I am holding onto my mom for dear life as the tears fall freely from my face. I can feel that my shoulder is becoming wet from her tears as well. About another thirty seconds passes before her arms loosen around me. I pull back and sit up as I open my eyes and wipe the tears off of my face. She does the same thing as her hands come to cup both sides of my face. She looks at me for a second and then a huge smile spreads across her face. "You look so much like me." she says wistfully and then laughs a little.

I let out a tiny laugh of my own and then wipe away the few tears that have escaped. "Dad always said that I look just like you."

That was definitely the wrong thing to say. The smile on her face completely disappears as she seems to come back down to reality. She drops her eyes from mine and then I look behind her to see Lucian putting his glasses back on his face. His cheeks are wet like he was crying, but I can't be sure. I look back to her face and she looks down at her hands in her lap. "Mom," I say pleadingly, "I am so sorry. I didn't know any better." I say to her.

She looks back up to me with a confused look on her face and says, "What are you talking about?"

"When he took me. I didn't know." I say looking worriedly at her. She has to know that I am sorry. "He told me that he was my father and that we were going to go surprise you because you thought he was dead. I didn't know that he would never let me see you again. If I did know, I wouldn't have gone with him." My eyebrows are pushed together with worry of her rejection that I am afraid will come from her. "I am so sorry, Mom. You have to know that."

She smiles gently at me and then brushes some hair out of my face. "I don't blame you, Clary." she says softly to me. "You were just a child."

"So you're not mad at me?" I ask sounding very worried.

"Of course not, Clary." Her tone is reasurring and I let a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth. "But I do have one question." she says and then her face turns serious. "What are you doing here now?"

I instantly look up to Jace who is still just inside the threshold of the door and he gives me a small nod of encouragement before he speaks. "Can we come in?" Jace asks her and she looks over to him as if just remembering that he was here. "As comfortable as the floor looks, the conversation she wants to have with you will be a long one and everyone will probably be more comfortable sitting in chairs."

"And who are you?" she asks him; her voice a little indignant.

"I am Clary's boyfriend." he says and then looks at me with a small smile. She looks back to me and I look to her waiting for her response. "Okay." she says and then starts to stand up with help from Lucian's hand. I see a hand come right in front of my face and realize that Jace is offering to help me up from the floor. I take his hand and stand up as I notice someone standing behind me. I turn to see Simon, who I had completely forgotten about, looking at me with a look of shock. "Are you the Simon that was my best friend when we were kids?"

The corner of his mouth turns up in a little smile as he says, "Are you the Clary that I saw talking to your imaginary father and then I watched magically disappear as you walked away on the playground?"

I smile widely and laugh a little. Simon is a mundane and wouldn't have been able to see Father who was glamoured that day. "That's me." I say with a smile and then he smiles widely back at me and then suddenly hugs me. His arms come around me and I lightly hug him back for a second. He pulls back and holds me at arms length and looks me up and down. "I am just so glad that I am not crazy. Everyone said that I was crazy when I said you just disappeared right in front of my eyes."

"That is because my father was glamoured."

"What does that mean?" he asks questioningly. I thought Mom would have told Simon about the shadow world, but I guess she didn't. "Well, it's hard to explain." I say and look nervously to Jace and then back to Simon. "So you really were with your father the whole time? No one believed Jocelyn when she said that."

I give him a small nod and purse my lips a little at the mention of that. I can see from the corner of my eye that my mom has tensed at the mention of Father and I look over to her. "Can I..?" I ask and then motion towards the living room. She nods her head and then starts to move towards the living room with Lucian staying put and waiting for Jace and I to start moving. I can tell he still doesn't trust us and would rather not have his back turned to us. I start to follow mom and feel Jace's hand lightly on the small of my back as he follows behind. I hear Lucian shut the door and then two sets of footsteps follow behind us.

The first set are light and purposeful. They are obviously Lucian's. The second set are heavier and more clumsy and I immediately know they are Simon's. Apparently he never grew out of his awkward clumsy phase he was in when I was taken.

The place opens up as we enter the living room and I look around to see that pretty much nothing has changed. I smile a little as I see the same tan comfortable couch and look around the corner to where my room was. The door is open and I see that my bed is gone and has been replaced with an art studio. For some reason, that bothers me more than it probably should. Knowing that she replaced all of my stuff and bed and things with art supplies tugs a little at my heart.

I tear my eyes away and sit down on the tan couch and Jace sits down next to me. He reaches over and grabs my hand and pulls it into his lap. I almost pull it back when I remember that I am supposed to be madly in love with him. So much so, that I ran away from my evil-doer father and (according to Father) my psychotic brother.

I look across the coffee table and look at my mother as she sits on the mis-matched floral love seat directly in front of us and take a deep breath. She looks up at me and the look on her face is one I can't read. It looks like she wants to smile and hug me and cry with me, but at the same time, her face is tight and guarded and she looks like she is waiting for the other shoe to fall. So, I start off with what she is probably worried about. "Valentine isn't here and he doesn't know that I am either." I say quickly.

She looks at me like she doesn't believe me and I reiterate it. "I ran away with Jace." I say and look to him sitting next to me on the couch. "Father is..." I say and look down at Jace and I's hands, "not a good person." I look back up to her and I can tell that she sees that I truly mean that. That I believe that he is a bad person, which I do.

"I know." she responds and Lucian puts an arm around her shoulder. I briefly wonder if they are together and then push it aside as I have more important things to worry about. "That is why I ran and hid from him. I knew that he was crazy for power and would do anything to get it. Even destroy my life and your life to get it."

I take a deep breath and look back at her. "And he hasn't changed at all." I tell her somberly and Jace gives my hand a tight squeeze. I don't know if it is meant to be comforting or if he wants me to get on with the 'story'. Probably the latter. "He was...difficult to grow up with." I tell her with a grave face. "Always demanding that I be better and quicker and smarter. Never being good enough and never showing me anything close to real fatherly love. The kind of love that you gave me."

She brings a hand up and wipes away a tear that escaped her eye and then puts her hands back in her lap. "When I met Jace, here," and I look over to him and we smile gently at each other as I finish my sentence, "I knew that I couldn't stay with him any longer." I look back to my mom and she is studying the both of us intensely. "He and Jonathan helped me escape. I haven't exactly been allowed to go out in public a lot growing up. I can count on two hands how many times I was allowed to go in public before I left."

Mom's face grows serious and she suddenly leans forward towards me and says, "Did you just say Jonathan?" she asks and I can hear the surprise in her voice mixed with a ton of other emotions that I can't pick out all at once. Jace gives my hand a tight squeeze because I have gone radically off script. Jonathan is supposed to be scary and undoubtedly a villain in my story, but I don't care. I can't do that to Jonathan. He deserves better after all of the progress he has made and all of the hard decisions to be good that he has to make everyday that go against his nature.

I square my shoulders and look her straight in the eye. "Yes. Jonathan. Your son." My voice is defensive and stern. "The one you rejected." I feel like I have to defend him now against whatever she may think of him.

"So he for sure didn't die in the fire." she asks me and I shake my head no. "He is alive and well." I tell her and Lucian actually looks genuinely surprised by this news. Mom looks a little less shocked. "I wasn't sure." she says as she sits back and her eyes drift off. She looks like she is somewhere else and remembering something that happened long ago. It is quiet for a minute and I lean forward to speak again.

My voice is confident and full of fevor when I speak. "He's not what you think he is, Mom." I tell her and she snaps back into reality and looks directly at me. "He is different, but he is not purely evil like you probably think. I have helped him over the years find his humanity. He can love, although he doesn't love easily, he does have the ability. He loves me and I love him. He is my brother and we are all each other has had in the hell that Father created. He has protected me more times than I can count."

Mom's brows are furrowed in deep thought as she listens to me so I decide to continue. I pull my hand out of Jaces and place then in front of me in my lap as I scoot to the edge of the couch. "He struggles everyday, but with my help, he has managed to be okay. More like everyone else. If he didn't have me there growing up, I am positive that I wouldn't be saying these things about him. He would be cold, hard, and unfeeling. But he did have me there with him. To teach him how to love and be kind and understanding. I am not saying that these things come naturally to him or are easy for him, but he does practice them with me. I keep him sane and he does the same for me. You have to believe me."

She sits back against the cushions of the couch and seems to take what I said into consideration. I know Jace is probably completely lost right now. He has no idea what Father did to me or Jonathan or even himself with our blood. Mom brings her hand up and touches her mouth in an unconscious gesture I vaguely remember her doing when she was thinking. Lucian looks to her and he looks like he wants to say something but is unsure if he should. After a few seconds, he does. "Maybe you were wrong, Jocelyn." She looks over to him and then back to me and studies me for a second. "So he can be taught to love and to care?"

I smile just a little. "Yes. He can. It's not easy for him but he does have the ability to love and to care for something other than himself." I smile a little bigger now. "I wish you could see him." I say a little excitedly. "You would be so proud of him at how well he has coped with it."

She doesn't smile back but looks at me more closely. "Is he here?" she asks cautiously.

"No. He's with Father still."

"Is there a chance I could maybe see him?"

This time, my smile does falter. "Maybe one day." I tell her and her face falls from the slightly expectant look she has on her face. "He has always felt betrayed that you rejected him from the day he was born because he was just a baby."

She seems to take in this information like someone would take in learning new subject. Her face is more logical than emotional as we talk about him and for some reason, that pisses me off. Her face shifts then as she sits forward a little. "You still haven't told me why you are here?" she asks and whatever expression was on my face gets washed away and replaced with the hurt that I feel when she says that. I know that there is a reason why I came here but at the same time, I really did just want to see her again. Yes, I was terrified like I still am, but all I have wanted to do since the day Father took me is see her again.

I sit back and Jace wraps his arm around my shoulder. "I just...I thought maybe we could have a relationship. Now that I am no longer with Dad." I look back to Jace and he gives me a small smile of encouragement and I look back to her. "I have wanted to come back since the day he took me, I just didn't know how. I know you are probably really skeptical of me coming back but...I missed you, Mom." My voice cracks a little on the last part and I kind of hiccup the next breath in. "The first few days after he took me were horrible." I allow myself to go back to that horrible time. "I would cry and cry for you and at first, Father was nice. He would hold me and comfort me and tell me everything was okay. But he eventually got tired of that. After the first couple of days, he would get angry with me and..." I look down at my hands in my lap that are gripping each other tightly, "then he started to hit me when I wouldn't stop crying. I would go into Jonathan's room at night and at first he would tell me to get out." I let a little laugh escape my mouth at the memory of his little angry six year old face. "Then, after a few days, he let me climb into bed with him and we would sleep together. I think he let me stay the first night just so I would shut up and stop crying." I smile and let out another laugh. "But one day, when I was crying after father hit me for dropping a sword, Jonathan came over to me and hugged me. It was the first time he showed empathy towards anyone or anything."

My smile completely leaves my face as the memory of what happens next washes over me. "So he punished Jonathan for comforting me." I look up to mom then and her hand is covering her mouth and her brows are furrowed as she listens. It looks like she is slightly scared of what I am saying and what I am about to say. "He took him to the basement and chained him up... and whipped him with demon metal. He had just turned seven the day before."

Lucian, Mom, and even Jace suck in a startled breath. Jace sits up just a little, still with his arm around my shoulder, and looks pointedly at me. "Is that what those scars are all over his back?" I nod grimly and then his brows furrow with disgust and he leans back against the couch. "I didn't know what that was. I mean, there isn't one part of his back that isn't scar tissue."

"Like I said, I couldn't stay there anymore." I tell her as another tear escapes her face.

She wipes it away and moves her hand away from her mouth. She looks a little scared and unsure and I realize she wants to ask me something. "Did...did he ever do that to you?"

I shake my head no. "He tried to, once." I tell her and she visibly flinches. "But Jonathan stepped in the way and took the hits for me. Father actually whipped him twice as much because he disobeyed him and didn't allow him to whip me. After that, he would threaten to whip Jonathan if I messed up or disobeyed him and he would threaten Jonathan that he would whip me if he disobeyed him or he messed up somehow." I take a deep breath and look at Lucian's angry face. "He used our love for each other against us."

"Stop." Mom says and then she stands up with a small hiccup of breath and turns and leaves the room hurriedly and heads for the kitchen. Lucian stands up quickly and follows her. I bring my hands up to my face and rub it for a second. "He sounds like a monster." a deep voice says from a little behind me and to the left. I turn around quickly and see Simon standing in the corner of the room with an angry look on his face. I had completely forgotten he was still here. "I can see why your mother ran." he adds on and I turn around and sag against the couch.

"Can you give us a minute." Jace says and I realize he is talking to Simon. After a second, I hear his clumsy shuffle of feet leave the room and Jace sits up and turns to look at me. "What are you doing, Clary?" he asks in a slightly accusatory tone. "I couldn't lie about Jonathan." I tell him as I look into his eyes. "I just couldn't. He has already been through too much and I would be doing him a great injustice if I were to tell her what he wanted me to tell her." My voice is pleading with him to understand.

He furrows his brows together for a moment and then seems to make up his mind. "Okay." he says after a minute. "I understand. I don't blame you either." he says as he sits back in his spot next to me. "What Father did...its inexcusable. But there is something I don't understand." Jace looks at me and I turn my head and look at him. "Why did your mother think he was evil when he was born? What you were saying, it makes sense but then again, it doesn't. I knew that there was something different about Jonathan, but I have no idea what it could be."

I look away from him and down at my hands in my lap. I don't know if I should tell him about me and Jonathan and him. I want to, but Father would be unbelievably furious. Actually, he already will be when he finds out that I went off of his carefully thought out 'script'. You know what, fuck him. I have let him control every aspect of my life for way too long. He certainly doesn't deserve the loyalty that I have shown him. I know that Jonathan and I are planning to take the Clave away from him when he finally takes it over, but who says we have to wait till then? I look back up to Jace who is still looking at me expectantly like he is waiting for me to tell him what the deal is with Jonathan. "I will tell you later." I say lowly to him. "It actually involves me and you too."

"Me?" he says incredulously.

"Like I have said," I tell him, "there is a lot you don't know about me and about yourself, for that matter."

"What is that supposed to mean?" he whispers almost sounding angry and then I hear footsteps coming back out and into the living room. "Later." I say under my breath and Jace quickly leans back and puts his arm around my shoulders.

Mom comes back into the living room with a tear soaked tissue with Lucian following closely behind and instead of sitting in her previous spot on the love seat across from me, she comes and sits down beside me on the couch. She positions her body to face mine and I mimic her actions. I turn my torso and legs to face her direction and Jace takes his arm from around my shoulders. She reaches out and takes my hands into hers and the contact almost makes me cry.

I look up to her and meet her eyes as she looks deeply into mine. "I am so sorry, baby." she says with a sniffle. Her chin starts to shake a little with her effort not to cry and her hands squeeze mine gently. "I am so sorry that I wasn't there to protect you."

"And Jonathan." I add on a little upset that she didn't.

"And Jonathan." she says and she looks a little mad at herself for not saying his name at first. "I should have been there to protect the both of you from him. I shouldn't have pushed Jonathan away like I did. I should have given him a chance." She drops her eyes from mine and looks down looking a little ashamed. "If what you are telling me is true about Jonathan, then I will never forgive myself for leaving him behind, even though I thought he was probably dead."

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly and she looks back up to me with a small smile. "I really am so happy to see you." she says as one of her hands leaves mine and she places it on my cheek. "I have dreamed about this day for over a decade. I always hoped that you would maintain your sense of right and wrong after living with Valentine for all of these years. I worry that he has corrupted your way of thinking."

She drops her hand from my face and I take another deep breath. "He tried and I managed to fool him for a long time." I tell her as she hangs onto every word. "He still wants to rid the world of downworlders and put himself in charge of the Clave." I glance at Lucian who doesn't seem to flinch at my words and then back to my mom. "But Jonathan and I don't feel the same way that he does about them. We never have."

She looks over to Lucian like she is worried about him and then back to me. "Is that part of the reason why you left?"

"It is one of them." I tell her and then feel Jace's hand on my back like he is comforting me. "I honestly just couldn't take any of it anymore. He was trying to marry me off to an influential family so I could strengthen his 'relations', as he says, and make the circle stronger. He wasn't letting me have a say in it. The first guy actually tried to grope me in the first five minutes of meeting. Jonathan saw and stabbed him in the hand for it. And then there are Father's sick experiments." I say and I shiver a little at the thought of them. My face falls and becomes very serious as does my voice. "He kidnaps downworlders and experiments on them."

Lucian stiffens a little where he is standing beside Mom and looks intensely at me. His face is tight and slightly angry but is more inquisitive than anything else. "What kind of experiments?" she asks and I swallow hard. "For example," I say as I drop my eyes for second to gather my strength as the memory of the sight of the poor vampire comes flooding back. "he once kept a vampire for five years and would immerse him in holy water and watch and see how long it took for him to grow his skin back."

"My God." Lucian says and mom's face turns angry as her lips purse tightly and I decide to continue. "He repeated this process continually for those five years. He starved him to see if it had any effect on him and then he overfed him blood to see how that would help. But he never stopped immersing him in the water. The moment he was healed, he would dunk him back in."

"Why didn't you help him?" Lucian says accusingly and I look over to him.

"Because when he took me and showed me his 'experiments', he blindfolded me so I wouldn't know where we were going." I say defensively. "Most of what I know about his experiments are from the journals that Father writes endlessly in. Jonathan and I take them and read them when he isn't home. And anyway," I say sounding angry, "when he wrote in his journal that he was going to move the vampire to a new place, Jonathan went and gave him a stake to kill himself with because he knew where that place was. It was the kindest thing he could do for him. If he were to set him free, Father would have immediately become suspicious and eventually found out that it was Jonathan who gave him the stake that he killed himself with and know that we had read his journals." I look back to my mother then and I am sure my face is defensive. "We did what we could without getting caught."

"I am sure you did." Mom says as she shoots Lucian a quick glance. I look over to him and he looks at me. "I am assuming you are Lucian." I say to him. We haven't exactly been introduced yet. "You were Father's parabatai before you became a werewolf."

"A werewolf!" I hear Simon shout from the hallway. We all look over to see him come into view with a very shocked look on his face as he looks at Lucian.

"Simon," mom says sounding exasperated as she pinches the bridge of her nose, "I told you to go home."

"There was no way I was leaving when my long lost childhood friend shows up out of the blue and then burns her mother's skin with some pencil thing and then you start talking about demons and vampires..." he looks at Lucian and points his finger at him, "and are you really a werewolf?"

Lucian stands up and walks over to him with a very fatherly look on his face and puts his hand on his shoulder. "If I promise to tell you everything, will you leave and come back for dinner?"

Simon looks like he wanted to protest but Lucian levels his eyes at him and then he turns around as he says, "You are so telling me everything at dinner."

They disappear around the corner and mom turns around to face me with a tiny amused smile on her face. "Why is he here?" I ask her sounding very confused. Her smile gets even bigger then. "He came back two times a week after your father took you to check on me. He said that he didn't want me to be lonely. Simon would come over and show me his comic books and play board games with me. I could never really get rid of him." She chuckles a little as she looks like she is thinking about the past.

"Well I am glad that you had him." I say as Lucian comes back into the room. Mom looks over at him as he runs his hand through his dark brown hair. "We are going to have to answer a whole lot of questions." he says with a slightly worried and overwhelmed look on his face. She laughs at the expression and her whole face lights up when she does. When she looks back down, she looks past me and at Jace who has remained uncharacteristically quiet. "Since we are doing introductions now, what is your name?"

I turn my body back and look at Jace as he sits forward a little. "I'm Jace Wayland." and he offers his hand out to shake hers.

"Wayland?" she asks sounding a little hesitant as she shakes his hand.

"Yes." he says shortly and then pulls his hand back. "My father was murdered by circle members when I was ten and then I was sent to live with the Lightwoods who run the New York Institute."

Mom and Lucian look at each other as she says, "Maryse and Robert."

"That's them." Jace says with a slightly defensive voice. He loves the Lightwoods dearly and doesn't want to hear anyone talk bad about them, like I am sure he thinks that my mom wants to by her reaction. "I was raised along with their three kids."

She looks back to him and smiles a little. "How is little Alec? Him and Jonathan are the same age and would play together when they were babies."

"He isn't so little anymore." he says and her face falls just a little.

"No, he wouldn't be, would he?"

I look up to Lucian and make eye contact with him. "So, I'm right, aren't I? You're Lucian."

He nods his head and says, "You can call me Luke."

"Okay, Luke." I say and give him a tiny smile that he returns.

"So," mom says as she looks back to Jace, "how long have you known my daughter?"

Jace then looks to me and smiles softly. "It seems like it has only been a week, but in reality, we met about three months ago." I narrow my eyes at him infinitesimally at his own little joke about how long we have known each other and look back to my mom.

"If Valentine never let you out of the house, then how did the two of you meet?" she asks with a little doubt in her voice.

"He never let me go out in public." I tell her as clarification. "He let me have friends that he approved of. They were all circle member's kids of course. But I had snuck out when I met Jace. My friend was having a party in Allicante and Jace was there. And no, I know what you are thinking." I look pointedly at her. "The Lightwoods are not still part of the circle. Jace just happened to be invited by someone else and came as her date. He had no idea about the circle."

She looks a little relieved when I say that and seems to relax a little. "So, are you two serious?" she then asks getting to the point. I look back to Jace who has a soft smile on his face and turns his eyes to mine. "I have never felt so strongly about anyone, ever." he says with surprising fervor. Jace is really good at this pretending to be in a relationship thing.

I give him a small smile as I think I would have done if we were really in a real relationship and then turn back to see my mom studying us."And he was the one to help you get away from your father?"

"Yes. He and Jonathan helped me." Jace reaches out and takes my hand. "Jonathan found a warlock to put a kind of block on me so Father couldn't find me. And Jace, he helped hide me for the past month. I think he suspects that I am with Jace so we have been moving around a lot and are staying in a hotel instead of the Institute with his family."

"Well if you are hiding from him," Mom says with a slight furrow of her brows, "then why did you come here? He knows where I live. Aren't you afraid that he will come looking for you here?"

I look down at my hands and Jace's other hand comes up to rub my back in a show of comforting me. "Because I wanted to see you." I turn my face back up and look at her. "I have wanted to see you since the day he took me. I wanted you to know that I was alive and that I was okay and that he didn't win. I am not a monster like him." My voice is full of the truth and honesty of my words. Most everything I have said to her has been the truth. The only thing that I have lied to her about is my relationship with Jace. I may have omitted a few things, albeit very important things, but everything I have said has been from the heart and exactly what I have felt for the past almost fourteen years.

She looks at me and starts to smile. I can see tears forming in her eyes as she reaches up to touch my face. I unconsciously lean into her hand and bring one of mine up to hold it to my face. "I missed you so much, Mom." I say and she gives me a full smile. She pulls me to her and hugs me tightly and I do the same. I wrap my arms around her shoulders and close my eyes tightly as I lose myself in her embrace.

Everything about her is familiar and I find it hard to believe that I ever forgot anything about her. She radiates love and warmth and everything Father never did. Jonathan did do that somewhat in his own way, but never like this. I can't believe that I have made it so long without feeling such unconditional love. The feeling is so overwhelming and I squeeze her a little tighter to me.

I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can get the cup from her and give it to Valentine. It would destroy her and I could never have a relationship with her. Now that she is right in front of me and holding me, there is nothing I want more than to have her in my life. I want Jonathan to forgive her and for him to get to know her. I know that that will be an unbelievably long process, but with help from me, I think he would be able to do it. He needs more people in his life to love him and support him and so do I. What I don't need is a power hungry, egotistical, narcissistic, sick and twisted mass murderer to order me around.

There has to be another way to do this. There has to be a way for Jonathan and I to do this without Father's help and have Mom in my life. I can't take it from her and give it to him. I know that the Clave has to be rebuilt from the ground up to get rid of outdated and completely unfair policies and I want to help do it. I don't feel like my mother should have to hide because she doesn't want to be a part of the Clave. Usually, they would strip her of her runes and toss her out to fend for herself since she decided to leave and that is monstrous. I don't feel like if you fall in love with mundane, you should have to chose between them and being Nephilim if your spouse doesn't want to drink from the Mortal Cup. I think that the downworlders should have a seat on the council so they can represent themselves instead of us making decisions without consulting them and then enforcing whatever new law that we have come up with. There are so many things that need to be changed and I know that Jonathan and I can do it.

I pull back and look at her in the eyes and she leans forward and gives me a lingering kiss on my forehead like she used to when I was little. I open my mouth to say I want to have a relationship with her more than anything when the phone that Jonathan gave me lets out a loud ring. My Mom and I jump a little and we both let out a little laugh. I reach into my pocket and pull it out and look back up to her and say, "It's Jonathan." Her eyes widen a little and she freezes for a second before I continue. "I have to take this." I tell her and then stand up and start to head for the hallway. I swipe the screen to answer it and bring to my ear. "Hello."

"Hey babe. Sorry I couldn't talk earlier." Jonathan says on the other end of the line and I smile when I hear his voice.

"That's okay." I tell him as I step out onto the landing of the apartment and shut the door. "It's just so good to hear your voice. I miss you so much." My voice is slightly sad and I hope he can tell that I mean that.

I can hear the smile on his lips as he says, "I miss you too." There is a pause for a second before he speaks again. "So how'd it go? Did you meet Jocelyn yet?"

"I am actually at her apartment right now." I say as I look back to the door.

"You're there right now?" he asks in surprise.

"Yeah. I stepped out onto the landing of the apartment so I could talk to you."

"Did she know it was me calling?" I know he is concerned about me telling her the lies that father wanted me to tell about him.

"Jonathan, I completely went off script." I tell him nervously.

"What do you mean 'you went off script'?" he asks with concern lacing his voice.

I bite the inside of my cheek nervously for a second and then answer him. "I couldn't lie about you." I tell him quickly. "I just couldn't do it. I couldn't tell her that you were the monster that Father wanted me to make you out to be. You have come too far and worked too hard to be better for me that I couldn't do you the injustice of lying about how wonderful I think you are." I really hope he isn't mad at me. I don't think I can do this without him.

The other end of the line is quiet for a while and I get a little scared. "Please don't be mad at me, Jonathan." I say worriedly. "I'm not mad." I hear him say and I let out the breath I was unconsciously holding. "I am just surprised. What did she say when you told her whatever you told her?"

"I just told her the truth about you. That you can love. That you protected me when we were growing up and that you still do. I told her that while it may be hard for you, that you do practice the softer emotions. That with my help, you haven't turned into the monster that Valentine wanted."

"I don't know about that, Clary." he says unsurely. I hate that he doubts himself like he does. It is because of Father constantly telling him that he is incapable of love and that he will only destroy whatever he touches.

"Well I do know, Jonathan." I say earnestly. "I know you, better than anyone, and I know that you do love me. I know that you would do anything for me. I see it in your eyes when you look at me. You are so amazingly strong because you fight against what Father made you everyday, and you win." It is quiet for a few seconds. "I love you, Jonathan. Always have and always will. There is nothing you can do about it. And I know that if you gave Mom a chance, that you would be able to have a relationship with her. It may not be perfect or like other mother/son relationships, but I think you should at least try to forgive her."

"I don't think I will ever have enough compassion to forgive her." he says flatly and I completely understand where he is coming from.

"Okay, then. Maybe just be cordial with her." I offer. "Tolerate her presence for me. Maybe after a long while, things can start to change."

"What does this mean for Father's plan?" He asks and I know he is just wanting to change the subject.

"I am not sure yet, but I know that I don't want to give the Mortal Cup to him." I say quickly. "I think we need a new plan. One where we take the cup and reform the Clave."

"I have been saying that we could do that but you shut me down every time I bring it up."

"I know, I know. I don't think we should talk about this right now." I look back up to the door to make sure no one is listening. "Can you get out of the house tonight? I want to talk about this in person."

"Yeah. I still have some of those sleeping pills. Meet me by the creek?"

"I can't wait to see you." I say excitedly. "How does 3:30 a.m. your time sound?"

"Sounds perfect."

"I am going to kiss you so damn hard." I tell him with my sexy voice.

"And I am going to let you."

"I love you." I put all of the love I feel for him in my voice to let him know that I mean what I say.

"I love you too, baby sister." He says baby sister in the way that sends shivers down to my core.

"Bye." I pull the phone away from my ear and smile as I clutch it to my chest for a moment. I collect myself again and open the door and step into the apartment quietly. I can hear talking coming from the living room so I quietly make my way down the hall so I can eavesdrop.

"How did he seem when you met him?" I hear Mom ask someone and I go still around the corner.

"He was a little off putting but Clary seems to help him a lot." Jace says and I suddenly get the feeling that they are talking about Jonathan. "He was nice and made jokes with me. He is a pretty normal guy. I mean, you can tell that he is hiding something dark about himself, but I don't think he lets it control him."

"So you didn't get the feeling that he was evil? That he can't be normal?" I can hear the disbelief and surprise in her voice as she asks Jace this.

"Not really. Especially when he is with Clary. He is very protective of her. There were a few times when I would touch her and I was sure that he was going to kick my ass." Jace lets out a sort of nervous laugh before he continues. I am sure he is remembering the uncountable times that Jonathan put him flat on his back in training. "But she would look pointedly at him or touch his arm, I am assuming to reassure him that everything was okay, and he would instantly calm down and relax."

"Do you think he loves her?" Mom asks. I know that this is the question that she wants the answer to more than any other and I reach my ears out to hear his answer.

"I am sure he does." Jace says and I smile a little. "He looks at her like she hung the moon and stars just for him."

"You hear that?" Luke's voice cuts through the heavy silence and I am sure he is talking to Mom. "He can love."

"Then that makes me a horrible mother." Mom says sounding very remorseful.

"No it doesn't." Luke says in a comforting tone.

"Yes, it does." Her voice is hard and unrelenting in it's point. "I rejected my own son because I thought he was a monster when he was only an infant and I couldn't protect my daughter from her monster of a father. I failed every chance I was given to be a good mother."

I want to step in and disagree with her, but for some reason, I don't. Maybe it's because I am angry with her for rejecting Jonathan before she even gave him a chance. Maybe it's because I am upset that she didn't tell me who I was and had a warlock erase my memory and that she didn't tell me I had a brother. She lied to me and told me my father was dead so when he found me, I didn't know any better and I willingly went with him. The crazy part is, I can't find it in myself to be completely mad or regret that I did go with Father. Jonathan needed me. He probably needed me more than my mother did. I kept him from becoming a monster and I taught him how to love and gave him something to love in me.

Before anyone else can say anything, step forward into the living room and tuck my phone back in my pocket like I am just getting off of it. I look up and give a gentle smile as I look to my mom. "Sorry. We have to talk when we can. He can't always call because of Father."

"Why didn't he come with you then?" Mom's question is a good one, but one I am prepared for.

"He is staying behind to keep an eye on Father. To make sure he doesn't get too close to finding me. He also keeps me informed about what is going on and what he is doing. It can be very helpful because Father trusts Jonathan more than anyone else."

"Is he going to stay with him forever?" she asks. I can see in her eyes that she is still a little hesitant about the idea of me trusting Jonathan because I am sure she doesn't.

"No." I tell her as I walk a little further in the room. I go and sit back down in my spot in between Jace and my mom. "We are still working at getting him out of there. It is too dangerous for him to leave right now. Father would burn down the world to find Jonathan if he left. He knows too much and as I am sure you know, he doesn't like to give up what he thinks is his."

Mom shifts a little in her seat and pushes her hair behind her ear. She looks down at the coffee table and I can see the wheels turning in her head. She is thinking about something. "So, he is working with your Father for the circle?"

I straighten my back a little and when I speak, my voice is a little defensive. "It's not like he has ever had a choice not to work with him. He is grooming him to be his successor, but like I said, Jonathan and I don't believe what he does. He has never harbored any ill will or feelings towards downworlders just like I haven't. Right now though, it makes more sense for him to be there and not with me. If we didn't have his help, then we would have been found a long time ago." I give Jace a quick glance and he offers me a quick smile.

When I turn back to face my mom, she is looking at Lucian. The way he is looking at her... "Are you two together?" I ask and gesture between them. This completely catches her off guard.

"What?" she asks and I can see a slight blush on her cheeks. I smile at this thinking about that she is where I got that trait from. "Me and Luke?" she looks back up to him quickly before looking back at me. "No. We are just friends."

I successfully raise one eyebrow, something I just mastered a few months ago, and look pointedly at her. "Really? You're just friends?" My voice comes out very skeptical.

"Why does everyone have such a hard time believing that two adults can be friends if they are of the opposite sex?" she says indignantly back to me.

Years of being with Jonathan have washed away most of my filter and unfortunately for my mom, she is about to find that out. "Because of the way you look at him and he looks at you."

Luke, who is standing just beside the couch next to my mom, shifts his weight and looks incredibly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. My mom is turning a bright red and I can see that she is cursing her flushed skin by the look in her eyes. I get the same look too when my skin gives away how I feel. I absolutely hate it. "Well," I say as I look to Jace, "now that this is officially awkward, I think now would be a good time to catch up with my mom over some tea." I look back to my mom and see that her face has now dulled to a more subtle pink. "Do you have any?"

"Of course. Let me go put it on." She stands up and starts to walk out.

"As long as it's not Earl Grey. Jace hates bergamont."

"I do hate bergamont." Jace says somberly and I can't help but laugh at just how glum he sounds. I turn and see that his face is scrunched up tightly in a show of disgust and I laugh a little harder before I turn back to my mother. She is studying us and when she sees my smile, she gives me one in return. "Your laugh sounds just like it did when you were five." she says a little wistfully and then leaves the room.