Chapter 10
Need You
"What the hell do you mean you don't want him disposed of?" he asked, anger evident in his tone.
"I mean I don't want him disposed of. What part of that don't you understand?"
"He's a thorn and needs to be removed. Permanently. What's the reasoning behind this?" the shadowy figure demanded.
"He's too important and also well-connected. If we do anything to him, it'll only raise suspicions and that's not what we need right now."
"I'll be damned if some small-time-"
"That's enough damnit! Don't overstep your boundaries. Remember what your place is and we'll both get through this."
"Don't threaten me-"
"Get out now!"
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Have you ever had that feeling of being stuck in slow motion as you get into a car accident, or trip and fall, or completely put your foot in your mouth while talking to someone?
After rushing the bathroom door, I could still feel the splintered and broken wooden shards falling on me as I went through it. I looked around and could only see a blur of rich red carpeting, soft lights hanging low, some glittery stuff here and there and then her.
She was crouched down on the bathroom floor crying hysterically. I looked at the wall at the back of the room where the window had been left open. It tore at my heart to have to choose between chasing down whoever did this to her-and god knows I wanted to and beat the crap out of him-or rushing over to her side.
But I wasn't sure if she was hurt or not. She was sobbing, and still repeatedly calling my name. She was cradling her head with both hands and I couldn't see her face.
I took one more look at the open window; with each passing second the person we were looking for was getting further and further away.
"Kenshin…" I heard her cry.
My decision was made when I was pulled towards her and immediately went to her side.
I wrapped my arms around her to try and assess any injuries. She shrieked and jumped back unsure of who exactly was touching her.
"Kaoru it's me. Kenshin," I assured and kept my arms around her.
She was trembling so much and it only raised my fury.
"Kenshin?" she looked up and I saw her eyes again; although crying, her mascara running where she'd rubbed it, and obviously shaken up, I didn't see any bruises immediately.
"Are you ok-" I tried to ask. But as soon as she confirmed it was me holding her and not the attacker, she threw her arms around me and buried her face into the crock of my neck where she began to cry.
I pulled out my cell phone and called Sano for some backup and an ambulance.
As I finished on the phone with him, I turned my attention to the woman still in my arms crying into my chest.
Soothing her hair down, I held onto her for dear life, "Tell me what happened Kaoru? Did he hurt you?"
I wasn't sure if it was only her trembling; as soon as I'd heard her scream it was as if my body responded automatically. She continued to cry and hold on to me as if someone would tear her away.
"It's okay Kaoru," I whispered.
"Kaoru…" I whispered in her ear as I swept her up in my arms and made my way out of the room.
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"What the hell do you mean you can't take her home right now?" Sano screeched into my ear as I drove through the late night streets of New York.
She was safely tucked away in the passenger seat next to me, but I still kept looking to the side to make sure. I'd failed. Miserably! In protecting her and keeping her safe from harm.
I wouldn't let it happen again.
Kaoru had my suit coat wrapped tightly around her and was slouched down low in the seat. She was still trembling; still afraid and it was my fault.
"What part of 'she's scared out her mind right now' don't you understand?" I spat back.
I was speeding and pushing my ratty old car to its limit as it plowed through the night air. Deep down I knew it would be best to drive to the place tonight myself. Depending on a cab or public transportation can be a real hassle. I don't know why I was in such a rush, or if I was even running from someone. All I knew was I needed to get her somewhere safe.
Keh. Scratch that, I don't run from anything. If anyone was following us, especially the ass that did this to her, I wouldn't mind facing him right here and now.
"Kenshin! She's not some chick you pick up in a bar and take back to your place for-"he scolded.
"Don't fucking start with that shit Sagara," I warned, practically spitting venom into the phone. "She said she didn't want to go home. And who's to say whoever did this won't be waiting there for her?"
"I'll have the place swept and covered with officers," he tried again, backing off a bit.
"Not good enough. You said the same about the location of the party tonight. Whoever it was still managed to get to her," I beat the steering wheel as I was reminded yet again how miserably I'd failed. My anger was starting to get beyond my control and I honestly didn't want to take it out entirely on Sano.
I took a breath at the silence on the other end in an effort to dispel some of my rage. "Hello?" I snapped.
"Yea, Kenshin-I don't know about this-"
"Sano if you want me to take her back to her place I will. But she was crying, trembling and repeatedly pleading with me that she didn't want to go home. If you have any ideas at this point tell me!"
I heard him sigh on the other end, "Let me ask you one thing Himura."
He rarely called me Himura, which meant he was dead serious.
Sano continued after weighing his words, "Why didn't you just go after the person? Why didn't you chase 'em down?" he asked without accusation in his tone.
Well I'll be damned if he wasn't being particularly intuitive at the moment. But I underestimate him sometimes. He didn't get to the position he was at by being a complete moron.
"She was crouched down on the floor and I wasn't sure if she'd been hurt, shot, stabbed whatever," I replied. "I had to tend to her first as the sole witness and victim Sano."
He was silent for a moment and I held my breath thinking what could possibly be going through his mind at the moment.
"I probably would've done the same I guess."
I breathed a sigh of relief discretely, "So what do you want me to do then?"
He knew that I was right ultimately, and I knew that he would make the right decision.
"We're at the scene right now. You're sure she's not hurt? Should've waited for the medic" he asked sternly.
"Yea," I replied looked over at her. She was practically curled up in a ball, her head almost entirely tucked into my coat, her hair slightly disheveled. "She's fine but just wanted to get the hell out of there. No cuts or anything serious."
"I'll be here for any evidence, and I'm sending Aoshi over to her apartment right now. So go ahead and take her home, but answer your phone the minute I call you Kenshin," he quickly added.
"Yea, I will," I assured swerving and dipping from lane to lane.
"I'll call you and keep you posted then. And Kenshin, just remember what we're doing here and who she is-"
"Sano damnit I know!" I interrupted. "I know," I added in a more even tone to emphasize my point.
"Fine," he sighed and hung up.
After another 15 minutes of driving, we screeched to a halt in front of my apartment. I switched off the engine, killing the headlights and sat perfectly still looking in the rear view. After I was satisfied that we weren't followed, I turned over to her still form in the passenger seat.
I let out a breath and went to rouse her from her sleep, but as soon as I put my hands on her, she yelped and sunk deeper into the seat clutching the coat around her.
"Kaoru it's me, Kenshin," I soothed and leaned closer to her.
She didn't immediately answer and I knew she was in no condition to climb the apartment stairs on her own. So I hopped out of my seat and went over to her side to open the passenger door.
After lifting her in my arms, I slammed the door shut with foot and wasn't entirely too concerned if the car was even locked.
Soon I stood outside my apartment door, still holding her in my arms and struggling for the keys in my pocket. Finally I managed to get the door open and walked into my dim apartment.
"Shit, the place isn't even half way decent enough for her," I cursed to myself. But then again, I hadn't exactly planned on bringing her back here at any point.
After unlocking and then securely locking and dead bolting the door, I was able to easily carry her to my bed and deposit her gingerly on top of it.
Well, at least I tried to deposit her because she was reluctant to remove her arms from around my neck and clung to me persistently.
"Kaoru, its okay. We're in my apartment. No one's going to hurt you, I promise," I whispered in her ear.
"Yes, that's right Himura. Keep making empty promises to her. That'll help you out," I argued back with myself.
It didn't matter though. It didn't matter what I thought, because the only person I was concerned with at the moment was her.
Slowly her arms unlocked and slid off from my neck and shoulders. I missed her warmth slightly, but quietly tucked her under the sheets. Looking down at her, I noted the darkness of her makeup smudging and marring her perfect skin. Her nose was puffy and red from crying and her cheeks were stained with tears.
I rose to change and try to get her some coffee, but as soon as I shifted my weight to stand from the bedside, she sat up and grabbed my hand.
"Where're you going?" she pleaded, tears filling her eyes once more. "Don't leave!"
It angered me to see her so terrified. Even the darkness and shadows of the room were playing mind games with her traumatized head.
I covered her hand with my free one, "I'm not going anywhere. Just going to get you some water. Okay?"
I couldn't help but shift some of her bangs out of those scared blue eyes. Every bit of me tried to fight the urge to be close to her, sooth her fears and worries away. But sitting there looking at her I knew I didn't stand a chance to try and resist.
She sniffled and sat back, letting go of my hand and giving me the chance to do as I said.
A few seconds later I walked into the kitchenette and started a fresh pot of coffee. Tonight I would need it. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge as well as a basin of warm water and a clean hand towel.
She sat up in bed, leaning on a pillow against the metal headboard. I walked in silently and sat at the edge placing the basin and towel on the nightstand and opening the bottled water for her.
I watched as she took a few sips of it handed it back to me. Our motions were silent, wordless and as if it was the most natural thing in the world. But it wasn't.
It wasn't natural for a defenseless woman to be attacked like that by the person that possibly murdered her sister. The thoughts angered me; her fears, tears and wounds.
Thinking of wounds, I took the towel and after dipping and squeezing the excess water out of it, I began to wipe away most of her smudged makeup.
Even the towel's texture seemed to be too rough for her sensitive skin. Everywhere I gently rubbed became slightly rosy-red and damp.
"Are you hurt?" I finally managed to ask.
She looked at me as I tended to her; eyes wide with an emotion I couldn't put my finger on. I wondered if she was in trauma and considered calling Megumi for a second.
"No," she managed to whisper. Her voice was heavy with fatigue.
"Did you see who did it?" I continued to gently wipe away the grime from her skin. She was above all this I thought to myself over and over.
Her brows furrowed slightly and she dropped her gaze to the bed sheets.
"I-I don't remember exactly what happened but I was just standing in front of the mirror checking my make up before I was about to head out. Next thing I know I had my mouth covered from behind," her voice cracked slightly as she relived the horrific event.
"I know it was a guy because he seemed to be so much bigger than me. He wore all black and looked like a blur from behind. He spun me around so quickly from the mirror that I nearly fell and-and I remember I tried to scream or do something," she continued as a tear rolled down her cheek.
I wiped it away, "Do you remember anything else? Something he might have said?"
She shook her head as more tears escaped, "I think he was saying something in my ear, but I was so scared. I felt so disgusted while he was breathing on me and holding me that I was just concentrating on screaming through this hand over my mouth. The next thing I knew was you calling for me on the other side."
Her eyes looked up at me once more, filled with hope, "I knew that somehow I needed to let you know I was in there. If you left I didn't know what he would've done to me. So I just put all my energy into getting away from him for even a second; just trying to get his hand away from over my mouth."
As she spoke, her voice became louder, filling once more with the energy and need to survive that most people go through when in danger. I think it was called fight or flight mode.
"Good girl," I used the towel to wipe away her tears. Even if there wasn't any dirt left on her skin, I would've continued to sit there doing that.
She sniffled again and continued, "I don't know how, but I managed to dig the heel of my shoe into his leg or hit him in the shin. His hand moved slightly from over my mouth and I bit it! That's when I able to scream for you. He said something-I-I think a curse and pushed me aside and that's all I remember until you were holding me."
"It's okay, we'll find him; whoever he is. Alright?" I promised. Yea, at that point I probably would've promised her everything. I'm such an idiot.
"Kenshin," I looked up as she scooted closer to me from her spot and held my hands with both of hers, "If you hadn't been there I don't know what might've happened."
Her eyes filled with tears once again and glistening in the dim room light.
"Kao-" I tried to start lamely.
"No matter how many officers there would've been, no one would've been as caring as you to go and look for me like that. I-I owe you my life and so much more," she stated as another rush of emotion overcame her.
"Stop Kaoru," I gently hushed her, "It's my job to protect you and I would never let you down."
The next few minutes seemed straight out of the twilight zone. I mean just plain surreal and like an outer body experience entirely.
Before I could continue or even think of what else to do, she had her arms wrapped around me and her face buried against my chest. My heart raced with trepidation as I slowly wrapped my arms around her and held her.
A faint sob escaped from her and I brushed my lips against her head and whispered that everything would be alright.
I wondered if she could hear or feel how rapidly my heart was racing. She was there, in my apartment, in my room, on my bed, crying against my chest as I gently kissed her forehead. The entire scene seemed ethereal.
She was too important, too brilliant a star, and genuinely too good for someone like me to holding like that.
And even though as those thoughts raced through my mind, I was unable to pull away from her. I relished the feel of her draped in my arms and flush against my chest.
I vaguely heard her whisper a few things against the silence of the room. Then I felt my hands moving up and down her back, finally able to feel the softness of her bare skin there. It reminded me vaguely that she still needed a change of clothes; she still needed to be tended to.
But then there was her voice; soft and inviting. She moved her head from my chest and rested her chin on my shoulder where she continued to whisper my name. Her breath hit my ear and sent shivers down my spine. I wondered briefly what she was doing to me, but stupid sensory overload told me to forget it and just enjoy.
Then there were her lips; I felt her press her mouth against the folds of my ear and I swore my eyes nearly rolled back in my head. Her hands kneaded and held my arms and shoulders as she continued to ravage my senses.
She began to place feather soft kisses along my neck and went along my jaw line. At every intermittence I heard my name drop from those petal-soft lips.
I grew dizzy sitting down and my body responded almost instantly to her; my skin burned against hers until finally her hands cupped by face and her lips found mine.
All I could feel was her soft, sweet mouth kissing me; her tongue finding its way inside to touch and feel my own; her fingers gently grazing over my scalp and through my hair; her incredibly soft and warm body pressed against my throbbing one.
It started slow, unknowing and slightly apprehensive, but soon we were kissing each other feverishly. I heard her moan several times and that only served to deepen my desires to continue and ravish her.
Slowly she sank back against the bed top and I followed suit, hovering over her; my hands on either side her as she continued to hold my face and keep my lips pressed against hers.
My mouth trailed lower on her neck, following a path to even more treasures. She moaned and writhed against the feel of my tongue tasting her skin and at that sound my eyes shot open.
I looked down and realized I wasn't dreaming. She was really lying there in my bed, eyes shut and ready for me to do whatever I wanted to her. She was really Kaoru and not some random woman from a bar I picked up for the night.
She wasn't just some woman.
"It's Kaoru," my mind told me solemnly.
I stopped and shot up from over her. I practically jumped off of the bed and stood looking down at her now confused face looking back up at me; my heart was still racing, my body in a torturous state cut off from pleasure.
"Kenshin?" she whispered wondering what happened. Her lips were swollen, the straps of her dress slightly slouched down from her shoulders.
"I'm sorry," I managed to whisper without sounding like the pathetic, breathless moron I was. "We can't do this Kaoru."
"But," she immediately sat up and held onto my hand bringing it to her lips, "I want to-"
"No," I replied sternly and slipped my hand from hers. Her hopeful eyes once more became sad.
I immediately leaned closer and lay her back, covering her form with the comforter. "You're scared and in trauma right now. We can't do this, alright?"
"No, Kenshin-" she tried to argue.
I placed a finger over her lips and smiled, "Shh, I need you to get some rest. I'll be right outside on the couch okay?"
She looked weary and hurt, but I knew ultimately she just needed to sleep it all off. I probably needed the same.
After wiping away a few tears and waiting until she closed her eyes, I grabbed my pajamas and walked out of the room, leaving the door slightly cracked open.
The coffee was long forgotten and I switched off the machine. My body felt heavy with exhaustion as I plopped down on the couch and stared at the ceiling.
I could still taste her on my lips and feel her hands roaming all over; I was still quite literally throbbing for her.
"What was that?" I wondered.
"What am I doing? What am I letting happen to me?"
Finally the thoughts subsided from my conscious as sleep took over. I was more than happy to surrender to it.
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Ah…it's so forbidden, it's sinfully delicious!
Special thanks: Kano Mayotteru Hoshi and Antica
Hope you guys are still with me on this fic and enjoying it.