To Party or Not to Party

A/N: Happy New Year's to all! Thought I bring the start of 2018 with a new chapter. Thanks to all my readers, followers, voters, and reviewers who make writing so much fun each and every year.

Here's to nightmaster000, BlueAutumn12, BlackDove WhiteDove, Guest [chapchap], Guest, and Sulina for last chapter's wonderful reviews.

Now, onto the Grand Line!

I could really understand why Gin looked so hollowed out and terrified about his first experiences in the Grand Line; between the rapid changes from of clear weather, snow, lightning, and gales, and the sudden turns of luck, literal at one point and in the form of a freaking iceberg in another, I was exhausted. Gin didn't look much better, but I was simply glad he didn't shut down or go into a panic attack after the nonstop change in weather in the past few hours.

Tears in sails sewn up? Check. Leaks in the hull patched? Check. Foremast rechecked for any strains on the patches? Double-check.

Everyone laid sprawled on the deck after a few hours of running around like chickens with our heads cut off. Zoro's yawns were greeted by searing glares. Zoro then finally noticed our two guests. He attempted to interrogate our passengers, but Nami interrupted him before he could pursue the matter of "Miss Wednesday" and "Mr. 9".

Despite the harrowing baptism the Grand Line gave us, Nami didn't falter, even as she firmly admitted her lack of knowledge. I shook my head at the very much not reassuring statement but smiled when our navigator swore things will be okay nonetheless. Gin looked at her with one-part astonishment at her guts and one-part admiration for accepting the Grand Line's inherent chaos.

"Nami-san is an amazing navigator," Gin commented as he helped me patch up some more tears.

I smiled and replied, "Yep, she's the best! She had to be since she's been traveling around the East Blue for many years on her own. Have you tried reading the log book? Nami started one not too long ago after we left her hometown."

"Shouldn't the captain be writing it?"

"…you've met Luffy, right? He's way too impatient to sit down and write a proper letter, never mind an entire entry with details and everything. That and if he has a standard village education, he's probably not that literate. Nami and I both learned extensively from library books and self-study, while Sanji…I'm guessing he had formal education since beneath his copious flirting, he's pretty well-spoken."

"…I see. But, am I allowed to read those?"

I chuckled, "Gin, you're a Straw Hat. Crewmates should be able to read the crew's log books if only for a refresher for newer members. Nami certainly let me read the couple of entries she got down, granted they're events starting when she met Luffy; she'll probably have to interrogate Zoro and Luffy for their adventures before then. Just remember to ask Nami first in case she's working on it. Plus, she keeps it in the girl's room."

Our captain's presence bunking in with the rest of us guys was another thing that set Gin off-balance. After all, captains as a rule had their own cabin separate from the crew. The first time put the usually collected man a bit off-tempo, but it helped Luffy hardly ever acted like a captain unless the situation was pretty dire. Only then would people outside our crew understand why such an unlikely group of people would follow someone like him.

And that, Gin understood firsthand himself. Gin may not be as free-willed or as relaxed as the rest of us, but I think he made a good fit as a Straw Hat. And Oda knew the crew could use another cool-headed and calculating person to balance our crew's brand of insanity and recklessness.

Before us, the cactus-like rocks of Whiskey Peak emerged from the creeping fog cloaking the island from sight moments before.

I regarded Miss Wednesday and Mr. 9 with speculation as they hopped onto the ship's railings. Gin subtly placed a hand near the tonfas he kept strapped to his waist belt, ringed eyes hooded.

"Thank you, kind pirates for taking us home!" they jointly said. "But, we will make ourselves scarce here. Perhaps the fates will bring our paths together once more!" Both threw us some pretty dubious smiles as they dived into the water, saying, "Bye, kiddos!"

None of us seemed very impressed with whatever that was about, but Luffy couldn't care less. He told us to prepare to land.

"Hey, …do you think we'll meet monsters here?" I asked.

Sanji pointed out, "This is the Grand Line. Monsters are part of the norm if the giant sea squid didn't tell you that."

"That's what I'm afraid of!" I defended myself. I knew logically the island was too bare to support much of anything – hence the food shortage problem – but the Usopp part of my brain still felt compelled to ask on principle and out of paranoia. Fear did wonders to keep one on their toes. "Think about it, the log pose could take several days to set, and then we'll stranded on a probably monster-infested island! It may not be this one, but the next one could mean flirting with the constant chance of death!" And wasn't that true? Monsters, giant carnivorous reptiles, giant goldfish, actual giants…why did everything in this world have to be extreme in sizes?

"Usopp, we would have to suck it up and wait it out because the log pose is the only thing we can depend on for navigation. Maybe you should take a break in your storytelling, your imagination is getting away with you, I think," suggested Nami with a raised eyebrow.

I have a very healthy mix of imagination and paranoia, thank you very much! Although, I may be sinking a bit too much in my role of Usopp.

As we sailed up the river, the giant green cactus rocks loomed all around us like ominous sentinels. I could barely repress a shudder; what appeared as prickles to everyone else was frightfully clear with my improved vision: hundreds if not thousands of graves scattered across their surfaces. The operation here must have run for many years my inner scientist noted. My less than happy inner Usopp yelled at me to warn the others, to turn the ship around and get the hell out of this death trap. I told both to pipe it.

My uneasiness didn't go unnoticed as Gin's eyes darted between me and the apparent source of my anxiety with a frown.

Cheers thundered around us as the boun- people of Whiskey Peak came to welcome us. I took a deep breath and pulled an appropriately wide grin. Acting skills I never had before this, don't fail me now!

"Wow! Look at this! These people sure love pirates," I commented goofily to the others. "They see us as some sort of heroes!"

"Is that right?" questioned Gin, incredulous and tense as he took in the sight.

So. Many. Curls! "Agarappoi's" sense of hair fashion was pretty hilarious (although I would never say that to his face…or to his wife's face whom I would depend on for food and rest after nearly dying). Anyways, the curly haired man invited us for a banquet full of food and wine.

Seriously, after two of their "citizens" tried to take down an island whale because their town was in dire straits for food? You would think Sanji would have remembered such a detail – if he wasn't enamored by Miss Wednesday and the lovely ladies on shore my mind offered in defense of the curly-browed chef. Yeah…right! I still played my part, joining Sanji and Luffy in cheering for our "good" turn of fortunes. Gin wasn't so easily fooled or moved, and maintained a blank face. I hissed to him under my breath, "Play along," before going back to gape at the adoring crowd of people.

Right now, Zoro and Nami had challenged a ton of people to drinking contests, Sanji was enamored with armful of ladies, Luffy worked over the cooks to unconsciousness, and Gin eventually joined the first two in out-drinking the people of Whiskey Peak. As for me…

"So, I confronted the queen of the nightmare lands, fearless and unaffected by her evil enchantments. With only my trusty hammer, slingshot, and wit, I vanquished her once and for all!" I slurred. A capsule of questionable ingredients I swallowed earlier, and my face was flushed as if I was really drunk. I made sure to exaggerate my gestures to cover up for the tablet I tossed into my drink as I chugged it down. There went the alcohol potency. Any curious frothing was explained by how much I sloshed the contents every other few words.

I had opened my act with stories about crew's journey here, adding a healthy bit of embellishment. As the night winded down and people (i.e. Sanji and Luffy just a little way away) could barely remember anything in these past several minutes, I started talking about my past adventures before now (i.e. future adventures). I think the increasingly wildness of my "tall tales" convinced the bounty hunters I was well and truly sloshed. I was all arms and legs at the end. Once I heard Zoro's head thump on the table, I swayed and swooned on my feet before just conking out on the floor.

My crewmates' presences eased into the rhythm of sleep save for three of them. I waited before making my move. Once Zoro and Nami slipped away, I gave them five minutes before getting up myself. Gin was back on his feet as well.

"Well, party's over, let's see what the after-party is like shall we?" I proposed.

Gin stared intensely back at me. "Usopp-san, why did the giant cacti put you at such disquiet?"

"Disquiet?"

"You were shuddering, it was faint, but I definitely saw it just after you started looking at the cacti."

What to say, what to say…I chose the honest truth. "You know how I'm a sniper, right? And how I have a high-speed technique called Flicker. Back in my home village, there was this pirate captain we met who had a similar technique, but he couldn't control it very well because his eyes couldn't keep up with the speed. I trained my vision for years to combat the tunnel-vision effect, and this in turn led to improved sight overall. I can detect movement even faster than what I can do, and I can also see much further than a normal person without my goggles. With these on, I can see what the cacti really are."

"And they are?"

"Graves. Hundreds to thousands of graves scattered on green boulders to give the appearance of prickly cacti."

"I see. These people are some sort of bounty hunters, then? Their targets being the captain and myself," Gin quickly concluded. Let it be said the former first mate of Krieg's crew was a shrewd man.

I nodded and said, "No doubt about that. Let's see if we can change their perceptions about us being their latest "victims", shall we?"

"Think Zoro needs a hand?" I questioned the dark man, Sanji hauled over my shoulder while Gin kept a watch for the one hundred of so agents scattered about the town and confronting our fight-happy swordsman.

"Hardly. Roronoa is fairly competent; anyone who has the guts to challenge that man should be able to confront pests like these bounty hunters," inputted Gin as he ran ahead of me, tonfas striking quickly should any agent stumble accidentally in our path.

Originally, we debated about actually waking Sanji up, but the chef must have been slipped a narcotic (or was really that exhausted, hmph!) since normal means of waking him up didn't work. I did have half a mind to dump some water over his head, but my relationship with the surly chef already had some black marks against me without adding ruined formal clothes on top of that. I could have made Gin do it, but there really wasn't any need for Sanji to get involved in this. Then there was Luffy, but the huge bloated rubber man wouldn't wake up either. Since we needed to come back for our other crewmates anyways, Gin and I agreed to simply stow Luffy away somewhere else while we put our other unconscious crewmate out of harm's way.

Finally, we reached the Merry. I dropped off my burden over by the table, and the two of raced into the night. I had not a clue how I would get Luffy out of there even with Gin's help or prevent the impromptu duel between our crew's strongest fighters, but I would at least do something. Maybe if I wake him up before Zoro finishes off the bounty hunters? The water trick apparently didn't work on food comas (if it's Luffy), but maybe if we took more extreme measures. Well, it was better than doing nothing. I hope. Maybe?

I told Gin it was probably best if we split up, one of to go back while the other tracked down Nami in case she ran into a stray bounty hunter. Gin saw my reasoning well enough and hypothesized Nami would be located where the bounty hunters kept their treasure. I also asked him to keep an eye out for the weapon stores. One could never have enough of free artillery equipment. And considering these people were planning on nabbing a devil fruit user, they should have just what I needed for my weapon designs.

As the stronger of the two of us, Gin would go and find Nami while I supported our other two and significantly stronger crewmates. I reassured Gin I would be able to maneuver around the bounty hunters easily enough as long as I kept an eye out for them.

I dashed off, using Flicker in short bursts. Unfortunately, my sixth sense didn't fare too well with detecting animals as well as humans.

"…ACK!" I yelped falling backwards. "Hehe…who got the number on that speeding fowl?" I groggily asked. I shook my head and blinked my eyes clear. A very menacing Miss Wednesday holding a long-bladed dagger and her semi-dependable duck loomed over me. Ah, shit!

With a blade held up to my throat, I had no choice but to comply being dragged over to where Zoro stood locked with Mr. 9's wired bat. My speed techniques weren't good enough to slip away without getting cut if Miss Wednesday moved too suddenly in return. It's just my luck to replace Luffy as the helpless hostage, wouldn't it?

"Huh? Usopp? What are you doing up?"

"Hey, Zoro, I would say the same to you, but don't you think there is something a bit more important than that? Like the whole…KNIFE HELD TO MY DAMN THROAT?!"

Cold metal presses down slightly.

"Sniper-san, I recommend you hold your tongue unless you can bear to part with it," Miss Wednesday warns me with a dark smile. "As for you Samurai-san, I suggest you yield unless you want to risk your friend's life?"

As an assassin, Miss Wednesday was terrible as she took her eyes off me due to her partner being flung like a yoyo in front of Mr. 8's assault. She was distracted but I was not. Now! I had no qualms about flipping my work hammer into my hand and knocking the blade away, stomping my heavy boots on whatever flipper and or foot I could reach.

"Usopp, duck!"

He didn't need to tell me twice! I hit the ground as Mr. 9 came hurling toward his partner and her steed. Rolling to my feet, I exchange blunt instrument for slingshot and fire on the curly-haired man..

"Hissatsu: Flame Star!"

Agarappoi stumbles back, face and hair ashen. In no time, Zoro scales the building and heads right for the bounty hunter.

"And that makes about 100," Zoro declared.

"Did you count the ones Gin knocked out, too?"

"Oh, so that's why there were more bodies on the ground than I remembered knocking out."

"You're pretty bloodthirsty, Zoro-kun," I sighed. I joined Zoro up on the rooftop, fingers still twitchy from almost having my throat slit.

"So, what brings up out here tonight?" questioned Zoro, chugging a bottle of sake he probably nabbed from one of the unconscious bounty hunters. "I thought for sure you were out like everyone else."

"Puh-lease," I scoffed, "they were acting way too suspicious. Throwing a party when those clowns had to hunt an island whale because their hometown is in a food deficit? No way in Roger's name would people desperate enough to go whale hunting the king of them would do that for some handful of strangers unless they were getting something out of it. Plus, did you check out the cacti? They have graves, GRAVES, all over them! Doesn't any of that ring "ulterior motives" to you?

Gin served under a despicable but crafty guy; no doubt he knows all the underhanded tricks in the book. I asked him to play along because we needed these guys to underestimate us. And it looks like someone else had the same idea; I bet Nami is out here somewhere, probably looting the town for all its worth. While you were dealing with these nuts, Gin and I hauled the chef back into the Merry and stashed Luffy somewhere else since a giant ball of rubber and meat is too conspicuous to roll along the streets."

"Wow, I didn't know you knew words like "deficit" and "ulterior". Or were that perceptive. You sure you are our cowardly sniper?" Zoro teased.

My hands twitched for Ginga Pachinko.

"So, if you knew that, why didn't you bother warning anyone else?"

And back to worrying. I weighed my words carefully even my inner Usopp cried about the jig being up. "…Zoro, you drink sake all day and knew something was up with our "guests". Also, I don't even think you're capable of getting drunk. Plus, you have the whole mental discipline thing, so I thought you would have been fine.

As for the others…Nami didn't look too impressed by the whole "Town of Welcoming" deal, either, and she's a professional con artist, the queen of them. As for Luffy and Sanji…do you think either would have listened? The first kind of loses his mind when it comes to free food, and Sanji still hates my guts after my big speech on the Baratie."

"Good point," Zoro allowed, eyes still narrowed. "Usopp, I've never asked, but how did you rescue me? You've explained the speed thing, and we've seen Kuro do the same thing. But, I never seen or heard of a human who could walk on water without a devil fruit. And we're all aware you don't have devil fruit powers."

"Err…" Why did it have to be Zoro? Sanji hated me too much to bring it up, Luffy didn't care, Gin and Nami probably noticed, but they for whatever reason did not desire to pursue it. Why did Zoro, the scariest guy I know, have to be the one. Okay, cool it. He doesn't know…in fact, there was a less than one percent chance he would even get anywhere close to the truth. You can spin something, can't you world's greatest liar? But should I lie? I always intended on telling the guys something around this point.

"Zoro, I suppose since we're here in the Grand Line, it's about time I explain a bit more about my training: you see, when I was younger, I've heard stories from some old salts about people who could perform amazing superhuman feats. Feats like disappear from sight from pure speed, cut and puncture things with only their limbs in place of a weapon, even walk on air, and take unreal damage as if their skin was armor."

"And you believed them?" questioned Zoro with a raised brow. I chuckled and nodded.

"There's truth in every story, that what I've always told myself," I defended. "So, I trained like crazy since I was a kid to see if I could do those things, too. You know about the speed-thing, and I didn't really learn to walk on air like the story characters, but I can do something nearly as good. Called it Scaling Step. I learned to walk on water when I accidentally misjudged the distance and Flickered over the water; I found myself kind of skipping right over the surface? I call it Skim. There's a few other techniques I know, but I'll explain them when the crew is back together."

"Hmm, that's pretty interesting, to know. I figure Gin knows, you seem a bit buddy-buddy with him," Zoro suggested with a grin.

I scoffed, "Hah hah, Zoro-kun. I saved him, and he saved me. There's a bond in that sort of thing. But yeah, he's aware of a few of my abilities himself, seeing how he witnessed what I had to pull out to have a chance against Big Lips.

Anyways, you don't have to worry about me all the time. I may still be one of the weakest members, but I can pull through in a pinch! Eh, while we're on the topic, how about you? To reach the top, cutting down a galleon is only the tip of an iceberg of things for you to do. I'm sure you can uncover your true power quicker than I can."

Zoro's remarkably blank face through my speech did not assure me about whatever thoughts were going through his head. Finally, the swordsman chuckled and remarked, "You can add philosopher and idealist to the list, too. You gave me something to think about. You reminded me of something an old teacher of mine told me long ago. He used to tell me about a sword that can't cut through anything yet can cut through steel. You sure you're younger than me?"

"Zoro-kun-!" I started but then stopped, head drawn to the scene unfolding below us. Zoro paused in his drinking as well. Both of us looked down. A strange and dangerous pair made themselves known as Miss Valentine and Mr. 5.

"Agarappoi doesn't seem very happy to see these guys. Who are all these crazy people anyway?" I questioned Zoro.

Zoro wiped off his face and answered, "Baroque Works. A highly secretive organization made up of bounty hunters and criminals. They have their fingers in a lot of illegal and questionable stuff, or so I heard. They actually tried recruiting me a while back."

Suddenly, the curly-haired man opened fire on the two. The building shook as something exploded, and I was unfortunately standing a bit close to the edge of it.

"Usopp!" groaned Zoro. I faceplanted not a few feet away from the brewing chaos called internal conflict. There's go any respect I created from our short conversation.

"Igaram! Igaram!" cried out the blue-haired woman.

From out of the smoke, the weirdo with dreadlocks and a red coat with the number five printed everywhere strolled out undamaged. He drawled, "We have found out the name of two spies: One is the head of the Alabasta Kingdom's royal guards Igaram. The second one…is no less than that kingdom's princess Nefertari Vivi!"

"She's royalty?!" I choked out, trying to crawl back to my feet. I felt an arm yank me away from the very dangerous fight breaking out.

"Usopp, quit messing around!" *Boom!* "Man, that's a dangerous booger! This isn't our fight, so let's-"

Zoro suddenly stopped, letting go of me unexpectedly. I rolled a good distance before I flopped onto my back.

Igaram.

"P-lease! Swordsman-san, a moment of your time! With your great strength and Sniper-san's acuity, will you please listen to this unreasonable request of mine?!"

"Hey, hey, let go! I ain't a charity! Just because you beg us doesn't mean we'll listen to a word you say!" protested Zoro as he swung and shook his trapped foot. But Igaram had an iron grip on it, it seemed.

"Please! I am powerless in the face of those two ability users! So, I ask if you will protect the princess in my stead! Please, I beg you!"

Zoro wasn't having it, redoubling his efforts to dislodge the man.

I huffed, "You two were just about to turn us in to the marines for our captain and crewmate's bounties, weren't you? What reason would any of us choose to help you? Out of the goodness of our hearts? We're pirates, why would you think that?"

Igaram grimaced as the truth of my words hit him, morals warring with duty. Duty won as Igaram continued, "Then if so, how about this! If you can escort her safely back to Alabasta Kingdom in the far east, I promise you a great reward for this task…! Please good sirs, find it in your hearts to protect the princess!"

"Oh, a great reward you say?" inquired a familiar voice silkily. Nami sat at ease on the rooftop. Gin looked appropriately dangerous as he spun his tonfas with hardly any effort put into the motion. "If that's so…how about 1 billion beli, hmm?"

"Nami?!" Zoro and I yelled.

The witch of our crew haggled with Igaram. I knew very well we won't be receiving that kind of money from a desert kingdom, much less one entrenched in a civil war. Although…didn't Baroque Works HQ have a giant GOLDEN statue on top of it? Hmm…food for thought, since we needed plenty of money for some of the stuff I had in mind. Was there a way the Alabasta Kingdom could forward us the money from the gold sale maybe?

I probably should have paid more attention to my surroundings since I didn't notice Luffy finally getting up from where I stashed him and wandering about the town. Until he passed right by me. Gin and I shared a glance and silently agreed to follow after him.

"Gah-! Luffy!" I shouted, running after the walking ball of food and rubber once we caught up to him. Luffy finally turned around. Then gaped. What? Was there someone behin- oh… The masses of injured Baroque Works agents. Whom Luffy had deemed okay because they fed him.

"Usopp, Gin! What happened to all these nice people?!"

I cleared my throat and started, "Well, you see Luffy, these people aren't nice for one; they're bounty hunters after our crew's bounty heads. We, your not-as-infamous crew, would have joined the "prickles" of the cactus rocks as new graves-"

"Usopp." I shut my mouth as the seething tone. "Who did this?"

I scratched my neck. "Uhhh…Zoro did?"

Before I could stop him, Luffy had waddled off to where Zoro was confronting the Mr. 5 duo. I thunk my head against a building. Great, oh silver-tongued Usopp! You let Luffy go and fight Zoro!

I had a few options. One, go follow Luffy and end up in between my captain and his unofficial vice-captain duking it out while the two BW agents try their best to attack Princess Vivi and the two idiots getting in their way. Or, two, I could wait until after the battle. There was option 3, go prepare the ship and maybe wake up Sanji. That was the safest option since Usopp originally never woke up until the battles long finished, and everyone prepared to flee for their lives to the next island. Gin was still here with a pained look of exasperation. He didn't run after Luffy, but stuck by me. I had a feeling he was waiting for me to make up my mind about what to do.

Did I go on this journey to be safe? Don't do it, inner Usopp whimpered. Option 2, I compromised. Risky but not unnecessarily so. Plus, there was something I wanted to do, anyway. I gestured for Gin to follow, but put my hand up in a sign of slow as the sounds of the two idiots' battle reached us.

"Usopp-san," Gin hissed. "What is going on?"

I sighed, "Just a pair of dumbasses fighting a meaningless battle. I guess Luffy must have missed the whole trying to kill us spiel of my explanation and went straight to picking a fight with Zoro. By the way, those people we're fighting is some sort of sketchy organization called Baroque Works. I take it you must know something about them?" Gin had narrowed his eyes the moment I said the name.

"Yes, some rumors," Gin began. "As Krieg's battle commander, I also collected various records on the movements of famous bounty hunters and pirate whether or not they were of the East Blue. As the saying goes, know thine enemy as thee knows thyself. I worked quite a few strategies for a variety of opponents, though those focused more on organizing large groups of people rather than individual strengths and weaknesses." Made since, he was the battle commander. He had about 5000 subordinates to coordinate into effective legions of fighters. I had a feeling Gin probably played quite a hand in Krieg's dominance of the East Blue as much as having a ridiculous number of fighters.

"Good to know about that. Anyway, two more agents showed up as you probably noticed. Totally heartless pair who are after Princess Vivi. Since Nami's adamant about earning her beli, Zoro would be not too far from the princess. In turn those two newcomers probably will get caught in the crossfire between our two strongest fighters."

"I would feel pity for them if they had not tried to kill all of us in our vulnerable state," Gin deadpanned.

"Same here. Let's just watch for now. I rather not have a rerun of what happened the last time I got involved with two idiots fighting."

It still amazed me how stubborn Luffy could be since he didn't listen to a word Zoro tried to say in between clashes. As I predicted, Miss Valentine and Mr. 5 hardly had enough firepower or skill to dodge the two's wildly thrown attacks. Now Luffy and Zoro were about to collide one last time, the weird duo knocked out at their feet.

*WHAM!* Nami punched both men clean off their feet. I stayed back and listened, eyes locked to the roofs and sky above them. Where oh where are they? There! I caught Gin's gaze and inclined my head up toward the odd pair of animals.

Gin nodded and darted out from our hiding place, easily climbing the buildings and was on the pair shortly.

Miss Friday squawked indignantly as she flew out of range of the tonfas. Mr. 13 had his shell blades drawn, but one look and he knew they would shatter against the cannonball-like ends. Lucky for them, killing or maiming wasn't Gin's objective. No, the whole point was to get all their attention on the demonic man and not on the sniper climbing the building behind them.

The vulture and otter didn't see anything amiss, too intent on the largest perceived threat. Not until it was too late. They would have only felt something small and light tap the back of their heads. Blue smoke suddenly enshrouded the two animals. The light substance was dispersed pretty quickly by the night breeze, but the first exposure at point zero was the important part. The two animals fell, and Gin helped them down with a casual swing.

Meanwhile, the thump of two small bodies snapped the foursome from their moment of careless idiocy. They somehow totally missed the two spies and their crewmates fighting.

"What the-? Mr. 13 and Miss Friday?" gasped Princess Vivi.

"Who the hell are they?!" Nami screamed.

Princess Vivi stuttered, "T-they're called the Unluckies! They're supposed to be Mr. 0's ears and eyes! If they had heard us-!"

"Then good thing your friends with the Great Captain Usopp and Gin! My eyes that can pick out a spot a fly from several hundred feet away can easily make out a suspicious pair like them!" I boast, jumping down from the roof. "Gin played decoy while I nab them just before you said anything really bad in front of them…I hope. Anyways, what should we do with them?"

Princess Vivi looked conflicted. "Well…if they heard us say Mr. 0's true identity as Sir Crocodile of the Shichibukai, they'll paint a bullet on the back of everyone here!"

"Crocodile? A Shichibukai like Hawk-Eyes?" Gin gaped, dark skin somehow turning white with apprehension. I was having the same reaction as the sheer volume of the dangers ahead of us from now on finally dawned on me. Crocodile may not take as an active role as some of his fellow turncoat pirates, but he still had more experience, more minions, and Logia power to back him up.

Nami grabbed the princess and started to shake her, yelling, "AND YOU DID IT AGAIN! Don't go revealing dangerous things to people if you planned to keep it a secret from them!"

While that was happening, I went over and gestured for Gin to hand me the back of just-in-case supplies I snagged from the ship which included some ropes, tape, and rags. From head to claw toes, they resembled so much a duct tape and rope mummy. I even blindfolded them and stuck in some putty for earplugs.

"Hey, do you think they taste good?" Luffy remarked, drooling. Didn't you just eat the town of a couple months' worth of food?!

I felt conflicted. On one hand, they were sentient. On the other hand, they had no problem killing those Baroque Works agents, never mind killing us ourselves if they could.

"Uhh…Captain Luffy, I'm not too sure about eating them…" Princess Vivi sputtered, turning green at the thought. As I thought about it, technically a lot of One Piece animals had a vague sense of sentience anyway.

"I've heard vultures are usually not the fare of predators even after death since their meat is rather tough, odorous, and oily much like themselves. Otters are just oily," Gin informed our captain, adding his two-bits to the reasons to not eat them.

"We'll compromise," I declared. "We can stash them in the cargo hold. I can modify some chains to hold them, but we should probably keep an eye on them since they look like sneaky bastards. If they act out, then we can give them to Sanji to prepare. I've seen him turn scraps into something fantastically edible, so they can at least present him with a challenge for dish ideas."

"Okay, shishishi!" Luffy cheered, eyes turning into meat at the thought. Nami looked exasperated (probably thinking about how much it will cost to feed our prisoners) while Zoro and Gin simply shrugged. Princess Vivi frowned sharply before sighing, accepting the pirate captain's decision.

Igaram's choice of disguise…disturbed me on the level of how distasteful it looked on him, and that came from someone who was a book nerd originally, not exactly someone up-and-up with fashion trends.

I knew it was going to happen. I anticipated it and braced for it. But the explosion of fire still caught part of me unguarded. Luffy was the first to recover, ordering us to return to the ship and set off.

"Hey, what about Curly-Brow?"

"Don't worry!" I yelled, one Baroque Works agent slung under my arm and the other over my other shoulder. "I dragged Sanji-kun to the ship while you were fighting those guys! I was actually heading back from the ship when Princess Vivi caught me!"

All of us plus Carue boarded the ship and rushed to prepare for a hasty set off.

Nami took one look at the still snoozing chef and let him have it. I was really glad to remember to prepare for this sort of event if only to avoid the pain of a triple head bump sported by Sanji.

Everyone was gathering on the deck as morning arrived.

"You should keep an eye on the currents past here. The river is flanked by some nasty rocks from here on out, and the fog hasn't completely lifted yet. And, also, congratulations on escaping Whiskey Peak~"

I had just rounded the corner of the second floor when I heard Princess Vivi seethe, "What do you know about what happened to Igaram?!"

Like in the manga/anime, everyone but Luffy and Vivi drew or prepared to draw a weapon on our unexpected intruder. I made a note to ask Sanji where'd he get the gun since he didn't have one on him when he left the Baratie from what I could recall. Maybe Gin had more than that flintlock he had locked on the female assassin? Although, what did the chef think he could accomplish pulling a gun on a woman since it was him.

Miss All-Sunday, or Nico Robin. The archaeologist/assassin summarized the trick she pulled on the Alabastan princess, letting her tail follow her and find out Mr. 0's identity. She looked at us all in amusement and chuckled quietly, "My, my, such quick and total reactions. I couldn't resist on checking in on you personally – to observe the naive princess trying to save her kingdom from an organization like Baroque Works with nothing more than one servant, and poor one at that to be so easily blown up."

"DON'T YOU DARE UNDERESTIMATE ME!"

I sensed the hands before they grabbed me and tossed me over the railings. I let my body flow into a flip, landing on my feet unlike Sanji and Gin who tumbled into a heap (I did have the advantage of foreknowledge).

I warned the others, "Careful! I felt like someone else caught a hold of me and fling me over! It must be some sort of devil fruit!"

"Not too bad of a mind or senses you have, Long-Nose-kun. I wonder what really tipped you off to the town's deceptions? You played everyone pretty well back there. But that's beside the point. I haven't come here to make trouble. I won't even disturb the two you pirates have taken prisoner."

Luffy's hat came flying over to the raven-haired woman. Anything Luffy's weird bad guy/good guy detector concluded went out the window with that one action. After giving her whole spiel about Little Garden, she offered us an eternal log pose, which Luffy crushed out of hand.

So, our course was set for the island with an ironic name. Even though Miss All-Sunday wouldn't make trouble with us directly, she would probably report us in place of the Unluckies. In fact, she probably had a den den mushi stashed on her giant turtle boat.

Princess Vivi despaired, but Nami knew just what to say to the blue-haired woman – in more than one way. We left the cactus rocks with their ominous secret graveyard of countless victims behind us as we sailed off to the next island: Little Garden.