Okay all, this was a bitch to write. I'm pretty happy with it now but man did it go through rewrites. There's still probably issues with it but oh well.

My apologies in advance to a few of you readers. You'll know why by the end.

Please leave a detailed review or a pm. It will help for the next chap.

Thanks.

The silence lingered an incalculable length of time. Riku and Cloud maintain their careful expressions, knowing they were toeing a line that neither was certain they should cross. They each knew what they wanted but there was a third factor that they simply could not deny.

Maybe it would have been easier if they didn't both care for Sora. Cloud adored Sora though he'd never admit to it. The Keyblade Master had shown him it was okay to feel everything. That despite the darkness, light remained. He couldn't help but notice that the tragic element of the whole thing was that it was because of Sora that Cloud could love Riku.

And he knew perfectly well how strong the bond between Riku and Sora was.

"I can't simply walk away from Sora." Riku spoke firmly.

"No, you can't." Cloud agreed. There was resignation in his voice.

Riku stared at him for a moment before standing. He stepped up to him and lightly touched his face. "But I can't leave you, either."

Green eyes bore into blue. Riku's eyes were clear yet somehow unreadable. He had a heavy decision he needed to make and he couldn't let either one of them influence it. There had to be a way to keep them both.

"Good, you're both here."

They turned together. Sora's face was puffy, his cheeks a bit pink. His sky blue eyes were blood shot. With his hands in his pockets, he kicked at a loose stone. "I want to know everything, from the beginning. I think I deserve that much."

"You do." Cloud muttered.

"And then some." Riku added.

Cloud watched Sora for a long moment. He glanced at Riku then. "I want to talk to Sora."

Riku hadn't taken his gaze from his boyfriend. Could he even call him that any more? Sora was more serious than he'd ever seen him. This could not end well. "I, uh, yeah. All right."

He stepped away slowly. With heavy steps, he moved away from them. In a way, he was thankful Cloud was doing this part. Then again, he really deserved having to face Sora's heartbreak. And Cloud, he knew how far he had come and he was terrified that because of him Cloud would regress back to the withdrawn, removed person he use to be.

He walked out of the park and wandered. At least he'd be able to think alone.

Cloud lifted his head to the sky a moment, folding his arms. Then it dropped to stare down and to the side. He unfolded his arms. "I'm sorry for all of this, Sora."

"Don't be." Sora sighed, sitting himself on the fountain. Thank goodness the park was usually abandoned. "Just tell me about you and Riku."

"Not much to say." Cloud continued his downward gaze. "We met here, he was lost, I was lost. Somehow we connected."

"Not good enough" Sora snapped. Cloud looked up sharply. The boy's expression was angry. "If you're sorry like you say then tell me everything. And I want details, understand?"

Sora was deadly serious. For the first time ever, Cloud found himself fearful of the boy. Something about those blue eyes wasn't right. They were darker somehow. Different. It was almost as if it wasn't him.

He didn't know what Riku had already said so he simply started from the beginning. "Hades use to drag me to some of his meetings, almost like he wanted me to be his bodyguard. Usually, I was sent away once the thing got started, all the second stringers were. I kept to myself, finding some dark hall to wait in away from the others.

"There was one hall I had taken a liking to, going there often. There was a week between a set of these meetings and once the new one started, I retreated to the hall. This time there was someone else there, a new person I hadn't seen before and I didn't bother looking at him. We didn't talk at first, keeping to our separate areas.

"Then for whatever reason, I had the need to say something to him. So without even looking at him, I commented how the whole thing sucked. He agreed with a little laugh and we just started talking. I've never simply talked to someone before.

"The hours just disappeared and I was located by Hades to leave. I didn't even know the kid's name." Cloud paused. Sora was staring into the water as if hypnotized. The blonde knew that he was paying extremely close attention.

"We came back a few days later and again I saw him in the hall only this time it was like he had been waiting for me. That was when I actually looked at him. I hadn't expected how young he was. He sounded so much older. And I couldn't help but notice how similar his hair and eyes were to Sephiroth's. It honestly troubled me some.

"He smirked at me and very cockily said 'wasn't what you were expecting, am I?' I think that's when I first began falling for him. He was so confident and yet there's this underlying insecurity. There was more talking and again time simply flew by. This time it was Maleficent who found us. It was from her I heard Riku's name.

"After the first ten days or so, when we met, we would wander the castle. I told him I had a shack I was staying in when I was here and he said he'd like to see it sometime but Maleficent didn't let him wander away from the castle very often. Knowing we had some time before anyone would come looking for us, I offered to sneak him out.

"We left and went down by the river. We walked along it for a while not talking. I felt more comfortable with him than I did with even Aerith which was really strange. It was really late and dark out, a large amount of stars had already faded at that point. We sat on the bank and I don't remember how but we started talking about the darkness.

"We both felt lost. Like we had somehow completely strayed away from what our original goals were. The light was like some abstract thing we could no longer grasp. Next thing I knew, I was kissing him. I pulled away quickly, surprised by my action because I did not do things like that but he only smiled and kissed me."

Cloud moistened his lips. This had to be one of the longest lengths of time he had ever spoken. "Over the next week, we would sneak out to the river every time we met. The kissing continued, growing in intensity and by the end of that week we were lovers."

He waited for some reaction from Sora.

The boy was still staring but his eyes had narrowed. "Moved fast, didn't you?"

That really didn't need to be answered.

"Continue."

"Any time we could see each other, we did. He'd take a few extra days on his missions and I had lost my contract with Hades by then so if there wasn't a tournament, I was here. Almost as soon as we started sleeping together, he started talking about you. He was so conflicted in those days. He would get himself caught between cursing your name and crying that all he wanted was to be your friend again.

"I knew just by how he acted and how he talked about you that he cared deeply for you. After the Monstro thing, he came to me nearly suicidal. He went on about how he couldn't believe how cruel you were being and that's when he said it. Very clearly, he told me he loved you."

Cloud sighed. "That conversation, seeing him that vulnerable was also the exact moment I realized I was in love with Riku."

Sora blinked once then his eyes flicked over. "That had to be rough."

There was a trace of sympathy in his voice.

"Unbelievably. I had sworn to never fall in love again. I only let down everyone I cared about. Zack died because of me, Aerith died because I couldn't save her. I failed everyone important to me. But my heart wouldn't listen and fell in love again. And to top it off, Riku was in love with someone else."

Something in that expression changed.

"Something in his voice would change when he talked about you. Even was he was madder than hell at you, there was always this fondness in his voice. And it tore him to pieces that you were fighting. It was worse when he realized he was really the cause of it.

"But that arrogance and need to be the best wouldn't fade and he allowed Ansem to take him. Those were the worst few weeks of my life. Riku was just suddenly gone and I didn't know where to or if he'd ever return. It wasn't until much later that I found out about the possession and that you'd gone after him.

"I had come back to Hollow Bastion and was completely surprised to find everyone had returned. Cid had found me and some how convinced me to come to Merlin's. Aerith quickly noticed my melancholy and called me on it. All I could say was I was worried about someone who had been living here. She then explained what had happened here and how you had gone after Riku.

"I can't tell you how relieved I was when Aerith told me that. I knew if any one stood a chance of getting Riku back it was you. But then she said no one had heard from you since you left a month prior. I could only wait for something to happen. No one bothered asking me questions because I was always rather withdrawn to them. Only Aerith had an inkling but she didn't push it.

"Finally, one night I was at the river and Riku was just there. I thought I was seeing things but he kneeled down, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. It was one of the very few times I've cried. He told me everything would be alright.

"I think in the back of my mind I knew the words weren't true but at the moment I was simply so happy and relieved it didn't matter. He told me about Castle Oblivion, smiling a bit when he finished because he knew in a few more days I wouldn't remember most of it.

"He asked me to keep quiet about him because he was still uncomfortable with your friends and I knew his heart was still troubled. After you began to fade from everyone's memory, Riku would take out a picture he had of you and him and stare at it for hours. He was determined he would not forget you. Even when he no longer remembered your name, he studied that picture. He would say, 'This is who I'm fighting for.'

"I never fully understood what he meant by that. I only knew he was someone important to you. He stayed in the castle ruins and I went to him every night. We ate, talked, practiced, and slept together. We were living together and no one knew it. And even though I couldn't remember why, I kept us secret.

"There were times when the darkness would creep up on him and all I could do was hold him as he struggled to keep himself. Most of the time, it wasn't too difficult. Other times I seriously thought I was going to loose him. Almost a year passed that way. Then Riku began disappearing for days at a time. He said he was restless but wasn't sure why.

"Finally, he was gone for two full weeks. I decided to search for him and quickly realized he wasn't on Hollow Bastion anymore. That meant he was using corridors again. I knew the only thing that would start him using those again was the boy in the picture. That was when I first started really understanding how important you were to him.

"He risked his heart every time he used the darkness. We both knew it yet he did it any way. I don't know how I knew it, but I knew he had gone to find you. All I could do was wait." Cloud's voice cut off abruptly.

Sora glanced at him again. "Were you jealous about that?"

"Very much so. I want so damn badly to be that important to him."

Sora's eyes shifted. Cloud had said that in the present tense. That meant Cloud to this day was envious of him. He frowned a little at that. "Keep going."

"He returned once, blindfolded. He didn't say a word when he showed up, simply came to me and we made love. He never removed the blindfold and wouldn't let me touch it. He then said that it was time for him to make up for what he did and he wasn't sure when he'd be back. I knew he was prepared to never return.

"I made him swear to me that he would. It took a great deal of begging, something I never do, but he finally nodded and promised he'd come back. I didn't see him again for over a week and when I did…"

"He was going by Ansem." Sora whispered.

"Yes. I was… so sick in my heart. I just couldn't believe it had come to that. He had literally given up himself to bring you back. I still didn't know who you were but by then he did. His memory had begun returning before anyone else's. And that's when I knew I could never, ever compete with you. You would always be first in his heart.

"You still hadn't woken at that point and Riku needed me to keep what little of himself he still had so I stayed and supported him as I had from the beginning but I started distancing myself. I had then made up my mind to step back. All I wanted was Riku's happiness and I was certain that was with you. He loved you. I was only a temporary substitute."

Sora stood and walked up to him. He studied him intently for a long moment then slapped him. Completely unprepared, Cloud reeled back. He managed to not bring his hand up but damn had that hurt.

"You are a damn idiot." Sora nearly snarled. "You don't know Riku at all, do you?"

Cloud stared.

"Riku loves you! He never would had promised to return if he didn't! I'm the fucking substitute!" Rage clouded Sora's blue eyes. "Let me guess, he left again to finish helping Diz with Roxas. After I woke up, he came to you again and you, trying to be all fucking noble, break up with him! Oh how tragic."

Sora shoved Cloud's shoulder. "You're both fucking morons! You know that? And in the end who's the one who gets screwed? Me. I'm both of yours fucking victim."

He was breathing heavily and a film of sweat covered his face. "Listen up, Strife! You love Riku and Riku loves you. I'm sure somehow I fit into all of this but I will not allow this to continue! I'm out of both your lives. You want to make it up to me? Get back together with Riku and be happy about it.

"I'll get by. I'm the optimistic one, right? I make everything better for everyone. I'm the hope of the worlds, everyone's light!" The boy paced a few steps back and forth. "Well, where the hell's my light, huh? When do I get my happy ending? I thought I had but no, he's yours!"

Cloud watched in stunned silence as Sora suddenly began kicking at the fountain.

Then almost as suddenly he dropped to his knees before it, placed his arms and head on the side and wept fiercely. One hand repeatedly pounded on the stone. "Why, why, why?"

Cloud remained riveted to his spot. He had no idea how to handle this. It was completely overwhelming and totally unfamiliar. This was not what he ever wanted to see.

"You heard him, Strife."

Cloud whirled to see Leon leaning against one of the nearby trees. His expression was pained and his body terse. "Go see to it that all of this heartache is worth it."

"Leon-"

"Don't. Just go find Riku. I'll handle Sora." His voice was frigid.

Cloud, not knowing what else to do, left.