Kiku was the one to grab Alfred before he could leave at the end of the day. We had watched Matthew leave in a hurry, limping slightly with his hands clenched at his sides. He didn't show his pain on his face but I knew he could feel it. He had stopped for a minute on the sidewalk and as Kiku and I watched he took a deep breath, turned his face to the sun, and let the breeze play with his hair.
He looked so beautiful, so at ease in such a random place. I felt my heart jump, but it had to be in pity. Of course I pitied the boy, I had been so cruel.
Then I was back to self-hating.
Kiku had snagged Alfred's shirtsleeve and pulled him over while I tried to pull myself away from the loathing I felt for myself.
The blond's eyebrows had pulled together in confusion and he stared at us for a few seconds before coming to conclusion.
"You guys were the ones meeting with Matthew at lunch!" he exclaimed and we gestured for him to follow us to a more secluded place.
"We want to help Matthew." I said bluntly and both Kiku and Alfred looked at me in shock.
"I have been awful to Matthew. I didn't understand what he was going through and I ignored him but I- we, have been seeing how much pain he is in, and we want to do something about it."
Alfred's eyes glimmered and he smiled sadly.
"You guys still don't understand. Matthew doesn't want help. There are so many factors coming into play here that we cant change or control."
"You have been friends with Matthew for a long time is that correct?" Kiku asked quietly and Alfred nodded.
"Then you of all people should know that self sacrifice to spare other people pain is exactly what Matthew is doing and we want you to understand that we will do everything in our power to help him, even if he does not want us to."
Alfred stared at Kiku then at me, his mouth slightly agape.
"Matthew will hate it, he will hate you." I tried not to wince at the prospect of what he was implying. Matthew already hated me enough, my heart ached at the thought of him hating me more.
"He has always insisted on doing things on his own, he doesn't want to get other people involved."
Both Kiku and I stayed silent watching him until he finished with his excuses.
"You will need to tell us what we don't already know." Kiku said after a pause, and Alfred looked away quickly, his skin paling a bit.
"It really isn't my place to tell you." He said quickly and I scowled.
"And you really think Matthew will tell us?" I asked, and Alfred flinched at my gaze.
"I can't tell you, I am sorry. It has to come from him."
Kiku looked at me with a frown and I looked at Alfred.
"Alright." I said, and both their eyes widened. "We will do this the slow way then. We are going to be there for Matthew every day. We will not forget about him. Kiku are you able to make lunch for him every day?" Kiku nodded quickly.
"Alfred since you are the only person who actually knows everything about him, you need to be there for him medically and psychologically. We want him to be in the least amount of pain possible. He will talk to you too, be there for him."
"And what are you going to do?" Alfred asked, his eyes narrowing slightly.
"I am not going to leave him alone." I said before taking off down the sidewalk.
I was watching the trees sway in the wind before I heard hurried footfalls slapping pavement behind me.
"Matthew!" I ignored the call.
"Matthew! Jesus Christ!" I turned around and let myself gawk at the sight of Gilbert running down the sidewalk towards me, his white hair shining in the sunlight unnaturally.
His face was flushed pink and he was breathing hard and he stopped in front of me he held up a finger and leaned over, trying to catch his breath.
"One- one sec." He wheezed and I was frozen where I was standing., watching him in front of me.
"Okay!" He shot upward and looked at me with a determined expression.
"I am walking you home." He said sharply and started walking again in the direction of my home. I blinked at where he had been standing then at his retreating back, trying to make sence of the situation.
Did he say he was walking me home?
He spun around and shot me an annoyed expression. "Are you coming or not?" He yelled and I started, juping to hurry to him.
I don't really know why I did it but I guess it had something to do with the relieved and somewhat happy expression that had crossed his face before he turned away again.
"Toni told me you lived on the same street as me." He said randomly and looked at me with a curious expression I hadn't seen before.
"Yes." I said quietly and we walked in silence. I couldn't wrap my mind around the situation. Gilbert was walking determinedly, a fire in his eyes that thrilled and scared me.
I had absolutely no idea what he planned to do.
I briefly worried that he would come into my home tried to imagine the situation. Nothing should be in disarray, I wasn't late so my mother wouldn't do anything, and there was a chance she wasn't even there. Sometimes she went out to bars to drink and left my pills on the table.
I hoped this was one of those times.
I watched Gilbert blatantly and he snuck glances at me. It was the forest time I had really gotten to look at Gilbert without talking to him or being angry at him and I was surprised by what I saw.
Gilbert was really beautiful. He had surprisingly long eyelashes that framed his narrowed chilling eyes in thick fans. They were almost translucent in colour but they were so thick that they looked white.
He had a light blush high on his cheekbones, from running or from sun I didn't know, and his skin was unblemished by pimples, freckles, or moles.
His nose was small in size, and curved upwards more than most people. His untamed white hair stood up in odd angles and made his face look longer and I wondered what he would look like if he styled it. I couldn't imagine it though; it was like trying to imagine him in a suit or some refined clothing. My guess would be he would look like a caged animal.
Every time he looked at me he looked away again quickly, his cheeks growing a bit redder each time. The last time he clutched his hands together and looked me straight in the eye.
"it isn't nice to stare you know." He said and I looked away as quickly as he had before. I was slightly ashamed for my undisguised staring but a lot of it came from the fact that he was so bothered by it.
I had never seen Gilbert act insecure, but apparently now was one of those times. He was gripping his hands together tightly and bowed his head to look at them, not watching where he was walking.
I wondered what Gilbert was really like despite what he talked about. I had always liked his writing, though it was funny and slightly sadistic, it always had a deeper feel to it. Like he was always hinting at a bigger picture behind each story, and there usually was. Though it was subtle.
I wondered if his personality was subtle and he used a big ego to cover it up.
We neared my house and he inspected it thoroughly, looking at every detail and grinning as he saw something I couldn't.
"Do you have a phone?" He asked, and I pulled out the cheap phone without another thought. For some reason I decided to trust him, maybe it was because of the glimpses of emotion I had seen from just this encounter.
He grabbed the phone and flipped it open, typing into it rapidly.
"It's kind of old, and- you know- um- cheap." I said, suddenly self-conscious. My mother had only gotten me the device in case of emergencies and if she needed to call me. I hardly ever used it.
He looked up at me from the phone and snapped it shut, handing it back to me before reaching into his pocket and drawing out the same phone only the colour was black.
"It sucks doesn't it? It is a total piece of crap, but at least you got one right?' He cackled and for some reason this comforted me. The laugh sounded less cruel when it wasn't directed at someone else's expense or mine. He tucked his phone back into his bag and his eyes flashed to the house again. I tried not to stare at him but it was difficult, why hadn't I noticed how defined his jaw was before?
"Which one is your room?" He asked suddenly and looked over at me, his gaze was mischievous. Should I trust such a look that floated through his eyes?
I found my hand raising and pointing to a window on the left side of the house on the second floor. I hadn't even made the decision to trust him, it was instinctual. I wanted to trust him.
His eyes followed my finger to the window and sparkled in glee and triumph in such a way I had no idea what it meant. Was it malicious?
Gilbert spun on his heel, the delighted gleam never leaving his eyes until he reached out a hand, and it was replaced with brief uncertainty.
His fingertips brushed against my shirtsleeve then my arm was engulfed in warmth as he gripped it almost tenderly. He let go quickly and flashed me a small smile, one that I had never seen before. It was so different from his large cocky grin that spread across his whole face. This was kindhearted in a way I could never have imagined on someone like Gilbert.
"I gave you my phone number okay? Call me if you want or need to. See you soon." His eyes crinkled once again in mischief and he walked away to his house, leaving me pondering the meaning of his exact words.
Ugh that took longer than necessary. I am sorry! This story has given me such grief, I had honestly no idea where to go with it then I would get distracted by other things like Harry potter fanfiction and finishing my first story He Paints The Color Red (HPTCR, if you haven't read it please do!)
I have been working on so much guys! I will keep working on this one and now that I have some new ideas updates will hopefully come more rapidly.
So what did you think of this chapter? Like it? Hate it? It flows? It is choppy? Give me feedback please I love reading them and if they are particularly long or interesting I will reply!
Or email me at peculiarwriter I love hearing from you guys.
-Serenity Ma Sogni