Ceci n'est pas un rendez-vous.

A/N: Lila needs to tell Vandham something, but it appears he jumped to conclusions. Or was he pushed?

Set just after Chapter 8, hints at a side quest line. Swears, even though Vandham was on his best behavior.

Lila's not Cross, she's not even close, just a helpful NPC with a blue speech bubble. Everything else belongs to the geniuses of MONOLITH SOFT. 2 TP if you can spot the temporal contradiction with a previous story.

Lila peered into the raucous dim space of Armory Pizza. Several tables of Ma-non were singing Happy Birthday. The delicate and intelligent aliens had fallen in love with human culture in a big way. Their pizza obsession was only the most glaring aspect. They'd developed a fancy for human celebrations too. Currently there was a fad for birthday parties, complete with party hats and streamers, although they weren't big fans of cake. So now the pizzeria was offering birthday pizzas with candles. Lila could see lights twinkling from at least one table.

On her own, Lila wouldn't have come near the place. She had met Yuyu through her employee Twyleth, and she still wasn't quite over her death. But this is where Vandham had suggested they meet, and if the rest of the Ma-non were okay with it, who was she to complain.

"Sorry about the noise. I gave you guys a booth in the back. More romantic, or at least more private. I hope it's okay." The young woman seemed almost surprised by the crowds, even though she must be working hard for the continued success of the restaurant. Strange way to describe the atmosphere anyway, "romantic". Lila couldn't remember the new manager's name. Sorrel? Cilantro? She let it slide. She didn't feel like correcting her misconception.

And there he was, taking up most of the booth by himself. A party of one. He patted the space next to him and grinned. Lila sat, not quite at ease, and looked at him with some suspicion. If she hadn't thought it was so important, she would have apologized and left right then and there.

"I was kind of surprised when you called," he said. "Didn't expect you to be so forward. Not that I'm complaining."

Lila's heart sank. Oh dear, please, no. Let her be totally wrong. Let him be totally teasing.

"But it's nice to take a break, off working hours. I'm glad you called."

Lila stopped herself from grinding her teeth. Well, she'd nip this right now, even if she was wrong and ended up looking like a total fool. "This is still work for me, sir. I needed to talk to you about something station related, and I didn't want to wait until Thursday." Thursday being their weekly minimal coffee klatch and invoice review. Lila took a calming breath and willed herself not to say "um" or "er". "This is not a date. Sir." She hadn't stammered, but she couldn't avoid cringing.

Vandham grunted, and it wasn't exactly a pleased grunt. She looked at him dubiously and did not like the look on his face. Oh, he was angry. Rats, she'd rather have had him laugh in her face for being an idiot. But he spoke calmly.

"Well, like I said, a break's fine."

"I'll just tell you and go, sir."

"The hell you will. I haven't had a date walk out on me since freshman year, and I'm not starting now." He'd laid his hand on her arm, firm like an anvil, and she couldn't have walked out even if she'd wanted to, even if she was wearing a baby skell. "At least eat something first. I already ordered one, the Primordia Sunset, suid and rock orange."

"Oh, sort of like Hawaiian. I liked that, back in San Diego."

"I know you did. You always pounced on it when the team ordered take-out. What was the name of that place we ordered from?"

"Olympic Pizza. Close by and fast. Part Greek, part Mexican, not very Italian to be honest."

"Well, this ain't very Italian, but it is tasty. So relax. Eat something, shoot the breeze, and then you can go." He had managed to stop scowling, to her relief. And blushing? She felt really bad now, but she tried her best to relax.

This wasn't the easiest thing to manage. She wanted to launch into her explanation of her work concern, but he was having none of that. "Shut up about that. I am off the clock, dammit, at least for an hour. I'll let you tell me after I've eaten. Maybe."

While they waited for the pizza, conversation had been slow to start. Until they started playing the what-do-you-remember game, about the time they had both been on a short-term project in San Diego. What was the name of the guard who always came by for coffee, unasked? Why did Seaman Cruz always seem to need to make a phone call? How big was the hangar anyway? A dangerous game, actually, because if you remembered too hard, you remembered other things. Like San Diego not existing. The Pacific Ocean not existing. Lila started talking about surfing and suddenly choked, unable to say another word. Vandham switched topics instantly.

"Nice of you, not to ask about the time my other date walked out."

"This is not a date, sir," Lila said in a small voice.

"Friday night, pizza, girl. And not a date. How sorry-ass is my life?"

"Nonsense. I'm sorry for the confusion, but it really isn't that bad."

"Well, not as bad as that first date. You want to hear disaster? I'll tell ya about it." The pizza had arrived, and Lila was content to listen and eat. Not Hawaiian, being unattractively grey, but it was good, salty and sweet.

"So I was 14, and dumb as a box of rocks."

"I thought you meant freshman year in college."

"Woman, I had stuff figured out by then," he said in an aggrieved tone. "But freshman year of high school, well, I was the dumbest thing on two legs. Complete jackass."

"Hard to imagine, sir," she said with a repressed smile.

"You'd think, right, with how smooth I've turned out?" He grinned himself. "It took me most of the year to get up the nerve to ask a girl out. I didn't want my voice to break smack in the middle of the request." He mimicked a reedy young voice. "So, um, er, squawk, you wanna go to the da-squawk-aance?" They both had to laugh.

"Anyway, I picked a real peach. Smart and a year older than me and miles better developed. Really better developed."

"I can see problems already."

"Yeah, no kidding. She hauled off and slapped me within the first hour."

"What did you DO?"

"Why does everyone assume I was the guilty party?"

Lila just peered up at him seriously, trying very hard not to laugh.

Vandham spoke with eyes round and innocent. "I just asked her why she bothered with good grades when she was built the way she was. It was meant to be a compliment."

Lila's jaw dropped.

"I think I also gestured, to clarify my point."

Lila lost the fight against the giggles. After a moment, she sighed and said, "I may just have to slap you again, sir, in solidarity."

"Don't bother. She was the relief pitcher for the girls' j/v softball team."

"Oooooh, that must have smarted a bit."

"It hurt like hell, and I deserved it. It got worse, though."

"Don't tell me. She had a brother."

"No, when I said worse, I meant it. She had a sister. Queen of the school, popular doesn't even begin to describe it. Cheerleader, school council, yearbook. She ruled the school with a kind but firm hand. I didn't get a date for 3 years."

"Wow."

"Yeah. None of the girls gave me the time of day. A few boys stopped talking to me too. You did not mess with her little sister."

"Poor baby. Should I feel sorry for you?"

"Naw, that's okay. I felt plenty sorry for myself at the time."

"So, are you telling me you didn't date until college?"

"Naw, I fixed it, but it almost killed me."

"Tell me. Please."

Vandham sighed. It really must have been hard, she thought. "Toward the end of junior year, I was feeling just a little desperate. Here I was, 17 and still pretty much an outcast. I had grown about 6 inches and made varsity, did I mention that?"

"Oh. Football."

"No way. You think Momma was going to let me risk getting a concussion? Hell no. She chewed the coach out just for asking me to try out freshman year. That was a sight to behold."

"So…"

"Wrestling," he said, with remembered satisfaction. "I got pretty good at it too. Wanna see what I remember?"

Lila sat up very straight. "No, thank you, sir."

"Didn't think so. Shoot. Well, that's pretty much the trend for this evening. So anyway, there I was, looking at one more year of the cold shoulder and I finally was desperate enough to try something I thought I'd never do."

"What?"

He smiled, very broadly. "I asked my mom for advice."

Lila blinked at him, then joined him in laughter. "Oh dear, you were hopeless."

"I was not. Just slow. She told me a number of things I should have figured out for myself and then ordered me, ORDERED me, to apologize to that poor girl. In public. Abjectly. Which I did, in the middle of the library at the end of study period. So that everyone could hear. And I did not run out of the building when I was done. I walked, and I kept walking the rest of the day. No running, no matter how much I wanted to."

"Again, wow. That actually shows some class."

"You sound surprised. I'm a little hurt, to be honest."

"I've met some teenage boys in my life. They're generally not synonymous with class. So this good deed did the trick?"

"Yup. I was back in, and the last year was some kind of fun, I'll tell ya."

"I do not want to know."

"God, you're a killjoy. Nothing happened, much, it was that kind of high school, all about grades and rank. Girls had too much sense to waste much time on us guys. College was even more fun, I'll tell you that much."

"Let me repeat, do not want to know."

"Your loss." Lila didn't feel like she'd lost much. The pizza was mostly gone, and somehow they had made it through a very awkward evening. "Now, your turn."

"I don't have any good high school stories."

"No, I meant, whatever it was you wanted to dump on me at the beginning. Tell me your troubles."

Lila was surprised that she had forgotten that. She supposed dinner had been more enjoyable than she expected. She quickly told him the details.

"Price's team, sir. They've supposedly been patrolling the shores between Primordia and Oblivia, keeping the forfex population down. You know how they get out of hand along Northpointe Beach."

"I do indeed. What the hell do you know about indigen management?"

"Somebody told me. Probably some Interceptors. People kill time while we're getting their skells ready, and I'm interested. Refueling is not exactly stimulating work. Anyway, Price's team was supposed to be doing that but I don't think they have been."

"What makes you say that? A crystal ball?"

"Really, sir, would I bother you for no good reason? There's something wrong about their fuel usage. If they really were patrolling where they say they've been patrolling, the burn rate would have been way different. We've been extra careful about this sort of thing ever since, well, ever since the station was accused of fuel theft."

"In other words, you've had a stick up your butt about the whole thing since Lara Mara shut you down."

"That was not our fault, and you know that. But yes, we've been extra extra careful."

"I'll bet. Drain any tanks lately?"

"Yes, it's included that sometimes. And how do you know?"

"Probably some Interceptors. People tell me things when I'm working them over."

"Sir," she said reproachfully. But a quick look at him told her that he was paying close attention. "If we have the time, we'll drain the occasional tank to make sure that the usage matches what's there. Cross it with rising energy mist, and you'll be pleased to hear that we've never come up against an anomaly."

"I'm beside myself."

"Until Price's team. He's got more fuel that he should. Not much, but more. He should have used more, for fighting and maneuvering."

"An easy time, fighting on foot?" suggested Vandham.

"Once or twice, maybe, but not day in and day out. His team doesn't strike me as much for ground combat anyway."

Vandham grunted, indicating that he didn't think too much of that either. "So, what's the panic about it?"

"I finally had the idea to check the flight module lines. The team hasn't been maneuvering or fighting, but they certainly have been flying long distances. The lines show constant, steady usage."

"That burns plenty of fuel. You just said…"

"Long distance, low altitude ocean flight doesn't." She looked at him expectantly.

"Aw shit, you think they haven't been anywhere near Northpointe."

"I think they started there, and just kept going. I tried to analyze the sand off their treads, but I don't know enough to tell you much."

"What, you have a microscope in that shack of yours?"

She shrugged. "All I know is, they haven't been doing what they say they've been doing and they have been going long distances for something else."

"And the panic?"

"Two reasons. Mostly, I know the team that's headed there starting tomorrow. Pathfinders, when it really should be Interceptors. A new bunch, with a loaner as their heavy hitter. Kid named Case."

"She's a baby herself."

"Well, the job isn't that hard, provided that somebody's been keeping up with the population. If they haven't, then it could be really bad."

"So tell them."

"You think I didn't do that? Robert didn't listen. And why should he? I didn't go into the whole Price isn't using fuel thing, because, well, really, it seems wrong to tell everybody."

"You're telling me about it."

"It's your job to know things. And you're good at ignoring unimportant stuff, in case I'm dead wrong. Please, give them a warning. Send some backup. Do something."

"I'll think of something. What's the other reason?"

"Price is lying, and I'm worried. I doubt he's developing a petting zoo in Sylvalum."

"Do not tell me you are asking me to accept a gut feeling."

"A feeling based on a lot of inconsistent facts and efforts to hide the truth. Maybe it is something delightful, but we're running on such slim margins, sir…" Lila stopped short. She didn't want to mention the numbers on BLADE tower, or her speculation as to just what was counting down.

Vandham grunted, noncommittally. "I'll talk to Robert, make sure he's sending enough weight with Case and crew, just in case. Beyond that, I'll think about what you said. That it?"

"Yes, sir. That was all. I really didn't want to wait."

"You could have called me."

"I did. I left a message. You said to meet me here."

"Wait a second. What exactly was your message?"

"That I needed to talk to you, ASAP."

Vandham swore, and not delicately. "I have been set up. God dammit, we've been set up. I am going to wring some necks back at barracks."

"What?"

"Little Miss Lin Lee Koo told me to show up here, because… well, never mind that. That damn brat."

Lila was blushing furiously now.

"I'm going to have to apologize to you. Sorry, Lila, I was way off base at the start."

"It's all right, sir. I enjoyed the pizza."

"And the company? Admit it, it was okay."

"Yes, sir. And the company. Thank you for listening. I'm sorry I took so much of you time."

"Not a problem. If you got any ideas on getting even with Lin, shoot them to me. Need an escort home?"

"No, I'm fine." Even if it killed her, she'd make it home on her own.

"Tough. You're getting one. I'm going your way, and you're taking it."

He'd left her at her shack/office/home. "See ya when I see ya. I'll let you know about anything interesting. Maybe we can have pizza again."

"I'd like that. Good night, Commander."

"Bye, Lila," he called over his shoulder.

Now why was she regretting not giving him a goodnight kiss? Stupid, stupid thought, since it hadn't been a date. Completely out of line. Pointless. Better to focus on the two skells waiting for refueling. Lila went inside to put on some coveralls so she could get a few more hours of work done.

A/n: Another story set in a restaurant. Maybe I shouldn't write when hungry. Meanwhile, the self-control of these two is getting ridiculous.

Written long before "Happy New New Year", as a result of which the "date" on the Ma-non ship somehow occurs both before (Yuyu is alive) and after (this very not-a-date is referenced). I'm not going to fix it, so there. We shall just leave it as "there is something about this planet." Award yourself 2 TP.

Next up: the most unlikely date on Mira happens (well, if you don't count the doomed ship of Gwin/Irina, I so wish, but no). We demands more fluff, and we shall haves it, my precious.