The next morning, they drove to New Orleans in silence, the only sound in the car coming from the tinny speakers as Julie played her favorite playlist in the hopes that the music would calm her nerves and clear her mind. Instead, her thoughts kept pinging between the shower with Tim and the logistics of trying to find Juice. She hadn't even let herself think about what she was going to say to him.

"Uh, Julie, I think your bag is buzzing," said Tim, snapping her out of her thoughts. Julie looked into lap and saw her backpack vibrate. She pulled out the little phone from Alec. On the screen was a text. She opened it and saw a map and a short message: "He'll be here for a couple of hours. Don't worry, the receptionist is cool."

Julie smiled to herself and put the phone back into the secret pocket of her backpack. She put the address into the GPS app on her phone, fidgeting as they drove the last 20 minutes to the place where Juice was having his tattoos removed.

Tim found a parking space on the street and undid his seatbelt.

"I think you better stay in the truck, Tim," said Julie, hating the hurt look on his face.

"Like hell."

"I don't want you to spook him."

"I'm not going to spook anyone. He won't even see me. I'll wait outside the door, once I see that where you're going is safe."

Julie looked at the cluster of teenagers selling drugs on the corner and felt an odd mixture of relief and annoyance. "You know I managed to live on the street for months without you looking over my shoulder."

"Yeah. Don't mean I liked one minute of it though."

Julie sighed, got out of the truck, and stalked into the building without bothering to check that Tim was following her. She easily found the office she needed, which was at the end of a narrow, dimly lit corridor. She pushed open the door so that Tim could see the empty waiting room and the bored looking purple-haired receptionist. Tim brushed past Julie and sat down on one of the rickety metal chairs, folding his arms and giving Julie a look that was mostly a dare to throw him out.

Julie rolled her eyes and approached the receptionist, who gave her an impish grin that was unnerving in its familiarity. But Julie pushed on with her question before she spent too much time trying to think of how in the world she might know this woman.

"Hi there, I'm looking for a friend of mine. He's getting a bunch of motorcycle tattoos removed. He said he was going to be here and that I could drop by and keep him company."

The girl snapped her chewing gum and nodded. "Oh yeah, he's in that door. I think he's having a rest before they start on the back removal, so I'm sure he'll be happy for company."

Julie walked toward the door that the girl had gestured to and took a deep breath. She pushed open the door and found a small room with a treatment table in the middle. Juice was laying there, face up and eyes closed.

"I'm alone, Juice, I just need information."

Juice jumped up off the table into a defensive crouch, his eyes wild. "Pixie?"

His tone was confused, but his body was still tense.

"Like I said, Juice, I just need some information. No one from the club knows that I'm here."

The door pushed open and betrayal washed across Juice's face, but it was just the receptionist. "Just checking that you're okay in here. Need any drinks or anything?"

Juice shook his head and leaned back against the wall. "We're fine, thanks."

Julie held her breath until the door was closed, hoping that the right words would come.

"I don't care about anything else, Juice, but Jax needs to know who killed Tara. Nobody seems to know anything."

"Then why do you think that I'd know anything?"

"You ran."

Juice ran a hand over his face and then threw is growing-out hair. "Yeah, but that had nothing to do with Tara."

"No? What if I told you that the DA has traffic camera footage of you leaving Jax's neighborhood at the estimated time of Tara's death?" It was a bluff, and a dirty trick, and something that she'd never had done as a journalist. But Julie had plenty of hunches about this one and not enough time to coax information out of him question by painstaking question.

Juice's shoulders slumped and Julie knew her hunch had been right. He'd been there, been involved somehow, even though she couldn't square Juice with the violent murder of a woman who'd never been anything but kind to him.

"Does Jax know about that?"

Julie shook her head. "No. He only deals with the DA through his lawyer and she's pissed he won't talk to her. I've been doing my own investigation."

"Why did you go back there, Pixie? You were free and clear. You were one of the lucky ones who managed to escape unscathed."

"You first, Juice. Tell me what you know. I don't believe you had anything to do with what happened, but when Jax finds out about the traffic camera footage, you know he might jump to the wrong conclusion."

Juice's laugh was small and bitter. "Then you can add it to the long list of reasons that he already has for wanting to kill me."

"Juice, come on. Someone is getting away with murdering an old lady. That can't be sitting right with you, whatever problems you might have with the club."

Juice folded his arms and closed his eyes. "How did you find me anyway?"

"I'm friends with a hacker. One of the best. You can keep running, but I'll keep finding you. Also, it just so happens that I know your brother."

Juice's smile was small and rueful. "My brother in Seattle."

Julie nodded. "I promised him that I'd do what I could to keep you safe. And this is what I'm going to do. Keep finding you and badgering you until you tell me what you know."

"And then what?" asked Juice.

"Depends what it is. The general outline of the plan though is that I bring the info to Jax, and it helps him get some closure."

"Closure is overrated. And impossible." Juice's eyes were bright and dark, not quite angry but animated in a way that Julie had never seen.

"Just tell me, Juice. I'm ridiculously patient and persistent." Julie leaned back against the door and forced herself to be more relaxed that she felt. She counted backwards from 100. When she got to 37, Juice sighed.

"You're really not going away."

"I'm really not," she confirmed.

"Fine. I went over there, looking for Gemma. Everyone knew that Jax was making a deal on the gun charges to save Tara and the club. Roosevelt, the sheriff, was there. You never met him, but he was kind of a bastard. He went into the house, and I followed him in. I heard Gemma telling him that Tara had ratted, that she'd just done what she had to do to protect her family. Roosevelt was getting ready to call it in, so I took him out, then took the evidence."

"Gemma?" asked Julie. She'd always been a little intimidated of the woman, but murdering her own daughter-in-law seemed like something out of a crazy soap opera.

Juice nodded. "I helped her get cleaned up and got her out of there. She'd been driving Unser's truck. I dumped the evidence in a few dumpsters off of Main Street and then I headed up toward Seattle. Is Gemma okay?"

Julie bit back the reflex to snap at him. "She's fine, like nothing had ever happened. Juice, you have to go the police."

"I'm not a rat."

"No, rats are smart animals," said Julie, anger rising in her voice. "Gemma is walking around like Grandmother of the Year. You think she ever gives you a second thought? She'd throw you under the bus in a heartbeat. If I were you, I'd get myself to the DA as soon as possible and get my story on the record. If a shred of evidence ever points her way, she'll be finding a way to put everything on you. Or she'll tell Jax that you confessed to her when she stopped by to pick something up. Juice, it is beyond stupid to be an accessory to that woman."

Juice's smile was small and sad. "I'll take my chances."

They were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. The receptionist stuck her head in. "Sorry, but his next session needs to start soon. I can get you a chair if you want to keep him company."

"She's said all that she needs to, thanks," said Juice. He waited to speak again until the receptionist was gone. "No offense, Pixie, but I hope I never see you again."

"That depends on you. Get yourself to the DA, and your problems with me are over."

"I'll think about that kind offer," said Juice grimly as he laid down on the table.

"You're leaving on a container ship in two days. You picked up some fake papers. Pablo Ortega. I'm not sure the name suits you at all."

Juice sat bolt upright and stared at her.

"I told you I had a hacker friend. I wasn't lying when I said he was the best. I can find you and keep finding you and keep finding you."

Juice sighed, the sound of resignation hissing out of his body like air out of a balloon. "You've already shown yourself to be stubborn and persistent. You're never going to stop, are you?"

"No. And I think if you consider all the angles, you'll realize that getting yourself to the DA is your only hope. You only say what you saw with Tara and cop to Roosevelt. I think I can get Jax to leave you alone as long as you don't do anything to hurt the club. Don't be stupid, Juice."

He dropped back onto the table. "I hope you're not overestimating your sway with Jax."

"Bye, Juice," said Julie, pulling the door open. She hoped she wasn't overestimating either, but she'd never tell him that.

"I hope you run while you have the chance. You always seemed like too good a person for Jax and Charming."

Julie tried to shake off his words as she stepped out into the waiting room. The receptionist beckoned her over and slid an airline ticket over to her. "Our mutual friend said that you're in rush, and you better fly back. Your flight leaves in three hours, so you better hurry."

"Thank him for me, please."

"Will do. And don't worry about Juice. He's going to see sense soon. I can feel it."

Julie smiled and left, brushing past Tim on her way out into the dim hallway. When they got to the outside door, it was pulled open by a rumpled-looking man who was with a woman who was glamorous looking even in a hideous pants suit. They were having a bored and casual argument. The man winked at her, and Julie walked through the door, feeling that a certain guardian angel hacker was definitely looking out for her.

-/-/-

Julie waited for Tim to unlock the door of the truck and then climbed in, wincing as he slammed the door behind her. She took deep breaths to steady herself while he walked around the side of the truck, kicking gravel and refusing to make eye contact with her. He climbed up into the cab and roughly turned the key, the engine stuttering and complaining as it whirred into action.

"So, you get what you came looking for?"

Julie swallowed hard and nodded.

"You going to tell me?"

She felt the secret inside of her, nearly burning her heart with its intensity and power to destroy. She didn't even want to say the words, hear them out loud again, realize what it was going to do to Jax. She shook her head and looked away. "Change of plans though. I need to go to the airport."

She heard Tim sigh and thought she caught him mutter "You've got to be kidding me." But he put the car in reverse and eased out of the parking space and into traffic without another word.

After a long stretch of no conversation, unless you counted Tim grunting in displeasure every five minutes, Julie cracked.

"What, Tim?"

"What was the point of me bein' here Jules? You clearly didn't want me for anything at all. Did you just wanna make sure you still had your hooks in me? Newsflash Taylor, I will always love you, but my world does not revolve around you."

Julie sighed and looked out the window. "I don't want to fight with you."

Tim drummed on the steering wheel. "I took money we both know I didn't have to spend to come here with you and you shove me back in the closet with all your small town Texan skeletons."

"Okay, Tim. I admit I was maybe selfish and frightened. Having you along made me feel less scared. If the money's a problem, I can send you a check."

"It's not about the money. Don't make this about one simple thing when we both know what's going on here."

Julie felt a flash of anger surge through her. It was better and easier than feeling bad about dragging him on this goose chase. "What what's going on here, Tim?"

"I am over being made to feel as if I'm too simple for the smart girl."

"Tim I just-"

He cut her off, as angry as she'd ever seen him. A few weeks worth of anger surged out of him. She could almost see it filling the car like a toxic cloud. "For someone so smart, Jax makes you fucking stupid. You think I don't know what you're doing? I do, and it's going to get you killed because clearly that is all that man succeeds at. History don't change, you used to know that."

"Tim," she fought to keep her voice level. "He's so lost, I just want to help."

His laugh was small and bitter. "You can't fix what's born corrupted, baby."

"People used to say similar things about you and look how you turned out. I know Jax, and I know-" Her sentence was cut short by Tim's heavy fist pounding on the dashboard. She looked over to see him running a hand through his hair.

"You know the lie Jax wants you to see. What happens when you tell him the horrible thing you know? He's ten times as destrustive as I have ever been. And whatever big secret you just found out, I might not know exactly what it is, but I bet that it's big and it's bad and it's the kinda thing that burns down lives. I can see that much in your eyes."

"I never meant for everything to spin out of control so fast. I never in a million years meant to devalue this thing we have, Tim. I never meant to cheapen it or use you. You make me feel safe and missed you that's all, even all this I miss you."

"I miss you too but if there's one thing I know is you can't live on old glories Jules. So figure out what you want and how you want it and get back to me. Because even though I might always love you, I can't wait around for you forever."

Julie felt his final words like the slam of a door shutting. She didn't know if she could get the door open again. And she suddenly found that she was too tired and overwhelmed to think about it any more. She leaned her head against the passenger window and tried not to cry.

-/-/-/-

The whole way home, Julie's thoughts twisted up and turned over on the topic of how to tell Jax his mother murdered his high school sweet heart and wife. Tim's words echoed in her mind. She drove by Jax's four times but she couldn't pull in, instead she ended up at the cemetery where all of Jax's dead are clumped together like some ghoulish clique.

Julie traced her fingers over the new gravestone. Wife and mother.

"I don't really no why I am here. We both know there was real no love lost between us but I figured out your mystery and I know who killed you. I want to find justice for you, but that's just my Daddy in me. There's right and wrong and nothing is gray."

Julie eased herself down so her back was resting against the stone. She was careful to keep herself off the grave itself. "That's all Jax is though gray, tired washed out grayness. I'm not sure how to tell him. He said he wanted justice for your sweet boys and I hope that's still true when he knows the monster living under his roof is very real and someone he loves."

"I just wanted you to know your truth is known. I respect your place in his heart. I'd never try to change it. Just know if I can't get Gemma behind bars, I will get Jax and your boys away from her so that you may rest in some semblance of peace." Julie stood up and brushed the leaves off her jeans. She walked to her car, giving herself no more excuses or time to think. It was time to tell Jax the cold-hearted, murderous truth.