Chapter 10

Blanket disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the X-Men

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Bonus chapter! Since I had the holiday off I actually had some spare time to write something. I've included a cameo by a couple of the X-men as many people have requested….sort of. Here's chapter 10:

Last Time:

There were six Elders and Hinata had slain Hachiro. One of the remaining five Elders was going to have to take the fall for covering up Hachiro's death. With Tsunade's temper that person would probably be incarcerated, fined or worse. They would decide who would do that tonight for the good of the clan. Harumi's mood sank even deeper into despair when she heard what happened to her grand nephew Yosho. He was as skittish as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

The Hyūga Elders had made their bed, now they had to sleep in it….

Meanwhile….

On the other side of Konoha Shimura Danzo was standing in front of one of his operatives. "ROOT, for this mission your name is Sai. I have made arrangements for you to join team Kakashi and study Uzumaki Naruto and Illyana Rasputin when she is around. When the opportunity arises we will abduct Illyana and condition her so she can join our ranks. Failure is not an option."

"Yes Danzo-sama, my name is Sai." said an incredibly pale boy with a strange, fake smile on his face.

-Interlude: Wasabi ramen dreams-

Location: X-mansion, North Salem, New York

Illyana, Naruto and Hinata came to the front door of the X-mansion. Illyana turned to front door and knocked only for the door to be opened by her big brother Piotr!

"My baby sister!" said Piotr Rasputin as he scooped up Illyana while laughing. "I've missed you so much!" he said as he twirled her around. "Are these friends of yours?" asked Piotr perplexed as he looked at Naruto and Hinata.

"Piotr, this is Uzumaki Naruto, my loving husband!" said Illyana happily. Piotr looked a bit uncomfortable with the idea but gave a strained smile to Naruto who gave a friendly smile in return. "And this is Hyūga Hinata, my co-" Piotr stared at Hinata with hearts in his eyes. Tossing Illyana out of the way like a rag doll and shoving Naruto to the side he kneeled and took Hinata's hands in his and said, "Oh fair maiden Hinata! You are such a ravishing beauty; please do me the honor of marrying me!" Hinata looked totally flustered and Illyana was about to say something to intervene before Naruto blew his stack.

That's when her best friend Kitty Pryde phased up through the floor. "So you're Yana and this is the legendary Ruto I've been reading about in the Soldier and the Sorceress by the brilliant Sage Jiraiya. If the action is half as hot as what's written in these sacred pages then you must be really happy Illyana. Way to go girl! Hey, who's this hussy trying to seduce my boyfriend?!"

Piotr turn to Kitty and said, "I'm sorry Katherine but I've completely abandoned you for the radiant angel Hinata. It's like you're a Honda motor scooter and she's a Rolls-Royce limo. I'm sure you understand."

"WHAT?! I don't care if you are made of metal; I'll murder you Peter!" screamed Kitty.

"Now let's all calm down." said Hinata attempting to play peacemaker. "I'm flattered but I can't marry you Mister Piotr, I'm Illyana-chan's co-wife to Naruto-kun. The three of us are very happy together. I really think you should reconsider your relationship with Miss Honda."

Piotr stared wide eyed, stood up and pointed angrily at Naruto as he said, "Uzumaki Naruto; evil seducer of women! Not only have you corrupted my baby sister but the fair Miss Hinata also. I must kill you for the good of all womankind!" He transformed into his Colossus form and punched Naruto in the face sending him flying a good one hundred feet across the lawn.

"Naruto!" cried Illyana and Hinata simultaneously. Piotr was already running in a sprint towards the downed Naruto.

Illyana and Hinata were about to charge after Piotr to stop him when Kitty leaped in front of them holding Jiraiya's perverted book out in front of them. "THIS! Is it all true?!" she demanded. Illyana blushed atomic red and then nodded. "Then I want in. Peter and I are over!" said Kitty with hunger and lust in her eyes for Naruto.

"You can't have him Miss Honda! He belongs to Illyana-chan and I only!" shrieked Hinata.

"My name is Kitty, not Honda you man stealing bitch!" screamed Kitty at the top of her lungs.

Illyana's head was spinning. She was going to break up the fight between Kitty and Hinata when she heard Naruto's voice. "Try this, tin man! One thousand years of pain rasengan!" The three girls watched as Naruto body flickered behind Colossus and did a rasengan ass poke to Piotr causing the massive man to scream like a little girl and go sailing over them into the X-mansion leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. Illyana gaped as she saw her brother's bare, gleaming, organic steel ass sparkle amongst the debris of the mansion in the early morning sunlight….

….

Illyana jolted up from her sleep in a cold sweat. 'A dream…? Thank the heavens I woke up from that clusterfuck….'

She looked down and saw Naruto sleeping peacefully with his left arm wrapped protectively around her slender waist. On his right Hinata was curled up against him and looking up at Illyana. Her violet eyes glowed softly in the darkness. "Are you alright Illyana-chan? You jumped up so suddenly." whispered Hinata.

Illyana nodded. "I'm okay Hinata-chan. I just had a preposterous dream." she answered quietly. Illyana gently laid back down and snuggled into Naruto's warmth pulling the sheets back up as she did. She giggled softly. "My big brother was trying to kill Naruto for corrupting me and Naruto retaliated in his usual way. Let's just go back to sleep."

Hinata nodded and smiled before she closed her eyes again. Naruto unconsciously nuzzled Illyana in his sleep. Illyana felt her body slowly relax at Naruto's touch. She smiled softly before she drifted back to sleep as well.

-Hinata's dream-

Hinata was sitting in her office. It was much like her Father's but it was a little homier. It was still formal but not too formal. She was happily putting the finishing touches on the document banning the caged bird seal forever. Hinata, Naruto and Illyana had moved back into the Hyūga Compound after their tenth child was born. Hinata's role was that of the chief secretary of the clan and she delegated things so her younger sister Hanabi could have an easier time as clan head. They had a good working relationship and both sisters still had plenty of time for their families.

Hiashi was retired and enjoyed visiting his many Grandchildren now. All of them loved Hiashi Jiji.

Hinata looked up over her shoulder on the wall where the heads of the six Hyūga elders were neatly stuffed and mounted on plaques with various looks of horror etched upon them forever in death. Under their heads brass nameplates with names like 'Idiot,' 'Asshole' and 'Jackass' were engraved in a beautiful calligraphic script. Hinata smiled warmly and held up the document so the disembodied heads could see. She beamed at the looks on their faces and said. "Just think. Once Hanabi approves of this the caged bird seal will be banned forever and you six helped make it possible. I thank you."

Everything was the way it was meant to be….

-End dream-

Hinata smiled in her sleep at the peaceful dream she was having….

-Naruto's dream-

Naruto was relaxing in a hot tub filled with ramen along with Illyana-chan and Hinata-chan. His Hokage robes were in the floor nearby along the girl's clothing. They'd enjoyed a morning full of incredible sex and were cuddling in the steaming hot ramen afterwards. Regretfully they had to get out and get dressed so he could go to work.

A few hours later Naruto was in the Hokage's office finishing up the paperwork. Hinata-chan and Illyana-chan came to see him followed by a brood of fourteen kids that ages ranged from about two to ten years old. All of them had whisker marks and were adorable taking after their Mothers in looks. "Well, what a surprise! Everyone is here." said Naruto happily. "What's the special occasion?"

Hinata said, "Hanabi-chan said she couldn't watch the kids today due to her Clan Head schedule. Illyana-chan and I have appointments at the salon so we're leaving them with you this afternoon Naruto-kun." All the children beamed at their Daddy and Naruto smiled.

"Alright kids," said Illyana. "Be extra good for Daddy while we're gone." After hugging and kissing each of the little angels Illyana and Hinata departed.

Naruto saw his little cuties unpacking stuff from scrolls and he asked, "Did you kids bring your coloring books and games?"

The kids turned to him and chorused, "Nope!" as they unsealed buckets of paint, itching powder and smoke bombs among other things. "We bought our pranking supplies. It's time to prank all of Konoha!" Their smiles grew sinister on their whiskered faces and their eyes glittered with mischief that he saw in his own eyes every morning.

"WAAIITT…!" cried Naruto as his children body flickered out of the room.

Hours later Naruto was crying anime tears as he filled out a huge pile of paperwork generated by his fourteen children's mass pranking of the village. Half of ANBU had tendered their resignations due to being painted every color of the rainbow. There were riots in the streets and worst of all his children covered their tracks so well that even he couldn't prove they'd done anything wrong.

About that time the third Hokage walked into the office with a Grandfatherly smile and said, "What comes around goes around Naruto-kun…."

-End Dream-

Naruto's eyes snapped open in the darkness of the early morning. It would take a couple of hours before he'd doze back off again. He was terrified. He finally relaxed in the warmth of his himes snuggled up against him.

The next morning….

Illyana awoke and decided her plan to try to figure a way to teleport back to see the X-Men in New York was a really bad idea for now. While she wasn't a big believer in omens and stuff (in spite of all her sorcery) she had to wonder if the insane dream she had wasn't some kind of warning. (Or maybe it was the wasabi ramen they had for dinner last night-she was never touching that stuff again). Either way, the man-hungry look in her friend Kitty's eyes as she lusted after Naruto was really disturbing to the young sorceress….

Naruto had independently come to the same conclusion. He was going to avoid the new Wasabi ramen at Ichiraku's like the plague if it was going to have that kind of effect. Naruto absolutely loved ramen but obviously Wasabi ramen didn't love him back….

Hinata woke up fresh as a daisy. She'd had a wonderful night's sleep. Apparently she was immune to the hallucinogenic side effects of Ichiraku's Wasabi ramen. She did have an urge to see a taxidermist today to see about those plaques and nameplates for the elder's heads though….

-End of Interlude-

Illyana and Naruto's Apartment

The three lovers got up and had a healthy breakfast and got their ninja gear on. Today they were going to practice with Kurenai-Sensei and Anko-sensei along with Kiba and Shino. They'd originally planned to get Sakura as well but she was performing an autopsy at the hospital along with Shizune. They were soon strolling down a side street to meet up with Anko at the weapons shop when they sensed something was off. An all black lion like thing came rushing towards them from a rooftop as they spun around to face it. Naruto was able to draw a wind enhanced kunai and cut it down causing it to explode into ink.

Naruto was very confused but saw a pale looking shinobi on the roof where the ink creature had come from and body flickered up behind the person to attack him from behind only to find his kunai blocked by a calligraphy brush. Naruto raised an eyebrow as the strange ninja gave him a strange smile and said, "You sure are weak. How can you fight this way dickless?"

"Our Naruto-kun is NOT dickless!" screeched Illyana and Hinata on the street below. The sheer killing intent the two enraged kunoichis were throwing off was massive and distracted the pale ninja's attention from Naruto. Had Naruto been in a kinder mood he would have chopped the pale, smiling ninja's neck and knocked him unconscious. However, Naruto was not in a kind mood and figured the Hyūga Elders might have sent this jerk so he footsweeped smiley right off the roof into the waiting arms of his vengeful girlfriends below.

Hearing the fabric tearing, the screaming, kicking and shredding below almost made Naruto feel bad for smiley. Almost. At any rate he heard the noise receding and decided to look down over the edge of the roof. There was a trail of blood, spilled ink and shredded parchment leading into a nearby alley the girls dragged smiley into. Naruto hopped down and walked over towards the front of the alley only to see smiley crawling out on all fours bleeding badly from multiple cuts. Half his hair seemed to be ripped out. He looked like he'd been thrown into a pit of hungry jackals. "H-help me dickless!" smiley whimpered.

Naruto heard a growl in the alley and saw Illyana's clawed hand reach out and grab smiley's ankle and drag him back in. "Haven't learned your lesson yet have you?!" roared the demon girl.

'Oh shit, she's gone all Darkchilde on his ass!' thought Naruto. He saw the metal lid of a trash dumpster come flying out of the alley that he had to step back to avoid getting hit by. The previous screaming from smiley was now about five octaves higher than it had been. Naruto winced wondering what that could mean. He yelled over the noise, "Stop himes! We need him alive to interrogate him!"

At that point something looking somewhere between a piece of limp, uncooked bacon and road kill flew out of the alley and landed at Naruto's feet. Naruto wondered if he should check for vitals but first he had to figure out where to take a pulse at….

"Man, your two girlfriends sure shredded him!" said Anko as she came out of the weapons shop where she'd been watching the whole spectacle from. "He ain't smiling now!" she added with a chuckle. "Remind me again when you became a threesome?" asked the snake mistress as she kneeled down over the body to decide whether smiley was alive or not.

Illyana and Hinata came out of the alley looking completely unharmed and unaffected by the carnage and mayhem they'd just caused. The two kunoichis looked at the ninja they basically just skinned alive and glared. Anko smiled and said, "Well, you ladies did an outstanding job. He's alive but so brutalized that he can hardly move. I'll put some cuffs and a chakra suppressor seal on him and the four of us will waltz over to ANBU Torture & Interrogation. Did any of you get his name?"

"I'd just call him smiley for now." said Naruto as he kneeled down to look at the pale (and badly bruised) ninja's face with him tongue lolling out of his mouth. "Eh, what's this?" asked Naruto as he pulled the tongue a little further out.

"Don't pull his tongue off Naruto! He'll need that to confess with." scolded Anko.

"He's got a seal on his tongue Anko-sensei." said Naruto.

Anko looked and said. "Well, that's very interesting." She flared her chakra. "ANBU!" Three ANBU appeared on the rooftops and hopped down. Anko said, "This one could be a sleeper agent. He's got a seal on his tongue. Take him to T & I high security. I'm bringing these three into to make statements in case there's something I missed. Send a forensics team back here to gather evidence. We don't know what village smiley's from or if he's even affiliated with one."

Two of the ANBU vanished with smiley and the other radioed in for a cleanup team to gather evidence. Anko nodded. "They're doing their job kids. Let's go do ours. You'll be answering an ANBU agent a lot of questions and no matter how irrelevant it seems answer with what you know. If this guy's a foreign spy then the tiniest details could give us clues." The three younger ninjas nodded and followed Anko over to ANBU Headquarters.

ANBU T & I Building

Soon the three younger ninjas were sat in separate rooms for their interviews. Wolf headed over to interview Illyana but he was stopped by Cat. "I'm interviewing Rasputin, Wolf." she said. "You're supposed to interview Uzumaki."

Wolf shook his head, "Sorry, off day." and headed to see Naruto. Cat shrugged and went to see Illyana. She figured Wolf was still remembering when Uzumaki used to lead him on wild chases as a child. At the same time ANBU Crow went to interview Hinata.

With Naruto….

"Hi Wolf! Long time no see!" said Naruto.

Wolf shook his head as he sat down with a grunt. "No time for pleasantries Uzumaki. I need you to answer these questions in detail. State your name, rank and Ninja ID code…."

'Well this is going to be fun.' thought the blonde. Uzumaki Naruto, Chunin rank. My Ninja ID code is…."

With Illyana….

ANBU Cat sighed. "Let me get this straight Genin Rasputin. You two kunoichis savagely beat a person within an inch of his life not because he attacked you but because he called your mutual boyfriend dickless?"

Illyana blushed. "Well, yeah….That pretty much sums it up…."

Cat shook her head. 'Damned hormonal teenagers….' "On to the next question…."

With Hinata….

"So the creature that attacked you initially was a chakra based ink construct by your estimation; Chunin Hyūga?" asked Crow.

"That would be the best way I could describe it sir." said Hinata. "He attempted to draw something on a scroll when Illyana-chan and I pounced on him so my guess is he draws his creatures on a scroll and then animates them with chakra in order to attack others."

"Interesting technique…." said Crow.

With Naruto….

"So how's that carpal tunnel in your left hand wolf?" asked Naruto. "Did the Hokage get it all fixed up?"

"It's all better now Naruto. Can I ask the next question now?" asked Wolf frustrated.

"Fire away!" said Naruto. "That reminds me; what is your favorite color Wolf?"

Wolf growled, "That's enough Uzumaki! You're not cooperating with this investigation at all! Unless you want to be put on report…."

Naruto held his hands up in surrender. Wolf nodded. "Alright then, where was I?" he said as he looked down at his paper. When he looked up Naruto's fist was a fraction of an inch from his face. Wolf crashed out through the thin metal door behind him from the impact and Naruto pounced on top of him, putting a kunai to his jugular. All the ANBU quickly drew their weapons and Crow and Cat rushed out to them.

"What the hell are you doing Uzumaki?!" yelled Cat.

Naruto said calmly. "This is not ANBU Wolf. He is an imposter. He writes left handed like Wolf but instead of tilting the paper like Wolf does he crabs his hand over and keeps the paper straight. When I asked him how his carpal tunnel was he told me it was fine and Wolf has never had carpal tunnel syndrome."

Cat motioned to one of the other ANBU. "Remove Wolf's mask; he was acting strange earlier." She pressed her sword down on 'Wolf's' neck and said, "I've got him Uzumaki. Get off of him." Naruto hopped off and stood back where Illyana and Hinata were. When 'Wolf's' mask came off Cat said, "That's Horse! Where the hell is Wolf?"

Horse was quickly cuffed and his chakra was suppressed. The three younger ninjas were swept back into the interview room with Crow and sat quietly together under Crow's guard. They saw Morino Ibiki talking with Cat outside while the ANBU rushed around checking masks and every other form of identification there was. Naruto saw the real Wolf show up about twenty minutes later and felt relieved that he was all right. Ibiki came in with Wolf and Cat and said. "So you recognized Wolf's style of handwriting, how?"

Naruto answered, "After some of my more creative pranks; Wolf hauled me down here several times to interview me ANBU style to put the fear in me and I watched how he wrote over the years."

Ibiki nodded. "And the carpel tunnel?"

"Wolf used to tell me he was getting carpal tunnel from writing reports out on me." replied the blonde. "When Horse answered his carpel tunnel was all better now, I knew he was a fake."

Ibiki glared hard and asked, "And you punched him through a metal door based on that evidence alone? How do you know this is the real Wolf?" Ibiki said motioning to Wolf.

"Simple!" said Naruto. "Wolf, what is your favorite color?" Wolf gave a barely perceptible cringe at the question. Naruto nodded, "See? That's the real Wolf. He always cringes at that question because has PTSD when it comes to pink! When I asked the fake Wolf that question he just brushed it off. That's when I gave him a chakra enhanced punch to the face."

Cat stared at Wolf. "Pink? Really?!"

Wolf fumed. "Uzumaki painted me pink head to toe and the ANBU commander at the time punished me by making me perform my duties in pink the rest of the week! After that the brat made no less than six attempts to paint me pink again! I loath pink with all my heart and soul!"

Cat whistled, "Gee, you should see a Yamanaka about that…." The room was silent for several minutes as they all looked at the pink hating ANBU Wolf….

Wolf huffed and turned to Ibiki. "Well Commander, do you need me to make an assessment of Horse or should I go back to my day off?"

Ibiki sighed and rubbed his forehead, "Go ahead and enjoy your day off Wolf. Try to forget about….pink."

Wolf saluted Ibiki and turned to Naruto. "Good job on catching Horse in the act brat. I guess it pays for me to have friends in the lowest of places after all." Naruto smiled and nodded at the backhanded compliment and Wolf left.

Illyana turned to Naruto. "You guys are still friends after all that?"

Naruto shrugged, "I was six at the time I painted him pink and called him ANBU-chan for months after that. We eventually made peace for the most part. It's really the old ANBU commander's fault he hates pink so much; not mine. Anyway, some of my most exciting chases from the scene of a prank were when Wolf was hot on my tail; Cat too."

Illyana and Hinata looked at Cat who said, "He never painted me."

"I trust everyone in this room will keep Wolf's little phobia a secret?" said Ibiki in a commanding tone. After receiving a round of affirmatives Ibiki nodded and left….only to come back five minutes later. "Chunin Uzumaki, you know seals don't you?"

Naruto nodded. "Yes, do you-"

"Come with me Uzumaki." said the scarred man as he whipped back around and started walking. Naruto squeezed his girlfriends' hands gently, hopped up and followed Ibiki through a set security doors. They entered an elevator going down and Ibiki said, "Nothing you see, hear, taste, touch or even say leaves this floor we are about to enter unless you have permission from the Hokage or myself; understood?"

Naruto saluted. "Yes sir!"

Ibiki nodded and they stepped off the elevator and found Anko waiting for them. She didn't look too happy. "What took you so damn long? Come on and I'll tell you on the way." As Ibiki and Naruto travelled down a side passage they came to a room that Naruto guessed might be Anko's office. She sat down and focused on Naruto. Pulling a drawing out she said, "Sit down and study this drawing. What does this look like to you?"

Naruto looked over the drawing and said, "It's a concealment seal. These upper lines are keyed to what it conceals and these lower ones are the concealment itself. It's very similar to what was on smiley's tongue we saw earlier today."

"Can you remove it safely Uzumaki?" asked Ibiki.

Naruto looked hard and said "No. This kind of seal placed on somebody's tongue could not be removed safely except maybe by damaging it through cauterization but that could render the tongue completely useless. It's possible to make a counter seal for these sorts of things but I'll have to study the original. This drawing isn't exact enough. It's too crude in the details."

Ibiki nodded. "Fair enough; could you make a universal counterseal?"

"I'd have to see multiple versions to even contemplate making a universal seal, let alone make one." answered Naruto. "It would be faster to make multiple individual counterseals than some one-size-fits-all universal seal. Do you need me to crack smiley's tongue seal?"

Anko answered, "Eventually; but there's one other like it that's even more important. Horse has one too."

"Well, shit. Horse has been in ANBU for months hasn't he?" asked Naruto rhetorically. "God knows how much information he's smuggled out."

"Now you see why we have to crack the seal on Horse first." said Anko. "It prevents him from talking and his entire body gets paralyzed if he tries to reveal anything."

"Shame Ero-sennin isn't here, he'd be a big help." said Naruto.

"Ero-sennin?" asked Ibiki puzzled.

"That's Naruto's cute little pet name for Master Jiraiya, his sensei." laughed Anko.

"Let's get started then." said Ibiki.

The Hyūga Compound

The four remaining Elders of the Hyūga Clan were discussing what to do over a late lunch. Hyūga Daichi had been hauled away in shackles by the ANBU that morning after he admitted to bribing the coroner about Hachiro's manner of death. He claimed it was a matter of clan honor and clan law so he should be immune to prosecution over the matter. The ANBU informed him that the Hokage begged to differ and that an investigation was open on all of the elders until further notice before they took off with him. He'd been marched out of the compound for all to see like a parade animal instead of discreetly taken away like the Elders had hoped. Rumors were flying fast around the compound. Hiroto and the others hoped to throw a political smokescreen up but the Hokage already had Daichi's belongings and financial records seized so getting him out of the situation was going to be a bit precarious at best –not to mention his reputation was ruined in the eyes of many in the clan.

Harumi barely had time to doctor Daichi's bank accounts last night to clear the other elders of blame once Daichi agreed to take the fall. She was exhausted from pulling an all nighter and even at that the records at the bank were seized before she could make them completely air tight. It would simply have to do for now. Aside of Hiroto and Harumi, the other two elders remaining were Maiko and Souta. Other than Souta they were scrambling for a way to appease Hinata before Hiashi got back on Friday. It was Tuesday and they had already made arrangements for both houses to be involved in supporting Hinata's reinstatement as heiress with Hanabi's blessings and the promises to Hanabi and everyone else that they would be willing to change things. They just had to get Hinata back in the compound to accept the position….

Souta had gone along with it grudgingly but it was clear he wasn't happy with the situation. He claimed they didn't even know what Hinata's new doujutstu was and didn't think it was proper for her with her mutation (as he called it) to be instated as clan head when Hanabi was already there with a pure byakugan. He believed they were tarnishing their ancestors. On the other hand; he had to face the political and financial realities that Hinata currently was in a position to ruin him and the greedy old man didn't want that. He had worked hard for his power over the decades through treachery and a few bodies along the way so he certainly wasn't going to throw it away over a matter as trivial as principle.

Maiko on the other hand was trying to secure a proper political marriage between any one of her four handsome grandsons and Hinata. They were all very close to her age but she'd always steered them clear of Hinata because she felt Hiashi's eldest was doomed to fail. Hinata crushed that idea with an iron fist as quickly as she had Elder Hachiro. Maiko believed this new bloodline was destined to form a new main house of Hyūgas and she wanted one of her line to be in at the ground floor. She had people within the family already researching what Lady Hinata's tastes were so one of her grandsons could move in and sweep the girl off her feet. Her boys had basically been groomed for that sort of thing since they were little anyway….

Harumi for one had come to the conclusion that the Elders as a group had completely misjudged Hinata and wanted to make it up to her. She had a much more positive outlook about this: Hinata had truly become the strong heiress they wanted all along. Elder Harumi had no idea what power Hinata's eyes held but they could bring strength and glory to the Hyūga Clan and that's what the elder's ultimate goal was anyway. They had to convince Hinata they weren't her enemies of course but the way Hinata handled the situation so far had been brilliant. Even on the receiving end Harumi had to give credit where it was due; if Hinata's mind was this formidable now in the political arena then what would she grow into in the future? Harumi wanted to see Hinata grow and flourish as an heiress and bring glory to the illustrious Hyūga Clan! With Harumi to help guide her there was no doubt Hinata would succeed in the old woman's mind.

For his part, Hiroto was feeling the weight of his sins settling upon him. First he had Hizashi sealed as a child and then he was harsh with Hiashi's grieving over his wife's death which turned his son cold instead of letting him heal. Hiroto's brilliant grandson Neji was doomed from birth to be in the branch house even though he would have made a great heir. He'd convinced Hiashi to pass over Hinata and tried to manipulate Hanabi. The head Elder really thought his Grandfatherly letter to Hinata would convince her to come home. In Hiroto's heart he genuinely wanted to reconcile with his estranged Granddaughter but the searing letter she sent back revealed she wanted to destroy him as slowly and painfully as possible. A big part of him wanted to commit ritual suicide in the face of this shame but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He hoped that through Hiashi and Hanabi he might be able to build a bridge to Hinata….provided they didn't turn on him too.

ANBU High security holding cells

Sai, AKA smiley, awoke from his narrow escape with two giant tigresses in the forest of death….No; it was two ferocious kunoichis in an alley. With the pain and all his memories were a bit blurred. Sai was hurting from head to toe. Well, that wasn't quite accurate either. It seemed his left heel didn't hurt but the rest of his body did. He found he was completely restrained and seemed to be in some sort of dental contraption from hell. His mouth was pried wide open and there were clamps stretching his tongue out of his mouth. Was he being operated on? Was it some sort of torture device?!

Sai cracked open his exhausted eyes only to see Uzumaki Naruto sitting in front of him humming quietly to himself as he deftly painted on a scroll. Was Uzumaki an artist too? He didn't remember that in the blonde's profile….Naruto looked up and saw Sai was awake. His eyes sparkled with mischief and his face had a large grin on it. "Well, good morning smiley! Don't mind me. I'm just studying this little old seal on your tongue. Once I crack it you'll be able to tell us who you're working for and loads of other fun stuff. It's going to be great!" Sai's eyes widened at the idea.

Naruto's eyes turned predatory as he smacked Sai on his partially bald head causing the pale boy to wince. "Now don't you worry one bit. A good wig and you'll be the stunning ladies' man you've always been." Naruto ignored the pathetic whimper smiley made and got back to work. Inside his head he was admiring the hatchet job his himes had done on smiley's head. There were spots between the tufts of hair scattered about where his head had been clawed (obviously Illyana) and scalped with chakra scalpels (definitely Hinata). The parts where the pale boy's hair had simply been pulled out by the roots could have been either of them really….

Naruto smiled as he finished duplicating the seal on Sai's tongue. "Looks like I'm done. Thanks for being so cooperative smiley. I really couldn't have done this without you. I'll send someone to get your tongue out of that gadget in the next couple of hours….or maybe tomorrow. It isn't like you have any appointments to keep. Later!" With that Uzumaki Naruto left the very distressed Sai alone in his cell….

ROOT ANBU hidden base

Shimura Danzo was sitting at his desk quietly contemplating matters. His agent Sai was locked up under high security and there was no way he could extract the boy short of invading ANBU headquarters and that wasn't going to happen. There was no way to get the boy out politically without revealing ROOT was still active. It was a disaster! He told Sai to test Uzumaki's strength when he could but this whole situation had completely backfired. By the time his ROOT agents arrived on the scene an ANBU forensics team was finishing their cleanup and what exactly happened to Sai was a mystery.

To compound matters his agent Horse screwed up the follow up and was in a holding cell as well. Horse's job was to ascertain what the situation was with Sai and then eliminate Sai if absolutely necessary to cover their tracks. That fell apart thanks again to Uzumaki. Was the Kyubi container programmed to mess up Danzo's schemes?! He wondered if Sarutobi Hiruzen had subliminally taught Uzumaki to throw a wrench in the works every time Danzo made a move. He remembered once that an enraged pink ANBU agent was chasing the boy as a child and the Kyubi brat discarded his paint can only to hit Danzo in the head and stain him pink as well. He also remembered when his arm was glued to his chest in its sling at a particularly important council meeting….Danzo never did figure out how that brat pulled that one off though he did remember the look of barely contained laughter in Hiruzen's eyes….

Actually, looking back over the years almost every run in he had with Uzumaki Naruto had been a disaster. Hiruzen was laughing his ass off at Danzo's expense in the shinigami's belly. He just knew it. Was total world domination too much to ask for? Danzo decided to send one of his agents out to get some of that new Wasabi flavored ramen that he'd heard about. Yes, some comfort food and a good night's rest and Danzo would be back at it full steam tomorrow….

POSTSCRIPT:

Well, mainly light stuff this chapter. I've had a lot of people wanting to see the X-men so at least we have a sample though it's not to be taken seriously. The Hyūga Elders seem to each have their own agenda so the idea of a united front between them seems to be self destructing whether they realize it or not. Sai and Horse are in a real pickle and Danzo's scheme to find out more about Illyana and abduct her has resulted in the Warhawk finding himself stuck in the middle of a field of landmines named Uzumaki Naruto. Will Danzo quit while he's ahead? Probably not. Blue out. 2/16/15