
Noah Puckerman had been the highlight of her sexual experiences and Rachel was determined to change that.
Her first few attempts at seducing her boyfriend had been extremely over the top. She had lit candles and melted chocolate to dip strawberries. But unlike before their break-up, Finn seemed to want little to do with Rachel sexually.
Rachel, to begin with wondered what had changed, wondered if she had done something that would cause his sexual feelings for her to dissipate. That was until one night when she had walked into his room and found him masturbating over a picture of the Dazzlers, moaning Natalie's name as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
At first she had been upset, torn up inside at the thought of her boyfriend, the one she had once thought she would be able to spend her life with. Finn, surprisingly picked up on her upset, though he offered little reassurance or comfort. It was Quinn, walking through the halls watching Noah faun over Santana without so much as batting an eyelid that changed her tune on Finn's little crush on Natalie.
Though it did little to quell her frustration. At least Quinn was still getting some from Noah even if he was servicing half of the Sophomore year as well.
Natalie, for her part seemed completely oblivious, both to Finn's little crush and Rachel in general, and passed the Diva in the Grant hallway without so much as a nod of the head.
Rachel chucked another lap of the building before she buzzed out the main entryway and started wandering the grounds.
As she walked, her mind wandered, as she walked further away from both the Grant house towards the Taylor quad which was housed in the middle of the three long buildings that made up the Taylor house, her mind landed on Quinn.
Quinn was the kind of girl who held everything about her close to her chest. Everyone she had spoken to about the blonde, apart from her sister, knew very little about her. She was hard to read, something Rachel had picked up on from day one, and in that realization, Rachel also found herself a challenge.
So she watched Quinn, interacted with her as frequently as she could, tried as she would with anyone, to get the blonde to open up to her but with no success. Every time Rachel thought she was getting close, the stubborn blonde would take a giant leap back in their budding friendship.
This past week had been no exception. Since their spectacular Wicked performance, Quinn had been avoiding her, though Rachel was clueless as to why. She had thought the two of them had connected during their performance, formed a repour of sorts, but Quinn's behaviour since seemed to contradict Rachel's thinking.
Rachel had been stuck to Noah's side since the night of the Invitational, as though she was trying to prove something, though Rachel was unsure to who she was trying to show her 'affections' to Noah.
It was clear to almost all of the sophomore class that Quinn's feelings for Noah Puckerman were completely platonic. There was more passion in her eyes and in her voice when she spoke to Santana and everyone knew the two Dazzlers loathed each other. The blonde was keeping up appearances, using Noah much like Noah was using her. The two of them had an understanding, one that Rachel envied.
As she walked towards the East entrance to the Taylor house, Rachel heard footsteps behind her and turned to see Finn running towards her, his lanky arms and legs moving in a way that in the dark, made him look like Frankenstein's monster.
"Rachel, what are you doing here?" he asked, his brow furrowed.
Rachel was almost annoyed enough to ignore him and continue up to Quinn's room on the second floor. She fought the urge, however, and turned to face Finn.
He looked a lot different in his weekend close as opposed to his usual Grey and Blue uniform. He wasn't handsome in the way most girl found boys attractive. His hands were large and his torso was long and solid, his muscles were almost non-existent and his patchy facial hair was enough to cause Rachel to scream at him almost every afternoon when it re-appeared. He was however, kind when he put his mind to it, sweet and gentle and he did have eyes the colour a rainforest, some mixture between green and brown that made Rachel feel completely at peace.
When they had stared their relationship in their Freshman year, Rachel had been ready to give up everything to be with him. She quit being a cheerleader, she lost a most important friendship with Santana and at the time, it had all been worth it.
But Rachel wasn't stupid. She knew that their break-up before the Summer had been about more than just being apart for three months. Finn had hurt her with his impartiality, hurt her with his need to be with his friends more than her. Upon getting back together, Finn had promised her things would be different, and they were. He was there for her more, asked her about her day even if he didn't listen when she answered. He truly was making an effort emotionally, but Rachel wasn't feeling it.
Rachel wanted passion, she wanted to want someone and for someone to want her. She couldn't pinpoint the moment she had stopped desiring Finn, all she knew was when she looked at him, all she saw was a convenience, much like Noah was for Quinn.
And so Rachel had made a decision, "I was just seeing that you got back here okay. I'm going to see Miss Holiday now. See you at breakfast?"
After a quick kiss and an awkward smile, Rachel rushed away from the Taylor house across the grounds towards the Teacher's Quarters.
Holly Holiday had been Rachel's favourite teacher before the diva had even joined glee club. The blonde bombshell had everything going for her. She was a great teacher, had an incredible voice, she was smart, beautiful, friendly, funny and most importantly, caring.
She cared about her students, cared about their quality of life, about their hopes and dreams. Rachel often saw the woman as the mother she never had and often approached her with questions or hopes of advice.
It was council she was seeking this time as she strolled down the halls of the teacher's quarters late on a Saturday evening.
It was often on a weekend that the Diva would seek out the Glee Director in hopes of discussing upcoming assignments or song choice so Rachel found no need to call ahead to ask if it was okay that she stop by, an action she regretted when she found herself getting closer to Miss Holiday's room.
"You want me to create an assignment in glee to force Santana to talk to Brittany?"
Rachel was intrigued by the words, not to mention the tone her teacher was using, a hint of excitement and raw amusement. Rachel slowed her approach to the open door, hoping the discussion with whoever would not last long, but the responding voice caused Rachel to freeze in her tracks and plant herself against the wall in order to make sure she was not seen.
"No. I…" It was Quinn and she seemed to be struggling with her words. "Brittany doesn't want to push. She thinks that Santana will get over whatever it is eventually, but the girl is stubborn. She has yet to have a civilized conversation with my sister, I want to make sure that doesn't take two years to accomplish. And if Brittany is wrong, if Santana is the heartless bitch I have always seen her as, putting them together will cause Britt to see that and hopefully move past this…" Quinn trailed off, but Rachel's mind filled in the word, 'obsession' without any outside prompting.
"How do you want me to do this? Won't it be a little obvious if I just walk in there on Monday and ask them to sit together?"
Rachel's mind was working hard, trying to fill in the blanks from the missed beginning of the conversation. Her mouth, however, seemed to be working faster than her mind because before she has even formed a thought her legs were walking her around the door frame and her mouth formed one simple word. "Ballads."
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